NJ - Mallory Grossman, 12, committed suicide after cyberbullying, family sues school, Rockaway Twp., June 2017 *settled $9m*

[Laughing]

Parents settle with school district

Parents whose daughter died by suicide reach $9.1M settlement with school district, lawyer says

The parents of a girl who died by suicide at age 12 have reached a $9.1 million settlement in a wrongful-death lawsuit against the local school district, their lawyer says. Bruce Nagle, the attorney ...

www.yahoo.com

Unfortunately the $$$ will come from an insurance policy (and eventually taxpayers) and not the administrators & staff members supervising the children kicking Mallory's chair...imho.

Beautiful child, brave parents!

jmho ymmv lrr

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

Mallory Grossman was a bright, loving, kind little girl who committed suicide on June 14, 2017, several hours after her parents once again met with school administrators about the constant bullying she was facing every single day at school, on-line, at cheerleading, at choir practice. She was 12 years old. 12 years old... my heart breaks once again just thinking that.

This has been big news here in Morris County, New Jersey for the last year. Rockaway Township officials are absolutely disgraceful in the way this was handled. No parent should lose a child because the Adults in her school are afraid of the consequences if bad reports are filed with the State. The parents of the four girls who bullied Mallory should be named in the suit as well. The Grossman's did everything a parent is supposed to do, and yet no one listened, no one helped and they buried their daughter.

I get so choked up I can barely read her mom's posts on Facebook without the tears rolling down my face. I have to say I so admire Dianne Grossman for the way she has become such a spokesperson for anti-bullying. She has certainly made sure that her beloved Mallory did not die in vain.
#Mallory's Army.

Bullying Of Mallory Grossman, 12, Detailed In Wrongful Death Suit

From the link:

"During that three-hour meeting, Gonnella allegedly instructed Mallory to write her initials and the date on a poker chip, and asked her if she was "all in?" The lawsuit says Gonnella's actions during that meeting "irretrievably humiliated Mallory.""

What does that mean? I'm not sure what the poker chip was supposed to signify.

The school should absolutely be sued. It's almost a shame they settled because I think being exposed for their incompetence would have been a better outcome. IMO, even if Mallory hadn't taken her own life, the school's actions would have compounded the trauma. The message she allegedly got from the so-called educators who were supposed to look out for her physical and psychological safety was deplorable and it makes me wonder how many other kids grew up under similar conditions in that district (and I'm sure others) and how they're doing in their lives now.

JMO.

 

[PrairieWind]

From the link:

"During that three-hour meeting, Gonnella allegedly instructed Mallory to write her initials and the date on a poker chip, and asked her if she was "all in?" The lawsuit says Gonnella's actions during that meeting "irretrievably humiliated Mallory.""

What does that mean? I'm not sure what the poker chip was supposed to signify.

The school should absolutely be sued. It's almost a shame they settled because I think being exposed for their incompetence would have been a better outcome. IMO, even if Mallory hadn't taken her own life, the school's actions would have compounded the trauma. The message she allegedly got from the so-called educators who were supposed to look out for her physical and psychological safety was deplorable and it makes me wonder how many other kids grew up under similar conditions in that district (and I'm sure others) and how they're doing in their lives now.

JMO.

I don't understand what the poker chip was supposed to symbolize either. But sadly, none of this surprises me. There has been a LOT of push in education to address bullying and almost all districts have adopted one of several anti-bullying programs. But in my opinion, as a lawyer, as a parent, and spouse of a teacher, these programs are really designed to protect the school, not the student victim of the bullying. In a case like this, school administrators will almost always seek the path of least resistance. Where you have multiple kids picking on one, rather than upset many parents by punishing those students, it is just easier to move or silence the one victim. Teachers often see the problem and report up, but it goes no where.

 

[Charlot123]

From the link:

"During that three-hour meeting, Gonnella allegedly instructed Mallory to write her initials and the date on a poker chip, and asked her if she was "all in?" The lawsuit says Gonnella's actions during that meeting "irretrievably humiliated Mallory.""

What does that mean? I'm not sure what the poker chip was supposed to signify.

The school should absolutely be sued. It's almost a shame they settled because I think being exposed for their incompetence would have been a better outcome. IMO, even if Mallory hadn't taken her own life, the school's actions would have compounded the trauma. The message she allegedly got from the so-called educators who were supposed to look out for her physical and psychological safety was deplorable and it makes me wonder how many other kids grew up under similar conditions in that district (and I'm sure others) and how they're doing in their lives now.

JMO.

I think the parents of the kids bullying M have to be prosecuted too. They raised cyberbullies. These kids will go on having wonderful lives, while Mallory… I think the kids country-wide will be able to get the message.

 

[doublestop]

What was the principal doing with having her initial and date a poker chip and asking if she was "all in"?

 

[Charlot123]

What was the principal doing with having her initial and date a poker chip and asking if she was "all in"?

