PA PA - Ray Gricar, 59, Bellefonte, 15 April 2005 - #13

Discussion in '2000's Missing' started by J. J. in Phila, May 26, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    First, I would like to thank everyone for having a lively, thought provoking, and civil discussion. :)

    Roughly 50% of the electorate in Centre County either goes to, went to, works at, or is retired from, Penn State. That excludes the relatives of those people that don't fit into those categories, people who make money indirectly from the university or students, and football fans.

    I don't know if they'd need more leverage than that.
     


  2. JaimeSommers

    JaimeSommers Active Member

    Messages:
    2,408
    Likes Received:
    98
    Trophy Points:
    38
    It wouldn't necessarily have to be PSU. There are a lot of powerful alums of this university. A raging Good Ol' Boys network from top to bottom.
     
  3. SeekingJana

    SeekingJana Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,502
    Likes Received:
    8,188
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I guess it's reasonable in hindsight to either assume that Mr. Gricar didn't make his recommendations " strongly" or that Sandusky and PSU chose to ignore the elephant in the room- the pedophilia. Maybe a combo of both..

    About women needing to leave their pasts behind them- I am sure that many very smart and savvy women have had spouses turn to criminal behavior or have had rank strangers start stalking them. This is NO reflection on the woman's character IF she does leave. As I said, I think that if there was a woman, she did leave separately. And stayed separate for years, possibly up to 5 years before beginning anything with Ray or rekindling an old relationship.
    Women are not responsible for the heinous acts of others any more than men are IF they do all they can do to get themselves to a safe place.
    Since all of this is hypothetical, I certainly don't think we have facts to judge. I am very sorry that you were in a relationship with a needy person who was not strong. Each of us has to be whole unto ourselves before we can give anything to anyone else, and sometimes one person does need more than they have a right to expect from another person. I hope your life is happy now. :)
     
  4. SeekingJana

    SeekingJana Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,502
    Likes Received:
    8,188
    Trophy Points:
    113
    THIS resonates with me more than PSU officials or coaching staffers.. Because with Sandusky, the number of people PSU would have had to pay off in 10 years would have been large.

    Thank you for adding an element from PSU but not " of" PSU that addresses what I believe fits into the roles people assume in scandals. I think it would be alums funding the hush money, if there was any, also, as you have said.
     
  5. Fromthedeepestjungle

    Fromthedeepestjungle New Member

    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Or it could go like this they were togehter friday morning heading to lewisburg someone else got wind of it and wanted to find out what was going on /which way would it go / in who's favor
     
  6. BigCat

    BigCat New Member

    Messages:
    800
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I didn't mean to give the impression I was placing any blame on a "weak" female, either hypothetically or in my past. Sorry I didn't make that clearer. I meant to suggest that there is often a lot of self-deception in playing the hero. Sometimes solving another person's problems is way to run away from one's own.

    (Yes, my life is happy now. **knock on wood** Thanks for your concern. :))
     
  7. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    People will probably know who RFG's old girlfriends were. They could be checked out.
     
  8. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Okay, I am playing Devil's Advocate here, but if we are talking about another woman, she could be a murderess.

    RFG was acting oddly. What if he wanted to break up with her? That could cause that. Perhaps it was a lovers' quarrel.
     
  9. SeekingJana

    SeekingJana Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,502
    Likes Received:
    8,188
    Trophy Points:
    113
    While I think you truly do believe this, :), I would like to point out that in most cases of people who have dating partners all throughout their lives, this is just not correct for some people with extensive dating histories and a knack for keeping their private life truly private.

    For example, I was on FB for 2 years. During that time, 3 men I had liked and been loved by and whom neither my family nor my friends knew contacted me to say they still felt the same way, would leave to be with me or we could pick a totally different place to live ( since I now live 1000 miles away), and so forth. I was dumbfounded. I never expected ANYONE to have those strong feelings for me, and certainly not after I have been married well over a decade and a half. It's been over 20 years since I've seen or talked to any of the three, although I could see from their FB profiles that they were still handsome, not married and were successful men.

    We need to be careful not to limit what we THINK can happen by our own experiences- especially if our own experiences are limited, J.J.
    I was very discreet and quiet about my dating years, and sometimes, I was casually dating 3-4 men at the same time, nothing serious in my mind about any of them. But they never met each othee or any of my other friends or my family. What I deemed casual, a few apparently wanted something much deeper ( maybe the absence grows fonder type of thing).

    Likewise, Ray could have done the same thing. You date outside your place of residence and definitely outside your work place, you date people who live out of state with traveling involved, you fly to a distant state quite often to meet the person. People do all that and it's still " casual" meaning " I'm not ready to make a commitment" or " We are both dating others". These are the thoughts and emotions that sometimes swing wildly to another level of commitment. A love grows from a friendly dating situation. Or one person becomes ill, and the other realizes how much they would miss them. And so forth.
    The strength of Ray's feelings at any given time might be summed up with the impromptu marriage proposal to a nurse he had just met..
     
  10. MissJ

    MissJ New Member

    Messages:
    2,844
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Go all the way back to HS if they do.
     
  11. MissJ

    MissJ New Member

    Messages:
    2,844
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Good points. My family and friends didn't always know who I dated. For good reason. Even the ones they knew....they might be surprised to learn the strength of feelings or lack of in many cases. RFG's proposal to the nurse was very interesting. he really had a sense of adventure. JMO
     
  12. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I was able to find someone, potentially, back to 1986.
     
  13. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Respectfully snipped

    There would be a record of those, in a server. We, those of us posting here, would not have the resources to check. LE definitely would.
     
  14. JaimeSommers

    JaimeSommers Active Member

    Messages:
    2,408
    Likes Received:
    98
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Great post. I am a very private person. Friends and family would only be able to name my ex-spouse and one significant other. RFG has consistently been described as private, so we should be open to the possibility that (if there were another woman) he told no one. It would also not have to be an old girlfriend.
     
  15. MissJ

    MissJ New Member

    Messages:
    2,844
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ok....share?
     
  16. MissJ

    MissJ New Member

    Messages:
    2,844
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No it wouldn't..could be an internet meeting. Happens all the time. I'm private too.
     
  17. BigCat

    BigCat New Member

    Messages:
    800
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Respectfully snipped

    But in this case I wouldn't say J.J.'s perspective is limited. It's my impression that J.J. shares many demographic similarities with RFG. He can correct me if I'm wrong. I have a little interest in discussing RFG's pension, but I acknowledge that if J.J. has put that much thought into RFG's pension, then certainly RFG put as much thought in it, if not more.

    Personally, I don't see the a man approaching retirement age running off with a woman, abandoning his identity and sacrificing his life savings. Unless, there was something hanging over his head. In which case, the woman is incidental to the primary reason for his disappearance.

    JMO
     
  18. Trackergd

    Trackergd Verified SAR Manager and Tracker - Retired

    Messages:
    4,198
    Likes Received:
    24,814
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Latching onto a comment upthread about RFG "would love to put one over on LE". Is there any indication that there was any adversarial relationship between various LE departments and RFG?
     
  19. BigCat

    BigCat New Member

    Messages:
    800
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Good question.

    In particular, I'm curious about the his relationship with the PSU police department.

    From the outside, there doesn't seem to be many issues of town vs gown in Centre County. Town and gown appear thoroughly integrated. Obviously someone from the area would have a better vantage point than me.
     
  20. J. J. in Phila

    J. J. in Phila Verified Insider

    Messages:
    7,872
    Likes Received:
    2,013
    Trophy Points:
    113

    It is in the FBI file; they missed a redaction. :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page



  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice