man hides meth in "BUTTOCKS CRACK"

[Bennettras]

Ok, not the brightest crayon in the box. There is hope for this man, THE CRACK PATCH!!!!!! Someone please send him the butt crack patch article - another match made in heaven by bizarre news :woohoo:

 

[PeteyGirl]

I laughed so hard at their use of the words; " buttocks crack" LOL... I guess there really is no other term for the butt crack LOL..

maybe they could have used "gluteal fold" but it might not have made the same impact

 

[Angel4u2Whisper2]

:behind::behind:
Butt Butt he didn't mean to do it!

 

[DollyPardonMe]

I love all these wiseCRACKS!! :butthead:

 

[Steely Dan]

Was this guy charged with possession of Meth and Crack? :waitasec:

seriously is amazing what people will claim is not theirs when you pull it out of their "buttocks crack" and other buttocks areas in the ER! I once recovered a SNOW GLOBE!!!!! (attending and I delivered it with the forceps and the guy said he had no idea how it got there!)

:waitasec: WHAT!! YOU REMOVED A WHAT!! Now how did that get in there?! :innocent:

I worked at a hospital and part of my job was stocking drugs for the ED. Someone there told me that a guy came in with an 18" dildo up his buttocks crack and said he was painting and fell off the ladder onto it.

Linky

"Rectal Foreign Bodies" -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object /Number Recovered


Glass or ceramic

Bottle or jar ...................................32
Bottle with attached rope..................1
Glass or cup....................................12
Light bulb..........................................7
Tube.................................................6

Food

Apple................................................1 (?)
Banana.............................................2
Carrot..............................................4
Cucumber........................................3
Onion...............................................2 (?)
Parsnip.............................................1
Plantain (with condom).....................1 :waitasec:
Potato..............................................1 (?)
Salami..............................................1
Turnip...............................................1
Zucchini............................................2

Wooden (just the thought of splinters!!! )

Ax handle.........................................1 (Redneck)
Stick or broom handle......................10
Miscellaneous or unspecified..............3

Sexual Device

Vibrator............................................23*
Dildo................................................15

Kitchen device

Dull knife...........................................1
Ice pick.............................................1
Knife sharpener.................................1
Mortar pestle.....................................2 (Pharmacist?)
Spatula (plastic)................................1
Spoon..............................................1
Tin cup..............................................1 (Prisoner?)

Miscellaneous tools

Candle..............................................1
Curling Iron.......................................1 (on or off?)
Flashlight..........................................3
Iron rod............................................1
Pen...................................................2
Rubber tube......................................1
Screwdriver......................................1
Toothbrush.......................................1
Wire spring........................................1

Inflated device

Balloon..............................................1
Balloon attached to cylinder...............1
Condom............................................1

Ball How do you get these things up there? :waitasec:

Baseball..............................................2
Tennis ball...........................................1
Pool cue ball........................................1

Miscellaneous containers

Baby powder can.................................1
Candle box .........................................1 (?)
Shampoo Bottle...................................1
Snuff box.............................................1 (?)

Miscellaneous

Bottle cap............................................1
Cattle horn..........................................3 (Redneck)
Chain (gold)........................................1
Frozen pig's tail....................................1 (Redneck)
"Kangaroo tumor" #.............................1 (WTF!!!!!!!)
Hair Mousse Cap...................................1
Plastic rod.............................................1
Stone...................................................2
Toothbrush holder.................................1
Toothbrush package..............................1 (?)
Whip handle...........................................2*

Collections (one case of each)

2 Glass tubes
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
Oil can with potato stopper (?)
Piece of wood, peanut
Umbrella handle and enema tubing
2 Glasses (?)
Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
402 Stones (402?! 402!!! 402!!!!!) :tsktsk:
Toolbox ## (?)
2 Bars soap
Beer glass and preserving pot (?)
Lemon and cold cream jar
2 Apples (?)
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine (?)
total of 14 collections, with approximately 500 objects

 

[rileysmom]

Was this guy charged with possession of Meth and Crack? :waitasec:



:waitasec: WHAT!! YOU REMOVED A WHAT!! Now how did that get in there?! :innocent:

I worked at a hospital and part of my job was stocking drugs for the ED. Someone there told me that a guy came in with an 18" dildo up his buttocks crack and said he was painting and fell off the ladder onto it.