I can’t understand it but wonder if this was meant as a “teaching lesson in hyperfocusing”, but instead, ended in humiliating Mallory by singling the child out? Or maybe she showed some dissociation as the result of the bullying trauma, and looked as if in a fog, and he Gonella was trying to draw her attention, like, are you present?

 

[Ray_of_hope]

I understand what you are saying.

The primary purpose of school is for academics, not to be "hanging out" with friends.

Even outside of school time, time spent with friends should be limited and constructive. No hanging out on street corners.

MOO the parents of the 12 year old should be suing the families of the bullies, not the school.

School should be a safe space supervised by adults. In my area, bullying is looked at as a tradition that 'boys will be boys' and a child must learn how to fight back. The bully is usually a larger more formidable one flanked by groupie thugs which gives him the push to be bolder and meaner. It's draconian and punishing to the victim who is only a victim by virtue of envy or size and stature. It's Machiavellian.
I remember reading the short story "The Lottery" in freshmen English in college. It describes a tradition that kept on for tradition's sake. Simply because "We've always done this". No one questioned the ethics or morality of the stonings. It just was. Bullying is the same IMO. The destruction must be stopped. It does no good for society and serves an evil purpose just as the lottery had.

 

[Ray_of_hope]

This is all anecdotal but:

The child bully in my grade was later arrested many times as an adult for theft, etc. The child most bullied later 'fell off' of his roof and died.

The bully at my husband's school is incarcerated for murder. My husband was only one who was bullied (there were many others) but he went on to medical school and a career as a physician.

The bully in one of my son's schools is also a career criminal like his father.

What I deduct is that allowing bullying harms the bully and the one bullied in current society. In feudal society, there may have been a place. Moreover, the bullies home life may be a destructive one causing the symptom. This is obviously only a small very unscientific study but from personal observation, bullying must be stopped.

 

[imstilla.grandma]

“I am hopeful that it sends a strong signal to school districts across the country that they have to take bullying seriously,” said Bruce H. Nagel, a lawyer representing the Grossman family.

Mallory’s death, and her parents’ advocacy in the years that followed, led to the passage of Mallory’s Law in New Jersey last year. The law substantially strengthened the state’s bullying policies, according to Mr. Nagel, and required all schools to be far more active in preventing it. Her family also founded Mallory’s Army, an anti-bullying foundation.

School Will Pay $9.1 Million to Settle Lawsuit Over a Student’s Suicide

After Mallory Grossman took her own life at age 12, her parents accused her New Jersey school district of failing to respond to accusations of bullying.

www.nytimes.com

 

[PrairieWind]

School should be a safe space supervised by adults. In my area, bullying is looked at as a tradition that 'boys will be boys' and a child must learn how to fight back. The bully is usually a larger more formidable one flanked by groupie thugs which gives him the push to be bolder and meaner. It's draconian and punishing to the victim who is only a victim by virtue of envy or size and stature. It's Machiavellian.
I remember reading the short story "The Lottery" in freshmen English in college. It describes a tradition that kept on for tradition's sake. Simply because "We've always done this". No one questioned the ethics or morality of the stonings. It just was. Bullying is the same IMO. The destruction must be stopped. It does no good for society and serves an evil purpose just as the lottery had.

Please understand that today girl on girl bullying is more subtle but probably FAR more dangerous.

 

[Ray_of_hope]

Please understand that today girl on girl bullying is more subtle but probably FAR more dangerous.

I substituted in a private preparatory school. Things were starting in middle school with the girls then and were just horrible and not even veiled. Of course, things may begin even younger these days. A young neighborhood friend was lamenting that she could not afford a certain venue for her elementary age child's birthday where they hire caterers that make dainty tea sandwiches and Hors d'oeuvres really to impress the adults. It was all about fitting in. What are we teaching our children? And even parents feel bullied.

I can remember acquiring free refrigerator boxes and cutting windows and a draw bridge and allowing the kids to run around the yard and paint the 'castle'. We had a bucket of water with a cup of Dawn and several strawberry containers to make bubbles with. The kids had a great time and were very tired.
I don't think I could survive today's parenting. I remember being happy that I had boys when I saw what the girls were capable of while subbing. Merciless!

 

[Charlot123]

This is all anecdotal but:

The child bully in my grade was later arrested many times as an adult for theft, etc. The child most bullied later 'fell off' of his roof and died.

The bully at my husband's school is incarcerated for murder. My husband was only one who was bullied (there were many others) but he went on to medical school and a career as a physician.

The bully in one of my son's schools is also a career criminal like his father.

What I deduct is that allowing bullying harms the bully and the one bullied in current society. In feudal society, there may have been a place. Moreover, the bullies home life may be a destructive one causing the symptom. This is obviously only a small very unscientific study but from personal observation, bullying must be stopped.

In feudal society, or maybe highly organized military systems, hazing pursued another goal. I assume it was to "break in", "polish", like a brick or a stone, so that the new recruit could fit into any wall, or any newly formed regiment. In a war-like situation, hazing probably preceded acceptance ("one of us"), and indeed, with high military casualties,
regiments could be reformed and the person had to fit in. Plus, allegiance to the leader of the "pack" ultimately meant allegiance to the king.

