GUILTY NY - Jeffrey Locker, 52, fatally stabbed, East Harlem, 16 July 2009

[Kateyes]

I feel so bad for the wife and family of this man. Her feelings must be a mass of confusion right now. I don't know why people put themselves in unsafe situations like this man did. Now days you can't afford to trust anyone...especially low life people. I suppose he felt safe with this hooker as he had seen her for awhile. I'm going to be blunt and just say what I think...if this man had kept his marriage vows and his pants up he would still be alive. I am hard hearted when it comes to cheating in a marriage. It doesn't matter if it is with a hooker or the wife's best friend. It's wrong and someone always gets hurt. Now this wife has to live feeling shame, humiliation, and confusion.

OK, lay it on me now :silenced:

Hey bobbiesangel- The only thing I am going to lay on you is to say how grateful I am for your post. You have said exactly what I was thinking, and I am so glad you put it into words! When my daughters got old enough to understand, I explained to them that the anatomy books had one thing wrong - the location of a man's brain. I told them a man;s brain was located in his crotch, no matter what they saw or read in their anatomy books. And I explained to them exactly what I meant by that! Lately, reminders of that principle are everywhere!

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Hey bobbiesangel- The only thing I am going to lay on you is to say how grateful I am for your post. You have said exactly what I was thinking, and I am so glad you put it into words! When my daughters got old enough to understand, I explained to them that the anatomy books had one thing wrong - the location of a man's brain. I told them a man;s brain was located in his crotch, no matter what they saw or read in their anatomy books. And I explained to them exactly what I meant by that! Lately, reminders of that principle are everywhere!

To be fair minded, I just don't think that just applies to the male gender only though, imo.

Look at the married women who too have affairs? Those who do so behind the faithful husband's back. We even read about women leaving a good man to bed up with a who winds up molesting,murdering or abusing her own children and often she will even participate in that horrid behavior just because she is so afraid of losing that man who isn't even worth a piece of dirt to begin with. Are these women using their brains or thinking with their crotch? I see no brain power being used.

Infidelity isn't gender specific and never will be imo. Unfortunately it happens way too often where good men and women are betrayed and the children's lives are left in turmoil because one of their parents just happened to get that "itch."

imo

 

[sleutherontheside]

I think that losing a spouse brings unbearable pain for anyone who has experienced it.* What I think makes this case so much harder is for his widow to be forced to grieve while dealing with emotions that usually don't come into play.* "Who was my husband?"* "Why did he do this?"* "What else was he doing?"* "What else don't* I know?"* "Was my marriage ever real?"* "How could he be so selfish?"* " What the H*ll was he thinking?"* "Will they come after me?"* "What did he tell her / them about our family?"* "Is my family safe?"* "What will the world think of ME?"* Mourning a tragic loss is hard enough....but mourning it while dealing with the inevitable anger and resentment she will feel (all normal) can really mess a person up.* I hope she gets her privacy and space.* The family has so much more to handle then most people with a murdered loved one.* I hope they find peace and closure.

 

[scandi]

What I find consistent in cases like these many of these men have very solid families. They usually have a devoted wife and children who love them deeply and the male's age seems to be a consistent pattern as well.

I wonder if men go through some type of post depression as they age? Thinking that their lives are mundane and have mostly been about career, supporting and raising their families and very little about them as an individual. I often wonder if their home life has become so routine, boring between them and their spouses where they have very little closeness anymore, especially sexual contact. Do they crave for individual attention?

I have heard of many women who have done the same behind the backs of their devoted spouses and children but imo, I have noticed they tend to be in their late 30s to mid 40s.

Do these men who do these dangerous risky acts try to grasp a part of their youth they have lost when sex was exciting and wanted much more often?

I am feel very sorry for his wife and children left behind. Death is so final. No way of going back and asking him why in the world he would take such a risk knowing how it would deeply hurt his family. I know his wife's mind must be reeling from questions she has that will always remain unanswered now. The betrayal must feel overwhelming but if she loved him and I expect she did, she will have a lot of sadness and conflicted thoughts to deal with too.

These type of acts by spouses have brought down many a good family who is left behind to deal with it all... even if death doesn't occur like it did in this case.

imo

Hi Oceanblueeyes, It's always so good to see you ;}

When I was growing up we would have called this Male Menopause. Is there still such a thing or do they call it something different now?

