Sdavidson11
You are not alone in this journey
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2008
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Hugs to everyone who has shared their story of PTSD. It is amazing that we have a place to share and support each other. I was once told if you tell your story ten times out loud it will be less traumatic. It didn't work for me but it may work for others. This is a hard case for me to follow cause what happened to Travis is what I thought was gonna happen to me. I don't drink but right after this happened I would eat a one pound box of Whitman's Samplers. It didn't help. I do not believe JA has PTSD. I have been fighting to get my life back for over 20 years and still in therapy. Below is just a brief overview as to what I have gone through for the last 20 years.
After surviving my brutal kidnapping and rape by a man who escaped from a work release center and broke into my house on a Friday in November. As I returned home from work, I entered hell.
On November a man escaped from a work release in Bradenton, FL where he was serving a shortened eighty year sentence. He escaped from a work release program where he was the cook, he took an 18" butcher knife and broke into our house while my then husband and I were at work. He shot our dog in the head, who was a small Lassa Apso, and a member of our family with our gun that he found hidden in our master bedroom headboard. He waited for us to return from work while going through all of our things, took paperwork to assume my husbands identity, went through my pictures when I did photo shoot for a goldwing calander during college and made himself stuffed shells and sauce that I had made and put in the freezer. My husband returned first and was tied up in our office. I came home and with a gun to my head and a knife to my throat, was taken to our bedroom. I was blind folded, tied to our poster waterbed, my clothes were cut off of me using the knife that he stole from the work release, when he cut my shoes off I was stabbed under each middle toe and it hurt soooo bad I feel so bad for Travis, after being brutally raped multiple times he used the gun and knife inside of me leaving a knife wound on my left thigh and the inner private parts, he gagged me again cause he took it off so he could kiss me and stabbed the water bed repeatedly and I was left suspended in air held up by my restraints for hours. He informed me that he would kill me if I called the police and afterward found lighter fluid and gas soaked rags in a bag placed iin every room. I could not break free from my restraints, my husband eventually broke free and found me naked, tied to our bed and bloody. This person stole our car, our money, jewelery, my husbands identity and went on a 10 day crime spree. We were newly married and had done everything the right way. We built our house while planning our wedding and moved into together after our marriage in August. After the attack we had to sell our house because I couldn't go back , our insurance covered some of our losses but we were never made whole. Once captured, this man escaped from the county jail while awaiting trial using bedsheets tied together to scale down the building, I left the state for fear he had my new address and I was the only one to identify him as requested by the Sheriff's office. He was eventually captured later that night. I was only 22 years old at the time that this crime was committed against me.
I started working when I was 15 years old, worked during college and lived a responsible life. After this happened the counselors told us to try to move on and we did but this crime has haunted me. My husband left me when our daughter was 6 weeks old because every time he looked at me all he could see was finding me naked, bloodied and tied to our bed with duct tape. I eventually remarried a man I met at work who was a patient. He has been the sole provider for the last 21years. I have tried to work but have flash backs, anxiety, and post traumatic stress. Our health insurance doesn't cover psychiatric care and when I go to see a doctor and explain what I went through they tell me," it is what it is." We participated in the FL pre paid college program and have been homeowners in the state of Florida for over 20 years. While I try to be a good example to my children there are things that I just can not do because of the crimes committed against me such as, I have never taken my kids to the movie theater because of my fear of dark places, I rarely go to restaurants because of my fear of public places, when my daughter has choir or dance performances, I will attend but have to sit in the back near an exit because I have a feeling that I just can't get over if I feel trapped. This is just a few examples to show you just a little insight from a person through no fault of there own was forced into a life that is limited because of a choice that a prison official made in placing this convict into a work release program. Also at www.flsenate.gov/data/publications/2004/senate/reports/interim_reports/pdf/2004-127cj.pdf my case was at the forefront in changing the laws of work release to what they are today. I can't afford treatment for the mental problems that this has caused me, I can't work to help send my children to college, I couldn't return to school because I am claustrophobic after being tied up and raped, and I was recently told that I could apply for Social Security Disability but I don't know if I can do that because I would have to go to court and as an update I did apply and was denied. Having said this, why should people who broke the law have access to these things and the survivors are once again victimized. This perp was able to go back to school while in prison and become a dental tech.
Most people believe that something like this could never happen to them; it always happens to someone else because of where they live or what they do. I can testify to the fact that home invasion, violent crime and rape can happen to anyone; rich or poor, married or single, man or woman, black or white, this type of crime does not discriminate and neither do the criminals.
