Terri very upset in the weeks before Kyron's disappearance

[LotsaLatte]

One thing to consider is that IF a person is capable of disappearing a child, they're certainly capable of telling stories about goings-on in their home. It's possible whatever Tarver knows, he was told by Terri (i.e., may not have had any conversations at all with Kaine about the matter).

BBM - Yep! If the son moved out in March and we are talking about "weeks" and not months before Kyron disappeared, sounds like maybe trying to make herself look like a victim in the making. IF TH actually did say anything and IF TH is responsible for Kyron's disappearance.

Either way, I've been in the situation that my older son did not get along with step dad. We also had a baby girl. Only in my case step dad was the problem. So, when he mentioned my older son was a problem, I dealt with it. I packed up all my children, baby girl as well, and got the heck out. I have a commitment to raise my children, not my ex. I left the big beautiful house to him completely and took 3 mouths to feed - and I never looked back.

 

[mtnone]

Wow - thanks. From what KH has said, he was actually the mediator between mom and the teenage son.

Not explicitly stated as a Terri lie BUT SOMEONE has misled media/people to believe that J permanently moved out of the Horman home and in with his biological father several months before Kyron disappeared. Also, SOMEONE has led certain media to believe it was because of a bad relationship with Kaine. According to Kaine, this is all untrue. First, he states that J had not permanently moved out of their home, but that J spent the summers with his father. When Kyron went missing it was decided, due to what was happening in the Horman home and the investigation, it was best that J stay with his father. Kaine also states that the “friction” was mainly between J and Terri. While he admits that he and J butted heads at time from typical teenage boy/father role disagreements, he stated that he and J have a good relationship and that there were lots of times Kaine was having to act as mediator between Terri and J. Apparently Terri was not handling dealing with J well.

From this tid-bit, it would appear that Terri was not handling her son very well, and could very well be telling friends the opposite to make KH look bad?

JMO MOO

Mel

[/B]

BBM. I don't think that is the case. I think J moved out of the Horman home in Mar (or maybe Jan, as someone mentioned the gp's saying). I think the issue Kaine was referring to was J staying for the summer.

Yes, I thought we had been told that the teen was sent to live with his grandparents in Jan, 2010. Then he moved in with his dad in March.

We don't know if this info came from people who had only been talking with Terri or both Terri and Kaine.

Kaine's answer to why the teen left made no sense at all. Maybe he meant the summer plans, but I don't think so. Much of what Kaine has 'explained' has only muddied the waters even more.

I don't think Kaine is guilty directly in this, but I might nominate him for the most detached, purposely vague person I have ever heard of. I am not sure if I believe he really was so unaware, or if he is trying to fool us or himself.

I have always considered the move to me a very strong part of the motive, if Terri had one, in this. I too feel very bad for the teen. So many victims in this.

 

[Aedrys]

Sounds to me like he was sent away in March, and then possibly came back before the summer, probably as "let's try this again" type of thing. I think he was probably butting heads with them both, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was more butting heads with his mother. She obviously cares more about herself than him or the baby. I actually feel sorry for him because I bet he's been butting heads with her, and Kaine got tired of that drama in their home, and then she gets mad because he dares to want that drama out of their home by making J go live with his adoptive father. TH strikes me as someone that wants things her way, even if that way is chaotic. She would have to be the one to decide that J has to leave, not Kaine. But it's Kaine house and he put his foot down, I bet, which really ticked her off.

And what does she do? Complain bitterly to her friends for months about it, making Kaine seem like a controlling jerk. She probably told the same to Tarver. And if J is anything like my brother when he got mad as a teenager, he's sulking in his room with a locked door and not talking to anybody. Teenage boys are not big talkers, and men in general don't talk, so I doubt he and Tarver were talking about this situation. Tarver just an earful from Terri most likely, and decided to take in J so that J wouldn't be in that situation anymore. He probably let J do his thing, and J was probably relieved to be out of TH and KH's home.