5 girls we were and about died of embarrassment one afternoon when our dad drove up in his little Yellow Jaguar. He looked so silly and our mother explained what he was going thru. LOL

Funny thing. Every time he drove it the car broke down in some way, leaving him stranded along some road. And pretty soon it was just a fixture in the garage. Just sayin' xox

 

[Columbo]

I think that losing a spouse brings unbearable pain for anyone who has experienced it.* What I think makes this case so much harder is for his widow to be forced to grieve while dealing with emotions that usually don't come into play.* "Who was my husband?"* "Why did he do this?"* "What else was he doing?"* "What else don't* I know?"* "Was my marriage ever real?"* "How could he be so selfish?"* " What the H*ll was he thinking?"* "Will they come after me?"* "What did he tell her / them about our family?"* "Is my family safe?"* "What will the world think of ME?"* Mourning a tragic loss is hard enough....but mourning it while dealing with the inevitable anger and resentment she will feel (all normal) can really mess a person up.* I hope she gets her privacy and space.* The family has so much more to handle then most people with a murdered loved one.* I hope they find peace and closure.

And she might be wondering "what sexually transmitted diseases have I been unwittingly exposed to?"

 

[nursebeeme]

Hi Oceanblueeyes, It's always so good to see you ;}

When I was growing up we would have called this Male Menopause. Is there still such a thing or do they call it something different now?

5 girls we were and about died of embarrassment one afternoon when our dad drove up in his little Yellow Jaguar. He looked so silly and our mother explained what he was going thru. LOL

Funny thing. Every time he drove it the car broke down in some way, leaving him stranded along some road. And pretty soon it was just a fixture in the garage. Just sayin' xox

We call it MANopause in our house and my hubby got a motorcycle to alleviate his (THANK GOD)

 

[Emily Booth]

My minister used to say "where the light is the brightest, the shadows are the darkest".

 

[VCDaedalus]

Guys who seem to have everything always seem to want a little something more--in this case, the thrill of seamy sex, dangerous sex, sex with The Other.

This reminds me of that old joke that ends with, "Well, you see, they're aristocrats."

You can do the up-positive super-clean family-man Boy Scout spiritual-guru until your whole system rebels and you start to get ironic and perverse about your own calling.

I was watching an old B-movie called DOA in which a spiritualist meets the hero and says, "I'm a quack." Maybe Jeff Locker secretly believed he was getting away with something like quackery. If they only knew I was fressing some cheap hooker in Harlem, they'd be gobsmacked, ha ha ha!

 

[bogeygal]

POLICE MAKE ARREST IN MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER MURDER

http://wcbstv.com/local/jeff.locker.motivational.2.1096062.html

 

[bogeygal]

Suspect Claims Locker Killing Was Assisted Suicide

Snipped: The 52-year-old motivational speaker, a family man who lived on Long Island was found strangled in his car outside an East Harlem housing project. Police arrested a 36-year-old man, who, according to Commissioner Ray Kelly, "made a statement to the effect that the victim wanted himself killed; looking for someone to help him die to collect insurance money."

http://wcbstv.com/local/motivational.speaker.killed.2.1096988.html

 

[VCDaedalus]

More plausible or more ridiculous than the "he wanted me to tie him up like that, it was a sex thing"?

Hard to say.

 

[bogeygal]

More plausible or more ridiculous than the "he wanted me to tie him up like that, it was a sex thing"?

Hard to say.

I know, wonder what to think about the real motive. Was it really a planned robbery/murder or an assisted suicide according to the suspect?

That news today was like throwing a monkey-wrench into the mix of reasons why he was murdered.

 

[Boyz_Mum]

Suspect Claims Locker Killing Was Assisted Suicide

Snipped: The 52-year-old motivational speaker, a family man who lived on Long Island was found strangled in his car outside an East Harlem housing project. Police arrested a 36-year-old man, who, according to Commissioner Ray Kelly, "made a statement to the effect that the victim wanted himself killed; looking for someone to help him die to collect insurance money."

http://wcbstv.com/local/motivational.speaker.killed.2.1096988.html

Who did he "want" to collect insurance money? His wife? Following a money trail is often effective, is it the case in this situation? :waitasec:

 

[bogeygal]

Who did he "want" to collect insurance money? His wife? Following a money trail is often effective, is it the case in this situation? :waitasec:

Well said Boyz_Mum,

That's why in my opinion, thinking the suspect arrested just made that up. We'll see. Still believe it was the robbery motive.