I would also like to share that when this happens it is not like in the movies. Your brain does protect you so that you aren't freaking out when bad things are happening to you. It is afterwards if you survive is when your brain brings back the trauma. I did not have a chance to experience the fight or flight because I was immediately stopped and because what Travis went through being held at gun point by strangers I don't think with JA he went into fight or flight until she stabbed or shot him. Your brain just doesn't allow you to think about it while its happening. Sorry for the long post. Justice for Travis and bless you all.
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After surviving my brutal kidnapping and rape by a man who escaped from a work release center and broke into my house on a Friday in November. As I returned home from work, I entered hell.
On November a man escaped from a work release in Bradenton, FL where he was serving a shortened eighty year sentence. He escaped from a work release program where he was the cook, he took an 18" butcher knife and broke into our house while my then husband and I were at work. He shot our dog in the head, who was a small Lassa Apso, and a member of our family with our gun that he found hidden in our master bedroom headboard. He waited for us to return from work while going through all of our things, took paperwork to assume my husbands identity, went through my pictures when I did photo shoot for a goldwing calander during college and made himself stuffed shells and sauce that I had made and put in the freezer. My husband returned first and was tied up in our office. I came home and with a gun to my head and a knife to my throat, was taken to our bedroom. I was blind folded, tied to our poster waterbed, my clothes were cut off of me using the knife that he stole from the work release, when he cut my shoes off I was stabbed under each middle toe and it hurt soooo bad I feel so bad for Travis, after being brutally raped multiple times he used the gun and knife inside of me leaving a knife wound on my left thigh and the inner private parts, he gagged me again cause he took it off so he could kiss me and stabbed the water bed repeatedly and I was left suspended in air held up by my restraints for hours. He informed me that he would kill me if I called the police and afterward found lighter fluid and gas soaked rags in a bag placed iin every room. I could not break free from my restraints, my husband eventually broke free and found me naked, tied to our bed and bloody. This person stole our car, our money, jewelery, my husbands identity and went on a 10 day crime spree. We were newly married and had done everything the right way. We built our house while planning our wedding and moved into together after our marriage in August. After the attack we had to sell our house because I couldn't go back , our insurance covered some of our losses but we were never made whole. Once captured, this man escaped from the county jail while awaiting trial using bedsheets tied together to scale down the building, I left the state for fear he had my new address and I was the only one to identify him as requested by the Sheriff's office. He was eventually captured later that night. I was only 22 years old at the time that this crime was committed against me.
I started working when I was 15 years old, worked during college and lived a responsible life. After this happened the counselors told us to try to move on and we did but this crime has haunted me. My husband left me when our daughter was 6 weeks old because every time he looked at me all he could see was finding me naked, bloodied and tied to our bed with duct tape. I eventually remarried a man I met at work who was a patient. He has been the sole provider for the last 21years. I have tried to work but have flash backs, anxiety, and post traumatic stress. Our health insurance doesn't cover psychiatric care and when I go to see a doctor and explain what I went through they tell me," it is what it is." We participated in the FL pre paid college program and have been homeowners in the state of Florida for over 20 years. While I try to be a good example to my children there are things that I just can not do because of the crimes committed against me such as, I have never taken my kids to the movie theater because of my fear of dark places, I rarely go to restaurants because of my fear of public places, when my daughter has choir or dance performances, I will attend but have to sit in the back near an exit because I have a feeling that I just can't get over if I feel trapped. This is just a few examples to show you just a little insight from a person through no fault of there own was forced into a life that is limited because of a choice that a prison official made in placing this convict into a work release program. Also at www.flsenate.gov/data/publications/2004/senate/reports/interim_reports/pdf/2004-127cj.pdf my case was at the forefront in changing the laws of work release to what they are today. I can't afford treatment for the mental problems that this has caused me, I can't work to help send my children to college, I couldn't return to school because I am claustrophobic after being tied up and raped, and I was recently told that I could apply for Social Security Disability but I don't know if I can do that because I would have to go to court and as an update I did apply and was denied. Having said this, why should people who broke the law have access to these things and the survivors are once again victimized. This perp was able to go back to school while in prison and become a dental tech.
Most people believe that something like this could never happen to them; it always happens to someone else because of where they live or what they do. I can testify to the fact that home invasion, violent crime and rape can happen to anyone; rich or poor, married or single, man or woman, black or white, this type of crime does not discriminate and neither do the criminals.
I would also like to share that when this happens it is not like in the movies. Your brain does protect you so that you aren't freaking out when bad things are happening to you. It is afterwards if you survive is when your brain brings back the trauma. I did not have a chance to experience the fight or flight because I was immediately stopped and because what Travis went through being held at gun point by strangers I don't think with JA he went into fight or flight until she stabbed or shot him. Your brain just doesn't allow you to think about it while its happening. Sorry for the long post. Justice for Travis and bless you all.
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