2010.05.04 No one takes the blame for anything!!!

[TxLady2]

Why are the Croslins the only ones to blame here? I want to know why a barely 17 year old girl was expected to keep house and take care of two children when two perfectly good grandmothers were right around the corner?

GGMS was angry at Misty because how dare she leave for 3 days and leave Ronald without someone to watch the kids? What? Why was it Misty's responsibility? That was RONALD'S responsibility.

Then you have GMNeves begging Misty to watch the kids after a 3-day drug binge? Over my dead body would a drug addled teenager get near any child of mine.

Yeah, no one is taking the blame and it starts with the Cummings family.

You hit the nail on the head. It was RON'S responsibility to see that HIS children were taken care of. But if his family knew Misty had been on that 3-day binge, why didn't somebody step up and take control? Everything might have been fine when Grandma dropped by at 7:30 but a LOT can go wrong in 6 or 7 hours. A tragic accident can occur in a few seconds.
SOMEBODY could have prevented this, and NOBODY did. That's the real shame, right there.

 

[shufly]

Why are the Croslins the only ones to blame here? I want to know why a barely 17 year old girl was expected to keep house and take care of two children when two perfectly good grandmothers were right around the corner?

GGMS was angry at Misty because how dare she leave for 3 days and leave Ronald without someone to watch the kids? What? Why was it Misty's responsibility? That was RONALD'S responsibility.

Then you have GMNeves begging Misty to watch the kids after a 3-day drug binge? Over my dead body would a drug addled teenager get near any child of mine.

Yeah, no one is taking the blame and it starts with the Cummings family.

EXCELLENT POST!!! and may i add that I have a 2 year old grandbaby and her mom (my daughter) and her husband would have to call the cops on me to get this child out of my hands before I ever returned her to a house where I knew drugs were being used. In fact, my daugher had some friends as bad as these people and the girl wanted out but she needed a place to stay (meaning with my daugther of course) and she had no job. I told my daughter that if she did let her come live with her (of course you know the husband and all the friends would be dropping in) that I would march my butt right over there and take the baby and she could call whomever she wanted to but my grandbaby was not going to be exposed to any such thing. Thankfully, my daughter is twice as peculiar over the baby as I am and she didn't hesitate to tell her so called friend where she could go.

As an aside, the friend's mother got her a place to stay, turned on the lights and water, helped her get furniture and set up on the condition the girl get a job and stay away from drugs and take care of her kids. She was in her new place one day before she had a new heroin addicted b/f move in with her. My daughter called her mom and told her everything that was going on. As far as I know the mom kicked her and the b/f to the curb and took the kids. That was a year ago and I have no idea what has happened to the girl since then other than she was at one point calling her prescription addicted husband to come get her because she couldn't live like that anymore. Oh yeah, that's a good move. Leave a druggie so you can get cleaned up, move in with a druggie and then call the first druggie to come rescue you. And when the kids are teenagers, the parents will not understand why they are in so much trouble. Much like these two families.

 

[pittsburghgirl]

We can see the effects of drug abuse and addiction in the Misty/Tommy/Joe/Ron/Hope generation. We can hypothesize that, while the current culture and larger environment plays some part, that the family systems of these young people laid the groundwork for these wasted lives. We can't know, precisely, how many of their parents, grandparents, stepparents, aunts, uncles, etc., struggled with various addictions. We also can't know who might have struggled valiantly to keep these kids out of the grip of drugs and out of trouble with the law. But what we see in the videos of these kids is an eye-opener about how fast kids can be lost. I am thinking of the actor Michael Douglas talking about his own drug use as his son goes away to prison, and so many thinking that prison is his only chance to LIVE. And, as a dedicated viewer of Celebrity Rehab, I see over and over again how these substances literally destroy the brain, prevent the maturation process in the young, and create such a desire to be numb that nothing matters other than getting high.

Nobody takes responsibility here because one hallmark of these addictions and related dysfunction (enabling, co-dependency, etc.) is that it's always someone else's fault.

