Lesbian High School Student Told She Can't Wear Tuxedo In Yearbook

[smart blonde]

Hey, Idaho, You! What about me?? I did it in 1978!! Ha ha, no, though, I'm just kidding--it's a lot harder to do it now. In nowhereville, Ohio, in 1978, nobody even knew what to make of it, let alone know how to go about stopping me!

My 24 daughter is gay. She knew it in high school and was open about, didn't make a big deal about it one way or the other. She told me she was gay when she was 15 yrs old. I admit I was surprised, because I felt I should have realized it on my own, lol!

She has never had any problems because of her sexuality. Her peers have always accepted her for who she is. She is a friend magnet, and has friends of both sexes, all colors, all sexual orientations. She is one of the smartest, funniest, kindest people you would ever meet.

What has surprised me the most, I guess, is the reaction of some of my own peers (and often times people of older generations), after I have casually mentioned her being gay while getting to know someone.

Here's a sampling of remarks and questions I have been asked:

~ "Oh, I'm so sorry... you must have been devastated when you found out". (no)

~ "She's your only child, that means you'll never get to be a grandmother!" (no)

~ "Was she molested when she was little?" (no)

~ "Did you try to get her counseling? Sometimes it's not too late to correct that, if you get them help while they are young". (Doesn't even warrant a response)

~ "Did you do drugs when you were pregnant? I heard that can cause it". (no/no)

~ "How can you relate to her, when you are straight and she's not?". (huh?)

There are more, but I will spare you, lol!

The truth is, I don't spend any more time thinking about her sexuality than I do wondering why her eyes are blue when mine are green- which is to say I spend no time thinking about it at all.

When people make stupid statements, like the ones above, I try to practice patience with them. I just find ignorance annoying.

 

[tapu]

You rock, smart blonde! tapu approves

 

[erynne936]

Here's an example of a drape for a portrait. You've seen them before, I'm sure, but probably didn't know what they were called:

http://www.prostudiousa.com/Classic...UserID=4413619&SessionID=JT7DUziIvkMmPm4VuTid

NAYY

thank you - i have never seen that before though! in my senior portraits we all wore whatever we wanted. am i the only one that that picture makes think hmmm is she naked under there? :waitasec:

 

[panthera]

Here's an example of a drape for a portrait. You've seen them before, I'm sure, but probably didn't know what they were called:

http://www.prostudiousa.com/Classic...UserID=4413619&SessionID=JT7DUziIvkMmPm4VuTid

NAYY

Thanks so much ~ I had no clue what they were referring to either! So what happens if a "straight" female, doesn't want to wear something like that with her shoulder bared? I think forcing either option is rather ridiculous. MOO

 

[panthera]

You rock, smart blonde! tapu approves

I approve also! :clap:

 

[panthera]

Ha. I'd rather have my daughter wear a tux as be seen in something as dopey as that. Is that like the female version of a "dickie"? It also looks like what my hairdresser puts on me to get my haircut. Whoever came up with that stupid idea??

I wouldn't be caught dead being photographed in that either, let alone for a set of senior pictures which can cost a small fortune.

 

[LinasK]

thank you - i have never seen that before though! in my senior portraits we all wore whatever we wanted. am i the only one that that picture makes think hmmm is she naked under there? :waitasec:

Same here, and that was back in 1978.

 

[panthera]

Same here, and that was back in 1978.

This is the first time I've heard of it too.

 

[KT Can]

My 24 daughter is gay. She knew it in high school and was open about, didn't make a big deal about it one way or the other. She told me she was gay when she was 15 yrs old. I admit I was surprised, because I felt I should have realized it on my own, lol!

OMG smart blonde, I could have written your post word for word!!! My smart, funny, kind, beautiful, sensitive, brilliantly artistic 19yo old daughter is a lesbian as well. She knew it in high school, middle school for that matter. She came out to me as a sophomore. My response? and??? Well that, and, thank God you didn't just tell me you're pregnant or you're hooked on oxy-contin.

As I said, your post, word for word - DD has never had any problems because of her sexuality. Her peers have always accepted her for who she is. She is a friend magnet, and has friends of both sexes, all colors, all sexual orientations. She is one of the smartest, funniest, kindest people you would ever meet - you would probably actually rather meet her than me!

I loved your sampling of remarks and questions:

~ "Oh, I'm so sorry... you must have been devastated when you found out". -- um, yeah, not so much. Relief is what I felt, for her, that she didn't have to carry that by herself anymore, and admiration, for her guts and her bravery.

~ "She's your only child, that means you'll never get to be a grandmother!" -- I had her when I was 19, I am now 38...I am still trying to process that I am actually someone's mother, so, grandma? Again, not so much. Besides, I have never expected that she would be one to physically birth a baby anyway for she's been telling me since she was five that she is going to adopt - because there are too many kids in the world already that need good parents! Yeah, she's a real awful person, that lesbian child of mine

~ "Did you try to get her counseling? Sometimes it's not too late to correct that, if you get them help while they are young". -- my mother, her grandmother, loves to throw this one out there every now and then...arrggghhh. Thanks but no thanks mom, you're the reason why I'm such a loon, I'm breaking the cycle.

~ "Did you do drugs when you were pregnant? I heard that can cause it". -- why yes, as a matter of fact I did, sorry to say. I was a wild and crazy 18yo kid with irregular periods who didn't find out for two months...for all intents and purposes DD should have been a flipper baby, not meant to offend, but somehow, by the grace of a higher power I ended up with a lesbian member of mensa who graduated in the top 10% of her class with honors and made it into a top ten university.

