Found Deceased ID - Joshua Vallow, 7, & Tylee Ryan, 17, Rexburg, Sept 2019 *mom, stepfather found* #14

[CSIDreamer]

Sorry if I'm not active but I dont have any news and im going through my own stuff but I'm really hoping and praying that this all ends soon with the kids alive and healthy! It's a year since I lost my own mom so really emotional right now, love and prayers to all of you!

I'm sorry. Anniversaries can be rough.

 

[KonaHonu]

I'm not LDS. But I'm adopted and I've never ran into anyone associated with adoption (and there are many) that make a distinction between biological and adopted relatives. This is a new one on me. Jmo.

I don't think there is a difference. But in this case the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes. Would she have viewed Joe Ryan as CR's father after they divorced? What about JJ? Do you see what I'm saying?

 

[Portiz34]

I'm sorry. Anniversaries can be rough.

Thank you! I really appreciate that. Not taking away from what our threads about.

 

[Ctrgirl06]

So one thing I've been meaning to ask the LDS people here: It is my understanding that LDS view adoptive relationships as equivalent to blood relationships. Is that true? The answer could slightly impact some of the discussion here and our assumptions about peoples' motivations and attitudes.

I would think that is usually typical for most adoptive relationships, regardless if they are LDS or not. As a LDS member I would say that yes, we usually do look at adoptive relationships the same as though they were related by blood. Once you are considered a part of that family, you are given all right and privileges as any other member of that family. I'm sure this could be different for each family, but I personally have never seen that in a family that has adopted children.

 

[jjenny]

I don't think there is a difference. But in this case the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes. Would she have viewed Joe Ryan as CR's father after they divorced? What about JJ? Do you see what I'm saying?

As far as I can tell, Joe Ryan was only fighting for custody of his biological daughter Tylee, not Colby's.

 

[FindingJoLee]

I don't think there is a difference. But in this case the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes. Would she have viewed Joe Ryan as CR's father after they divorced? What about JJ? Do you see what I'm saying?

She's been calling plays out of her very own rule book for a long time, so I think Lori's view at the time were what informs Lori's attitudes. I don't know why the custody didn't involve Colby, if Joe did adopt him.

It's not zero sum. Joe isn't perfect either.

 

[CSIDreamer]

I don't think there is a difference. But in this case the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes. Would she have viewed Joe Ryan as CR's father after they divorced? What about JJ? Do you see what I'm saying?

I do. But I see no life evidence of Lori living by Mormon beliefs. So I blatantly disregard that lol. Jmo

 

[iluvmua]

Dateline will be doing a 2 hour episode on this case on Friday

 

[FindingJoLee]

Sorry if I'm not active but I dont have any news and im going through my own stuff but I'm really hoping and praying that this all ends soon with the kids alive and healthy! It's a year since I lost my own mom so really emotional right now, love and prayers to all of you!

I'm so sorry. I hope that at least you take a lot of happiness from the relationship with your mother. And I also that you also take some joy during this sad time in knowing that you did something no one else following this case here could do -- you put up the children's pictures so that local people would know they are missing and to be on the look out. :::hugs:::

 

[155etta]

I don't think there is a difference. But in this case the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes. Would she have viewed Joe Ryan as CR's father after they divorced? What about JJ? Do you see what I'm saying?

I have to say that I don't think the LDS view may inform Lori's attitudes is true. Her behavior is all over the place. She may have attended church the past two Sundays but she is not in alignment with LDS values at all in my opinion. She makes her own rules and breaks and bends the others as she sees fit. MOO.
BBM

 

[holsen]

Can someone tell me, what is a VI? Thanks in advance!

I thought that one of our VIs said that Chad was on vacation with his family on Thanksgiving weekend. Not sure if that was in Hawaii.

 

[Bray2020]

I'm not LDS. But I'm adopted and I've never ran into anyone associated with adoption (and there are many) that make a distinction between biological and adopted relatives. This is a new one on me. Jmo.

Same here. LDS people are just like everyone else in this respect...IMO

 

[CSIDreamer]

Can someone tell me, what is a VI? Thanks in advance!

Verified insider. They have to interview with the owner of the website here to "verify" they are who they say they are. They're special.

Verified Professional and Insider Members

 

[Gardener1850]

I know about the relationship, but Annie has been quoted saying that Joe adopted him, and if that's true - it makes her his aunt.

But Colby's birth certificate doesn't list a father, Lori is the only one on it, so no one really knows who Colby's father is. (I know there's some evidence initially about child support, but there doesn't seem to be any connection at all to husband #2 after the divorce and remarriage to Joe.) Colby was born during her second marriage, that's all we know.