 

[tlcya]

You hit the nail on the head. It was RON'S responsibility to see that HIS children were taken care of. But if his family knew Misty had been on that 3-day binge, why didn't somebody step up and take control? Everything might have been fine when Grandma dropped by at 7:30 but a LOT can go wrong in 6 or 7 hours. A tragic accident can occur in a few seconds.
SOMEBODY could have prevented this, and NOBODY did. That's the real shame, right there.

BBM

And might I add that if RC hadn't been so vindictive as to wrest custody from Crystal in order to spite her (which I honestly with all my heart believe is why he had custody) and exposed her to all these players and this lifestyle he was providing, Haleigh would still be here.

 

[tlcya]

BTW OT But I would like to give kudos to Crystal for being the only person who was involved in Haleigh's life to NOT be giving interviews, not be conversing with bloggers, not be saying anything while LE does its work. She alone seems to be taking LE seriously and keeping her thoughts, theories and opinoins off the 6 o'clock news as LE has requested.

 

[cluciano63]

How long did ron have custody of Haleigh? I know this is probably wrong thread but just wondering how long it took for Haleigh to end up...most likely dead, under his watch. Also, is the reason he got custody instead of Haleigh being placed elsewhere because he managed to get out of all the drug charges he had prior? Just wondering why the judge thought he was such a great option in the first place, I guess...imagine if only Haleigh had been placed in a foster home for a while, she might still be alive.

And I agree about Misty being left to care for two little kids-she made it clear she was not interested in babysitting that night, it seems, which should be enough of a red flag for anyone with a brain, but we are talking about a sub-population here that does not think the way most of us do. Anyone who leaves children withs someone fresh off a drug/alcohol binge knowingly should be charged with any number of crimes, regardless of outcome of that "decision."

 

[LiveLaughLuv]

IMO, the only reason RC won custody was due to his having employment!

He was the better parent in that regard or so the judge thought. He was the one to support her monetarily and have medical insurance for HaLeigh...another bad judgement call, IMO...

Also, by default since he manipulated the system and sent the court papers to an incorrect address, IIRC...

 

[momuv3angels]

Why are the Croslins the only ones to blame here? I want to know why a barely 17 year old girl was expected to keep house and take care of two children when two perfectly good grandmothers were right around the corner?

GGMS was angry at Misty because how dare she leave for 3 days and leave Ronald without someone to watch the kids? What? Why was it Misty's responsibility? That was RONALD'S responsibility.

Then you have GMNeves begging Misty to watch the kids after a 3-day drug binge? Over my dead body would a drug addled teenager get near any child of mine.

Yeah, no one is taking the blame and it starts with the Cummings family.

ITA!
I think the reason they accepted a 17 year old girl for babysitting is simple; it meant they didn't have to. And the reason they sang her praises even after the incident was probably because they would rather do that than admit fault on their parts, imo. Some grandparents are actively involved in childrens lives' daily, almost like the childs' own parents...others are just there when its' convenient or on holidays. Still others are there, just not that attatched. Chances are with these parents and their partying, the grandmas had to step in often to help out, and perhaps they decided they were burned out...Misty enters the scene and they are all too pleased to pass the duties off on her. And when things go terribly wrong because of their permissiveness, they don't want to say "It was a bad idea to leave the children in her care" since it reflects badly on their own character. MOO.

 

[momuv3angels]

Oh, and I forgot to mention they could have sugar coated Misty so nobody would be suspicious of her... or Ron. Definately, moo.

 

[Vegas Bride]

Following this case since it started has been like a bad nightmare you never wake up from. The players and their behavior are almost like watching the worst of dysfunction imaginable. To the players involved in Haleigh going missing all I can say is. "Was it worth it?"

To those involved with her missing. Can you sleep at night? Is there no integrity in any of you? If you truly loved Haleigh wouldn't you do everything and more to help find out what happened to her.

Are you happy with the results? Was it worth it?

IMO they just pop another pill and put it out of their mind.

Taking any kind of blame would open the door to their own faults and it's been CYA from the beginning. If they admit Haleigh deserved better then the question would be "Why didn't you do it?" and they have no good answer for that.

