Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, age 11, commits suicide

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by SheWhoMustNotBeNamed, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. SheWhoMustNotBeNamed

    SheWhoMustNotBeNamed Former Member

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    11-Year-Old Hangs Himself after Enduring Daily Anti-Gay Bullying

    An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hanged himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother's weekly pleas to the school to address the problem. This is at least the fourth suicide of a middle-school aged child linked to bullying this year.

    Carl, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield who did not identify as gay, would have turned 12 on April 17, the same day hundreds of thousands of students will participate in the 13th annual National Day of Silence by taking some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) bullying and harassment at school. The other three known cases of suicide among middle-school students took place in Chatham, Evanston and Chicago, Ill., in the month of February.

    More: http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/news/record/2400.html

    RIP Carl
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Boyz_Mum

    Boyz_Mum New Member

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    Carl's story is so sad, he was an adorable boy (pic in article). May he rest in peace and my prayers are with his family.
     
  4. Kat

    Kat Kind words do not cost much

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    RIP Carl. I saw Carl's Mother on HLN and she gave an interview. I am sending hugs and prayers out to his Momma, bless her and hold her close angels.
     
  5. txsvicki

    txsvicki New Member

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    I hope Carl's mother is able to get justice even if it is through several lawsuits. The school should answer why they didn't transfer the boy and pay for his transportation. After the initial bullying, the other kids wouldn't forget even if they were severely punished. Carl needed out of that horrible abusive school.
     
  6. travelgal

    travelgal New Member

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    Carl's death is so very sad! Something needs to be done about the bully's in this nation's schools. Bullys have long been a part of growing up but we are faced with a different type of "bullying" that can not be compared to the fist fights, extorting lunch money, etc. When are the parents and schools going to wake up?? How many precious lives must be lost to suicide or school massacres?? IMHO, todays so called bully's may have parents that berate the baseball, soccer, etc. coaches and encourage their kids to put down the "weak". It must be dealt with as a national crisis right away!

    RIP Carl and God Bless You and your loved ones! :rose:
     
  7. Bobbisangel

    Bobbisangel New Member

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    What a handsome boy he was. I can't even visualize the bullys calling this boy gay, etc. It looks like he was into sports and played football. Why do the teachers never do anything to the school bullys? They turn their heads and act like they haven't a clue about what is going on. Even if they had moved this boy to another school the bullys still needed taken to the cleaners. It's horrible when it affects a child to the extreme that they don't want to live any longer.

    When my kids were in school I told them to never make fun of another child. It can do damage that stays with them for the rest of their lives. If I had been contacted by a teacher or the principal and told that my child was doing something like this the child would have regreted that he/she ever intertained the thought. You just never hurt someone on purpose and I can't stand bullys.

    My heart goes out to this boy's mom and family. To lose your child because of the hurt he suffered in school is just horrible. I hope the mom sues everyone that could have made a difference. I would also be finding out the names of the bullys.
     
  8. lizzybeth

    lizzybeth New Member

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    It broke my heart when I heard about this young man. Bobbisangel, I don't think the other kids thought Carl was gay either (although gay girls and boys do play sports). Calling him gay was just a way to hurt him. At that age kids don't want to be different.

    His mother did everything she could to get help for him, except keeping him home from school. She trusted the school system to do something about it and they let her and Carl down. I think something should be done (civil suit). Unfortunately, I think there will be some kids that were involved in the bullying that will think nothing of what they have done. Some even might laugh about it. Kids are cruel. Why? Because there parents don't take the time to teach them that you don't make fun of another person's differences. You respect each other and treat other kids the way that you would want to be treated.

    I was bullied (to a much lesser extent) right on through high school because I was shy and sickly. I remember a girl in high school making fun of my hair because it had just came back after chemo. She used to take a straight pin and stick it in me as she walked up the stairs behind me. I was too scared to say anything. Carl was brave, he did tell, and the faculty knew who was doing it, yet they did nothing.

    I wish there was a way to bring him back; send him to another school. He seems like the type of child that would have grown up to do good things.

