FL - Fendra Molme, 11 months, dies in hot car while parents attend church, Palm Bay, May 2023 *arrest*

[imstilla.grandma]

Heatstroke | NHTSA

NHTSA's heatstroke campaign provides facts and ways to prevent heat stroke death in cars, especially kids who are most vulnerable in hot car deaths.

www.nhtsa.gov

 

[Dpdan]

Perhaps someone said, "I'll take care of the baby today" which the mother took to mean "I'll bring the baby in from the car" but the person actually meant "I'll occupy the baby when she fidgets during the service".

 

[GoBuckeyes]

How TH do you forget a child when going to worship? Do the parents have other children?

I could see how this could happen completely accidentally, especially if one or both parents is involved in something prior to the service. (Meetings, choir practice, preparing to teach Sunday School, etc.) It's possible, if they have older children, that they each thought the other parent or an older child was going to take the baby to the nursery. Many churches have a staffed nursery such that a parent or parents won't see the baby until after the service concludes. I really feel for the suffering the baby endured and for the parents, unless and until evidence comes to light that proves intent. MOO

 

[GoBuckeyes]

If one parent is normally left off at the door where they unload their guitars or food, or Sunday School stuff, and that person takes baby to the nursery, the other will park the car and then they may meet in the sanctuary for worship. If they arrive early for rehearsal or because they are part of the activities in the church, then they might not even get to sit together during the service. One could be on a worship team and the other in Jr. Church. They might not even see each other until it's time to head home. I totally get how something like this can happen.

I agree with you.

 

[GoBuckeyes]

Love to know the stats. on 2 people leaving a baby in the car. You tend to only hear of 1 caretaker not 2 doing it.

This doesn't even sound suspicious to me. I can think of a multitude of scenarios in which this could happen completely by mistake.

 

[katydid23]

This doesn't even sound suspicious to me. I can think of a multitude of scenarios in which this could happen completely by mistake.

My issue is that mom [and maybe dad?] pulled into the parking lot with the baby in the car. So that is the pivotal moment, IMO.

Was there a day care worker right there, at the car, in that moment, that said they would bring the kids inside?: So the parents ran into the church? If so, I don't think the parents should be held responsible.

But if they ran inside, LEAVING the baby in the car, then it doesn't matter who else they asked---it is still the parents responsibility to make certain the baby was safely inside the church. If they asked someone to bring the baby inside, they still needed to double check. A baby is the parent's responsibility.

It is not an innocent mistake if they left the baby in the car, and went to do the sermon, and didn't check to make sure the baby was safe. Leaving a baby in the car is just as dangerous as leaving a baby by the swimming pool. You wouldnt walk away, go inside and then say you thought someone else was watching your baby. JMO

 

[MyBelle]

This doesn't even sound suspicious to me. I can think of a multitude of scenarios in which this could happen completely by mistake.

Too much about this case that we still don't know. Such as, did the parents arrive together in the same car? Where were their other children? It's also very possible there was miscommunication between the mother and other adults. A recent case in Washington state was not charged.

Washington 1-year-old child dies in hot car outside hospital: report

A child died after being left in a car that reached temperatures of more than 100 degrees outside the MultiCare Good Samaritan Hospital in Puyallup.

www.foxnews.com

"This is a tragic incident and our hearts go out to the family and everyone who was affected by this," Puyallup Police Department Captain Don Bourbon told the station, "And just want the public to know that during this time of year when it starts getting warmer, just be mindful of temperatures that are growing and safety of our families."

 

[GoBuckeyes]

My issue is that mom [and maybe dad?] pulled into the parking lot with the baby in the car. So that is the pivotal moment, IMO.

Was there a day care worker right there, at the car, in that moment, that said they would bring the kids inside?: So the parents ran into the church? If so, I don't think the parents should be held responsible.

But if they ran inside, LEAVING the baby in the car, then it doesn't matter who else they asked---it is still the parents responsibility to make certain the baby was safely inside the church. If they asked someone to bring the baby inside, they still needed to double check. A baby is the parent's responsibility.

It is not an innocent mistake if they left the baby in the car, and went to do the sermon, and didn't check to make sure the baby was safe. Leaving a baby in the car is just as dangerous as leaving a baby by the swimming pool. You wouldnt walk away, go inside and then say you thought someone else was watching your baby. JMO

They each could have thought the other was taking the baby to the nursery. I still find nothing suspicious about this. Tragic, absolutely! Criminal? No, not unless further evidence is revealed. MOO

 

[GoBuckeyes]

My issue is that mom [and maybe dad?] pulled into the parking lot with the baby in the car. So that is the pivotal moment, IMO.

Was there a day care worker right there, at the car, in that moment, that said they would bring the kids inside?: So the parents ran into the church? If so, I don't think the parents should be held responsible.

But if they ran inside, LEAVING the baby in the car, then it doesn't matter who else they asked---it is still the parents responsibility to make certain the baby was safely inside the church. If they asked someone to bring the baby inside, they still needed to double check. A baby is the parent's responsibility.

