Emotional Toll

[Juno]

Me and myself have a deal. No crying until they are found. Then it's wine time, and it's both a celebration of them and a time to just let go. This one is HARD.

It's too late, I tried teh... I cried today.

:frown:

 

[tlcya]

I just wanted to give everyone a huge, huge hug that's followed this case. I am going to go pick up my own 10 year old daughter from school and this weekend highlight her hair. She's been begging me for months and its something so small that will make her so happy. I feel blessed to have learned of Zahra's courageous spirit and very grateful to not have shed tears alone over such a tremendous loss to our world.

To all WSers, mods, and lurkers:grouphug:. Thank you.

aw hugs to you BritsKate. Enjoy your time with DD this weekend. I agree, it is such a small thing but will make her happy and the time spent with her making her hair pretty will be time you can thank your lucky stars you have her

 

[tlcya]

making a mental note to pick up wine this afternoon. Think I am going to need it to go along with my good hard cry tonite.

 

[FaerieB]

After intensely following Caylee and Hayleigh and Kyron and Ethan and Adji and Nevaeh and too many others to name, I would have believed I was ready for today. Ready to hear those words. Ready to be able to grieve for this sweet angel child.

But I'm not. I've been dreading those words since the case started, but most especially since the discovery of her prosthesis. My heart is heavy, and every second leading up to 4PM will be an eternity.

:hug: to all.

I just wish I could stop crying.

 

[NancyA]

aw hugs to you BritsKate. Enjoy your time with DD this weekend. I agree, it is such a small thing but will make her happy and the time spent with her making her hair pretty will be time you can thank your lucky stars you have her

And DD may not know it but she can thank her lucky stars she has a Mom like BritsKate.

That normal, happy Mom/Daughter scenario made me smile properly for the first time today.

 

[2goldfish]

After intensely following Caylee and Hayleigh and Kyron and Ethan and Adji and Nevaeh and too many others to name, I would have believed I was ready for today. Ready to hear those words. Ready to be able to grieve for this sweet angel child.

But I'm not. I've been dreading those words since the case started, but most especially since the discovery of her prosthesis. My heart is heavy, and every second leading up to 4PM will be an eternity.

:hug: to all.

I just wish I could stop crying.

^^^ all of that. me too.

:grouphug: for you all.

 

[Belinda]

I am just numb. It is so hard to accept the reality of these situations. My mind wants to scream that it can't be true, but it always is. We are losing too many children to horrible deaths at the hands of their parents. It has to stop. It just has to.

 

[Melanie]

Zahra is just special - her smile, her courage, the inquisitive tilt of her head as she was getting her hearing aid. Zahra is all things good. The Zahra's of the world give me hope.

ETA: I have had to step away for a few days now and again as it is wrecking havoc on my emotions - then come back and dig deeper. I will never understand the evil in the world - some people are plain and simple evil personified.

I, too, have had to step away now and again. Only to find myself waking up in the middle of the night thinking about her, wishing I had a million dollars to send an army of searchers out to find her. And you're right - Zahra is special, and it's a terrible loss to this world. I could see her growing up, becoming a nurse or a doctor -- helping those who helped her. She just seemed to have that spirit (or aura) about her.

Now I want justice for Zahra -- the fight is not over!

Hugs,

Mel

 

[Melanie]

making a mental note to pick up wine this afternoon. Think I am going to need it to go along with my good hard cry tonite.

Me too. Glad it's Friday though so I can sleep in. Just a reminder, if we're gonna have a cupper or 2, let's promise one another to keep our car keys out of sight and stay safe. I am also going to light a candle for Zahra tonight.

Hugs,

Mel

 

[tlcya]

agreed on the cupper, the keys, and the candle. I plan to burn buttercream as to me it smells like homemade birthday cake icing. My own nod to the birthday Z should have been celebrating this coming week.

 

[jwbear]

You are all so amazing. I've been lurking for a couple years, and have followed a few cases but I have to admit I've spent nearly all my "internet" time here the last few weeks for Zahra. My heart is breaking this morning, truly breaking. Thank you all, to everyone involved.

 

[ynotdivein]

"When you loved me, I gave you the whole sun and stars to play with. I gave you eternity in a single moment, strength of the mountains in one clasp of your arms, and the volume of all the seas in one impulse of your souls. A moment only; but was it not enough?"

