The biggest questions I have about Kohberger are of the chicken and egg variety. Did he choose to devote his life to the field of criminology because he had a desire to kill? Was he hoping to learn how to beat the system and/or avoid being caught? Or did he choose to study criminology because the subject matter fascinated him? Did he become so obsessed with the need to know what drives people to kill and/or what it feels like to take a life that he decided to take matters into his own hands?
It reminds me of this book I once read called
The Last Victim by Jason Moss. As a freshman in college, Moss came up with an unconventional idea for a course research project. The author was fascinated by the motivations of serial killers and dreamed of joining the FBI someday, so he devised a plan to lure notorious serial killers into communicating with him and even forged a full-blown relationship with several.
Before his initial communication with each serial killer, he meticulously researched what interested that killer the most and then cast himself in the role of disciple, admirer, businessman, surrogate, or potential victim. He thought the FBI would certainly be impressed if he convinced these infamous serial killers to buy into his false personas. In a few instances, he won the killer's trust and uncovered secrets. In the case of John Wayne Gacy, he experienced firsthand what it’s like to be stalked, seduced, manipulated, and trapped by a deranged murderer who’d taken the lives of more than thirty young boys.
Armed with recorded phone conversations and the perverted writings of multiple killers, Moss convinced his psychology professor to help him write a book about the experience. The killers he corresponded with include Elmer Wayne Henley, Richard Ramirez, Henry Lee Lucas, Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, and John Wayne Gacy. He developed the strongest relationship with Gacy and even flew to Illinois to visit him in prison a few weeks before his scheduled execution date. It was during this visit when Moss finally realizes it was he who was being played. He was being controlled and manipulated by Gacy, not the other way around. Hence, the title of his book – The Last Victim.
Sadly, his research project had a deeply profound effect on his mental health. He struggled with depression for years before he ultimately killed himself in 2006 at the age of 31.
It reminds me of that Nietzsche quote –
“Whoever battles monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
ETA: If this post sounds like it was copy and pasted from a book synopsis, I apologize. It's definitely not; I wrote this using my own words. I have a book blog (about guilty pleasure romance novels, not true crime), so my writing style when talking about a book is an
occupational hobby hazard.