It is not an innocent mistake if they left the baby in the car, and went to do the sermon, and didn't check to make sure the baby was safe. Leaving a baby in the car is just as dangerous as leaving a baby by the swimming pool. You wouldnt walk away, go inside and then say you thought someone else was watching your baby. JMO

I'm not suggesting that they were cognizant of the fact that the baby was still in the car. It's obvious that they left the baby in the car. However, intent is not obvious or evident unless other evidence comes to light. I don't think these parents set out to kill their baby last Sunday morning. I don't think they set out to leave the baby in the car at all. I believe it was a terrible mistake. Having been a party to many a chaotic Sunday mornings, from some measure of experience, I can completely see how this could happen 100% accidentally. JMOO

 

[Ontario Mom]

I'm not suggesting that they were cognizant of the fact that the baby was still in the car. It's obvious that they left the baby in the car. However, intent is not obvious or evident unless other evidence comes to light. I don't think these parents set out to kill their baby last Sunday morning. I don't think they set out to leave the baby in the car at all. I believe it was a terrible mistake. Having been a party to many a chaotic Sunday mornings, from some measure of experience, I can completely see how this could happen 100% accidentally. JMOO

I have 7 kids and have attended church every Sunday for decades and I agree that it's especially chaotic when you have toddlers (as I have, 4 kids all less than 6 years apart). I've never once forgotten one of them in the vehicle before entering church (or the store, or school or anywhere else) so, I really have a hard time seeing how this could accidentally happen. I realize this is a very subjective experience, but that's my personal experience.

jmo

 

[Jsizzle]

I imagine that each parent thought the other had picked up the baby.

"I'll drop you off at this door, Sweetheart, so we can unload your things here, then I'll go park the car."

One day every baby car seat will have an alarm so these tragic deaths stop happening.

My Escalade has a reminder that pops up onto my dash with an “alert” that says “Reminder: Check the rear seats” or something like that. I don’t necessarily need it since my kids are 15, 13 and 12 but it catches my attention every single time!

 

[airportwoman]

I would only be suspicious if it was a special-needs child that they wanted to be rid of.

I had wondered about this myself.

It's very unlikely that a storefront church would have a nursery. Those churches are usually just a meeting room, living-room sized, with at the most a few dozen chairs in it, and a small altar that may have room for an electric piano and the pulpit, and maybe a kitchenette in the back room.

 

[Jsizzle]

My Escalade has a reminder that pops up onto my dash with an “alert” that says “Reminder: Check the rear seats” or something like that. I don’t necessarily need it since my kids are 15, 13 and 12 but it catches my attention every single time!

Quoting my own post; along with that if anything moves inside my truck while not is off the Alarm sounds. There’s no way anyone is leaving their kid in an Escalade without him/her being found. Hopefully more cars will have that tech. This is heartbreaking.

 

[musicaljoke]

I had wondered about this myself.

It's very unlikely that a storefront church would have a nursery. Those churches are usually just a meeting room, living-room sized, with at the most a few dozen chairs in it, and a small altar that may have room for an electric piano and the pulpit, and maybe a kitchenette in the back room.

The storefront church in the town near me has a nursery and Sunday School classrooms in the offices at the back.

 

[nao]

Moo. Why is only the mother being held responsible? Other members of family should/could of realized baby was not present...moo

 

[al66pine]

dbm.
prematurely hit post button. (again, darn it)

 

[iamshadow21]

Moo. Why is only the mother being held responsible? Other members of family should/could of realized baby was not present...moo

The other children are minors, and are not responsible for the baby's welfare. That's an adult's job.

As for the father, no idea, it's been crickets where he's concerned.

MOO

 

[al66pine]

dbm

 

[imstilla.grandma]

Some children are knowingly and negligently left inside hot vehicles while their parents do errands. Other kids climb inside their parents’ parked cars and become trapped. But most, like Juan Parks, are victims of adults’ disastrous lapses in memory. “Given the right scenario, I would say this can happen to anyone,” says Diamond. “It has nothing to do with how much parents love their kids. It is, to me, a tragic way of learning how the brain works.”

Each of us has dueling memory systems, Diamond explains. The first — in the primitive, “reptilian” part of the brain — directs our habits. It’s the system that lets you drive home from work without thinking consciously about every turn. The second system — located in more advanced brain regions — is responsible for short-term plans, such as “Buy milk on the way home.” And as anyone who has ever forgotten that milk knows, the primitive “habit system” is much more powerful. “It’s very difficult to keep in your mind that you want to override your habit system,” Diamond says. “And it can take over almost immediately.”

Of course, forgetting a child is far different from forgetting a gallon of 2%. But not to the reptilian brain. Imagine that your plan is “Drop kid at babysitter’s on the way to work.” If you’re tired or distracted by worries, or — worse — if you’re not the person who usually takes the kid to the sitter’s, your habit system can erase that plan with appalling ease. Like Mary Parks, you go straight to work on auto-pilot, spacing out on the fact that your child is with you in the backseat. You even develop false memories of dropping him off. “The brain is very good at filling in gaps, so you will remember what you assume you did,” Diamond says.

Tragedy in the Backseat: Hot-Car Deaths - Parenting

Heartbreaking stories of hot-car deaths — and how you can avoid them Each year about 37 babies and toddlers die when they are accidentally left strapped in car safety seats or become trapped in vehicles that rapidly heat up. If you think this senseless tragedy couldn’t happen to you, think...

www.parenting.com

 

[ChatteringBirds]

A recent case in Washington state was not charged.

The article says in that case, the mother was a foster mother to the baby and a social worker. What do you tell the baby's biological family? It sometimes seems random who is charged with a crime and who isn't. Could there be biases when deciding?