A quote by George Bernard Shaw, to honor little Zahra...

(ETA the rest of the quote has some bearings too: http://books.google.com/books?id=0P_0tJCJlxMC&pg=PA133&lpg=PA133&dq=george+bernard+shaw+when+you+loved+me+i+gave+you+the+whole&source=bl&ots=ZYUtbupb5l&sig=zhwFusHPoOsXcphbld0sG2ssscU&hl=en&ei=FWfdTNaPFIOclgf53cjWDA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8&ved=0CEIQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q&f=false)

 

[Reannan]

making a mental note to pick up wine this afternoon. Think I am going to need it to go along with my good hard cry tonite.

That is exactly what I did last Friday!!! Sent my family away to a football game, and thought I would get it out of my system, but they returned and my husband just stared at me. He really doesn't understand why we do this. He is the most compassionate soul on the planet, but he doesn't understand. TL, know that you are not alone tonight.... ((((tlcox))))

 

[ynotdivein]

Bumping to encourage us all to remember... if today is hard on those of us who never knew Zahra, how much harder it is for ED who knew and loved her, and who apparently lost her, then found her and lost her again in such a very short time.

And how much harder this must be for LE and searchers who only came to know Zahra through the clues and whispers she left behind for them to find her.

Of all days, today let's honor Zahra by being extra kind to one another, extra forgiving of posters here and of everyone around us. From what we have learned of her, despite everything she experienced, Zahra kept smiling and being a light to others. We can do the same as a tribute to her.

:grouphug:

 

[tlcya]

I'll second that ynot, Please let's also remember not to take things personally or to heart. Often our raw emotional state makes us feel very vulnerable. Let's not allow that emotional state to cause us to take posts that are not meant that way as a personal attack.

It will be a long day and a long weekend here as we all process our feelings with the latest developments. Please all, post easy and read easy.

 

[teedie2]

Thank you ((((Reee)))) for starting this thread.

What an EMOTIONAL PULL little Zahra has had on me. I am sure most of you have heard of my own battle with childhood cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrances, the like....

It is HARD ENOUGH to survive cancer as a child let alone have to endure what she must have. I was lucky enough to have parents that supported me, held me like the fragile egg they thought I was ((((but let me tell you... childhood cancer survivors are HARD EGGS!!! TRUST ME I AM ONE)))) But to know that my parents and everyone else around me treated me as parboiled... that was fine with me. The support overwhelming. I still carry in my purse a piece of a prayer cloth that friends prayed over for me.

I am sick... absolutely SICK that Zahra will never get to exert the strength on the world that she would have gleaned from being a childhood cancer survivor. I am LIVID that someone... a HUMAN BEING (or multiple humans) took this life that she fought for. Her body defied her and she told it off... only to have her ultimate dignity and strength from that survival robbed from her by EVIL!

I will never ever forget this little girl and I want all of her found. Every bit and piece. She deserves AT LEAST THAT.

This is a beautiful post, Nurse, more so because it comes from a fellow survivor.

I think Zahara would have been heard from by the rest of the world had she been allowed to live. She would have achieved much. It's going to be hard to let go of her, but eventually we must.

 

[Belinda]

I think the sheer unfairness is what gets to me most. She had overcome so much and still had a beautiful outlook and personality. She was a gift to the world. How could she be gone before she had time to shine her light fully? Think of the sheer number of people she has brought together with her death. What could she have done in life? This will haunt me forever. Her face will never leave my memory.

I am grateful that LE didn't stop searching until they found her. She, at the very minimum, deserves a grand funeral and a lovely resting place. To not have found her would have been infinitely worse, but it still hurts. I am praying that Emily is allowed to take her precious daughter home once and for all. They must be reunited, even now. It is paramount.

 

[tlcya]

this day just sucks big ole honkin

Oh yeah, the above is MOO

here come the stupid tears again. Gonna go try and make myself get some chores attended to. I know darn well I won't be in any condition during or after the presser.

 

[the seeker]

Ugh. I feel deflated....although I knew she was dead, it is so final now. I will pray everday that justice comes to those who did this to her, that they get all they deserve. RIP Zahra....wish I could have known you.

 

[ella971]

Hugs to all of you and I'm just a crying mess.