Kyron's parents' statements, interviews

[Emma Peel]

%&*$*&^%%$$#@
I keep losing my posts.

I'll take it as a sign.

Okay, maybe I won't. :crazy:

Saw the interview finally. (Thanks Eyes). Think Desiree made it pretty clear that Terri told her she was ready for Desiree to come get Kyron, and Kyron was ready for Desiree to come get Kyron, and Kaine made it clear that this was not an option.

Summer vacation planning - with Desiree & Kyron together for a longer time in summer than ever before (IIRC) - probably helped smooth that decision over for all.

Kaine had planned an extended vacation in California with Kyron immediately upon school letting out. Then, IIRC, Kyron was to go to Desiree's for summer.

(Where were Terri & baby planning to be during California vacation? Anyone recall?)

IMO, it's starting to make some sense to me. The timing and all. Something snapped in Terri, and she took the Kyron leaving matter into her own hands?

Surely many step-parents can discern and separate the emotions and pain of the end of a marriage relationship from the parenting/nurturing relationship with their stepchildren. I'm gathering Terri was not that sort of step-parent. Have to agree with those before who have suggested she never bonded with Kyron.

What was in the way of that bonding? Was it the same thing that is at the root of her alcohol abuse. At the root of her lying. At the root of the intense body-building effort (as in, the rush/focus to prepare for competition). At the root of the sexting behaviors.

Or was it a growing hatred of Kaine that broke the bond with Kyron?

We're getting there. .... Those of us interested in the dynamic that made this seemingly impossible "disappearance" happen ... we're slowly getting to the circumstantial bits of evidence that LE likely has that make them confident in a case against Terri.

Speaking for myself, I've needed info like this - to be able to get there with circumstantial information such as these "indicators" from Desiree may become.

Without Kyron's body, IMO, we need this exactly this sort of family-history-emotional-evidentiary information to firm up a case against Terri. We might even need it for the MFH case.

Analyzing the relationship dynamics is not about trying to point fingers at, or to blame the victim parents for this crime. At least not for me.

The victims parents are crushed. I take issue with Kaine's choices to keep silent about Terri's issues (temporary or otherwise) when Desiree was trying to get to the root of Kyron's unhappiness. Never-the-less, I'm sure Kaine had no idea what Terri was capable of, and his silence on the subject, his relutance to disclose, may well have been to give his family (with Terri, Kyron, the baby) time to turn itself around. We don't know the why of that. But, I get the impression that Kaine is a very smart man. High intellect. I can imagine he's right all of the time, argues logically and strenuously, and that he is an intimidating person to disagree with.

But Desiree is no longer able to support the decisions and choices and the reasonings that Kaine has made in the past, now that she knows more about what happened. She may be speaking from a place of anger now. (finally.) As she moves through her grief...but I have to say, she sure has demonstrated enormous composure for an angry person. She's been a pillar of composure and class all along.

That gives me reason to listen to her very closely.

:cow:

 

[SurfieTX]

I've had to step away from this case for the past couple of months because 1. it is so terribly heart wrenching and 2. that it is beyond frustrating that sometimes the case seems to be going nowhere.
This morning I saw this segment and my heart got ripped out all over again. But my biggest question is WHY did Kaine not do anything? Why did he not protect Kyron and Baby K if he saw huge, giant flashing red warning signs? I haven't wanted to put any blame on him, but I just don't understand why he didn't do something to protect Kyron.

I choose to believe that Kaine was well on the path of divorcing Terri. She knew it, slept on the couch, resumed drinking, and she blamed Kyron (unbeknownst to Kaine). She figured if she could just get Kyron out of the picture (by calling Desiree and telling her to get Kyron), as well as her own son gone, she could repair her marriage or take Kaine to the cleaners in a divorce. Kaine knew that his chances of getting full custody of little K would be less than ideal if he relinquished custody of Kyron. Something pushed Terri over the edge, and no one saw it coming or could imagine that "it" equaled hurting a child.

ETA: I'm also 99% sure that Kyron knew something that Terri was doing or saying behind everyone else's back. Desiree hinted at that some time ago.

 

[Eileen730]

My guess is that he didn't think Kyron was in danger.

How could he not know? Ignorance is bliss? He has stated she used to drink her self to sleep how could his kids not be in danger.
Sure maybe he didnt know she hated Kyron but then again i have to think there were signs JMO

YOU know when your child is not happy!!!!

He watned to go live with DES.

 

[Emma Peel]

I am terribly saddened by this division. Big mistake, huge. This just fractures what was a cohesive partnership and sets them both up for quarterbacking. Now is not the time to do this in public.

I dont think it is fair of Desiree to call Kaine out and I dont think it was fair of Kaine not to prep Desiree.

