OK OK - Stephen “Steve” Lee Murphy, last seen in Claremore sometime in 1976, not reported missing until July 2022

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OddOneOut said:
I don't know if public bulletin boards are still available. Back in 2002, when my grandmother died, I decided to try to find her youngest daughter (DD). She left the family after an argument with my grandmother. No one had heard from her in over a decade. DD had hiked all over the U.S. and Mexico so there was no hint of where she had gone. I found a public bulletin board for locating people and posted on it. Within hours, I received an email asking if I knew her SS number, date of birth, and where she was born. All I knew was her date of birth (I was one day off) and where she was raised (not where she was born). Within 24 hours, I received another email with her address and phone number. The person who helped me called himself Mr. Keane locater of lost persons.
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I worked as a summer intern for Social Security. You'd be surprised how quickly just a name and a little sorting would produce SS#, address, employer, wages, etc.
 
SweetDreamsAreMadeOfCheez said:
Yes the Pendleton 14 is what I was referring too.

You would think they would want to investigate each time he went UA, something was definitely happening. But with the final desertion being around the time of the Pendleton 14 that they would look into it more. For your sake I wish they would have. UA's seem odd for the same guy described in high school.
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I was able to contact one of the guys from Pendleton 14 and explained my situation to you. He did tell me that he didn't recognize Stephen or the name.
 
Simply Southern said:
I worked as a summer intern for Social Security. You'd be surprised how quickly just a name and a little sorting would produce SS#, address, employer, wages, etc.
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I have his name, DOB, place of birth, social security number, parents name, grandparents names. I even have address for him when he enlisted in the military. And I still can't find what happened to him. All I get is his SSN hasn't been active. And his fingerprints haven't shown up for anything. I can't declare him deceased unless I get an attorney.
 
Snoangel26 said:
When I was born my parents lived with Stephen's mother and step father in Tulsa. Shortly after my parents were in California. Than Stephen was gone. According to the divorce papers my mom said he left May of 1976. I haven't been able to locate anyone that was friends with them. Or anyone that actually remembers Stephen in school
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a late reply here.
When I first read your reply, I just go so sad. Such aloneness for everyone.
This is just all so painful, having such earnest effort to discover and keep coming up dry.

Given that you are having to scrape the earth anywhere for anything.......... have you ever tried to track down neighbors of Stephens parents in Tulsa? IF they had lived there a while a good while......... there were probably people that would certainly remember your dad. Even if they don't remember after they left for CA.
These old neighborhoods ARE trackable...though time consuming and hard.

Are you living anywhere near Tulsa?
I forget............ I think you had mentioned if your dad had siblings....but I forget?
Have you tried to find any family tree of his parents...that might show cousins?
Sorry if i am forgetting previous discussions.
 
jjonez said:
Great resource!
I see that they have a contact number for that 50 year class reunion I mentioned earlier.
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@snoangel..... any chance you can go to this reunion...?
You could get some more help...even if few remember him>
People could remember neighbors of his parents..
or places family members worked..
 
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I have used all my genealogy sites I frequent and the only record I can find is his marriage license, I assume to your mom. There are no census records with his parents pre 1975, and his records for registering with the selective service are not there. Literally your Dad is not on the map except for getting married. It is so strange. Praying you can find him
 
DoctorRose said:
Totally just my speculation so if I’m wrong just ignore me!:

What about looking for friends of Stephen’s parents? I feel like there’s some “family secret” aspect to this but my guess is it’s not even a big thing, it just seemed like it to them at the time. I feel like they at least thought they knew what happened and didnt want people to know, otherwise they’d be trying to figure it out too right? And they very well may have gone to their close friends for support.

I just get the feeling that someone knows something or knew something. And all you need is one loose thread to pull.

I guess that’s why your search for Stephen sticks with me. Because when he went missing or left or whatever happened, it seems like his family at the time were hurt or baffled or whatnot and tried to close off from the whole thing and from him. But now he has you looking for him and that’s so touching. You’re his family and you’re looking. That makes Stephen’s story brighter because he has you.
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Well, its nice to see you thinking with us as we do....
What I liked in your post was "some family secret to this but my guess its not even a big thing".
Many of us here on this thread might have lived life in the 70s,some not.
But they were strange days for teens and young adults.
The phrase "generation gab" is not referenced much now, but it was right up there with the "silent majority" back in the 70s.
So many of us were sortof counter culture in the 70s... Two of my friends who got married in the early 70s had their traditional ceremony in a church per custom, but had their friends sit up in a balcony above the pews so they could act out more !! I had been married just prior to them, and wished I had thought of that!

