Found Deceased UK - Nicola Bulley Last Seen Walking Dog Near River - St Michaels on Wyre (Lancashire) #14

[Tanzanite]

I am not sure I understand your post, but I was replying to someone who implied there would be some kind of shame or issue attached to publicity that Nicola was experiencing menopause. I don’t see that.

You may think medical issues should be kept private, and I understand that perspective, but mentioning menopause doesn’t cause shame for Nicola or her family. Neither does saying she struggled with it IMO. Menopause is a fact of life for pretty much every woman who reaches a certain age. I understand not wanting to broadcast it, but there’s nothing negative about it as a fact.

You've misunderstood my comment. I asked if it was a wind up that your comment about being “menopausal” (your inverted commas) wouldn't 'make much odds.' And that as 'a natural female experience ' you couldn't 'see why that would be an issue at all.'

I thought you were joking on my first read. I think I was genuinely astonished to read an opinion like that in 2023, but there we go. The beauty of opinions, I guess, is that we're all entitled to them!

 

[Pinkizzy]

Ugh, I struggled to sleep last night after the "alcoholic menopausal" info released by the police. I am so damn ANGRY at them! If they hadn't kept harping on about "vulnerabilities" in yesterday morning's press conference they wouldn't have needed to release such personal information!

MOO: Because the police kept mentioning vulnerabilities yesterday morning a reporter/reporters went digging, found out what they were, called the press office and said "we know what Nicola's vulnerabilities are and we will publish them at X o'clock" (giving the police a chance to get in there first & release the info).

What has knowing the vulnerabilities got us? Or any witnesses? Nothing! It adds nothing of substance to the search or pleas for witnesses/dashcam footage. I thought personal information was just that - personal. I am so angry for Nicola's family & friends - releasing personal information that has zero bearing on the search/investigation was poor form by the police (at a time when they're hard to trust already thanks to recent events).

I think the papers had the alcoholic scoop and they were going to print it soon - the police had no other choice

 

[Rusty Braincells]

You've misunderstood my comment. I asked if it was a wind up that your comment about being “menopausal” (your inverted commas) wouldn't 'make much odds.' And that as 'a natural female experience ' you couldn't 'see why that would be an issue at all.'

I thought you were joking on my first read. I think I was genuinely astonished to read an opinion like that in 2023, but there we go. The beauty of opinions, I guess, is that we're all entitled to them!

You’ve misunderstood my post actually. If you quoted what I replied to then you would see. I myself am experiencing early menopause at 42 actually so I am well familiar. The “issue” I meant was the idea it was wrong in some way. It is not a source of shame at all. The poster said why would people including her kids want to hear “menopausal” said. I am saying what’s wrong with being menopausal. So basically not at all what you said. It makes sense in the context that you didn’t extract when clipping my post.

 

[mrjitty]

Equally I think a lot of people have extrapolated NB may only have drunk as much as they do and didn’t have destructive drinking patterns, and she’s being unfairly judged. It could have been either way around to be honest. I hope the police have an idea of actual patterns and not something vague.

Well yeah. we don't know. I was just reacting to the idea that the kids were at risk in the car which to my mind is wild speculation.

 

[ayrshireguy]

I suspect the media were going to run with the info so they got ahead of it.

Strong suggestions that the media had the information and police pre-empted them

 

[Rusty Braincells]

Well yeah. we don't know. I was just reacting to the idea that the kids were at risk in the car which to my mind is wild speculation.

I totally agree with you there. I personally don’t think they were.

 

[CriLondon]

In this picture you can see the small stile gate right next to the bench. I'm not sure Willow could have got past the main kissing gate, but IMO a dog could easily get past the stile and then make their way back to the main path through the undergrowth.

I agree , i didn't realise that part was so low and "jumpable" .

 

[JennieM]

I prefer the version in better language of your bottom option . The one where contributing medical conditions are likely to be involved IF there’s no 3rd party involvement. I highlighted “medical issues” as that’s what they are & for some reason people want to highlight them as something not be talked about or ashamed about .

(And yes I realise the term “alcoholic” is being used even though that’s not a term used by the police )

You and I both don't think there is anything to be ashamed of. But it should be a private family matter. Let's hope people they come across are always open minded and kind.

 

[mrjitty]

It's important to remember that police cannot anticipate which cases will blow up into giant national/international stories.

To my mind, they followed a sensible approach in the first days, including local media work for a vulnerable female, because it was very important to find NB as fast as possible.

I find it hard to take seriously the idea that referring to 'vulnerabilities' is what made this case blow up. Rather that is something everyone got focussed on when the mystery deepened with no answers.

 

[Tanzanite]

You’ve misunderstood my post actually. If you quoted what I replied to then you would see. I myself am experiencing early menopause at 42 actually so I am well familiar. The “issue” I meant was the idea it was wrong in some way. It is not a source of shame at all. The poster said why would people including her kids want to hear “menopausal” said. I am saying what’s wrong with being menopausal.

I would be grateful if you would separate my comments from any perception whatsoever of menopause being a source of shame. I have literally not mentioned that at all and entirely reject the notion.

