Connecticut school district on lockdown after shooting report at a Newtown elemen #7

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Every agent in our office observed the moment of silence, with the bells from Newtown on TV, ringing in the background. I am the only female in the office. I was struck by the emotion on the faces of these other agents. Grateful to see.
 
A paucity of new articles thus far this morning so this one's a re-run from several days ago. Comes down on neither side of a key issue here; it's more of a history of how we think about it came to be.

Adam Lanza: the medicalisation of evil (Lindsey Fitzharris, medical historian, Queen Mary, University of London, in The Guardian)
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As time progresses, we will learn more and more about the man who is responsible for the terrible slaying of so many innocent people. Undoubtedly, there will be further discussions about his alleged mental state. Was he a lonely individual? Did he show signs of depression? Was he autistic? What antisocial behaviours did he exhibit?

An answer "yes" to any one of those questions obviously does not make a person homicidal. While I do believe it is important to determine what factors may have led Lanza to open fire on Sandy Hook Elementary School – and whether this tragic event could have been prevented – I want to remind the US and the world of one thing: evil is about choice. Sickness is about the absence of choice.
the rest at the link
 
I just can't see a mom locking her adult son in a basement for a day or up to a week or more. Did he say okay Mom, see you when you get back and or did he not even care? There's a lot to be revealed I hope.

Btw, I did have an employee tell me he had been chained in his closet at age 15 for a long long time. I met him at age 20 when he became an employee at my work & I was his boss, he told me about his life one day around Christmas time in the early 90's. He told me of his rage too if he ever saw his family again. I moved away and haven't talked to him in years. Good kid/guy but I saw his rage when talking about his parents and his torture.

I truely hope there nothing like this that occurred. I think it's more of an abandonment issue possibly. I don't want to ever think NL was neglecting him as I see her as a loving mother. I hope that stays the same when all is told.

Adam appeared to be a high functioning Aspergers. E.g., he knew how to drive a car to the school.

I agree, I don't see the mom locking him in the basement. For what purpose? According to reports, he was into computers and playing video games when alone. Why the need to lock him somewhere?

Also according to reports, the mom pre-cooked meals for him which he would then heat up. This doesn't sound like a mom that would neglect her child. I think when she went on mini-vacations which by definition means very short trips of 2-3 days, she made sure he was well-fed and gave him freedom to do things on his own. Apparently she had taught him to drive, as again he drove himself to the school.

Honestly I think the mom did the best she could given his limitations. The only thing I may fault the mom is that she did not appear to have engaged or allow mental health professionals to help in caring for Adam. While I understand how difficult it is for a high end autistic child to interact with people, she should have foreseen that by limiting his interactions to only her, she was doing him a long-term disservice -- making him solely dependent on her for support, comfort, etc.

My view is that she finally realized that she was unable to meet all his needs now that he is a full-grown 20-year-old unable to work and support himself so she told him she had to send him off to a special "school" (euphemism for long-term residential mental health facility, IMO) and he resented that. To Adam, that likely felt like another family member abandoning him -- just as his own father and brother did. Again, since the mom was the sole provider and caretaker for Adam, he placed all his blame, anger and rage on her.

As to why he decided to shoot the elementary school children, IDK. I think it may be that he was making a social statement -- that even if you're innocent and think you are safe, there are evil forces at play in the world that can and will harm and hurt you, as it did him (Adam). Maybe he was trying to make the world understand his POV.
 
Few Memorials To Forgotten Victim: Gunman's Mother (AP/Hartford Courant)
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A private funeral was held Thursday in New Hampshire for Nancy Lanza, according to Donald Briggs, the police chief in Kinston, N.H., where her funeral was held. About 25 family members attended the ceremony.
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"Others now share pain for choices you faced alone; May the blameless among us throw the first stone," it reads in part.
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No one outwardly blames Nancy Lanza for the rampage. But authorities have said the gunman, her 20-year-old son Adam, used the guns she kept at their home to carry out a massacre that became the second-deadliest school shooting in U.S. history and has stirred lawmakers to call for gun control laws.

The dearth of tributes to Nancy Lanza underscores the complicated mix of emotions surrounding her after the shooting.
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the rest at the link
 
when I heard AL shot his mom's face 4 times.......all I could think of was the Menendez brothers.
 
In tiny Texas town, teachers are armed with concealed weapons, a 'better' solution than a security guard

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...-texas-school-article-1.1224257#ixzz2Fg0qH1Jq

This isn't aimed at you, gngr...

