CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #6

[SCHMAE]

Evidently Mark was not able to see his lawyer the same day he picked up Dylan, but went ahead and made appointment for the morning after Dylan arrived. It must have been important to go and not be around on Dylan's first day there. I do wonder also if Mark was aware before Dylan got there that he was making plans to spend with his friends the first day in town. I wonder if Mark had anything to do with Dylan changing that he would meet his friends the next morning.

I've wondered about this quite a bit. All I can come up with is some
paperwork regarding the new visitation schedule. Perhaps MR and ATTY
were concerned Dylan's mom would not actually put him on the plane.
Maybe they thought I'll believe it when I see it. So once he actually
arrived and had him in his physical custody, he needed to go sign
something or ,,, PAY him . Perhaps there was an amount due and MR
thought well I'll just pay that bill IF I actually get to visit my son !
Speculations !

 

[bdawk20]

Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me.

Often times kids that age just plain don't want to go visit anyone. They'd rather stay him wand play Playstation or hang with their friends or whatever the case may be. My parents are not divorced so I can't speak to custody and visitation, but I can remember being that age and having to go with my parents to visit family members and being totally bent out of shape. Perfectly nice family members that I loved, but at 13 I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Nonetheless my parents would make me go.
Maybe Dylan's friends at his new house had plans to do something that week he didn't want to miss or whatever, but as a parent you would think visiting family is more important.

Jmo

 

[mmmagique]

What point? To totally disregard my child's feelings?

To be fair, often the non-custodial parent is left out in the cold, and spoken of quite poorly by the custodial parent. It can lead to alienation, and the child(ren) not wanting to visit the ncp.

Just because a child doesn't want to visit an ncp, doesn't mean they shouldn't have to (imo) unless it's someone people should have serious reservations about such as Susan Powell's husband.

Unless you can prove to a court that it would be harmful to the child(ren) to make them visit the ncp, they really need to go, and try to foster that relationship.

I am speaking in general, and not of this particular case, because frankly, I don't have enough knowledge of their family dynamics.

 

[Bravo]

Please noone think I am blaming mom for ANYthing she has said or done....I would LITERALLY go crazy....I was just saying that if she does know her ex to be violent perhaps pointing the finger at him would not be the best thing to do when she needs EVERY bit of info she can get regarding Dylan....if these statements were made right away, then that is different,,,,IMO, however, IMO if she had a few days to think about it, I found it a little odd that she would blatantly in public say those things....to LE in private, to friend and others in private...defintely.
I do not think the mom is vindictive at all....have no idea..I do not know her....so this is all based on what I have seen, read and heard! Okay pretty sure I have beat that to death...

I totally hear ya. Mom's quick silence makes me wonder if LE advised her it best to tell them and not the public.

 

[momrids6]

I am just dumbfounded that there seems to be this automatic assumption with some that the only reason ER would've blamed MR for doing something is because she's a woman and "vindictive".

If any of my kids went missing under my husband's watch, I would definitely blame him for not watching them close enough. Why? Because he DOESN'T watch them close enough! It's not me being mean or vindictive, it's because it wouldn't be the first time something happened when I left him to watch them!

BBM
IMO- there is a world of difference between blaming for lack of supervision and accusing one of
doing something to him

 

[Camdenres]

I would like to know what the friends he was going to see have had to say...do we know?

 

[Marilynilpa]

Someone mentioned on the previous thread about getting Equusearch involved in looking for Dylan. Does anyone know if this has been done? I haven't seen any MSM reference to it, but it's possible I missed something.

Also, the CUE Center for Missing Persons is a phenomenal organization, and they could provide assistance in locating Dylan. They provide many free services.

I hope Dylan's family has been made aware of these resources.

I read yesterday that 2000 children go missing every day in the U.S. I hope that at least one of these missing children, Dylan, will be found and returned to his loved ones.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Often times kids that age just plain don't want to go visit anyone. They'd rather stay him wand play Playstation or hang with their friends or whatever the case may be. My parents are not divorced so I can't speak to custody and visitation, but I can remember being that age and having to go with my parents to visit family members and being totally bent out of shape. Perfectly nice family members that I loved, but at 13 I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Nonetheless my parents would make me go.
Maybe Dylan's friends at his new house had plans to do something that week he didn't want to miss or whatever, but as a parent you would think visiting family is more important.

Jmo

I think the parent that has a great relationship with their child is able to negotiate, plan and respect each other.

 

[Ronso]

BBM
IMO- there is a world of difference between blaming for lack of supervision and
doing something to him

But we don't know if there is a valid reason for her to believe so. Nobody knows.