So to your question about integrity, IMO no there isn't.

VB

 

[Kimster]

 

[Helplessly Hoping]

Not only does it seem that responsibility is nonexistent, but the selfish nature that comes through on these tapes staggers the mind. MOO

 

[Concerned Papa]

After reading through this thread, the concept of blame is one thing, but direct blame or guilt for this horrible crime is likely shared by only a few. R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y, however, is shared in varying degrees by ALL who were a part of her life.

I'm a proud Papa to 3 beautiful little girls that are a blessing from The Almighty to my life. I was drawn into this case because how it could have happened became important for me to understand. It was then, and is still now, incomprehensible to me that anyone could not love and appreciate the gifts from God that are our children.

Over the past 15 months, I have gone into the basements of these people's lives trying to understand how someone could allow something like this to happen. I have read every court document, every criminal charge, every article and watched more Nancy Grace than I even want to think about, all in an effort to understand.

Because I am a grandfather myself, one of the people I can least understand is Haleigh's grandfather, Johnny Sheffield. In 2005, after she lost custody of the children to Ronald, Crystal filed a couple of motions for re hearing. Accompanying one of these motions was an 18 item notarized affidavit from Johnny Sheffield that stated in very clear terms how he viewed Ronald as not only an unfit parent, but a dangerous menace to their safety because of his lifestyle. Testimony from Johnny Sheffield would have factored heavily into the Magistrate's ruling.

Problem was, Johnny Sheffield didn't show up for the hearing and without his direct testimony, the statements weren't allowed as evidence.

In looking into the history of the people in Haleigh's life, I couldn't help but find that Mr Sheffield had TWO assault charges in his past, one with a dangerous weapon. After reading his affidavit, and his criminal charges I couldn't help but ask myself, "What in the hell did these two people do to pizz off Johnny Sheffield?" He did NOTHING to protect the life of his granddaughter after telling the world about the danger that her life was in.

That is a part of this case that this grandfather will NEVER understand.

 

[Baznme]

ITA!
I think the reason they accepted a 17 year old girl for babysitting is simple; it meant they didn't have to. And the reason they sang her praises even after the incident was probably because they would rather do that than admit fault on their parts, imo. Some grandparents are actively involved in childrens lives' daily, almost like the childs' own parents...others are just there when its' convenient or on holidays. Still others are there, just not that attatched. Chances are with these parents and their partying, the grandmas had to step in often to help out, and perhaps they decided they were burned out...Misty enters the scene and they are all too pleased to pass the duties off on her. And when things go terribly wrong because of their permissiveness, they don't want to say "It was a bad idea to leave the children in her care" since it reflects badly on their own character. MOO.

Personally, I don't think it's that complicated. I believe GGS and TN were taking up the slack for babysitting until they told Ronald you need to find someone (for various reasons). So, that's what he did. He didn't have to look any further past his daughter's bus stop. TN and GGS were not wrong in telling Ron to do that IMO. They were probably a little short on stamina and patience. I can relate.

 

[azwriter]

Gotarugrat is right - a simple click of the Thank You button isn't enough. I wanted to personally thank So Sue Me for the post. She/he was the first to step forward in this thread and put Ron and family in the spotlight for not addressing leaving Haleigh in an unprotected environment.
While we do not have any known evidence, at this time, that he was directly involved in her fate that night, I think we all can plainly see that if he or his family had just stepped forward and did their duty of providing Haleigh and Junior the care they deserved she would still be here.
Regardless of who is charged and found gulty, the original lack of parenting is soley on Ron's shoulders.
Great post So Sue Me.

 

[krkrjx]

Hi everyone. I have been reading here for a while as a guest, just became a member and this is my first post.

I agree that none of the players accept the blame for their part in anything. Even those who say they did wrong by doing drugs and admit they have to "learn a lesson" will within the same conversation blame LE for their being in jail. Or worse--they blame Haleigh.

Many of us point at the Croslin parents for TC and MC being the way they are, and I will concede there is something to that. However, there comes a time when every person has to accept responsibility for their own actions.