My astonishment at your comment was entirely to do with the reference to menopause being a natural female experience that wouldn't make any difference at all. It makes a huge difference to millions of women every day in myriad ways. Acknowledging the impact of menopause is NOT the same as seeing it as 'shameful.' I'm in favour of making the impact of menopause more widely understood.

I think perhaps we both mean well here and are possibly arguing a similar point from opposite ends.

 

[jigzy]

It’s even possible that NB could have been nearby waiting to see that the dog was found by someone she knew could be trusted, before leaving the area. Jmo.

 

[SteelyGlint]

In this picture you can see the small stile gate right next to the bench. I'm not sure Willow could have got past the main kissing gate, but IMO a dog could easily get past the stile and then make their way back to the main path through the undergrowth.

I agree. Apologies for posting something from the Daily Mail, but this video is very helpful

Nicola Bulley: Desperate search continues for mother in Lancashire

 

[IKnowNowt]

In this picture you can see the small stile gate right next to the bench. I'm not sure Willow could have got past the main kissing gate, but IMO a dog could easily get past the stile and then make their way back to the main path through the undergrowth.

Yes, I've always seen the stile as a place where Willow could easily exit.

 

[mrjitty]

One thing is fairly clear, and explains why police were not focussed on ransacking local villager's houses and looking for PF's burial site in the forest.

If she left under her own steam, she could have got quite far within just 30 mins - beyond searchers

Personally I think if this is not an accident, then she is not in the river.

I guess they were hoping she might show up on foot on dashcam.

 

[Rusty Braincells]

I would be grateful if you would separate my comments from any perception whatsoever of menopause being a source of shame. I have literally not mentioned that at all and entirely reject the notion.

My astonishment at your comment was entirely to do with the reference to menopause being a natural female experience that wouldn't make any difference at all. It makes a huge difference to millions of women every day in myriad ways. Acknowledging the impact of menopause is NOT the same as seeing it as 'shameful.' I'm in favour of making the impact of menopause more widely understood.

I think perhaps we both mean well here and are possibly arguing a similar point from opposite ends.

I think we are talking at cross-purposes. Reading my posts in isolation you think I’m saying menopause is not a big deal. I’m not. I’m going through it right now and experiencing health issues and I have an alcohol problem to boot that might have been exacerbated by the menopause. I absolutely get that part, please believe me.

I replied to someone who said something along the lines of “who would want to hear their mother was menopausal (and an alcoholic).” I simply meant menopause is a natural feature of life and no shame attaches. I don’t think it attaches to alcohol problems either but that’s another point.

 

[BaronessWombat]

Trigger warning. A recent article on menopause and mental health. IMO it absolutely had something to do with her state of mind that day.

Not just hot flushes: how menopause can destroy mental health

Women are increasingly discussing the forgetfulness, anxiety and suicidal thoughts they have experienced as their hormones change in midlife. Why is more help not available?

www.theguardian.com

 

[Normanly]

Yes, I've always seen the stile as a place where Willow could easily exit.

I do find it strange that Willow didn't follow NB if she did walk away. My dog would panic and try to get through anywhere if he saw me leave. Maybe she was distracted and simply didn't know where NB went? It also may have literally been 1 minute before the witness arrived at 9.33. We don't know the actual time NB left the area only that her phone had been at the bench area since 9.20

 

[hedgetog]

This is all JMO, but I find the reaction to the police releasing this info fascinating. The same people (not on here I hasten to add) who were saying the police were incompetent for not releasing more information now saying they shouldn't have pondered to the public and released this info. I have my own thoughts around the decision to release it, but I just find the tell us tell us, oh no that's not what we wanted to hear very strange.

Without speculating on what happened to NB, I think those (again not on here but those who have been interviewed such as shadow home sec) are displaying a fair amount of faux naivety. Of course these factors don't mean they are definitely related to what happened, but of course without doubt there's a very strong possibility they did. I get it's personal information and so, again, have my own views about it being spoken publicly, but it's sad but not surprising for so many to seem to be suggesting it's shameful, or dismissing the impact early menopause and the menopause in general can have.

Without overstepping this gives a lot more dimension to a lot of things beyond just what happened that day.

 

[steelo]

One thing is fairly clear, and explains why police were not focussed on ransacking local villager's houses and looking for PF's burial site in the forest.

If she left under her own steam, she could have got quite far within just 30 mins - beyond searchers

Personally I think if this is not an accident, then she is not in the river.

I guess they were hoping she might show up on foot on dashcam.

I'm sure lowland S&R teams are able to fairly accurately calculate how far a person can travel in a given timeframe over a variety of terrains. So unless she was assisted I don't believe she would have gone beyond a search radius. It is possible she was able to evade a search but with the addition of thermal imaging cameras mounted on drones then evading a search unless in a vehicle or building would be incredibly difficult. Being submerged in water could mask a thermal signature however IMO.

 

[hedgetog]

The police statement did seem to suggest it had been verified by family members rather than just PA, but that's JMO. You'd hope so anyway, without speculating they'll be aware of a lot of stuff to consider and look into in these scenarios.