So it is quite easy to see how family, perhaps in good ol conservative Texas, just went silent on misgivings with their son. Happened all the time.


I think you discussed but forget.... What did your mother think he parents thought about her????
 
Or is there anyone in Tulsa who could put up some fliers for you? That’s the angle I was thinking before, just like attempting to find anyone who is still there who might remember your dad’s family. Like who would have potentially heard rumors of where he went in real time? People gossip, someone must have had some speculation about what happened to him. If you can find one of those people, even if they don’t know the true story, they might have a clue for you.

I also wonder if any media channels that air stories about cold cases would pick it up and investigate for you. Maybe an investigative reporter that has some tie to military veterans or to the time period.

I feel like there’s got to be a way to learn more, I don’t know why. Just something must be somewhere. Maybe reach out to investigative journalists who have written about the Pendleton 14. They may not know that someone went missing from there at that time.

You need to find the right person to get obsessed with Stephen’s case and go looking for needles in haystacks for you. Someone who has the tools needed to do that.

I also wonder if there are specific questions that you can ask your family that will reveal more info. Ones that seem trivial but would actually help you narrow things down.
 
SweetDreamsAreMadeOfCheez said:
I have used all my genealogy sites I frequent and the only record I can find is his marriage license, I assume to your mom. There are no census records with his parents pre 1975, and his records for registering with the selective service are not there. Literally your Dad is not on the map except for getting married. It is so strange. Praying you can find him
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im going to go back to a post that mentions something else....
hold on.
 
Gae said:
I'm just now seeing this thread, and I've just skimmed through it quickly, so forgive me if this has been mentioned previously - but there's someone on ancestry who lists him in their family tree and gives a date of death as 1976 in California. Have you seen that?
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@Gae
Another poster here just referenced only finding Steve in a marriage certificate....
Can you give the ancestry data to get to the chart you are referencing with his birth data....
I know I had scanned to, but didnt get to it.
 
nhmemorymaker said:
Or maybe we can find a surragate in the class to help!!!!
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Yeah see if you can send someone to represent you and your dad. I know that’s easier said than done. Or see if you can like send a letter to be read at the reunion? Give them the basic info and let them know to reach out to you. A lot of them probably have kids and grandkids and will feel emotionally connected to this story. They’d want someone to help their daughter in a similar situation.
 
I just googles "pro bono" services.....
so many...
Most seem to contain data based on state...
But maybe other minds here, can help you narrow in on possible pro bono services somewhere.
What state are you in now.

note: I did try to google pro bono for soldiers, or awol soldiers... most were those were only based on state so didnt go far.
 
@Snoangel26
I was sortof kidding about getting a surrogate to go to the Tulsa Reunion...
but not now.
You have some time to work with the people heading up the class reunion.

They might help now, or when the reunion comes about...to share the word.
I recently went to my 50th reunion.....we all learned soooooooooo much from others who had stuck around the area
or even about those who had gone far away.

Verbal stories and data could be collected for you.
I personally think they would make it "a big deal" for you.
Even if information gained might not be too pleasant.... you are obviously strong and determined and could let thiem know you want to know ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about the dad you never knew.
 
DoctorRose said:
Yeah see if you can send someone to represent you and your dad. I know that’s easier said than done. Or see if you can like send a letter to be read at the reunion? Give them the basic info and let them know to reach out to you. A lot of them probably have kids and grandkids and will feel emotionally connected to this story. They’d want someone to help their daughter in a similar situation.
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That is a good idea. Thank you. I will certainly reach out to them.
 
I live in Iowa
nhmemorymaker said:
I just googles "pro bono" services.....
so many...
Most seem to contain data based on state...
But maybe other minds here, can help you narrow in on possible pro bono services somewhere.
What state are you in now.

note: I did try to google pro bono for soldiers, or awol soldiers... most were those were only based on state so didnt go far.
Click to expand...
 
nhmemorymaker said:
@Snoangel26
I was sortof kidding about getting a surrogate to go to the Tulsa Reunion...
but not now.
You have some time to work with the people heading up the class reunion.

They might help now, or when the reunion comes about...to share the word.
I recently went to my 50th reunion.....we all learned soooooooooo much from others who had stuck around the area
or even about those who had gone far away.

Verbal stories and data could be collected for you.
I personally think they would make it "a big deal" for you.
Even if information gained might not be too pleasant.... you are obviously strong and determined and could let thiem know you want to know ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about the dad you never knew.
Click to expand...
I'm gonna look up the people going.
 
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