Have there been any studies on other women like this? I'm curious to know what the driving force is here, because I highly doubt it's as simple as "I forgot to take my pill or the condom broke 10 times.
[SBM]
Is it the drug abuse? Do certain drugs just make taking certain precautions
Editduring sex something they aren't or can't be concerned with? The drugs are more important than anything, therefore birth control measures aren't taken because their minds and attention are on something else (drugs?)
[SBM]
What is the deal here.....seriously?
I have also worked with these women, and unfortunately, it IS as simple as "I forgot to take my pill" or "the condom broke 10 times" (a condom is rarely used).
Many of them refuse to take the pill (I've heard excuses from "they give people cancer" to "I don't like the way they make me feel" to "it numbs my sex drive"). In addition, the women are usually not responsible enough to make sure they take the pill every day, or they "forget." If they are abusing drugs and addicted, it is easy to forget a lot of things.
Most days, addicts are centered on scoring the next hit or getting money to do same. Parenting, jobs, family connections, the care of children (and birth control) fall by the wayside. Most women with low self-esteem will not demand their sex partner use a condom. Most men, who are only using a women as a sex partner, are not concerned with using a condom. There is no planning. Just like with drugs, it is about instant gratification. Even if there is some sort of a short-term dysfunctional relationship, it is usually not long-lasting. Therefore, any children who are born live in a constant upheaval with no security.
Often, the male partner is an abuser of both the woman and any children she has. I have seen this time and again, just as we all have seen this in the news almost every week. How many young "step-dads" are left at home to watch a baby or toddler that is not theirs while their partner goes to work, and the child ends up dead? Usually, the "step-dad" has no parenting skills and cannot stop the baby from crying. Often, they were raised in the same kind of situation, where violence was the norm.
Drugs have the same effect as too much alcohol. It reduces inhibitions and numbs the mind. Many people cannot remember what happened when completely drugged or black-out drunk. Think of the people photographed passed out in their cars from opioid use, while their babies and toddlers cry in the backseat. When a person abuses drugs or drink in this way, birth control is the absolute last thing on their mind. Worrying about having another baby they can't take care of does not even register. And if that isn't enough, there are men who like to take meth because they say it can make them "go all night." You think they're concerned about making a baby with some woman? What's it to them if she gets pregnant?
Lest anyone think I'm hammering women about using birth control, it is also a man's responsibility. I'm sick and tired of all the baby mamas and baby daddies who are nothing but dead beats. Their children (of all races) usually grow up in poverty and repeat what their parents did. In the meantime, these children are abused in every way possible and live with whoever will have them. And don't tell me that is not the reality because I have worked with these same children for years. It is a tragedy no one wants to talk about until another dead baby is in the news.
Noah's mother did not care if she had one or 10 children. It is difficult for those of us who adore children to understand there are people who DO NOT CARE. They are narcissistic and usually have a mix of several personality and mood disorders. Kudos to the poster here who beat a heroin addiction to be a better parent! Do you know how rare that is? As someone said, you are a hero and have saved your life and those of your children.
A friend of mine works at a home for physically/sexually abused and abandoned children. Their stories are beyond horrendous and usually involve multiple siblings. They are from all races and different socioeconomic backgrounds, but the one thing they have in common is being unwanted and unloved, usually from birth. Just because a woman and a man can make a child doesn't mean that they should have a child. There are not enough foster homes or adoptions to take in all of the abused and unwanted children. And you cannot erase the psychological scars that last a lifetime.
If anyone here believes it is the right of a woman to have 10 unwanted and abused children, I invite you to come with me and see the result of that type of narcissistic thinking. Nine children will pay for it the rest of their lives; one child already did.
