Advocating for the falsely accused victim

[shrinkydink]

Shrinky, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's experience as well as yours. I think a lot of us here have similar stories to share and it really breaks our hearts.



I want to clarify (you seem to misinterpret it) that just because some of us think that the Mc Canns are involved with Maddie disappearance (it is OUR opinion and we are entitled to it) does NOT mean we hate them. It has nothing to do with hate but we want justice to take place like any other place.

I respect your view that you do not think they are involved...fine...but you need to respect the views of the others who do think they are involved. It is only fair.

Peace.

How am I not respecting your opionion? I don't see how saying I see hate being directed at this family on the internet is directed at you. It's so obvious it's already being mentioned in the Times today. It's not as if most people are hiding this hatred.

If you say you don't hate them, I believe you. But I stand by my statement that many people are spewing a lot of venom with very little reason. If that's not you, then I obviously don't mean you and I never meant any disrespect towards you.

Shrinky

 

[englishleigh]

Shrinky, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's experience as well as yours. I think a lot of us here have similar stories to share and it really breaks our hearts.



I want to clarify (you seem to misinterpret it) that just because some of us think that the Mc Canns are involved with Maddie disappearance (it is OUR opinion and we are entitled to it) does NOT mean we hate them. It has nothing to do with hate but we want justice to take place like any other place.

I respect your view that you do not think they are involved...fine...but you need to respect the views of the others who do think they are involved. It is only fair.

Peace.

:clap: :clap: :clap: Exactly what I would have posted.

Shrinky, I am very sorry about your family.

 

[shrinkydink]

Here's what I am trying to say in a much more professional manner. It's not just my opion clashing with people here, it's something that is happening everywhere this case is discussed.

"The public is to blame for the heartless abuse being heaped on Kate McCann. The internet has blurred the lines of news and hearsay and the result is trial by global gossip"

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2459924.ece

 

[Animal04216]

I don't know if Mrs. McCann is falsely accused or not. However I do know that on THIS board her actions ,or lack thereof ,are open to discussion, as she HAS been named a suspect. If it proves to be wrong and someone else is arrested, or she is no longer considered a suspect, I'm sure there will be alot of people on this board who will publicly state that they may have been wrong. I have seen absolutley NO hatred "spewed" here, just speculation and opinions based on her very own actions, and the very limited information that we have. I realize that there are very very little facts made public in this case, however the people here at WS do have a right to discuss this case and state their opinion whatever it may be.

 

[shrinkydink]

I don't know if Mrs. McCann is falsely accused or not. However I do know that on THIS board her actions ,or lack thereof ,are open to discussion, as she HAS been named a suspect. If it proves to be wrong and someone else is arrested, or she is no longer considered a suspect, I'm sure there will be alot of people on this board who will publicly state that they may have been wrong. I have seen absolutley NO hatred "spewed" here, just speculation and opinions based on her very own actions, and the very limited information that we have. I realize that there are very very little facts made public in this case, however the people here at WS do have a right to discuss this case and state their opinion whatever it may be.

I agree fully. I assumed that meant me, too, and I registered what is apparently a very opposing opinion to some. Obviously, I don't think my suggestions for a different type of discussion are to be take as law by anyone, nor did I ever deny anyone a right to speak. I don't have that power, so even if I wanted to, I couldn0t.

It was a suggestion based on personal experience and many years of victim advocacy. I am rather surprised at how negatively this suggestion has been taken, to be honest. I think I've said many times it's not the difference of opinion that shocks me, it's the vehemence, the hateful tone that is surprising, given the lack of evidence at this point.

Shrinky

 

[ceeaura]

shrinkydink, I am really sorry you,your mom and family had to go through that.Its awful.I hope your family are doing ok and want nothing but for you all to find peace.I know it has to have been a hard road to travel.

Animal04216I don't know if Mrs. McCann is falsely accused or not. However I do know that on THIS board her actions ,or lack thereof ,are open to discussion, as she HAS been named a suspect. If it proves to be wrong and someone else is arrested, or she is no longer considered a suspect, I'm sure there will be alot of people on this board who will publicly state that they may have been wrong. I have seen absolutley NO hatred "spewed" here, just speculation and opinions based on her very own actions, and the very limited information that we have. I realize that there are very very little facts made public in this case, however the people here at WS do have a right to discuss this case and state their opinion whatever it may be.

Animal04216I,Thank you for your post!I know being a mod on this case is a tough job on other cases as well. You and the other mods are doing a great job! :clap:

 

[shrinkydink]

shrinkydink, I am really sorry you,your mom and family had to go through that.Its awful.I hope your family are doing ok and want nothing but for you all to find peace.I know it has to have been a hard road to travel.




Animal04216I,Thank you for your post!I know being a mod on this case is a tough job on other cases as well. You and the other mods are doing a great job! :clap:

Thank you, ceeaura. I appreciate your kindness and understanding.