But what a sad, sad, sad state of affairs. I hoped that they would stay united because the whole purpose is to determine the truth regarding Kyron.

This is an interesting point of view, I hadn't considered.

I never really felt they had a cohesive partnership, so much as a united offensive partnership designed to push Terri into confessing. Upon close reivew you could see little snippets here and there where Desiree would go off-script just a bit ... That led me to feel all interviews were scripted. Which, for their purposes at the time, made sense to me.

I think perhaps by Desiree going off the united-front script, we're seeing that she is herself, getting to the truth of what happened regarding Kyron. JMHO.

 

[stmarysmead]

Imagine a woman who would write emails blaming a small child for the state of her marriage...saying hateful things about him? There was no concern here that someday, Kyron might read one of these things...no concern for him at all. Kaine has been criticized for embarrassing his children by using the sexts to keep Baby K safe...what excuse is there for a 40 year old woman to vent her venom on a small boy in her care? I wonder what she said to Kyron in her fury?

Imagine friends who knew of her true feelings...reading that fake garbage on her Facebook...wherein she POSES as a loving stepmom. I would want to vomit.

And then this hated child disappears... and she's sexting, talking dirty, having fun.

I see no reason that the main source of our outrage on this revelation...should be Kaine. Kaine is a secondary party in this.

It seems every time something truly vile is revealed about Terri...the discussion gets deflected to Kaine.

Kaine was not trashing HER son on emails. Terri was trashing a little guy who probably loved her. And feared her. She didn't have to do any ugly coping when Kyron disappeared. Her dearest wish to be rid of him came true. Nothing Kaine has done reaches the depths of depravity of THAT.

 

[Torn2pieces]

Sometimes things aren't what they seem - until we start looking back on them.

Could he just have been oblivious to TH problems? It's possible...Yet, if she was drinking, he allowed her to drive his children to and fro. Who's to say she wasn't drinking during the day!

What bothers me most - why didn't KH come out beforehand about all this. Why Did DY have to hear it from the media? Didn't she have a right to know - after all, Kyron was her son too.

I bet lots of things occurred in that house - that probably will never be told.

 

[ami]

How could he not know? Ignorance is bliss? He has stated she used to drink her self to sleep how could his kids not be in danger.
Sure maybe he didnt know she hated Kyron but then again i have to think there were signs JMO

YOU know when your child is not happy!!!!

He watned to go live with DES.

How could he not know that Terri was in the mind to harm or kill his son? Because she drank and slept on the couch? In my mind, those are not signs of a premeditated murder... clearly in Kaine's mind they were not either.

Many, many people drink too much and sleep on the couch. What percentage of them are murderers? I don't know, but it doesn't suggest immediate correlation to me.

 

[ThoughtFox]

So are we now blaming Kaine for what Terri did to Kyron? It's Kaine's fault his son went missing and is probably dead? It's Kaine's fault for the whole investigation not going faster to bring Kyron home? Is Kaine now to blame for everything?

Wow, such compassion is being shown to this man right now. I am utterly appalled. A few words from Desiree and Kaine is no longer the victim? What next, is Kaine to be blamed for Kyron's death too?

I think I need to step away from this thread. It sickens me to see such a rush of judgment against Kaine when Terri is the one that has done wrong against Kyron and Kaine. I am not blaming Kaine for Terri's actions.

I was about to write the same thing, as my blood pressure is rising just reading this thread.

Desiree is a mother in pain and grief, and my heart goes out to her. But blaming Kaine is not going to bring Kyron back, and while Kaine seemed to accept that Kyron might not still be alive many weeks ago, I think Desiree has had some denial going on. Maybe still does.

I just want to say one thing in Kaine's defense. He loves Kyron, I'm sure of that.

But I believe that he also loved Terri, and to assume that he was on the verge of divorcing her (as some here are implying) before he found out about the MFH plot just doesn't make any sense to me. He defended her up until then.

It is not a crime to be blindsided by a conniving lying cheating sexting narcissistic possibly murderous spouse. :banghead:

It's just sad that people change their minds so quickly based on emotional statements from one day to the next. :twocents:

 

[cakegirl0905]

My guess is that he didn't think Kyron was in danger.

But if my spouse was passing out drunk, and leaving an infant unattended and up all hours of the night, there would be some major changes made. He would either have to get help or get out.
Did Kaine just not want to admit there were problems?

 

[Melanie]

Wouldn't it be a HUGE red flag that TH called D and ask her to take Kyron? I'd be in the car so fast! I want to know how KH and D reacted to those calls.

JMO, it doesn't seem that KH was being the best hands on dad if you ask me. Was he doing what was best for Kyron?

Hugs,

Mel

 

[cluciano63]

I've felt all along that Kaine was not being honest with Desiree so I was not blindsided by her statements today.

