Nancy Garrido - thread #2

[kbl8201]

BTK was a monster and had kids who liked him, so that's nothing new. PG thought he owned the girls and was paranoid or he'd never have said that he slept with them since they were born. He knew he could never allow them real freedom or to ever have their own lives. They've never been seen anywhere normal (including that alleged birthday party thrown by his buddy) or without him that I've heard of. They were forced to participate in his religious psychosis and rantings, hauled around to junk yards, barber shops, and humiliated even though they might not have realized it. He was in no way caring and they didn't have much of a life at all. From the sound of some reports, they didn't even have a good diet or much variety either.

btk there was a great guy. guy euthanized a womans cat just cause he didnt like the woman............that should have set off alarm bells dont you think?
there's a special (hot) place reserved for garrido and his wife when they go.......

 

[Natal]

I can appreciate the thought that perhaps PG "softened" a bit after the girls were born. Sometimes the sight of one's own offspring can bring out a part of a person which wasn't as visible or evident before. The way you stated it as "some level of affection" is much more palatable and realistic than the idea that he truly could have been a "caring parent."

My definition of "caring parent" apparently differs greatly from others'. To me, a "caring parent" is a term which will never ever be synonymous with someone whose parenthood occurred because they raped a little girl. You may not feel comfortable taking the leap to say "that he was a monster as far as the kids were concerned," but I am comfortable taking that leap. Regardless of whether or not he abused them in an outward way, they were abused, neglected, and/or mistreated by him from the moment of their violent, illegal, and non-consensual conceptions. Taking them on a few outings years later doesn't really balance that out for me.

Well, you were neither him nor them. As far as their relationship was concerned the important thing was his attitude towards them, and their attitude towards him. You are placing yourself in their position and looking at the situation as you would have seen it based on your upbringing, which is the wrong thing to do. If you want to understand the situation properly, you have to try to look at it in the way they would have looked at it, which is likely very different.

 

[kbl8201]

Well, you were neither him nor them. As far as their relationship was concerned the important thing was his attitude towards them, and their attitude towards him. You are placing yourself in their position and looking at the situation as you would have seen it based on your upbringing, which is the wrong thing to do. If you want to understand the situation properly, you have to try to look at it in the way they would have looked at it, which is likely very different.

they look at it diffrently cause they dont know any better. not like they knew what was going on was diffrent then what happened in the outside world.

 

[mysteriew]

Article on Inside Edition website about interview with Nancy Garrido's brothers, David and Rey Bocanegra:

http://www.insideedition.com/news.aspx?storyId=3433

The brothers describe her almost like St. Theresa don't they? Still even the neighbors and others have described her as quiet and reclusive. No history of drub abuse when younger, but her more recent employment history does show a problem.

I didn't see anything really different or unknown in the article, but the bros. do say that Nancy's defense attorney has told them she has started cooperating with LE now. Of course that is from a defense attorney and with no idea of the level of cooperation. Still I do hope she is talking.

 

[Natal]

^^Doesn't matter, it was their relationship, not yours, the level of caring and affection would be defined by them, not you.

 

[Natal]

I didn't see anything really different or unknown in the article, but the bros. do say that Nancy's defense attorney has told them she has started cooperating with LE now. Of course that is from a defense attorney and with no idea of the level of cooperation. Still I do hope she is talking.

That suggests that they have worked out a deal.

 

[flourish]

Well, you were neither him nor them.

Very well aware of that fact. In fact, I wasn't speaking for the girls. I was referring to an earlier poster who stated that the G's tried to be "caring parents."

As far as their relationship was concerned the important thing was his attitude towards them, and their attitude towards him.

I disagree that "his attitude towards them, and their attitude towards him" was the important thing. Sure, that's important. So is providing shelter and education and proper nutrition and not raping one's mother, and that kinda supersedes attitude for me.

You are placing yourself in their position and looking at the situation as you would have seen it based on your upbringing, which is the wrong thing to do. If you want to understand the situation properly, you have to try to look at it in the way they would have looked at it, which is likely very different.

Again, how the girls view it is a whole different topic altogether, and not the topic I was discussing. Sure do appreciate a condescending lesson on perspective, though, so thanks for that.

 

[Natal]

Be that as it may, you are still talking from your perspective and not theirs, which is what I was talking about.