Shrinky

 

[SleuthMom]

How am I not respecting your opionion? I don't see how saying I see hate being directed at this family on the internet is directed at you. It's so obvious it's already being mentioned in the Times today. It's not as if most people are hiding this hatred.

I was not speaking about myself but generally. It seems you have issues with the way some posters (who do think the Mc Canns are involved) choose to express their views about them. (You even opened this thread about them which shows obviously the issue is bothering you enough). Fair.

You speak about "hate" and the way emotions run when people speak about them. Well, the way I see it is: Everyone has the right to express their views and emotions in the way they see it fit, I am not going to enter into a morality/ethics issue because Web Sleuths (with all due respect is NOT Sunday School) BUT as long as the posters respect the terms of service they agreed upon registration, then they are entitled to share their views and express their emotions in the way they like.

You see, lots of us do not have issues with those who think the Mc Canns are innocent, I absolutely respect that and...it is fine, then just let us share our views and feelings the way we WANT without feeling scrutinized for doing so, just because (in your OPINION) we may be expressing too much "hate".

To each his own, live and let live.

 

[Rino]

Shrinky, I am sorry for what your mother and family suffered.

However, there are critical points/differences about the McCanns.

They are not the victims of a crime. Madeleine McCann is/was. They have been officially named as suspects by the police authorities in the country where she went missing, so just as Robert Murat's actions and comments were and probably will continue to be scrutinized, examined, and weighed, so will the McCanns.

They have a network of influential and wealthy associates and friends put in motion immediately when Madeleine first was publicly discovered missing--a network that reaches all the way to the Prime Minister. You or I would be lucky to have a third-level consulate employee show up. The McCanns immediately, with the aid of a professional PR firm, set in motion a massive media campaign, thus setting themselves firmly in the public eye.

The argument seems to be that the McCanns, having made one terrible/dumb/ignorant decision, are now immune from any other other criticisms of their behavior, actions, or comments. They have somehow earned a Universal Pass on everything they do, simply because of their dumb/horrible/inexcusable decision.

The McCanns have not been falsely accused, because there has been no trial yet. No one can say whether or not they are "falsely" accused, we can only debate the evidence against them.

If you don't like what other people consider evidence, don't hang out on this forum. There are literally thousands of forums out there that I don't agree with, don't like, don't understand why are in existence, but I'm not going to show up and suggest that everyone who posts there should just go away.

Exactly!

 

[shrinkydink]

I was not speaking about myself but generally. It seems you have issues with the way some posters (who do think the Mc Canns are involved) choose to express their views about them. (You even opened this thread about them which shows obviously the issue is bothering you enough). Fair.

You speak about "hate" and the way emotions run when people speak about them. Well, the way I see it is: Everyone has the right to express their views and emotions in the way they see it fit, I am not going to enter into a morality/ethics issue because Web Sleuths (with all due respect is NOT Sunday School) BUT as long as the posters respect the terms of service they agreed upon registration, then they are entitled to share their views and express their emotions in the way they like.

You see, lots of us do not have issues with those who think the Mc Canns are innocent, I absolutely respect that and...it is fine, then just let us share our views and feelings the way we WANT without feeling scrutinized for doing so, just because (in your OPINION) we may be expressing too much "hate".

To each his own, live and let live.

How I am not letting live and let live? I really don't get what your problem with me is. I keep telling you I simply don't agree, and somehow that is not enough. Like I said, the hate on the internet is so obvious, it's now being reported as news, yet you act as if this is something only I feel.

Why? Why even keep talking to me? I already said I meant no disprespect, but I see hate and lots of it. I'm not the one telling people here to find another board, it's people saying that to me, yet I'm showing disprespect?

I don't even see that this is a valid argument.

Shrinky

 

[shrinkydink]

Shrinky, I'm sorry for what happened to you and your mother. What a terrible thing for a family to go through.

Thank you CaliKid. That is nice of you. I really didn't mean to make this about me. I was just trying to say I have seen first hand the devastation that false accusations can lead to. I do think erring on the side of caution makes me sense.

Anyway, than you for offering kind words.

Shrinky

 

[eleven]

How I am not letting live and let live? I really don't get what your problem with me is. I keep telling you I simply don't agree, and somehow that is not enough. Like I said, the hate on the internet is so obvious, it's now being reported as news, yet you act as if this is something only I feel.

Why? Why even keep talking to me? I already said I meant no disprespect, but I see hate and lots of it. I'm not the one telling people here to find another board, it's people saying that to me, yet I'm showing disprespect?

I don't even see that this is a valid argument.

Shrinky

Shrinky - I understand your point. Don't allow yourself to baited into an argument or discourse. Best best is to simply move on and not respond to posters who appear to be baiting you. You can explain your stance til your blue in the face, but if someone who disagrees with you wants to engage in a back and forth and bait you, it's best to ignore them.