If Kaine indeed had plans to divorce Terri, then he was not about to let Desiree take Kyron, that would not look good for him.

I am sorry but I think Kaine was determined to keep Kyron, whether Kyron was happy or not. That is my opinion.

 

[ami]

I was about to write the same thing, as my blood pressure is rising just reading this thread.

Desiree is a mother in pain and grief, and my heart goes out to her. But blaming Kaine is not going to bring Kyron back, and while Kaine seemed to accept that Kyron might not still be alive many weeks ago, I think Desiree has had some denial going on. Maybe still does.

I just want to say one thing in Kaine's defense. He loves Kyron, I'm sure of that.

But I believe that he also loved Terri, and to assume that he was on the verge of divorcing her (as some here are implying) before he found out about the MFH plot just doesn't make any sense to me. He defended her up until then.

It is not a crime to be blindsided by a conniving lying cheating sexting narcissistic possibly murderous spouse. :banghead:

It's just sad that people change their minds so quickly based on emotional statements from one day to the next. :twocents:

I've read that blaming the victim and pointing out the ways that you behave differently from the parent who lost their child is, in a sense, a way of warding off this kind of evil from your own life. It's a way of saying, "this would never happen to my child, because I would have done everything differently!" Well, maybe we're each making other mistakes that people outside our life would not have made - and those people would have made still others - and those of us with living, healthy children have just been very lucky that our own misjudgments and mistakes have not been paid for through the lives of our precious children.

 

[BeanE]

This is an interesting point of view, I hadn't considered.

I never really felt they had a cohesive partnership, so much as a united offensive partnership designed to push Terri into confessing. Upon close reivew you could see little snippets here and there where Desiree would go off-script just a bit ... That led me to feel all interviews were scripted. Which, for their purposes at the time, made sense to me.

I think perhaps by Desiree going off the united-front script, we're seeing that she is herself, getting to the truth of what happened regarding Kyron. JMHO.

This wasn't the first time Desiree broke the united front, though.

There was previously her October 2 press conference.

She said something about how Kaine didn't support her doing the press conference, and she had apologized to him, but she felt, as Kyron's mom, she had to do it.

 

[Adrienne37]

Imagine a woman who would write emails blaming a small child for the state of her marriage...saying hateful things about him? There was no concern here that someday, Kyron might read one of these things...no concern for him at all. Kaine has been criticized for embarrassing his children by using the sexts to keep Baby K safe...what excuse is there for a 40 year old woman to vent her venom on a small boy in her care? I wonder what she said to Kyron in her fury?

Imagine friends who knew of her true feelings...reading that fake garbage on her Facebook...wherein she POSES as a loving stepmom. I would want to vomit.

And then this hated child disappears... and she's sexting, talking dirty, having fun.

I see no reason that the main source of our outrage on this revelation...should be Kaine. Kaine is a secondary party in this.

It seems every time something truly vile is revealed about Terri...the discussion gets deflected to Kaine.

Kaine was not trashing HER son on emails. Terri was trashing a little guy who probably loved her. And feared her. She didn't have to do any ugly coping when Kyron disappeared. Her dearest wish to be rid of him came true. Nothing Kaine has done reaches the depths of depravity of THAT.

Amen SMM. Couldn't agree with you more. What bothers me the most about this whole situation after Kyron's disappearance, of course, is how long would it take for her to tire of baby K? She managed to get her older son out of the house, she made Kyron disappear, so what in the world would she have done to baby K?

I'm curious to know who all she sent emails to regarding her extreme hatred for Kyron? Did she send them to Dede and is that why Dede was drug into this mess, did she send them to her friends who helped her with the bat phones? I think when all of this is said and done we will finally know just how much Terri truly hated Kyron and Kaine. Maybe one of these days she will decide to man up and do the right thing by telling LE where she took him too. Like I said, I'm just thankful that baby K is no longer with this severely evil woman.

~JMO~

 

[forthelost]

I honestly think his later comment that he wished the MFH had gone through (with the implication that his son would be safe then) says the most. Maybe before his son vanished, he thought him having custody was a good idea, but I'm sure he's kicking himself now for not taking his mother up on it.

 

[ami]

But if my spouse was passing out drunk, and leaving an infant unattended and up all hours of the night, there would be some major changes made. He would either have to get help or get out.
Did Kaine just not want to admit there were problems?

Well, we've discussed this a ton, but I still maintain that we simply don't know if Kaine thought there were changes being made, or if he believed Terri was getting help (if not professional, then maybe just by working out more, relieving stress, etc). We don't know, because neither side has detailed what went on in the house, if Kaine did believe that Terri was trying to change.

 

[ThoughtFox]

Desiree stated months ago that Kyron begged to stay with her. I think she said that in the first Dateline interview.