It makes sense to me if he was sent at the end of March, and Terri takes a few weeks to stew on it, who knows, maybe she and Kaine had more arguments about J after he left and it came to a boil. So she spends time venting to her friends about it and not getting her way with Kaine until he finally caves and says, "okay, we'll give J another try here." I think they were in the midst of that trial period when Kryon vanished, and so of course, J had to go back to Tarver. It makes perfect sense to me. Not all arguments are one time situations and that's it. People can argue over months about something. I have the feeling that household was the argue for months variety, probably with them giving each other silent treatments and the like. It probably wasn't the greatest environment for any of the three kids.

Maybe it's because I grew up in a family where arguments can last a long time that I understand this so clearly. I'm really not confused about this after thinking about it.

 

[Sherbie]

Well I would imagine he had some conversations with J about what was going on and when etc. I don't know why we'd assume that all info came from Terri. J is a teenager, not a young child. And Tarver knows timeframes because he's got J coming and going into his own home - that's not just something told him by Terri.

I sure hope he talked to his son about it! I meant that as far as any interaction among the adults, he may have gotten only Terri's version.

Also, in my experience, a teen is gonna process things very, very subjectively (and sometimes exaggeratedly). Some go through a period where they feel unfairly persecuted if you even ask them not to drink out of the milk carton or ask how their day was. So usually the perspective of a responsible loving adult helps determine an accurate picture. If an adult is helping to advance the feelings of the child, that can make things even worse.

Sorry, not sure what you mean about Tarver and the timeframe.

 

[Calliope]

Wait a sec. KH said in an interview that they always sent the teen son to be with his dad every summer.

Now since the only person to say this aloud is Kaine, I tend to believe him. Terri has never said in press interviews that KH kicked her son out of the house -- only told this to friends.

I'd like to know if the teenage son went to his dad's last year, and years before that. OR, what happened for KH to kick him out. That detail I haven't read about.

MOO

Mel

His father said the boy moved out some time ago, and it was because he was 'butting heads' with Kaine. He didn't move out of the home after Kyron went missing, as Kaine claimed (why???).

 

[Melanie]

You known, BeanE's post had me thinking. March is NOT summer. Did J go to school? If so, he would have to transfer since most schools let out in June. I looked at a few year round calendars, but didn't see any that would let out in March for the summer.

So yah, now KH's story about going to his dad's for the summer is raising my hinky meter.

MOO

Mel

ETA: does anyone know if TH home-schooled J?

 

[angelswatchoverthem]

I can see the situation of a child and a step parent under the same roof. This situation is exacerbated as a child gets older and more so when a step child is in their teens. A step child in a lot of cases feels like "they never fit in anywhere". I had this same problem with my eldest son. It is something for those of us who are not, or have never been a stepchild, that you can not relate to. This i'm sure is a big part in their "acting up". They just want to feel like they belong. And believe me my ex and i did everything we were advised to, as to what would be best for our son under the circumstances. And ours was not a complex or nasty separation.
Anyway aside from that, i feel if they go to grandparents, the grandparents would be confided in, if they love their grandchild. Step children that love and trust their grandparents will open up to them about their worries and problems.
Why is it ALWAYS the children that have to suffer through these decisions their parents make.
I am not pointing the blame at KH, but it does take 2 people to make a relationship work, and its not just one of the partners that are at fault.
We see how often that bad decisions that adults make leave their children in very vulnerable situations, sadly.
If Terri was really upset badly over something in her relationship, and if it was for real, then why not seek counselling for the whole family? If she did something out of revenge,to Kyron then this is just maliciousness to its extreme.

 

[Jules71]

You known, BeanE's post had me thinking. March is NOT summer. Did J go to school? If so, he would have to transfer since most schools let out in June. I looked at a few year round calendars, but didn't see any that would let out in March for the summer.

So yah, now KH's story about going to his dad's for the summer is raising my hinky meter.

MOO

Mel

ETA: does anyone know if TH home-schooled J?

