Who is GBC? An armchair psych discussion

Discussion in 'Allison Baden-Clay of Australia' started by Kimster, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    I'm in counselling and I take part in a support group for survivors of narcissists, and THAT is the biggest shock of all - we're all describing the same person, it's like they all attend the same acting class and learn the same script.

    I'm really glad to hear that your daughter is aware of his disorder, sadly many children of 'them' don't understand the disorder, and continually get hoovered by their N parent.

    My heart breaks for Allison, her daughters and her friends and family, with everything coming out about his dark side it must be very painful for them.

    My 2 sons are now aware of how to spot a disordered one, and it should be something,I believe, that should be taught in personal development classes along with sex and drug education.
     


  2. Snails

    Snails New Member

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    Thank you very much and I completely agree with your views.
     
  3. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    A family lost a beautiful daughter and loving mother because of a disordered one, and it is somehow very appropriate to educate our children about these individuals, I believe, that none of us should let Allisons suffering and death be in vain.
     
  4. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    Wow - just wow, great post !
     
  5. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    Hmmmm..... I've posted about 3 replies in a row - I feel like an attention whore ;/
     
  6. DunnoZo

    DunnoZo New Member

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    so Onionsgalore, in a nut shell, what is it we teach them to look out for? Kids go through relationships with jealousy, controlling, etc. and hopefully learn from each experience, but how do we spot the danger?
     
  7. Neuromancer

    Neuromancer New Member

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    Yep. That's awesome that your sons are already aware.

    As I've mentioned previously, I once had a brief personal experience with a psychopath, just before I did the relevant uni lectures on the topic (and went "ok so *that's* what he was") and I'm eternally grateful for that experience, because it's probably saved my life and sanity so many times.

    That's one of the things that's drawn me to this case, and something that I hope people learn from it, and that can be Allison's legacy, in a way.

    If someone lies to others; they'll lie to you.

    If someone treats others badly, they'll do the same to you.

    If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are.
     
  8. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    There are red flags.

    * telling a sob story very ( too) early
    * moving fast. They'll be claiming that the intended victim is unique/special/soul mate within days of meeting them
    * valuing/devaluing behaviour. Building the victim up, then kicking the stool out from under them
    * saying all their exes are crazy
    * not allowing the victim access to friends/family without their presence
    * triangulation. Trying to make the victim feel like they could lose them, due to interest from someone else.

    That old chestnut 'if it seems to be good to be true...."
     
  9. Opinionsgalore

    Opinionsgalore New Member

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    That final sentence is the nutshell of how to pick them.

    Yes, funnily I'm grateful for the experience, because it taught me about myself and where I need to tighten up my boundaries, and gave me the opportunity to pass on valuable lessons to my sons.
     
  10. itsthevibe

    itsthevibe Verified insider - Allison Baden-Clay case

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    Hi all,

    With Kimsters permission I post the link to my Jury Room thread which is where you'll find my thread about Getting Together.

    On this thread please read Kimsters notes and warnings about getting together and foregoing anonymity. It's a personal decision that needs to be considered carefully.

    Here is the link http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?250131-Allison-Baden-Clay-Get-Together&p=10755568&posted=1#post10755568

    We can't discuss getting together on this thread so don't respond here just go to the link.
     
  11. Bazinga

    Bazinga Well-Known Member

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    There are a few things that I've wondered about with GBC.
    - he speaks in an odd way. Maybe he is trying to sound posh? But in the recordings and interviews I've heard he sounds creepy, with a whispering, strange "accent" and very effeminate.
    - he seems to be smiling in those scratched face evidence photos and that is seems very strange in the circumstances
     
  12. PlainJaneDoe

    PlainJaneDoe Verified expert in neuroscience

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    :grouphug: to every single person here! It has been such a relief for me to post about my ex and The Fam and just I guess hear that y'all other smart people (and alien! Haha) say "I've been there, too."
     
  13. Snails

    Snails New Member

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    Couldn't agree more Bazinga. I'm sure some of his old school mates will come out with their take on his personality back in the day. I would also not be surprised if some of those swingers (of both sexes) from the "adult" site he was a member of sign up for a media pay cheque as well. Nothing surprises me anymore.
     