    R. I. P. Carl and I will pray for your mother. To give her strength to seek justice for what happened to you. I got the feeling that Carl's mother had a strong sense of faith and I hope that helps her get through, and lets her know that Carl is in a better place and she will see him again.

    Sorry, for going on so long.
     
  9. travelgal

    travelgal New Member

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    Here is the link to an interesting article by Diane Dimond.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-dimond/todays-bullies---tomorrow_b_120765.html

    I think one of the aspects of this tragedy that tears at my heart is Carl's mother did all of the right things by contacting the school officials. According to her HLN interview she said the school officials told Carl & the bullys to "work it out". There is a lot more to this story I suspect. I worked in the public school system for 20 years and I KNOW that it doesn't take long for every teacher & staff member to know what is going on on the playground, etc. It is talked about in the teacher's lounge. Someone dropped the ball in this case and Carl must have felt he had no where else to turn. Just breaks my heart. Carl's mother also noted in her HLN interview that she and Carl had faced many
    challenges and always worked through it. So sad that it didn't happen in this situation.
     
  10. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    This is sickening! Why didn't the school address this poor mother's complaints???

    this should have NEVER HAPPENED!
     
  11. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    Bless this boy's heart.

    This bullicide scares me to death. I have been following This case click here Please read about Eric Mohat; it is another heartbreaker.
    snippets:
    Eric Mohat, 17, was harassed so mercilessly in high school that when one bully said publicly in class, "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you," he did

    snip
    Now his parents, William and Janis Mohat of Mentor, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit
    snip
    The parents aren't seeking any compensation; rather, they are asking that Mentor High School recognize their son's death as a "bullicide" and put in place what they believe is a badly needed anti-bullying program.

    snip
    Parents Say Three Other Students Killed Themselves
    The Mohats also claim that bullying was a "significant factor" in the deaths of three other students in Eric Mohat's class in 2007.
    Mentor high school officials confirmed that a girl and two other boys in Eric's class had killed themselves in 2007.
     
  12. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

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    Bullying among children is ages old. School children can be exceptionally cruel to one another.

    My youngest sister had a terrible time in school for many years (4th - 10th grade) as one of the least popular and constantly picked on kids in her class. At the end of her 10th grade year, she told my parents she wanted to finish up high school at another school. It was a terrific decision, and her last two years were happy ones for her. Today, at age 30, she has no negative residual effects from that period of her life - which was brutal. I don't know why some kids live through it and others don't.

    I know around here, all the schools take it very seriously - there are policies and it is talked about openly and dealt with. I will say that if my child were being bullied and the school wasn't addressing the issue, I would take my child out of the school and homeschool him if I could not afford to send him elsewhere. Perhaps that's not an option for everyone and surely some kids probably wouldn't tell their parents how bad it was, but I would not knowingly send my child into the lion's den over and over again and expect the school to handle it.

    My prayers for this sweet boy and his family.
     
  13. passionflower

    passionflower Just 1 tip to find a killer

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    Personally I worry daily about this, I have a high functioning autistic grandson.
    He is so smart in certain areas, but not with jokes or other children.
    He is taunted daily by kids calling him 'nerd', 'jerk','wierd', 'odd'...............
    the teachers know, the school knows, the doctors know.............
    we read, study and talk to him and nothing seems to be done about it.
    He would take it very seriously if someone said 'no one will miss you, go kill yourself'
    We are considering home schooling or computer school because of the bullies.
    We honestly thought public school would help him socially, but it seems to not be the case.
     
  14. travelgal

    travelgal New Member

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    I can truly relate to your fears & concerns passionflower and my heart goes out to you and your grandson. My oldest son is deaf and was a "mainstream student" in public schools. He had many hecklers and bullies in school during the 70's & 80's. Fortunately, for him he was big, strong, good looking and played football & other sports. He pounded the tar out of some kids and the girls adored him and the bullies backed off. However, just when we thought his life was going well his speech teacher told us he was talking to her about suicide. He was a freshman in h.s. and doing well in school & sports. BUT, he didn't feel like he fit in. Well, we got help for him and our family and I am relieved to say that he is now 42 yrs old, happily married with a family. I often think - what if he had not confided in his teacher that he felt inferior to all of the other kids. He became a counselor at a deaf school following graduation from college and he was so helpful to many of the kids facing ridicule when they went out in public.
    I pray for you and your grandson, passionflower, that he will have the people in his life to help him find his way. :blowkiss: for your grandson and :blowkiss: for you!
     