 

[kbl8201]

^^Doesn't matter, it was their relationship, not yours, the level of caring and affection would be defined by them, not you.

caring and affection? ok where my puke icon
:sick:

 

[MBK]

If ALL you've known is a sick, perverted father who feels the strange and disturbing need to SLEEP with you in his arms every night

If ALL you've ever known is not to know the horrible truth of your parentage, and to be essentially LIED to every day about that truth

If ALL you've ever known is to be largely deprived of an education

If ALL you've ever known is to live in an uninhabitable house and backyard tents

etc etc

I suppose you'd think it was normal. I suppose you'd THINK that this perversion was LOVE. But we KNOW that this is not right. What was being done to those girls every day, all day, on a day to day basis, is essentially a crime, and children have been taken away by CPS for far, far less.

 

[kbl8201]

If ALL you've known is a sick, perverted father who feels the strange and disturbing need to SLEEP with you in his arms every night

If ALL you've ever known is not to know the horrible truth of your parentage, and to be essentially LIED to every day about that truth

If ALL you've ever known is to be largely deprived of an education

If ALL you've ever known is to live in an uninhabitable house and backyard tents

etc etc

I suppose you'd think it was normal. I suppose you'd THINK that this perversion was LOVE. But we KNOW that this is not right. What was being done to those girls every day, all day, on a day to day basis, is essentially a crime, and children have been taken away by CPS for far, farr less.

:woohoo:

 

[cindysue]

^^Doesn't matter, it was their relationship, not yours, the level of caring and affection would be defined by them, not you.

Caring and affection can be rationalized in any situation, you could say that Jeffery Dahmer was showing care and affection by keeping body parts of his victims under his bed. But it doesnt make it true does it. I know this is a different situation, but still there is a very lopsided balance of power where PG and the girls are concerned, they dont know if they are abused or not they have been brought up this way. Just as abused women think getting flowers after abuse is thier husbands way of showing care and affection. You cant look at in a warped point of view that just doesnt work. Even if it seems like caring and affection to them it isnt and thats the point.

 

[kbl8201]

Caring and affection can be rationalized in any situation, you could say that Jeffery Dahmer was showing care and affection by keeping body parts of his victims under his bed. But it doesnt make it true does it. I know this is a different situation, but still there is a very lopsided balance of power where PG and the girls are concerned, they dont know if they are abused or not they have been brought up this way. Just as abused women think getting flowers after abuse is thier husbands way of showing care and affection. You cant look at in a warped point of view that just doesnt work. Even if it seems like caring and affection to them it isnt and thats the point.

:woohoo: again. thanks for putting my words down for me guys. if i said what i was really feeling i'd be in trouble......

 

[flourish]

:woohoo: again. thanks for putting my words down for me guys. if i said what i was really feeling i'd be in trouble......

I second that....I've been trying for three pages to get that same point across. :banghead:

 

[Natal]

So, let me get this right, if they believe that they loved their father and they were happy, you would feel obliged to tell them no, they were wrong, they weren't happy and they didnt love him? If you were to do that you are essentially implying that they did something bad, that they have something to be ashamed of and should hide. You will create feelings of guilt and conflict in them that didnt exist before, and eventually that is going to eat away at their psyche. And they are not going to be able to talk about it, because if they don't agree with you they will feel that they are evil?

This is what I was talking about in an earlier post, people coming along down the line and being judgemental. It is tremendously damaging to victims and children in this sort of situation.

 

[cindysue]

They could love him but that doesnt mean its healthy or even good for them. An abusive husband claims to love his wife that he batters, but its not really love its distorted. Has PG shown real love for them? Do they know what love means or is it just what they have learned love is by the very limited examples they have to emulate. Real love isnt sick and perverted and twisted like what has been exampled in this situation. IMO

 

[kbl8201]

They could love him but that doesnt mean its healthy or even good for them. An abusive husband claims to love his wife that he batters, but its not really love its distorted. Has PG shown real love for them? Do they know what love means or is it just what they have learned love is by the very limited examples they have to emulate. Real love isnt sick and perverted and twisted like what has been exampled in this situation. IMO

hopefully they are being showed what real love is now :waitasec:

 

[checkercab]

NG may have said she was the mother, but I was referring to your reference to the G's as "caring parents"
1) Do we really know for sure that his predatory violence stopped?
...

:detective: 1) no, and i'm afraid PG could resume. May i try to answer this
question on the Psychological Aspects thread? :cat:

 

[flourish]

:detective: 1) no, and i'm afraid PG could resume. May i try to answer this
question on the Psychological Aspects thread? :cat:

Of course

 

[Natal]

If there is a possibility that Jaycee might flake when it comes to testifying, I wonder if they will offer Nancy a deal to ensure that PG gets convicted on all charges?