  14. UnfoldingTruth

    UnfoldingTruth New Member

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    That was my question too- when does it become a disorder as opposed to a personality trait? As we all probably have elements of the disorders listed on previous page... There seems to be so many listed personality disorders, that I would think most people could identify to some degree with at least one of them- but then isn't this just part of our personality? And when is it considerd a disorder? Very interesting.
     
  15. UnfoldingTruth

    UnfoldingTruth New Member

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    I have at times thought he also sounded a bit effeminate. I think a bit of it was a put on though- to make himself sound innocent(?)
    Regarding the accent, Gerard only moved to Australia at age 10 with his family(think he was born in UK, but lived most of early years in Zimbawe)- perhaps there is some residual accent there?

    http://www.news.com.au/national/nsw-act/wife-killer-is-great-grandson-of-scouts-founder-badenpowell/story-fnii5s3x-1226990711076
     
  16. JK673

    JK673 New Member

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    I researched NPD because I work with one and a mate's wife was one. I said GBC was classic NPD ages ago......feeling really sorry for Allison.....:-(
     
  17. ollijack

    ollijack New Member

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    So well said thankyou. Been wanting to comment on his voice
    He does sound creepy and feminine. Erk shudder
     
  18. Consider

    Consider New Member

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    I've just woken to catch up and find the posts on this thread intuitive, thoughtful, helpful and revealing.

    Much catching up to do - I'm probably about to comment in no original way - sorry 'bout that.

    I think GBC thought using this voice would 'endear' people.

    I suspect he leaned on so many tools he thought would 'appeal' to people.

    If he heard a well received joke said by someone else he'd add that joke to his repertoire.

    He'd repeat conversations others naturally had with one another once he was in a different setting.

    It's as though (due to parenting?) people like Gerweird are incapable of being natural in their relationships and need to BORROW how to speak and behave like a decent/normal human because they're incapable of just naturally interacting without failing.

    I think GBC was encouraged by his parents and naturally gravitated to math/accounting/business especially drawn to making money (not keeping or saving or using it ethically).

    Money isn't interactive like people (GBC wasn't drawn to social sciences or humanities, nor encouraged by his parents in those areas)

    Money acts as a tremendous disguise : it suggests and delivers the perception of power, status and success.

    Money is one dimensional. People are not. People are complex and complicated.

    I've no doubt GBC made certain he drew others attention to any 'good act' he suffered through : community involvement, making donations?, etc.

    You'd think we should have pity with anyone who isn't capable of innately/naturally interacting/relating to others but personally I struggle to.

    Allison tried everything to reach out and connect with GBC. Such a gifted, intelligent, loving and talented woman failed in every effort to get her husband to love and respect and be kind to her : because he's incapable of it : it's not her failing : it's his.
     
  19. Consider

    Consider New Member

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    Champagnelulu

    Are you suggesting GBC didn't cause Allison's death?

    Maybe not. In any case I'm going to use your post as an opportunity to vent/reveal my worst thoughts and feelings about what I think might have happened to Allison.

    Did GBC protect Allison that night?

    No one knows what happened, not WS's, not the judge or jury.

    Allison died and GBC - where was he? Cherishing her in bed? Cherishing her in life?

    15 years for what he might have done or did do.

    He needs 15years rehabilitation either way.

    Three little girls need love, safety, security and the attention of those like Allison who are genuinely willing to turn themselves inside out to provide them that.

    GBC is not up to the task of : loving, respecting, protecting and dedicating himself to the humans he created and is responsible for.

    15 years for him to reflect, admit, apologise, amend : Best intervention over 15 years won't achieve it.

    There's no law against people who recklessly live their lives with his gross preferences and gross sense of entitlement.

    In the absence of such laws and in the absence of any possibility a 'hit man' that GBC paid killed Allison - May every split second of 'his' next 15 years be spent being EXCLUDED.

    I'm dark/angry now : but may he please be ignored and unwanted, disrespected and rejected by every other male of his calibre or worse in prison.

    Justice is a hard task master. GBC has not even felt justice yet in my opinion.

    So far he's been on holiday camp avoiding his parental and financial responsibilities WITH FREE BOARD.

    Arrrghh.
     
  20. Consider

    Consider New Member

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    Just reading this morning's news online.

    KIMSTAR

    Can we please have a new thread : 'Who is TM? An Armchair Psych Discussion'
     

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