~ "How can you relate to her, when you are straight and she's not?". -- ditto your answer...huh???

I don't spend any more time thinking about her sexuality than I do wondering why her eyes are green and mine are blue, which is to say I spend no time thinking about it at all. It is a non-issue to me.

When people make stupid statements, like the ones above, I try to practice patience with them. I just find ignorance annoying.

Like I said, word for word. :blowkiss:

 

[DollyPardonMe]

My 24 daughter is gay. She knew it in high school and was open about, didn't make a big deal about it one way or the other. She told me she was gay when she was 15 yrs old. I admit I was surprised, because I felt I should have realized it on my own, lol!

She has never had any problems because of her sexuality. Her peers have always accepted her for who she is. She is a friend magnet, and has friends of both sexes, all colors, all sexual orientations. She is one of the smartest, funniest, kindest people you would ever meet.

What has surprised me the most, I guess, is the reaction of some of my own peers (and often times people of older generations), after I have casually mentioned her being gay while getting to know someone.

Here's a sampling of remarks and questions I have been asked:

~ "Oh, I'm so sorry... you must have been devastated when you found out". (no)

~ "She's your only child, that means you'll never get to be a grandmother!" (no)

~ "Was she molested when she was little?" (no)

~ "Did you try to get her counseling? Sometimes it's not too late to correct that, if you get them help while they are young". (Doesn't even warrant a response)

~ "Did you do drugs when you were pregnant? I heard that can cause it". (no/no)

~ "How can you relate to her, when you are straight and she's not?". (huh?)

There are more, but I will spare you, lol!

The truth is, I don't spend any more time thinking about her sexuality than I do wondering why her eyes are blue when mine are green- which is to say I spend no time thinking about it at all.

When people make stupid statements, like the ones above, I try to practice patience with them. I just find ignorance annoying.

Believe it or not I have found the BEST response to idiots from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. Theyre always telling him: "Why don't you go act stupid somewhere else?" Sounds like these people need to watch SpongeBob!

 

[Donjeta]

~ "How can you relate to her, when you are straight and she's not?". -- ditto your answer...huh???

snip

If they're female and got kids who are male or vice versa, the thing to do is to have a really awed look on your face, eyes wide open, and say, in an awed voice, "OHMYGOSH, you've got a son! I've no idea how you can relate to him because he's a male and you're not."

 

[montana_16]

"dress in drapes"? i have never ever heard this terminology before. is it a regional thing i guess? sounds like the ladies have to wear curtains.

Maybe they were inspired by Scarlett O' Hara.

 

[poco]

Ha. I'd rather have my daughter wear a tux as be seen in something as dopey as that. Is that like the female version of a "dickie"? It also looks like what my hairdresser puts on me to get my haircut. Whoever came up with that stupid idea??

This post is a classic - in fact this whole thread is hilarious. Maybe someone should print it out and mail it to that stupid school!

 

[tapu]

OMG smart blonde, I could have written your post word for word!!! My smart, funny, kind, beautiful, sensitive, brilliantly artistic 19yo old daughter is a lesbian as well. She knew it in high school, middle school for that matter. She came out to me as a sophomore. My response? and??? Well that, and, thank God you didn't just tell me you're pregnant or you're hooked on oxy-contin.

Oh, great, and I just recently texted her mother that she (the mother!) was cute in her avatar! :blush:

 

[lizzybeth]

thank you - i have never seen that before though! in my senior portraits we all wore whatever we wanted. am i the only one that that picture makes think hmmm is she naked under there? :waitasec:

Haha, I worried about that my senior year. Not because we had to be naked under it, but we had to pull our bra straps down!! LOL. My mother took me to a professional photographer instead of letting the school take the pictures. I still wore the drape, but didn't have to prance out in front of all the senior girls and boys with...my straps pulled down. I can't believe I was such a prude.

 

[justbeachy]

Here's an example of a drape for a portrait. You've seen them before, I'm sure, but probably didn't know what they were called:

http://www.prostudiousa.com/Classic...UserID=4413619&SessionID=JT7DUziIvkMmPm4VuTid

NAYY

I had to wear one of these for my senior photo. If I was really gutsy, I'd go dig it up and show you. Nah...I'm not that gutsy!

 

[lizzybeth]

The kids in our area high school seem to be very open with whether they are gay or not. Kids don't have to come out of the closet because most of their peers "just know". I'm not sure how the school board would react if a female wanted to wear a tuxedo, but I would hope they wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

[Trino]

I had to wear one of these for my senior photo. If I was really gutsy, I'd go dig it up and show you. Nah...I'm not that gutsy!

THE DRAPE... Just your everyday high school wear, right?

Why don't guys have to strip and wear something stupid like this?

 

[Lyn1001]

THE DRAPE... Just your everyday high school wear, right?

Why don't guys have to strip and wear something stupid like this?

I would have been all for that in high school! (Depending on the guy....)

We got to wear whatever we wanted for senior pics, although for the yearbook we had to use a head shot, rather than one with props or something. At my senior prom a girl in my class wore a tux and brought her girlfriend, who wore a dress. No one even blinked.

 

[chesterp]

I just read the Somali thread woman being beaten for wearing bras... Now, if in Somalia and she wore the TUX without a bra would it be OK? OR, if she wore the TUX because she was a lesbian, BUT still had no bra would she get a 1/2 beaten?

What a stupid World we live in because of what people wear.