 

[Boyz_Mum]

Well said Boyz_Mum,

That's why in my opinion, thinking the suspect arrested just made that up. We'll see. Still believe it was the robbery motive.

Robbery makes a lot of sense as far as the money we all know "they" stole from Mr. Locker. What doesn't make sense to me is that IMO, Locker could have been blackmailed into a lot more of a payoff (maybe?) This is all my opinion. I wonder if the wife, family has been cleared?

I'm sorry for being oppositional (I can't make up my mind no matter what!) but after watching a show about hitmen that can be hired for very little... I have to wonder? :waitasec:

 

[jnTexas]

Robbery makes a lot of sense as far as the money we all know "they" stole from Mr. Locker. What doesn't make sense to me is that IMO, Locker could have been blackmailed into a lot more of a payoff (maybe?) This is all my opinion. I wonder if the wife, family has been cleared?

I'm sorry for being oppositional (I can't make up my mind no matter what!) but after watching a show about hitmen that can be hired for very little... I have to wonder? :waitasec:

I agree they would've gained more by blackmale.
But....Maybe they had no idea who he was?? I had no idea who he was till this case. I agree they would've gained more by blackmale.

 

[bogeygal]

Robbery makes a lot of sense as far as the money we all know "they" stole from Mr. Locker. What doesn't make sense to me is that IMO, Locker could have been blackmailed into a lot more of a payoff (maybe?) This is all my opinion. I wonder if the wife, family has been cleared?

I'm sorry for being oppositional (I can't make up my mind no matter what!) but after watching a show about hitmen that can be hired for very little... I have to wonder? :waitasec:

I agree Boyz_Mum,

After they took his ATM card or whatever cash he may have had with him, it sounds like it was straight to the nearest ATM machine. Meaning that the "assisted suicide attempt" doesn't make sense.

I don't live in that area, but do live near NYC, and East Harlem is well known as a crime-ridden area.

I'm sure LE has checked Locker's financial transactions prior to his untimely death. If he really wanted these people to assist him in a suicide, there would be some monetary withdrawal's from his bank account prior. I don't think the suspect and/or his helper's would just be doing Mr. Locker a favor. As far as I know from the local news NJ/NYC, the family has been cleared. They are both shocked and devastated.

 

[Jesikah1]

Who would choose to be assisted in dying by being stabbed multiple times in their vital organs? That just does not seem plausible to me.
I think that this was straight up robbery and it pains me to think that with this type of defense, the media will dig up even more torrid details about this guys' indiscretions for the wife and children to have to deal with.
Like Mrs. McNair, I hope the wife has a strong support system around her, because I can not even fathom the devastation of both the loss and the betrayal of their loved ones that they are dealing with right now and that'll continue long into the future.

 

[Jesikah1]

In addition, wasn't the relationship of the victim to the main, unapprehended suspect was that she was his regular prostitute? How is the male suspect explaining his relationship to the victim? I somehow doubt this guy was sticking around after his "fun" time was over to socialize with his hooker's friends and acquaintances, let alone to plan an assisted suicide with multiple people. Of course I could be wrong, but that just seems ludicrous to me.

 

[mae]

I don't live in that area, but do live near NYC, and East Harlem is well known as a crime-ridden area.

This is not an entirely accurate statement.

Harlem has been gentrifying for awhile now, and this is no longer true. Harlem tends to have upswings and downswings, and it experiences pockets of higher than average crime, especially near housing projects (this is true all over NYC). But it is not "crime-ridden." In fact, crime has been drastically reduced in the recent years.

In the 32nd Precinct, which services Central Harlem above 127th Street, for example, between 1990 and 2008, the murder rate dropped 80%, the rape rate dropped 58%, the robbery rate dropped 73%, burglary dropped 86%, and the total number of crime complaints dropped 73%.

"Compstat - Volume 16 No.4 - 32nd Precinct": http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/downloads/pdf/crime_statistics/cs032pct.pdf.

NYC is unique in that the environment and atmosphere varies drastically even from block to block. And you can buy drugs and sex throughout all 5 boroughs in the most upscale of neighborhoods and in the worst.