These "kids" knew the difference between right and wrong. Misty's comment on one of the UC videos that she didn't want "to get in trouble" means she knew what she was doing was wrong. I am not sure, however, that she truly believed there could be consequences. Misty had gotten away with a lot in her life and had seen others around her get away with a lot. This no doubt taught her that rarely are there consequences. Misty sits in jail fully expecting there to few, if any, consequences this time, as well.

We hear the Cummings clan (including RC's attorney) throwing out some rather loud hints that Ron was involved in drug deals for no reason other than to find out information about Haleigh. We hear Chelsea assuring Misty that she was "only helping a friend." We hear Tommy whine about all the things he has done in the past that he got away with.

Enough of the "blame game" already! We have heard excuse after excuse, whine after whine, each one blaming him/her/them--but what we have heard so little of to date are remorse and truth.

ALL MOO.

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

I don't know about ToC and TiC, but I know that Misty didn't attend school for very long. I believe that this contributed to her lack of concern for others and little sense of responsibility for her actions. In addition to their education in the rudiments of reading, writing, and 'rithmetic, children who attend school regularly learn important social skills like caring for and respecting others. It's clear that Misty wasn't learning appropriate behaviors or values in her home, and, sadly, she didn't attend school enough to learn them there.

I have a feeling that expected behaviors in school would not have been reinforced in the home, and if Misty complained about assignments, a teacher that she didn't like, or classmates with whom she didn't get along, I think that her parents just blew it off and told Misty that she didn't have to go to school. I suspect that Misty's parents did not hold educators or school administration in high regard. It seems that GmaH made an effort to send Misty to school, set some boundaries, and established some expectations for her granddaughter. Bless her for having tried to do the right thing! jmo

 

[raisincharlie]

<snip>

Enough of the "blame game" already! We have heard excuse after excuse, whine after whine, each one blaming him/her/them--but what we have heard so little of to date are remorse and truth.

ALL MOO.

Welcome Krkrjx.

Heck of a first post and you are spot on with the above in bold. There has been little of either, most disturbing thing about this.

 

[epiphany]

Why will no one take the blame? Washington, D.C., Hollywood, Satsuma, or Manhattan - we often find ourselves living in a culture that no longer demands that we accept responsibility for our choices. We have helicopter parents in many towns, cities, and rural areas - rich and poor, educated and uneducated, who have rushed in at the slightest skinned knee or hangnail to protect their children, yet turn a blind eye to marijuana and alcohol use, poor choice of peer group, poor choice of partner, etc. Accepting responsibility - without putting a spin on why one behaved the way they behaved (IMO, very rampant today), would almost require one to be a non-conformist today.

 

[azwriter]

Hi everyone. I have been reading here for a while as a guest, just became a member and this is my first post.

I agree that none of the players accept the blame for their part in anything. Even those who say they did wrong by doing drugs and admit they have to "learn a lesson" will within the same conversation blame LE for their being in jail. Or worse--they blame Haleigh.

Many of us point at the Croslin parents for TC and MC being the way they are, and I will concede there is something to that. However, there comes a time when every person has to accept responsibility for their own actions.

These "kids" knew the difference between right and wrong. Misty's comment on one of the UC videos that she didn't want "to get in trouble" means she knew what she was doing was wrong. I am not sure, however, that she truly believed there could be consequences. Misty had gotten away with a lot in her life and had seen others around her get away with a lot. This no doubt taught her that rarely are there consequences. Misty sits in jail fully expecting there to few, if any, consequences this time, as well.

We hear the Cummings clan (including RC's attorney) throwing out some rather loud hints that Ron was involved in drug deals for no reason other than to find out information about Haleigh. We hear Chelsea assuring Misty that she was "only helping a friend." We hear Tommy whine about all the things he has done in the past that he got away with.

Enough of the "blame game" already! We have heard excuse after excuse, whine after whine, each one blaming him/her/them--but what we have heard so little of to date are remorse and truth.

ALL MOO.

Welcome to WS! You're off to a good start.