I agree that modern bullies often have unhappy family lives and bullying could be a learned behavior. But imagine, parents of a bully are invited into a school and "spoken to". Then the bully-father comes back home and beats up his bully-son, loudly yelling, "that will teach you not to bully kids". Technically, the neighbors should call CPS, but there is a certain omerta around CPS calls. Same as schools unwilling to move on a bully. And CPS is very slow, unless there are bruises. Maybe, just maybe, if all bullies are punished in this case, other friends of bullies will see that they might be punished for refusing to witness bullying.

 

[Ebon]

School District to Pay $9M After 12-year-old Girl, Bullied at School, Takes Her Own Life

A New Jersey school district has been ordered to pay a $9.1 million settlement to the family of Mallory Grossman, a 12-year-old student who died by suicide in 2017 after facing nearly a year of bullying at a Rockaway Township school. According to Fox News Digital, Dianne and Seth Grossman filed...

www.crimeonline.com

A New Jersey school district has been ordered to pay a $9.1 million settlement to the family of Mallory Grossman, a 12-year-old student who died by suicide in 2017 after facing nearly a year of bullying at a Rockaway Township school.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

That poor girl and her parents.

I think at least in the instances where there is clear evidence of bullying (text messages were sent to her, it was witnessed by teachers...), it should have been treated as a formal offense by the school. Write-ups, meetings with parents, meeting with the school counselor,
whatever it takes. The bullies needed to immediately understand just how wrong they were, and therapy should have been a requirement for them too.

Maybe they were 10, 11 or 12, but kids that age know what's kind and what's cruel.

They and their parents should have to face up what they did, at least through a juvenile justice system, if it led to a suicide. JMO.

 

[Dhighsmith]

School should be a safe space supervised by adults. In my area, bullying is looked at as a tradition that 'boys will be boys' and a child must learn how to fight back. The bully is usually a larger more formidable one flanked by groupie thugs which gives him the push to be bolder and meaner. It's draconian and punishing to the victim who is only a victim by virtue of envy or size and stature. It's Machiavellian.
I remember reading the short story "The Lottery" in freshmen English in college. It describes a tradition that kept on for tradition's sake. Simply because "We've always done this". No one questioned the ethics or morality of the stonings. It just was. Bullying is the same IMO. The destruction must be stopped. It does no good for society and serves an evil purpose just as the lottery had.

It was mandatory reading for me in high school and have always remembered the message.

 

[HMSHood]

This is all anecdotal but:

The child bully in my grade was later arrested many times as an adult for theft, etc. The child most bullied later 'fell off' of his roof and died.

The bully at my husband's school is incarcerated for murder. My husband was only one who was bullied (there were many others) but he went on to medical school and a career as a physician.

The bully in one of my son's schools is also a career criminal like his father.

What I deduct is that allowing bullying harms the bully and the one bullied in current society. In feudal society, there may have been a place. Moreover, the bullies home life may be a destructive one causing the symptom. This is obviously only a small very unscientific study but from personal observation, bullying must be stopped.

No surprise many bullies end up being criminals. I would not be surprised if many sexual abusers have a history of bullying. A lot of school shooters have a history engaging in bullying themselves.

Bullying at 8 years and violent offenses by 31 years: the Finnish nationwide 1981 birth cohort study - European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

This study explored the associations between bullying perpetration and victimization at 8 years of age and violent offenses by the age of 31. Data were obtained for subjects enrolled in a population-based longitudinal birth cohort study. In 1989, 5813 8-year-old children (attrition 3.4%), and...

link.springer.com

https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/bullying_school_shootings_1.2_0.pdf

 

[dbcooper63]

If you sue to redress a schools dereli tion...should the family and ahem lawyer not return the money to a worthy cause and not bath in wealth and status..ie blood money? just throwing that out..dont hate

 

[Charlot123]

If you sue to redress a schools dereli tion...should the family and ahem lawyer not return the money to a worthy cause and not bath in wealth and status..ie blood money? just throwing that out..dont hate

I assume, maybe in such cases, when there are other kids left in the family, for parents to spend them on private schools for other kids because they might be at higher rish for bullying?

 

[JrzyGirl70]

I

If you sue to redress a schools dereli tion...should the family and ahem lawyer not return the money to a worthy cause and not bath in wealth and status..ie blood money? just throwing that out..dont hate

If you follow Mallory's story you would learn that her parents have started a Foundation called Mallory's Army, which travels around the Country trying to prevent other children and families from having to go through another tragedy like the Grossman's did.

Mallory also had three sibilings, I am not sure of their ages but I imagine that the parents may have educations to pay for and possibly lots of therapy to help them deal with losing a sister in this preventable nightmare

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

If you sue to redress a schools dereli tion...should the family and ahem lawyer not return the money to a worthy cause and not bath in wealth and status..ie blood money? just throwing that out..dont hate

No, IMO. Family is entitled to use it however they wish.