We don't even know the extent of the "adoption" -- was it a legal adoption or did Lori simply change Colby's name so he would have the same last name as his sister Tylee? I get what many are saying about their expectations regarding adoptive familial relationships, but it seems like the way things have been represented in this case there was almost no relationship developed with Colby's "adoptive" father's family. Lori's marriage to Joe only lasted about 3 years before divorce was filed in 2003 and then Lori married Charles in 2006. Colby seems to have considered Charles as his father, not Joe. MOO.

We are talking about a brief relationship over a decade ago followed by an acrimonious divorce and a mother (Lori) who moved her kids around from state to state. Is it really so hard to believe that Joe's family members hardly had any relationship with Tylee and Colby? I don't find it that surprising. I think it's admirable that Annie went to try to comfort Tylee after the death of Joe and also understandable that she chose to cut off contact because of Lori. Lori seems to have had that effect on many people. MOO.

 

[FindingJoLee]

I am from Utah. My secretary cruises every quarter and she is always telling me that she parks away from the airport, she says she parks in no fee parking closer to West Valley and jumps on a shuttle at local hotels. She says if you go to the lobby of the hotel and then walk out with a group, the shuttle doesn't ask if you are a patron. Then she can take a two week cruise. Her vehicle is on the security cameras the whole time. She even rides the hotel shuttles back. I asked her if they ask her about her being a customer. She says they have never questioned her. She just walks up to hotel she knows shes parked close by and rides back and get her vehicle. She says she saves at least a hundred everytime. She has gone for over 3 weeks and her vehicle hasn't even gotten a ticket. Just go old trusting Utah.

I seriously doubt that either Chad or Lori would have any discomfort at all about taking a perk that was intended for hotel guests. I think the cars were left (or 'are at') somewhere other than a hotel parking lot with a trusting shuttle driver, but anything's possible in this case.

 

[jjenny]

To me, Colby came across as very sincere in his interview. I found it strange he didn't even ask where Lori and the children were moving to, but he could have easily lied in an interview and claim he did ask. I am guessing he had his own family to worry about, and less so about his mother's family. I don't think he believed at any time Lori would harm JJ and Tylee.

 

[OGDiva]

So one thing I've been meaning to ask the LDS people here: It is my understanding that LDS view adoptive relationships as equivalent to blood relationships. Is that true? The answer could slightly impact some of the discussion here and our assumptions about peoples' motivations and attitudes.

I was adopted into a Momon family. I was sealed to them in the Temple and have always been considered the same as my brothers and sisters who were biologically my parent's children.

 

[holsen]

Nate was great, so professional. The grandparents were so emotional, and their pain must have pushed many listeners to share in that pain. He had some prosecutor on as well...I personally did not find her very enlightening....but the grandparents and Nate were riviting...IMO

So glad to hear this, although I feel terrible for the grandparents and all of the family that is hurting right now. I'm hoping I can find it on Hulu or something...

 

[FindingJoLee]

We don't even know the extent of the "adoption" -- was it a legal adoption or did Lori simply change Colby's name so he would have the same last name as his sister Tylee? I get what many are saying about their expectations regarding adoptive familial relationships, but it seems like the way things have been represented in this case there was almost no relationship developed with Colby's "adoptive" father's family. Lori's marriage to Joe only lasted about 3 years before divorce was filed in 2003 and then Lori married Charles in 2006. Colby seems to have considered Charles as his father, not Joe. MOO.

We are talking about a brief relationship over a decade ago followed by an acrimonious divorce and a mother (Lori) who moved her kids around from state to state. Is it really so hard to believe that Joe's family members hardly had any relationship with Tylee and Colby? I don't find it that surprising. I think it's admirable that Annie went to try to comfort Tylee after the death of Joe and also understandable that she chose to cut off contact because of Lori. Lori seems to have had that effect on many people. MOO.

I said about 13 threads ago that I seriously doubt everything that I thought and knew about these people, so I'm open to anything. But right now I'm just relying on Annie's understanding of the relationship between Joe and Colby and her use of the term "adoption."

You're right -- it's pretty obvious that the relationship (whether it's'father and son'... or just "Lori's 3rd husband" and "Lori's oldest child").....soured. But it seems like Annie tried to maintain things even after Lori's brother shot Joe. That would be a relationship dealbreaker for me.

 

[jjenny]

Lori's brother tasered Joe (husband #3). Husband #4 (Chalres) was the one Lori's brother shot (to death). I guess Chad is lucky since Lori's brother is now dead.