Linky

"Rectal Foreign Bodies" -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object /Number Recovered


Glass or ceramic

Bottle or jar ...................................32
Bottle with attached rope..................1
Glass or cup....................................12
Light bulb..........................................7
Tube.................................................6

Food

Apple................................................1 (?)
Banana.............................................2
Carrot..............................................4
Cucumber........................................3
Onion...............................................2 (?)
Parsnip.............................................1
Plantain (with condom).....................1 :waitasec:
Potato..............................................1 (?)
Salami..............................................1
Turnip...............................................1
Zucchini............................................2

Wooden (just the thought of splinters!!! )

Ax handle.........................................1 (Redneck)
Stick or broom handle......................10
Miscellaneous or unspecified..............3

Sexual Device

Vibrator............................................23*
Dildo................................................15

Kitchen device

Dull knife...........................................1
Ice pick.............................................1
Knife sharpener.................................1
Mortar pestle.....................................2 (Pharmacist?)
Spatula (plastic)................................1
Spoon..............................................1
Tin cup..............................................1 (Prisoner?)

Miscellaneous tools

Candle..............................................1
Curling Iron.......................................1 (on or off?)
Flashlight..........................................3
Iron rod............................................1
Pen...................................................2
Rubber tube......................................1
Screwdriver......................................1
Toothbrush.......................................1
Wire spring........................................1

Inflated device

Balloon..............................................1
Balloon attached to cylinder...............1
Condom............................................1

Ball How do you get these things up there? :waitasec:

Baseball..............................................2
Tennis ball...........................................1
Pool cue ball........................................1

Miscellaneous containers

Baby powder can.................................1
Candle box .........................................1 (?)
Shampoo Bottle...................................1
Snuff box.............................................1 (?)

Miscellaneous

Bottle cap............................................1
Cattle horn..........................................3 (Redneck)
Chain (gold)........................................1
Frozen pig's tail....................................1 (Redneck)
"Kangaroo tumor" #.............................1 (WTF!!!!!!!)
Hair Mousse Cap...................................1
Plastic rod.............................................1
Stone...................................................2
Toothbrush holder.................................1
Toothbrush package..............................1 (?)
Whip handle...........................................2*

Collections (one case of each)

2 Glass tubes
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
Oil can with potato stopper (?)
Piece of wood, peanut
Umbrella handle and enema tubing
2 Glasses (?)
Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
402 Stones (402?! 402!!! 402!!!!!) :tsktsk:
Toolbox ## (?)
2 Bars soap
Beer glass and preserving pot (?)
Lemon and cold cream jar
2 Apples (?)
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine (?)
total of 14 collections, with approximately 500 objects

Some people are just not right in the head, what are they thinking, oh nevermind I don't even want to know.

 

[Steely Dan]

Some people are just not right in the head, what are they thinking, oh nevermind I don't even want to know.

I used to work with a woman who every time somebody would ask her if she knew where something was, would reply; "If it was up your butt you'd know where it was". Maybe they just want to be able to find it easily. :waitasec:

 

[snowshuze]

I guess this isn't the thread for "some people can't find their butt with both hands and a flashlight"?

 

[rileysmom]

:rolling::rolling:

I used to work with a woman who every time somebody would ask her if she knew where something was, would reply; "If it was up your butt you'd know where it was". Maybe they just want to be able to find it easily. :waitasec:

:laughbounce::laughbounce::laughbounce:

 

[Steely Dan]

I guess this isn't the thread for "some people can't find their butt with both hands and a flashlight"?

It might be more that they can't find the flashlight. :waitasec:

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Was this guy charged with possession of Meth and Crack? :waitasec:



:waitasec: WHAT!! YOU REMOVED A WHAT!! Now how did that get in there?! :innocent:

I worked at a hospital and part of my job was stocking drugs for the ED. Someone there told me that a guy came in with an 18" dildo up his buttocks crack and said he was painting and fell off the ladder onto it.