I'm confused because I thought he moved OUT of the Horman home in March (that's what his Dad reported) - and then was coming back to stay for a summer visit when Kyron disappeared and they decided it would be best if he didn't. Two separate and different occasions.

 

[Melanie]

I'm confused because I thought he moved OUT of the Horman home in March (that's what his Dad reported) - and then was coming back to stay for a summer visit when Kyron disappeared and they decided it would be best if he didn't. Two separate and different occasions.

Wow - now I'm confused too. I thought J lived with TH and KH and went to his bio-dads for the summer.

If I'm wrong, would someone please correct me.

:waitasec:

Mel

 

[Calliope]

[/B]

BBM. I don't think that is the case. I think J moved out of the Horman home in Mar (or maybe Jan, as someone mentioned the gp's saying). I think the issue Kaine was referring to was J staying for the summer.

???

Now I AM confused. I thought he said the boy spent summers with his father?

And dad said in HIS interview that he was there to visit for the week... even though his school (if he attended public) didn't end until the following week. So why would he have come for a weeklong visit at that time, when dad says one of the reasons Terri sent him away was because he was having trouble in school?

This whole thing makes no sense whatsoever no matter who is telling the tale.

 

[Calliope]

Wow - now I'm confused too. I thought J lived with TH and KH and went to his bio-dads for the summer.

If I'm wrong, would someone please correct me.

:waitasec:

Mel

http://blogs.wweek.com/news/tag/ron-tarver/

http://wweek.com/editorial/3634/14214/

Tarver says Terri Moulton Horman sent the boy to Roseburg in March this year because his grades were slipping and he was acting out at home.

“He and Kaine on occasion butted heads, because the boy is hard-headed,” Tarver says.

-----

Tarver said Terri Horman had sent her son to live in the southern Oregon town of Roseburg last March because the boy’s grades at Lincoln High School in Portland were dropping and he was acting out at home, including butting heads with his stepfather, Kaine Horman. Tarver said the boy was living nearby with Terri Horman’s parents but frequently visited Tarver’s home.

With the latest news that Terri Horman relocated over the weekend to her parents’ home in Roseburg, we wondered whether the boy is still living in that same house. A judge has placed a restraining order on Terri Horman telling her to stay away from Kaine Horman and their 19-month-old daughter.

Reached by phone today, Tarver tells WW the boy moved out of Terri Horman’s parents’ house and into the Tarver house sometime in the past month. Tarver declined to elaborate on when the move happened or why, but he said it was before Terri Horman moved to Roseburg over the weekend.

 

[nursebeeme]

this is just my take on things from links/reports already attributed here at websleuths:

1) Th's son moves out in March to Terri's parents home.
a) Terri started complaining to her gym buddies in April or May that she was angry
with this
b) Son's bdad said Kaine and son butted heads but normal with a teenager and it is
also reported in the WW that Terri sent him away.
c) Kaine states in media interviews that the relationship was normal as per a teen
btwn he and the boy, but that he often had to act as a mediator btwn terri and
her son. Kaine stated that if anything 'happened' the boy would want to live
with him (Kaine)

2) the son returns to the horman home after his scouting/camping trip on either friday of Kyron's vanishing or saturday (two different media reports) to spend the weekend
a) his father hears about it a few days later and terri is heard by him yelling
in the background

3) his dad brings him back home (beit to terri's parents or otherwise) due to what is going on with Kyron
a) it seems he was (my interpretation per msm articles posted here) sent to
live initially with his grandparents but than ended up back at his Dad's
b) terri moves back home with her parents after agreeing to leave the family
home
---------------------------

I ~~think~~ the reason the whole thing makes no sense is because it doesn't make any sense at all... and thusly is suspicious and worth investigating.

 

[txsvicki]

When was Spring Break in Oregon? Maybe the teen was sent to live with his Dad then or told that he wasn't coming back after visiting for break?

 

[mysticrose]

Ok sooo Terri was upset a couple of months prior to Kyron's disappearance about Kaine making her son move out :waitasec: ..... but she put a alleged MFH out on him 7 months ago.

