She is still your mom, Rita, and how could she not check in from time to time to give you some comfort? As my sister posted, we would smell our mom's cigarette smoke. There were times after her death that I would be so upset and driving in my car alone or with someone and smell it... and that is odd because my husband and I don't smoke and no one smokes in my car (not even my mom). After she was gone, I remember wishing so hard there was a way to have ONE phone call to heaven... and her... just one. (but I know it would NEVER be enough even if we had 1000000000000 calls). Even if you believe they are in Heaven and have said everything there is to say and they KNOW how much you love them and you know how much they love you... letting go is still hard.
Just an aside here,when my father was young and living in the wilds of Northern Minnesota, he killed a snowy owl and had him taxedermied (is that a word?), sounds awful now but he was quite proud of that owl. My sister and I grew up with it in the house and loved it as a pet. My dad was 71 when he died, several days after the funeral, my mother, sister and I were coming home along a route that we had taken with my dad many times....when all of a sudden a snowy owl came swoopping out of the sky, dove in front of our car, went up into to the air and swopped down again then took off into one of the most beautiful sunsets we have ever seen. You can decide for yourselves, but to the three of us, it was his final message to us...that he was OK...that he was free to fly again and that with the final flap of his glorious white wings, he sent us his love.
My father has been gone from us almost 20 years now...to Pat's family, I want you to know that my father has been with me everyday in every way and I know that Pat will be with you always too. I carry him in my heart and in my mind and he stays with me always, my children and my grandson make life decisions based on his rigorous believe in what is right and treat their children and spouses the way he taught them.
our family symbol is now the snowy owl, he is our totem of strength, integrity, honor, love, a sense of fair play and a sense of playfulness and laughter.
To Pat's family...I am sure that somewhere, Pat has left you a totem, may you lean on it and may it bring you comfort and when you look into that beautiful sunrise or sunset, may you feel Pat's strength and love, because always she will be sending it to you, you need only to open your eyes and your heart to feel it.
May God bless you all.
Love Pam