But am I the only one who doesn't keep a loaded gun (we have three unloaded shotguns my husband uses strictly for hunting) in my house because of my children?

Am I the only one who would absolutely REFUSE to send my children to a school where faculty is "packing heat"?
 
From your link to article, there is not a picture that goes with it, where did that pic come from? and it is photo shopped, look at the big square around her drink and hand, a poor job at that.

TIA

Still catching up from overnight, so forgive me if this has been addressed. The square is not due to photoshopping, the square is where the photo credits and copyright were inserted. The lettering in the square is highly visible in most copies of the photo, for some reason, not so much in this one. It's just a text box.
 
These threads move so fast, I just watched AC video memorial of all the victims. What a sweet man, he really had trouble speaking of these little angels. Our 8 year old G-son spent this last week with us, we took him home last night, he was here for only a week I already notice the quiet, I keep waiting for him to wake up and come kiss me good morning, my heart breaks for these families! How deep is the evil inside someone who could destroy a child, I'll never understand it!
 
It's been said mom was a drinker, correct? Do we know if she was simply a social drinker or did she have a problem?

That boy just does not look right to me, his pic screams FASD
 
As a parent of special needs teen, I can tell you that there is a tightrope we all walk when trying to decide what to disclose and what to keep private about the struggles the child faces and that the family faces. I have been faulted at times by well-meaning friends and family for being too open about my daughter's issues. But I know from trying to do it the other way that not to speak is to become isolated. When behavioral problems are intense or unpredictable, you stop inviting people to your home. You carefully limit going out with your child in public to those times when you can be assured of behavior that passes for "normal". You start to deceive yourself about what normal behavior really is. You develop tunnel vision and therefore may miss signs of serious trouble ahead.

I fear that NL may have lived this kind of life, protecting her son from judgment by others by isolating both of them from observation and by not talking frankly or deeply to people who considered themselves her real friends about what exactly was happening to her son. Like most parents, she may have done this out of love but in so doing she missed the reality check that she might have gotten from talking things over with a sympathetic adult. If she was indeed talking about a "college" to friends but privately planning for institutionalization (and we do not know yet that this was the case), she was walking a very lonely road by herself. She may have thought she had things under better control than she really did.

This is one of the great harms that the stigma we as a society attach to developmental disabilities and mental disorders. The shame that leads to silence does harm to all of us.
 
I have social anxiety ... Growing up it was always said that I was just very shy. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older . The reason I am saying this is because what some/ most people see as strange makes perfect sense to me.

I do not like people over at my house .. Not even family . I have been here two years and have only had others ( family ) inside twice. My house is not dirty and I have nothing to hide...my home is my safe place .. I can be myself without worrying what to say - did I say the wrong thing - they must think I am odd..why are they looking at me like that ...My husband and daughter don't have people over for me - they go out and it seems his mom may have done the same for this coward.
I work from home and I only leave my house once a week to have dinner at my grandparents . I know when my neighbors won't be outside - that is when I take my dogs out . Knowing I might have to say hello makes me so nervous. My husband does the shopping - I make the list. If I do go... I go with him.. Never alone . I don't want any "small talk" from the cashier . When I am put in the situation that most seem as the normal " hello how are you" I forget what I am saying - even though I know all I need to say is " fine , how are you? " .. My heart starts to race , I forget the simple answer and am only thinking about what they must be thinking having this weird little person freeze and stumble over words....
From what I have read she seemed like am amazing person who only wanted to help her son . She is also a victim ... IMO he was just evil ... A evil coward.
MOO....
 
Respectfully-I agree with everything stated above except the very very last sentence.
I believe everything points to his cognitive and behavioral handicaps. n JMO-we will definitely find out that he had "mental even physiological handicaps" I think " Asbergers Syndrome ( or what ever they said) was a handy catch all - euphemism. Even if they were able to appear to mediate his activities in some ways. He may have been improving. Is this relative? Don't suicides often appear to improve when they have decided and making a " plan" ?I think the files will show that he had big-time issues. Obviously, Anyone who looks into their mother's face and shoots her head off -must be mentally handicapped. No?[/QUOTE]

BBM

Sadly, no, I do not believe that everyone that murders a loved one is mentally handicapped. In fact less that 2% of the murderers who commit crimes like this are truly mentally ill.

I think he used his Aspergers and intelligence as a tool to control his mother. He pulled the silent treatment when it behooved him to do so to get his way and to try and control his mom and make her worry. imo. I dont think this was done because of mental illness. This to me is going to be another case of a person being in a rage and revengeful about something they didnt like.