Linky

"Rectal Foreign Bodies" -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object /Number Recovered


Glass or ceramic

Bottle or jar ...................................32
Bottle with attached rope..................1
Glass or cup....................................12
Light bulb..........................................7
Tube.................................................6

Food

Apple................................................1 (?)
Banana.............................................2
Carrot..............................................4
Cucumber........................................3
Onion...............................................2 (?)
Parsnip.............................................1
Plantain (with condom).....................1 :waitasec:
Potato..............................................1 (?)
Salami..............................................1
Turnip...............................................1
Zucchini............................................2

Wooden (just the thought of splinters!!! )

Ax handle.........................................1 (Redneck)
Stick or broom handle......................10
Miscellaneous or unspecified..............3

Sexual Device

Vibrator............................................23*
Dildo................................................15

Kitchen device

Dull knife...........................................1
Ice pick.............................................1
Knife sharpener.................................1
Mortar pestle.....................................2 (Pharmacist?)
Spatula (plastic)................................1
Spoon..............................................1
Tin cup..............................................1 (Prisoner?)

Miscellaneous tools

Candle..............................................1
Curling Iron.......................................1 (on or off?)
Flashlight..........................................3
Iron rod............................................1
Pen...................................................2
Rubber tube......................................1
Screwdriver......................................1
Toothbrush.......................................1
Wire spring........................................1

Inflated device

Balloon..............................................1
Balloon attached to cylinder...............1
Condom............................................1

Ball How do you get these things up there? :waitasec:

Baseball..............................................2
Tennis ball...........................................1
Pool cue ball........................................1

Miscellaneous containers

Baby powder can.................................1
Candle box .........................................1 (?)
Shampoo Bottle...................................1
Snuff box.............................................1 (?)

Miscellaneous

Bottle cap............................................1
Cattle horn..........................................3 (Redneck)
Chain (gold)........................................1
Frozen pig's tail....................................1 (Redneck)
"Kangaroo tumor" #.............................1 (WTF!!!!!!!)
Hair Mousse Cap...................................1
Plastic rod.............................................1
Stone...................................................2
Toothbrush holder.................................1
Toothbrush package..............................1 (?)
Whip handle...........................................2*

Collections (one case of each)

2 Glass tubes
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
Oil can with potato stopper (?)
Piece of wood, peanut
Umbrella handle and enema tubing
2 Glasses (?)
Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
402 Stones (402?! 402!!! 402!!!!!) :tsktsk:
Toolbox ## (?)
2 Bars soap
Beer glass and preserving pot (?)
Lemon and cold cream jar
2 Apples (?)
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine (?)
total of 14 collections, with approximately 500 objects

I don't see small furry animals on here..FORGIVE ME, I AM a member of PETA!! But we had a very prominent businessman come in to a hospital where we did the billing for the ER doctors. We, along with the hospital involved were taken to court for letting the story out that he was seen for having a Gerbil up his butt..The terrible things they do for a 10 minute thrill and years of embarrassment. Thank God the poor little Gerbul died. Can you imagine the cost of food he would have had all these years!!

 

[Steely Dan]

I don't see small furry animals on here..FORGIVE ME, I AM a member of PETA!! But we had a very prominent businessman come in to a hospital where we did the billing for the ER doctors. We, along with the hospital involved were taken to court for letting the story out that he was seen for having a Gerbil up his butt..The terrible things they do for a 10 minute thrill and years of embarrassment. Thank God the poor little Gerbul died. Can you imagine the cost of food he would have had all these years!!

Did he win the case? It seems stupid to sue because then it's put out even more so.

 

[Donjeta]

Eww... when people have butterflies in the stomach, how did they get there?

 

[Steely Dan]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eghL7ORV1lg[/ame]

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Eww... when people have butterflies in the stomach, how did they get there?

:floorlaugh::floorlaugh: They say we swallow spiders in our sleep! Don't leave the windows open!!

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Did he win the case? It seems stupid to sue because then it's put out even more so.

I don't know if he won..We left the city where it happened right after it happened. People still claim it never happened but I know for a fact it did! Don't want to say too much. The gerbil furniture police might still be watching! LOL

 

[PickieChickie]

I thought everyone knew the term CRACK came about because the butt crack is the common place to store your rock cocaine!

 

[DollyPardonMe]

I thought everyone knew the term CRACK came about because the butt crack is the common place to store your rock cocaine!

Pardon Me, There are some of us that have a crack closer to our hearts to store ours...LOL (Just kidding)