now blame men for hot flushes

[CuriousGrace]

Yes...but she died in the womb because of a then-undiagnosed blood disorder which I have. I carried her "that way" until nature took its course.

In my lifetime I've lost the man I love, my momma, my sister. But losing that little girl was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, bar none.

Her name was Grace Elizabeth. She would be 13 now.

Awwwww my Lord - my heart sank reading your message. It literally sank to it's lowest post. I am a little bit speechless. You are the most loving kind compassionate woman - it is hard hearing this from you.

I am so very sorry. I can not imagine how you personally feel - I have had my own personal experiences with pregnancy and it is such a personal, traumatic and heartbreaking experience that stays with you forever. It literally eats away at your soul and whole being, it is such a personal journey, it is difficult to put into words, I have utmost sympathy for you.

I feel awful now that I brought it up Grace is beautiful name, if I do say so myself. And I must say mytee, you are an amazing woman. I really look up to you, you have been a great help to me on here and you are a hard worker and you have the best personality - it really translates into web world - I can always feel your affection from so far away. Sending my love to you, as I always do, because I have been thinking about you so much with your commitment to Daryn, I want you to take care of yourself too. I hope they can reactive the thread here for him too. XOXOXOXOXO

 

[Sonya610]

What The Lord???? So you followed through with the pregnancy?! (It's very personal, not required to answer of course). x

There are in vitro tests to uncover obvious serious chromosomal abnormalities if folks choose to use them.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

Awwwww my Lord - my heart sank reading your message. It literally sank to it's lowest post. I am a little bit speechless. You are the most loving kind compassionate woman - it is hard hearing this from you.

I am so very sorry. I can not imagine how you personally feel - I have had my own personal experiences with pregnancy and it is such a personal, traumatic and heartbreaking experience that stays with you forever. It literally eats away at your soul and whole being, it is such a personal journey, it is difficult to put into words, I have utmost sympathy for you.

I feel awful now that I brought it up Grace is beautiful name, if I do say so myself. And I must say mytee, you are an amazing woman. I really look up to you, you have been a great help to me on here and you are a hard worker and you have the best personality - it really translates into web world - I can always feel your affection from so far away. Sending my love to you, as I always do, because I have been thinking about you so much with your commitment to Daryn, I want you to take care of yourself too. I hope they can reactive the thread here for him too. XOXOXOXOXO

Thanks so much for the kind words. You have no idea how I needed to hear them right now! (Hugs).

No need to feel bad about bringing it up. In fact, it gives me the opportunity to point out to any female in her child bearing years:

If you have had any miscarriages, INSIST they do extensive blood tests for underlying conditions that could be causing them. This was not done in my case, and it took years of sickness, symptoms, miscarriages, Grace dying, TIAs, and ultimately a brain aneurysm before anyone figured out what was going on. And when they did uncover the disorder, my neuro told me that the doctors should have discovered the disorder years before...and had they done so, I'd probably have my Gracie right now.

The irony is that in retrospect it is obvious that I'd been having TIAs (a byproduct of the blood disorder) since I was 19, but since I was so young, doctors assumed it had to be "something else." So I went years with misdiagnoses...including the "diagnosis" that it was "all in my head."

So Ladies, take your health and the health of your unborn children (or future children) into your own hands and insist those tests be done!lease:

 

[Treelights]

Thanks so much for the kind words. You have no idea how I needed to hear them right now! (Hugs).

No need to feel bad about bringing it up. In fact, it gives me the opportunity to point out to any female in her child bearing years:

If you have had any miscarriages, INSIST they do extensive blood tests for underlying conditions that could be causing them. This was not done in my case, and it took years of sickness, symptoms, miscarriages, Grace dying, TIAs, and ultimately a brain aneurysm before anyone figured out what was going on. And when they did uncover the disorder, my neuro told me that the doctors should have discovered the disorder years before...and had they done so, I'd probably have my Gracie right now.