There seemed to be nothing wrong with his cognitive thinking. He was able to be self sufficient.......dancing in front of others.....going to the store...driving a car.... ace-ing college courses at 16...working on other people's computers for pay. Now of course he had quirks...like not liking someone to touch him. I have read on here that other posters are also like that....not me though......I am a very touchy feely person. lol

IMO

This really raises interesting issues as they pertain to my job Re: cognitive dysfunctions v. Mental Illness.

IMHO they aren't necessarily subsets nor are they exclusive.
All people with cognitive disconnects are not mentally ill, and mentally ill people do not all have cognitive disabilities. Nor are all criminals mentally ill, or cognitively disabled. I could probably argue that they all do but..)The fact that he could focus on one or more areas ( like computers- Guns) is not evidence that he was or was not able. If- He did not learn how to drive until recently and he was not supposed to use the stove. - at 20! ? You would think- that one would deduce that if someone shouldn't use a stove - they shouldn't have access to weapons. Maybe she had cognitive disabilities.

Always, all , and and never are really dangerous when teaching and assessing students. I have taught hundreds of students. ( I have been threatened by students and parents personally) I have heard and read a few reports about AL and from what I can infer is that he did have learning, processing issues that were observed and shared and documented.

We are quick to run to the MD to cure a rash, or get an antibiotic for pneumonia- yet we are in the dark ages as far as our ability to be honest and treat and admit all of our psychological and learning differences.

Cognitive psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cognitive psychology is a subdiscipline of psychology exploring internal mental processes. It is the study of how people perceive, remember, think, speak, and solve problems.[1]

Ironically one of the most famous ( and some say haunted) institutions in CT was located in the very same town. ( you can search fairfield hills in Botsford, Newtown CT) ( something else for fellow WS ers)

Praying for the babies and teachers in SandyHook
Please join me in prayers for the families, and the first responders, who have been so dearly touched by this tragedy.
 
Still catching up from overnight, so forgive me if this has been addressed. The square is not due to photoshopping, the square is where the photo credits and copyright were inserted. The lettering in the square is highly visible in most copies of the photo, for some reason, not so much in this one. It's just a text box.

Any editing of a photo for whatever reason is photo manipulation, still photoshopping.
to alter (a digital photograph or other image), using an image editing


I use Fireworks myself but Photoshop is the word, it does not mean literally adding different people to a scene.

Any alteration of a photo, using a photo editing program, even removing red-eye or a time date stamp is considered photoshopping


I did not know my choice of word was going to be scrutinized but still I was correct in my usage.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/photoshop

However my main objection was, was that photo did not exist in that article nor did any photo exist in said article, If I wrote the article I would take offense to someone inserting a photo of their choice to my story, especially one that was photoshopped.
 
As a parent of special needs teen, I can tell you that there is a tightrope we all walk when trying to decide what to disclose and what to keep private about the struggles the child faces and that the family faces. I have been faulted at times by well-meaning friends and family for being too open about my daughter's issues. But I know from trying to do it the other way that not to speak is to become isolated. When behavioral problems are intense or unpredictable, you stop inviting people to your home. You carefully limit going out with your child in public to those times when you can be assured of behavior that passes for "normal". You start to deceive yourself about what normal behavior really is. You develop tunnel vision and therefore may miss signs of serious trouble ahead.

I fear that NL may have lived this kind of life, protecting her son from judgment by others by isolating both of them from observation and by not talking frankly or deeply to people who considered themselves her real friends about what exactly was happening to her son. Like most parents, she may have done this out of love but in so doing she missed the reality check that she might have gotten from talking things over with a sympathetic adult. If she was indeed talking about a "college" to friends but privately planning for institutionalization (and we do not know yet that this was the case), she was walking a very lonely road by herself. She may have thought she had things under better control than she really did.

This is one of the great harms that the stigma we as a society attach to developmental disabilities and mental disorders. The shame that leads to silence does harm to all of us.

Thanks for your candor. I can only imagine how lonely and afraid both Adam and his mom were. The social stigma must have only added to their pain.

I think Nancy Lanza felt she had everything under control. Unfortunately she was mistaken. She appeared to be a very independent, self-sufficient person. I just wish she had asked others to step in and help.

From all accounts, when Adam was young, he played with other children, albeit he may have been quiet and didn't often make eye contact...Yet we're told he also cracked jokes when he felt comfortable, at the college where he took courses as an adult. So I wonder at what point did it start going wrong for him? Was it when his parents got divorced?
 
