At times I was deeply uncomfortable with what I felt was a vigilante mentality in the threads and was unwilling to ascribe every single anecdote as an indicator of GBC being a foul and blackhearted murderer who had been roaming around with a figurative dagger up his sleeve for years prior to Allison's murder.
That said, I never truly expected GBC to be found not guilty. I always felt he was guilty. I couldn't see a logical alternative explanation. The simplest, most likely explanation is usually the truth. However, because the whole affair as a catalyst scenario didn't really ring true for me, I did wonder if he might get off. Not as an innocent man, but on a technicality, so to speak.
I didn't feel any kind of triumph or disappointment at the verdict
I actually felt deeply depressed. I just felt like the girls were probably, deep down in their little hearts, hoping that somehow it would be found that Daddy didn't murder Mummy. The Dickies were still going to have to go home that night and tell them that Daddy is now officially a convicted murderer. I really, really had hoped for a viable alternative scenario, for the sake of his daughters, but I couldn't think of one that would also be fair to Allison.
I have no opinion on the Baden-Clays - I really don't know if they were involved at all, but if they weren't, I can feel for them. A son, a brother, is a convicted murderer. A child borne from your womb, a childhood playmate.
I have been transfixed by the human drama of it all. How one man, who had the world at his feet in his youth, managed to completely and totally ruin his life and the life of most of the people he touched. I find it jaw-dropping that one person could have such a negative impact on so many people and yet somehow seem oblivious to it all. Even though I already felt that GBC was a weak and flawed man, the titbits coming out now shock me anew. The utter selfishness and lack of empathy for others, particularly his daughters, is breathtaking. All to maintain a certain facade that he felt was desirable. He was all about the money, the image, social standing. He couldn't see the treasure that he already had (supportive family, a beautiful and intelligent wife who wanted a full and loving relationship with him, 3 delightful children, the ability and means to support a fairly comfortable lifestyle if only he could be honest about his net worth and cut his cloth accordingly) was worth far more.
This is a truly a tragedy, echoes of which will still be felt in the next generation.
Someone posited in an earlier thread that perhaps Allison would have been happy for her daughters to still have their father bringing them up despite his actions and perhaps a not guilty verdict could be acceptable with that in mind. I thought about that a lot, but concluded that Allison's marking of her killer was answer enough. No, I don't believe so, but I understand the thinking behind it. With everything we know about GBC, a GBC that had literally gotten away with murder would be a dangerous man indeed.
I hope the shock of his immense fall from grace is the catalyst for some serious soul-searching and rehabilitation. And my love goes out to those little girls, that they can find a way to live with this knowledge and history and form relationships of love and trust.