 

[Lins1983]

You can set the amount of posts you want to show up on a page to a different amount. I have mine set to 100. Makes for more scrolling but lots lets pages to flip through.

Plz plz tell me how!! TIA

 

[scorekeeper]

What point? To totally disregard my child's feelings?

i was responding to Elley Mae''s post....not your post

Originally Posted by Elley Mae
Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me

**but to further explain - to make a point to the ex-spouse of the relationship

Sorry.....

 

[mmmagique]

Plz plz tell me how!! TIA

Ok, this is just copied and pasted from the last time.

Go to "user CP" (It's a link on the upper left hand side of every page) Click "edit options" and scroll down until you see the option that says something like how many threads to a page. Then you click on the number you want to show up on a page. Fifty is probably more reasonable than 100, btw. *lol*

 

[katydid23]

It is weird... many things about this case are weird to me. I'm trying hard not to come to any conclusions, but sometimes it's hard.

Here's the weirdest thing to me, if there is no proof they stopped anywhere, if in fact they didn't stop anywhere, why did MR tell anyone that they did? He could easily have said, "Dylan was tired, I picked him up and we went straight home." That couldn't be verified either, but it's less strange (IMO) than "we stopped at a store to buy groceries" when you would know that the likelihood of running into someone who knows you would be great. Or that there would be video footage in a larger store like WalMart that would show you weren't there.

JMO, but if you "did" something to your child right after you picked him up at the airport, and you were trying to set up an alibi, why use something that should be able to be checked out, but can't be? And if they did indeed stop at a store, why hasn't someone in that small area come out and said they saw them?

Like many things about this case, it boggles my mind.

eta: Even if they did stop and didn't see anyone they knew, with the publicity surrounding his disappearance, why hasn't someone who didn't know them seen the news coverage and come forward to say they remember the man and his boy at the store?

It is also hard for me to believe they didn't go through a drive thru or stop for a quick bite. I guess maybe they did so at the airport, but that's usually my last resort. But I have to imagine a 13 yr old boy was starving by 6:30, after a flight that was an hour late. SO WHERE DID THEY EAT?

 

[Bravo]

I would like to know what the friends he was going to see have had to say...do we know?

All we know. (It's in the timeline) When Dylan didn't show they tried his phone Monday. I would assume by text but thats never been confirmed due to poor to no cell service. Dad has a landline but there has never been confirmation it was ever called by the boys. Dad showed up late aft. and the boys told him they had not seen Dylan. I'll go find the link.

 

[Linda7NJ]

i was responding to Elley Mae''s post....not your post

Originally Posted by Elley Mae
Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me

**but to further explain - to make a point to the ex-spouse of the relationship

Sorry.....

ahhh! no problem and no need to apologize!

 

[SCHMAE]

I would like to know what the friends he was going to see have had to say...do we know?

Not that I've heard of and that is curious too.
Makes me wonder if LE didn't ask them to keep
it quiet for now. Or maybe their parents don't want
them speaking to press because of their age.
They're probably really afraid for their friend too.

 

[bdawk20]

I think the parent that has a great relationship with their child is able to negotiate, plan and respect each other.

Sure, but even parents that have great relationships with their children have to deal with the bullheadedness of teenagers.

Jmo

 

[T4Tide]

Maybe they did stop for groceries. If Dylan chose to wait in the vehicle it does nothing to prove or disprove Dads account.

I was going to say the same. My almost 13 year old likes and asks to stay in the car while I run inside, and I think he's plenty old enough to do so.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Sure, but even parents that have great relationships with their children have to deal with the bullheadedness of teenagers.

Jmo

Bullheadedness? As the mother of a 14 yr old boy, I do not know what you're talking about!

Rofl!

I had a hard time typing that without laughing out loud

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me.

You know we really only have the words of his mom to go on which I take with a whole boatload of salt. How do we really know that he didnt want to go visit his dad? Many children unfortunately get caught up in their parents drama and will pretend to not like the other parent trying to appease the other parent especially if that parent is against the father. I have seen it happen many times and it is heartbreaking how one parent or the other one will use their children as tools to get back at an ex. From the ones I have seen in my long lifetime most of the time it was the mom trying to drive a wedge between the child or children and their father. Especially if she was the one that left the father and has gone on to someone else and is wanting the children to accept the 'new man' as their dad.

It makes no sense to me that Dylan didnt want to go visit his father. This is the place he grew up almost all of his life. This is the place where he first forged long lasting friendships and still has them. He has family there and most likely young cousins like himself from both his mom's side and dad's.

So Im not sure I believe all that is being said about that.

IMO