As a parent of special needs teen, I can tell you that there is a tightrope we all walk when trying to decide what to disclose and what to keep private about the struggles the child faces and that the family faces. I have been faulted at times by well-meaning friends and family for being too open about my daughter's issues. But I know from trying to do it the other way that not to speak is to become isolated. When behavioral problems are intense or unpredictable, you stop inviting people to your home. You carefully limit going out with your child in public to those times when you can be assured of behavior that passes for "normal". You start to deceive yourself about what normal behavior really is. You develop tunnel vision and therefore may miss signs of serious trouble ahead.

I fear that NL may have lived this kind of life, protecting her son from judgment by others by isolating both of them from observation and by not talking frankly or deeply to people who considered themselves her real friends about what exactly was happening to her son. Like most parents, she may have done this out of love but in so doing she missed the reality check that she might have gotten from talking things over with a sympathetic adult. If she was indeed talking about a "college" to friends but privately planning for institutionalization (and we do not know yet that this was the case), she was walking a very lonely road by herself. She may have thought she had things under better control than she really did.

This is one of the great harms that the stigma we as a society attach to developmental disabilities and mental disorders. The shame that leads to silence does harm to all of us.

xox to you Thank you for sharing your story with us. I teach at a college ( inner city Junior college) and students at the college all over the USA ( also at all SUMMER CAMPS )do not need to disclose a thing. Yet if they did they could be entitled to much much more academic help. I have pleaded with students who would not SELF identify.

Bless you
 
It's been said mom was a drinker, correct? Do we know if she was simply a social drinker or did she have a problem?

That boy just does not look right to me, his pic screams FASD

What's odd is that in the more recent pictures he does not look mentally or physically well. Really skinny, bulging eyes, sunken in cheeks, and the odd long face. However, in his second grade pic, he looks like a normal, happy, healthy, second grader with none of the physical signs of something being badly wrong.
 
I have social anxiety ... Growing up it was always said that I was just very shy. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older . The reason I am saying this is because what some/ most people see as strange makes perfect sense to me.

I do not like people over at my house .. Not even family . I have been here two years and have only had others ( family ) inside twice. My house is not dirty and I have nothing to hide...my home is my safe place .. I can be myself without worrying what to say - did I say the wrong thing - they must think I am odd..why are they looking at me like that ...My husband and daughter don't have people over for me - they go out and it seems his mom may have done the same for this coward.
I work from home and I only leave my house once a week to have dinner at my grandparents . I know when my neighbors won't be outside - that is when I take my dogs out . Knowing I might have to say hello makes me so nervous. My husband does the shopping - I make the list. If I do go... I go with him.. Never alone . I don't want any "small talk" from the cashier . When I am put in the situation that most seem as the normal " hello how are you" I forget what I am saying - even though I know all I need to say is " fine , how are you? " .. My heart starts to race , I forget the simple answer and am only thinking about what they must be thinking having this weird little person freeze and stumble over words....
From what I have read she seemed like am amazing person who only wanted to help her son . She is also a victim ... IMO he was just evil ... A evil coward.
MOO....

I agree that the mom sounds like an amazing person who tried to help her son as best she could. She should not have been alone in her endeavors though. There comes a point when parents have to realize that they cannot always be there for their children. That is why we as parents try to teach skills and coping mechanisms for our children, so they can learn to be independent, free thinking, functional adults in society.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being by yourself, or wanting to be alone, or doing things on your own -- as long as you (generic you not directing it at you Stephanie) also recognize that there will be times when human interactions with other people are necessary. No man is an island. Adam needed to be taught that as a child and onward as he aged.

For example, the hairstylist said Adam stopped going to get his haircut at his shop 3 years ago. Why? Since the mom had the financial resources, she could have set up a structure whereby the hairstylist came monthly to their home to cut Adam's hair. (Sometimes I arrange for my personal hairstylist to come to my home for haircolor and keratin treatments so I know this can be done). She could have gradually desensitized him to the anxiety of having someone cut his hair by having the stylist cut Adam's hair in the comfort of Adam's home. Step-by-step even autistic children can learn to adapt.

How do I know? Because I had volunteered at an autistic nursery. Autistic children need structure, but with gradual incremental steps and constant reminders, they too, can learn to adapt to new "structures".

By building up Adam's structural system, Adam might have been able to survive and function without the constant companionship of his mom. Perhaps he wouldn't have felt so threatened when she went on mini-vacations and had told him he will be sent to a new school, etc. Perhaps he would have felt empowered with the freedom instead of feeling abandoned, alone and terrified. I think his explosion and shooting rampage were a reaction to his uncontrollable fears. JMO
 
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