  15. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    OH yes indeed bullying is ages old SCM. I wonder what the stats are on suicides back in the day. Do today's kids lack coping skills due to the difference in society? or were there just as many suicides before we knew about them with the internet?

    Either which way it is an absolute tragedy.

    The schools have got to address it which will be difficult, because these changes seem to swing the pendulum to the entire other extreme and kids will be in trouble for saying anything that could have the slightest possibility of being construed as bullying. With that comes the public outcry like when the boy was expelled for having the lego gun after all the adjustments from Columbine. Finding the balance does not come easily.

    It is a slippery slope, but bullying cannot be ignored and bless these poor kids. I have a particularly sad spot in my heart for the ones that reached out to adults and still were not saved.
     
  16. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

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    I am with you on all of this, JBean.

    Here is the GA Code on Bullying and the Prevention Intervention link they use in one of our county's middle schools http://www.cobbk12.org/~preventionintervention/bully_prevention_resources.htm. They take it very seriously and I would hope all schools do. But you are right that there needs to be balance.
     
  17. Jack

    Jack New Member

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    I'm stunned. I am just so sad and stunned by this. This boy should have been having the time of his life, not enduring dispair daily at the hands of other children. I'm sorry, I know schools can't control everything but his school should have stepped up to help this child. And to think he was one of four kids who felt tormented enough to take his own life this year. Its heartbreaking, it really is.

    How can the person's responsible for the torment, and those responsible for not stopping it, live with themselves? I wish I knew who they were because I would tell them how dispicable their actions were. :furious: I hope someone does, and I hope they are punished harshly because I think they and their parents need to live with the consequences of their actions even if they are just children. Maybe if they are forced to feel shame for what they did they might grow into adults who don't bully.
     
  18. laini

    laini cemetery walker

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    This is so sad. My heart goes out to Carl and his mother. I hope the kids who bullied him are left permanently changed by the outcome of their acts. Maybe they will come to do good when they are older like work to stop bullying.

    I have posted this before, but want to share it again. My son was bullied or picked on in FIRST GRADE on the bus. ONe kid would put him in a headlock and then pick something up off the floor of the bus and push it in his mouth. It broke my heart. My son is sweet and not confrontational.

    My husband and I are believers in helping our kids handle things themselves WITH OUR GUIDANCE as much as possible but not going and solving them for him. We gave him suggestions on wabht to do about this kid. I sent notes to teh bus driver. She would move my son instead of the bullies, then the next day put my son back with them. I finally met with the principal. Our school boasts No Hands On and Character Counts, etc.... Her response was "I know that boy (the one who did a headlock) and he's not a bully". WTF!? The bus driver was in teh meeting and said my son is the type of child who is sweet and kind of draws this type of stuff onto him!! That makes it okay??? That's why bullies pick on those types!!! Please! He hasn't taken the bus since. There haven't really been problems since, but if there were and the school wouldn't help, I would pull him out or transfer.
     
  19. Gracenote

    Gracenote We know that all things work together for good for

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    I can't believe those administrators and their stupidity. I am glad your son has you to back him up. When my mother called the school because I was being tormented daily she was told "Oh, well, an overweight child will always be picked on." I can't tell you how often I contemplated suicide at the thought of having to go to school the next day. Instead I ended up in the hospital with bleeding ulcers. I think bullying should be considered assault and bullies should be taken in front of a tribunal and dealt with. It is a brutal thing to do to a child. I still get upset thinking about it and it has been 30 years.
     
  20. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    (((((((((gracenote)))))))))) I'm so glad you didn't. :blowkiss:
     
  21. txsvicki

    txsvicki New Member

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    I can't imagine any adult or teacher putting up with working for most of their day with others who called them fat or bullied them. Adults wouldn't be able to tolerate that daily but some children are expected to. Once children start school they spend the majority of their lives there and with all those people for years. It should be a learning experience and not a lesson in sadism.
     

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