The irony is that in retrospect it is obvious that I'd been having TIAs (a byproduct of the blood disorder) since I was 19, but since I was so young, doctors assumed it had to be "something else." So I went years with misdiagnoses...including the "diagnosis" that it was "all in my head."

So Ladies, take your health and the health of your unborn children (or future children) into your own hands and insist those tests be done!lease:

God Bless you my_tee_mouse! I am saddened abour your loss of Grace Elizabeth, and I am saddened about your health issues. I am glad to see you posting. Hugs!!!

 

[Treelights]

Awwwww my Lord - my heart sank reading your message. It literally sank to it's lowest post. I am a little bit speechless. You are the most loving kind compassionate woman - it is hard hearing this from you.

I am so very sorry. I can not imagine how you personally feel - I have had my own personal experiences with pregnancy and it is such a personal, traumatic and heartbreaking experience that stays with you forever. It literally eats away at your soul and whole being, it is such a personal journey, it is difficult to put into words, I have utmost sympathy for you.

I feel awful now that I brought it up Grace is beautiful name, if I do say so myself. And I must say mytee, you are an amazing woman. I really look up to you, you have been a great help to me on here and you are a hard worker and you have the best personality - it really translates into web world - I can always feel your affection from so far away. Sending my love to you, as I always do, because I have been thinking about you so much with your commitment to Daryn, I want you to take care of yourself too. I hope they can reactive the thread here for him too. XOXOXOXOXO

What a beautiful kind post.
We all love my_tee_mouse!!!
I am saddened that you had personal pregnancy issues as well as my tee....
God Bless!

 

[my_tee_mouse]

Awww!!!! Ya'll bring tears to my eyes! I'm so touched and so blessed to have ya'll in my life!


:grouphug:

 

[Treelights]

Awww!!!! Ya'll bring tears to my eyes! I'm so touched and so blessed to have ya'll in my life!


:grouphug:

Awe!!!!
You are an asset to Websleuths my_tee_mouse, and a neat person!
I was having my_tee_mouse withdrawals the other day!!

 

[my_tee_mouse]

Teeheehee! I was having WS withdrawals myself, for sure. Thank goodness for...er..."less intense threads and cases."

 

[CuriousGrace]

Thanks so much for the kind words. You have no idea how I needed to hear them right now! (Hugs).

No need to feel bad about bringing it up. In fact, it gives me the opportunity to point out to any female in her child bearing years:

If you have had any miscarriages, INSIST they do extensive blood tests for underlying conditions that could be causing them. This was not done in my case, and it took years of sickness, symptoms, miscarriages, Grace dying, TIAs, and ultimately a brain aneurysm before anyone figured out what was going on. And when they did uncover the disorder, my neuro told me that the doctors should have discovered the disorder years before...and had they done so, I'd probably have my Gracie right now.

The irony is that in retrospect it is obvious that I'd been having TIAs (a byproduct of the blood disorder) since I was 19, but since I was so young, doctors assumed it had to be "something else." So I went years with misdiagnoses...including the "diagnosis" that it was "all in my head."

So Ladies, take your health and the health of your unborn children (or future children) into your own hands and insist those tests be done!lease:

Thank you for sharing. It's critical to remind woman of this and it's really important for woman to be intune with their bodies and their own fertility, it is okay to seek a 2nd, 3rd or 4th opinion! I am really sorry for all your health issues, it really sounds like you have been put through the wringer, but it has not dampened your infectious personality and kindness for others. My Mom also had a brain aneurysm (when she was 40). If your experience was anything like hers, then you are one incredibly brave woman. She had symptons that were not treated correctly and we found her having a seizure in her bed one night when it ruptured. She spent a month in an induced coma in ICU and had lifesaving brain surgery by neurosurgeons, followed by over 6 months of rehabilitation in hospital.