I would have to conclude that her being upset over something started way before this ......

 

[Jules71]

this is just my take on things from links/reports already attributed here at websleuths:

1) Th's son moves out in March to Terri's parents home.
a) Terri started complaining to her gym buddies in April or May that she was angry
with this
b) Son's bdad said Kaine and son butted heads but normal with a teenager and it is
also reported in the WW that Terri sent him away.
c) Kaine states in media interviews that the relationship was normal as per a teen
btwn he and the boy, but that he often had to act as a mediator btwn terri and
her son. Kaine stated that if anything 'happened' the boy would want to live
with him (Kaine)

2) the son returns to the horman home after his scouting/camping trip on either friday of Kyron's vanishing or saturday (two different media reports) to spend the weekend
a) his father hears about it a few days later and terri is heard by him yelling
in the background

3) his dad brings him back home (beit to terri's parents or otherwise) due to what is going on with Kyron
a) it seems he was (my interpretation per msm articles posted here) sent to
live initially with his grandparents but than ended up back at his Dad's
b) terri moves back home with her parents after agreeing to leave the family
home
---------------------------

I ~~think~~ the reason the whole thing makes no sense is because it doesn't make any sense at all... and thusly is suspicious and worth investigating.

THANKS!! I believe this is EXACTLY right! Way to go! :woohoo:

 

[Jasmine_xoxo]

When was Spring Break in Oregon? Maybe the teen was sent to live with his Dad then or told that he wasn't coming back after visiting for break?

usually 3rd week in March

 

[Calliope]

THANKS!! I believe this is EXACTLY right! Way to go! :woohoo:

Except, Kaine claims he was sent away after kyron went missing.


I'll be honest here. I don't know who the hell to believe anymore. But I'll say this... the boy's father has the least reason to lie about this out of any of 'em. He also would have heard directly from his son what was going on. So I'm sticking with his version of events.

 

[cluciano63]

If true, (that Terri was mad at Kaine about her son) this could be potential, albeit extreme and psychotic, motive, but to have it go on for this long makes me fear for Kyron more rather than less. I think he would have magically "reappeared" by now, if it were possible. I'm still thinking either it was not Terri or that it is too late to bring him back (If not Terri, still probably too late.)

Not sure if a lawyer would ask the question "Do you know of a way for Kyron to come home safely"? It seems the least a decent person could ask, even a defense attorney, when a child's life is at stake, but I am sure there are reasons/excuses why he might not ask. Although if she said "no" that would not be incriminating, necessarily.

I am still not sure Terri did anything-having someone else in the car does not prove it, being mad at Kaine does not prove it. I hope LE has just a little more so I can decide. I would appreciate it

 

[evelyn24]

An acquaintance of Terri Horman, who asked to remain anonymous, said Monday Terri was very upset in the weeks before Kyron vanished because she said her husband, Kaine, was making her teenage son move out of the couple’s Portland home.

According to the acquaintance, Terri Horman came to a 24-Hour Fitness a month to two months before Kyron disappeared and said Terri was furious, and kept complaining to anyone who would listen, that Kaine was allegedly making her teenage son move out.

Terri’s son did move out of the home in March.

Friends, who worked out with Terri Horman at that 24-Hour Fitness, testified before a grand jury Monday.

According to sources, the friends were not extremely close to Terri but they were close enough that Terri often confided in them with issues from her home.


*********much more at link

http://www.katu.com/news/local/100309979.html

Sorry not believing her friends telling things to the media because they've lied before about things including TH and Desiree being friends.

 

[Jules71]

Except, Kaine claims he was sent away after kyron went missing.


I'll be honest here. I don't know who the hell to believe anymore. But I'll say this... the boy's father has the least reason to lie about this out of any of 'em. He also would have heard directly from his son what was going on. So I'm sticking with his version of events.

I have not heard Kaine say that - but I believe he must be referring to when J came back to the Horman home after his camping trip, and J's dad heard Terri yelling in the background over the phone. Does that make sense?