 

[shrinkydink]

Shrinky - I understand your point. Don't allow yourself to baited into an argument or discourse. Best best is to simply move on and not respond to posters who appear to be baiting you. You can explain your stance til your blue in the face, but if someone who disagrees with you wants to engage in a back and forth and bait you, it's best to ignore them.

Thank you eleven. You are quite right, and I appreciate the advice.

Shrinky

 

[ny_]

I'd like to add my concern & sorrow at the ordeal you & your mother went through. One of my relatives went through something similar, though thankfully, public attitudes & legal procedures towards rape victims have changed substantially for the better. Which meant they received the compassion & care, if not the justice, they needed.

As for the Madeline McCann case, the evidence, so far, hasn't been conclusive proof the McCanns did it. Nor has there been conclusive proof they didn't do it. And yes, the police are at fault for that for not treating it properly as a crime scene early on. They're may have been evidence which was lost/destroyed/damaged as a result of that. Evidence which could have either cleared or implicated the McCanns.

Leaving the kids alone wasn't the same as your mom opening the door. Madeline, at just slightly under 4, was the oldest child in this group. Now, if they'd been sitting right outside of the apts where they could hear/see the kids, that would be one thing. But leaving them where they couldn't see & hear them? Checking them supposedly every half hour? Never mind abductors. Kids that age can fall, set fires, get into medication and who knows what else. That's why they should have someone nearby at all times. It's highly irresponsible to leave them alone.

Being irresponsible doesn't make necessarily make them guilty. But the police have raised issues of evidence. Are they supposed to ignore the forensic evidence which indicates they might be guilty? How many parents have gotten away with murder because the police are afraid to tread in sensitive terrain?

Since the evidence is inconclusive, their behavior is scrutinized much more carefully. I don't expect/require them to weep in public to "prove" their innocence. Or to look disheveled. But the frequent smiling in photo ops strikes me as odd. As does the blase tone of Gerry McCanns blog. And the most recent release of photos is just odd as I've mentioned in other threads. Why would you release photos of your wedding, other family members & your daughter as she looked when she was younger if you genuinely believe your child's been abducted? Personally, I would want the most recent photo image burned into people's mind, not my wedding photo. Because if someone does see her, that's the only way they're going to be able to recognize her & help bring her home safe. Releasing the wedding photos, etc. seems to be an attempt to manipulate/play on our sympathies at best or to distract us from the truth at worst.

 

[AfterMidnight]

Shrinky, in my opinion, which I'm entitled to according to TOS, the hate on these McCann boards is palpable. I totally understand where you're coming from and give you a lot of credit for trying, by giving a real example, to show how people's lives are destroyed by other people's need to build themselves up on the misery of others.

In the above article by the "Dingo" mom, she said:
"I believe that the roots of our anxiety are deep. In particular, we need to feel that we can keep our children safe and to acknowledge to ourselves that we can't is to open ourselves to feelings of terror. "

I disagree with her. I believe the roots of the anxiety and hostility is not totally because of a need to keep our children safe. I believe the root cause of the hatred toward the McCann's is because many parent's have had murderous thoughts which makes them feel guilty and inadequate. How much easier it is to blame Kate because, by so doing, they are able to project their own negative feelings on to someone else - scapegoating if you will. I don't believe I ever understood the Bible meaning of the scapegoat before. Interesting.

Keep on being yourself, shrinkydink, you're doing a good thing whether anyone realizes it or not.

 

[eleven]

Thank you eleven. You are quite right, and I appreciate the advice.

Shrinky

You're welcome, Shrinky. I also want to add that I am sorry for what you and your mom went through.

 

[SleuthMom]

How I am not letting live and let live? I really don't get what your problem with me is.

Woah...I do not have a problem with you at all, honestly I do not even know you. I do not get emotional with people, even more with people I do not even know.

I keep telling you I simply don't agree, and somehow that is not enough. Like I said, the hate on the internet is so obvious, it's now being reported as news, yet you act as if this is something only I feel.

I think that's the issue. You are telling people that they are expressing so much hate towards the Mc Cann....With all due respect: It is really none of your business how posters express their views as long as they are respecting the terms of service here, so what is really the purpose of your statement? By making statements like that, unfortunately you may be making people feel scrutinized about their opinions and I don't think that's good and I do not think you would like that either, not so?.

If someone wants to defend the Mc Canns and show "love" for them, I say good for them! If someone wants to show they do not like them EVEN if they saw a pic they do not like, then they are FREE to do so and they CAN! (without having someone in their back telling them they are not "playing" nice or they are showing too much "hate"). I mean, we are not kids..we are all adults here.

 

[eleven]

Thank you eleven. You are quite right, and I appreciate the advice.

Shrinky

Your welcome! Eventually if you ignore the baiting it will go away.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Once Again, Off Topic And Not Needed To Discuss This Case.