Unfortunately, you're only ever going to get the real answers from the surgeons such as neuros who have extreme indepth knowledge for the root of why most medical problems arise.

Glad to see you back mytee, I had to laugh the other day when she said you were logging off for some R&R and you were posting again 5 minutes later, LOL! WS totally get's the better of us! :floorlaugh:
ps. Hi Treelights! Thank you for your message too!

:grouphug:

 

[TrackerSam]

So basically what he's saying that once the women got too old the men stopped having sex with them and there was no longer any point in being fertile because the ladies weren't getting any action?

JMO but I'm not too sure I believe this theory that preferential mating explains why fertility in older women died out. Women don't have to be a man's preferred mate to become pregnant, they just have to have sex with a fertile male, and many older women have no problems finding a male to have sex with even if the guys might rather be out having fun with eighteen year old twins with big *advertiser censored*.

I think it's more to do with the long life span of humans and the relatively long time that the offspring needs their parents to survive and prosper. The risks of pregnancy rise as women grow older, both for the woman and the baby, even with the current state of medical care today, and I expect they may have done so even in the early days. The grandmother theory seems to have some merit as an active grandparent may help in the child rearing and increase the children's chances of growing up, but I think that considering the long time that human children are somewhat dependent on their parents it might have been an advantage for the existing children if the mother stopped reproducing after having them, so A) she didn't die in childbirth in her next pregnancy, leaving her little ones orphaned and without care B) she had a chance to feed all of her brood because there weren't so many C) she wasn't as tempted to throw her previous little olive branches into the wilds to take care of themselves because she had her hands so full. And D) there would have been little point in being fertile after the age that you were likely to die before you had managed to raise your last child.

These days women may of course live happily for decades after their last child has left the nest but the life expectancy used to be much shorter when this all this evolutioning was taking place and many women would have died well before the current menopausal age anyway.

Another thing to consider is that with females, chromosomal abnormalities increase with the mother's age, so if 60- or 70 year olds were having babies they could be too ill to survive anyway, even if the mother lived long enough to feed them until they could fend for themselves. So there could have been little point evolutionarily in using scarce resources to nurture pregnant elderly ladies who would give birth to babies who were unlikely to survive into adulthood.



:cow:

This is my thinking as well. Unlike most animals, our youngins require many years before they're able to fend for themselves and as you've pointed out, life spans and menpause were pretty equal back in the day. This makes sense IMO and according to Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

Thank you for sharing. It's critical to remind woman of this and it's really important for woman to be intune with their bodies and their own fertility, it is okay to seek a 2nd, 3rd or 4th opinion! I am really sorry for all your health issues, it really sounds like you have been put through the wringer, but it has not dampened your infectious personality and kindness for others. My Mom also had a brain aneurysm (when she was 40). If your experience was anything like hers, then you are one incredibly brave woman. She had symptons that were not treated correctly and we found her having a seizure in her bed one night when it ruptured. She spent a month in an induced coma in ICU and had lifesaving brain surgery by neurosurgeons, followed by over 6 months of rehabilitation in hospital.

Unfortunately, you're only ever going to get the real answers from the surgeons such as neuros who have extreme indepth knowledge for the root of why most medical problems arise.

Glad to see you back mytee, I had to laugh the other day when she said you were logging off for some R&R and you were posting again 5 minutes later, LOL! WS totally get's the better of us! :floorlaugh:
ps. Hi Treelights! Thank you for your message too!

:grouphug:

Shhhhh.....Don't tell anybody I'm here! lol

(Thanks for the sweet words. As for recovering from the aneurysm...I didn't have enough sense to know that I didn't have enough sense to be functioning for about two years afterwards. It takes a good while to get to full capacity..and "full capacity" is not what it was before the fact...but ya adjust. The fact that I am hard-headed helped, I'm sure).

The PLUS side to the blood disorder: None of the awful symptoms women usually have with menopause! So that was a win, I reckon.