CA CA - Sydney “Syd” West, 19, Univ of CA student, San Francisco, 30 Sep 2020 #2

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Dnp2be said:
RSBM. Me too. I have a hard time accepting that she jumped. Not because I don’t believe it, but more so because I don’t want it to be true (if it is). She seemed like such and intelligent and very pretty girl with whatever future she desired.
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Same, I have a hard time believing it too. I’ve struggled with depression/suicide in the past too and I’m not sure if withdrawing from college alone would’ve been enough to push her to suicide (though idk, it’s different for everyone). I think there might’ve been something more to it if it was suicide (but who knows). I think if there was a previous attempt before her disappearance her parents might’ve mentioned it and I don’t think people would be treating it as a runaway case.

Though I really hope it wasn’t suicide, I think she seemed very talented and had a lot of good opportunities for the future, lots of caring friends, etc. I feel suicide would’ve been a huge mistake. I hope she is safe somewhere and turns up okay.
 
Dnp2be said:
RSBM. Me too. I have a hard time accepting that she jumped. Not because I don’t believe it, but more so because I don’t want it to be true (if it is). She seemed like such and intelligent and very pretty girl with whatever future she desired.

I’ve learned so many things in this life and mental health/psychiatry has been a calling for me. I base a lot of my work on relating to others. I know what it’s like to lose that person closest to you to suicide (without ever seeing it coming). I know personally the pain experienced from life long depression and the hopeless resolution of suicidal ideation.

What I learned this last year still has my head spinning a little. My mother who is blessed to not know depression, told me she doesn’t understand how someone can’t see through to the other side. How one can feel like they can’t go on. She said some other things that unintentionally hurt my feelings. I poured my guts out to her hoping she would understand even if only a little bit. But she didn’t. And I realized that no matter what I say, what analogy I use, how I say it....she isn’t going to understand. And I felt very alone at that moment.

For anyone reading this who feels alone, please know you are definitely not alone. Mental health should be just as important as our physical health. The stigma of mental illness only serves to keep us sick. It’s so hard to reach out at times but you are definitely not alone.

I hope Syd is alive and well. If not I hope she has found some peace. The pain of losing a loved one to suicide is just as painful as feeling suicidal (to me at least). I hope they get some sort of closure.

I apologize for the long post. Just felt compelled to write this tonight.
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you definitely are not alone either!!! I am sorry your mom couldnt understand.
 
If she did jump, the only solace I can take from it, is it is better than her fate if she had been abducted. At least it was an ending, by her own terms, and not that of a predator. :(

I know that she had a lot of amazing potential. As people have noted, she was talented, intelligent, beautiful and had a large supportive family. So much opportunity surrounding her.

But that kind of thing also can create anxiety and tremendous pressure. I went to UC Berkeley myself. And I can still remember the intensity of finals, and waiting for the grades to come out. Everyone seemed so stressed by family and finances and overall high expectations....and the brightest and most talented were often the most anxious and upset
 
Yeah, I’ve started taking some courses part of a continuing education program at UC Berkeley and some of the courses can be very intensive and time consuming. For someone struggling with depression it can definitely be difficult to concentrate or have the energy for a heavy work load or meet tight deadlines. So I can definitely understand why she might have needed to take time off if it was too much. If there were additional expectations/pressure on her that definitely could’ve made withdrawing more difficult.
 
What makes me sad is that she wanted to go to a big school so badly, and she was obviously smart enough. She just couldn’t keep up with all that pressure, she was not ready and she might have never been. So sad.
 
Carmita V said:
Depression in young people is dangerous. IMO.
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I would agree with you and everyone matures at different paces depending on personal situations. The ability to think critically is not always fine tuned at younger ages. That being said, depression is dangerous no matter what age, imo. Personally my depression has evolved with me as I age. It’s really no better or no worse than when I was younger. Having my daughter was about the only time besides when I graduated with my BSN that I was truly happy. She still brings joy to my life.

Sometimes it feels as if the best of life has come and gone and will remain only a memory. The one thing that changed for me with age is that I’m no longer afraid of the end and can find acceptance with it were it to happen. And to me, that is dangerous thinking and scary. My grandmother took her own life. And while true that she had the opportunity to live a good portion of years, it hurts no more or no less.

@amethystcrystal thank you for sharing. Good for you for taking classes. When I was in school, although stressful it was a rewarding experience and having a goal to keep us motivated is a good coping strategy. I completely agree with your statement that suicide would have been a huge mistake. For some reason, the way you worded that statement really resonated with me.
 
owleye said:
Is it odd that the reward offer expires in about a month (according to the flyer)? I don't think I've ever seen that before.
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I wondered about that, too. My feeing is that they want to be free to update it if they don’t get answers in 2 months, and they want to create some urgency. I also found it sad but prudent that they offer the reward for her return and not “safe” return, in case she’s deceased.
 
owleye said:
It's too bad they don't (or can't) post the bridge video footage they keep mentioning. If they want someone to remember seeing her on the bridge 4 months ago, it seems the footage would be really helpful.[/QUOTE
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owleye said:
It's too bad they don't (or can't) post the bridge video footage they keep mentioning. If they want someone to remember seeing her on the bridge 4 months ago, it seems the footage would be really helpful.
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The video would also be a great way to drive attention to the case. This case has been surprisingly under the radar. I don’t mean to sound gross, but a NY Post/whatever article with the headline “Berkeley student last seen on Golden Gate Bridge; parents plead for answers in disappearance [VIDEO]” would drive a lot of web traffic to the story, and all you need is ONE person who was on the bridge that morning and saw a tall girl with her hair pulled back.
 
NSamuelle said:
The video would also be a great way to drive attention to the case. This case has been surprisingly under the radar. I don’t mean to sound gross, but a NY Post/whatever article with the headline “Berkeley student last seen on Golden Gate Bridge; parents plead for answers in disappearance [VIDEO]” would drive a lot of web traffic to the story, and all you need is ONE person who was on the bridge that morning and saw a tall girl with her hair pulled back.
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I'm guessing they believe this comes down to two options: Syd jumped/slipped and fell or she purposefully disappeared and doesn't want to be found. The reward is just an attempt to get someone to talk, if she indeed is hiding in plain sight. I pray for her parents.
 
amethystcrystal said:
Yeah, I’ve started taking some courses part of a continuing education program at UC Berkeley and some of the courses can be very intensive and time consuming. For someone struggling with depression it can definitely be difficult to concentrate or have the energy for a heavy work load or meet tight deadlines. So I can definitely understand why she might have needed to take time off if it was too much. If there were additional expectations/pressure on her that definitely could’ve made withdrawing more difficult.
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Good for you, and the best of luck to you!
 
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