Thing is, she never filed to get custody of him. That was her choice. She's a grown-up too.

Her scapegoating of Kaine for her own choices doesn't really help anything.

Instead, she went along with Terri as primary caregiver, just as Kaine did, and now only in hindsight she knows it was a huge mistake.

Hindsight is 20-20.

She's not to blame for what happened to Kyron, but she probably feels huge survivor's guilt over it. She wants to make sure Kaine feels it too. And I'm sure he does.

If this investigation is coming to an end somehow, and they are only searching Sauvie Island to tie up loose ends before a trial, then that might explain why Desiree is losing it. She held out hope that Kyron was alive all these months, and now LE may be telling her he's probably gone.

The fact that she lost it on the Today Show doesn't make her accusations any more plausible or true. She may have sounded reasonable before now because she was in denial and not being honest with herself. Now she is both angry and devastated, so she's blasting Kaine.

 

[Trt]

So are we now blaming Kaine for what Terri did to Kyron? It's Kaine's fault his son went missing and is probably dead? It's Kaine's fault for the whole investigation not going faster to bring Kyron home? Is Kaine now to blame for everything?

Wow, such compassion is being shown to this man right now. I am utterly appalled. A few words from Desiree and Kaine is no longer the victim? What next, is Kaine to be blamed for Kyron's death too?

I think I need to step away from this thread. It sickens me to see such a rush of judgment against Kaine when Terri is the one that has done wrong against Kyron and Kaine. I am not blaming Kaine for Terri's actions.

ITA...imo, the next logical step in this would be to blame Desiree since (AFAWK) she never did anything official to try and get custody of Kyron. But I choose not to blame either of these bio parents for what Terri (allegedly) did, since Kaine would have still had access to Kyron had Desiree gotten the courts to agree to change his primary residence(they have joint custody already) and Terri still might have harbored hatred against him and she still might have down something to him on the days that Kaine did have him.

JMO

 

[cluciano63]

Sadly, we will probably be hearing from, and posting about, Kaine's PC shortly, and yet won't be any closer to finding Kyron.

I wish LE would make a statement about the progress, if any, in the investigation, other than "where he isn't". They had to know Desiree would react to those e-mails, so I assume they must have wanted this to happen.

If Terri really did try to get Desiree to take Kyron, that destroys, for me, the theory that she hated Desiree and wanted to hurt her by hurting Kyron. I think Terri saved her hatred for Kaine, and possibly his son. So seeing a wedge between Desiree and Kaine does not necessairly inflame Terri now. They seem to have had issues between them already.

I wonder if in anger or under the influence, Terri ever told Kaine that she was going to get Kyron out of that house, one way or another.

 

[Emma Peel]

I was about to write the same thing, as my blood pressure is rising just reading this thread.

Desiree is a mother in pain and grief, and my heart goes out to her. But blaming Kaine is not going to bring Kyron back, and while Kaine seemed to accept that Kyron might not still be alive many weeks ago, I think Desiree has had some denial going on. Maybe still does.

I just want to say one thing in Kaine's defense. He loves Kyron, I'm sure of that.

But I believe that he also loved Terri, and to assume that he was on the verge of divorcing her (as some here are implying) before he found out about the MFH plot just doesn't make any sense to me. He defended her up until then.

It is not a crime to be blindsided by a conniving lying cheating sexting narcissistic possibly murderous spouse. :banghead:

It's just sad that people change their minds so quickly based on emotional statements from one day to the next. :twocents:

BBM

I don't believe that Desiree was terribly quick to change her mind regarding Kaine's choices. I think she's given it careful and painful consideration. I still respect her opinion ... and I'm listening to it today. I'll listen to it later too. Perhaps Kaine will have a chance to talk about his own revelations and the choices he made. I hope he does get that chance.

Regardless, if it weren't for Terri, I agree none of this would have happened. I am off that fence today, which by the way, I have been sitting on since Time Zero. I suppose, I was even slower than Desiree and Kaine in making up my mind to get off the fence. Then, again, Kaine wasn't tellin' the court/public/Desiree stuff...until recently...so... in that same blindsided sort of way, I can understand how Desiree feels...about Kaine's choices.

By the way, if Kaine wanted Desiree out of denial, perhaps he could have shared a bit more about Terri's issues, and why he himself was out of denial, with Desiree. Apparently, Kaine didn't see the need to go there with Desiree. Who knows why?

I agree without a doubt that, as you've pointed out Kaine loved Kyron. I'm thinking yes, he must have loved the mother of his other baby too. He certainly protected her like he loved her. And I do believe he was sincerely in denial about her too for a time. A critical time, but, yes, denial and shock. I'm softening on that point a bit, thanks to the good posts of folks here. JMHO.