I know it's hard for "normal people" to understand how an abuser's mind works. I did not experience abuse personally but a good friend did. Her husband would go into a rage and it could last for days and it was usually about something very innocent. The rage consumes the abuser and he or she can't let it go. He divorced my friend and had someone waiting in the wings and that woman has already filed for divorce and now there's another one. I think if there's one common denominator with abusers is they latch unto something and become enraged about it and don't let it go. They do not think logically.