4-year-old boy suspended for hair length

[OneLostGrl]

I agree with you in large part, capps. But when a rule is stupid or evil, we need to rebel against it and change it. This rule is stupid and needs to be changed.

So many rules and laws and policies are stupid and evil and need to be changed but until they are we must follow them and encourage our children to do the same. Ya know the rule I always hated the most in school? Having to raise your hand, wait to be called on (or in some cases, have your raised hand be ignored by teachers) and then have to ask permission to use
the restroom. uhh Dude, I gotta pee and your gonna tell me I can't? haha yeah right. I had a mother who told me "don't ask,
just go-tell 'em your going to the bathroom and go". Another rule I remember hating was when we went to the nurses office if you didn't have a temp or a stomach bug she wouldn't send you home. So I complained about that stupid rule too, it was stupid- who was she to tell me cuz I didn't have a temp that I'm not sick? So my mom backed me on that too- told the nurse, "You call me if my child comes to the nurse and wants to come home, temp or not!"

Then I had teachers who gave too much homework, which was also stupid and evil. I did work all day at school, why did I need to do another 1 1/2 or 2 hours of work once I got home? So I stopped doing homework, 'course I'm sure you probably figured out by now, my mom backed me on that too! Started to fight the school about the amount of work they sent kids home with. Same went for detentions for "stupid" reasons, like coming to school 10 minutes tardy but being held after school for 40 minutes. and on and on.. ending with swearing at the principle and having mom back me on that too. What I learned was that I didn't have to follow the same rules as everyone else did.. that the rules did not apply to me. When in reality they soon would and it would have been best for me to learn that then while I was still a child. Woulda saved me a lot of trouble!

Life is not fair- we have to deal with people we will dislike and rules we disagree with and it's best we teach our kids that now, while they are young so they can be all adapted to the stupidity of it all by the time they are adults and have to follow rules of employers and law enforcement. I agree about the hair thing- big friggin' deal, it's just hair and kids need to be able to express who they are and try out different things. My son did the long hair phase and now has those big a$$ holes in his ear (gauges?!) and I hate 'em but it's about finding out who they are and I support that 100%! But IMO the most important thing our children need to find out is that rules are there for a reason and until we can go about changing them properly we must follow them.

I love my mom to death for always backing me with school and stuff but it didn't teach me anything.

 

[PorcineGranny]

Lostgirl, I understood your post and for the most part agreed The only thing I'm taking exception with is the big ear holes now. As long as they put their feet under my table, they will abide by my rules. I don't think the haircutting rule is evil, I want my child to look neat and clean. My younger daughter attended a school where girls could only wear dresses, I loved that rule. Maybe my age is showing here, but I say choose your battles and the length of a haircut is not worth the anxiety. I'm not saying a buzz cut, but a regular haircut is acceptable. In the area where I live, a boy with hair that long would be an outcast, made fun of.

 

[PorcineGranny]

I went back and read everyone's imput. I am a little surprised at the responses here. Its a rule that you don't steal from others, if you want to do it , does that make it alright? I see nothing wrong with children learning that in life there are rules, that we must obey to be in our society. Those parents have decided to send their child to public school, so they should obey the rules there. Someone said they had no choice, there is always a choice.
If its that important, they should homeschool or seek a private school. Thats their freedom of choice. Imo, he should get a haircut, he is adorable, but he will be a better person learning to obey rules.

 

[southcitymom]

It's hard for me. I am incapable of obeying rules that I find to be stupid or wrong. I have been this way since I was a child. My siblings are not this way, so my parents cannot be blamed for my deep-seated belief that it makes no sense to follow rules just because they are rules. In all honesty, I don't even understand that mindset. I question everything I am told I should or shouldn't do.

Fortunately for "society," I have a fairly well-developed moral code and most (but not all) laws make sense to me and so I don't have a problem obeying them.

If I were the mother in this case, I know I would have a real quandry. On the one hand, the hair-length rule is so stupid and meaningless, forcing my son to obey it would teach him that it is important to do stupid and meaningless things because someone tells him to.

On the other hand, forcing my son to rebel against the rule places undue focus on a ridiculous issue AND teaches the child that the power in this case is HIS when, if fact, it is not. It's bratty to pretend a 4-year-old can make a meaningful stand here - 4-year-olds wear their hair the way their parents want them to wear their hair.

Probably, I would cut his hair and be very nonchalant about it. "We need to do this because these are the school's rules. I don't like the rule because it doesn't make any sense. In fact, it's such a silly rule, it's not worth fighting about. If you want to grow your hair again this summer, that's fine."

Then, if the issue meant enough to me, I would find a different school to be a part of.

That's the way I personally would probably handle it. Still, it's such a stupid (and, IMHO, sexist) rule, I'm glad the school is on the hot plate about it.

 

[southcitymom]

So many rules and laws and policies are stupid and evil and need to be changed but until they are we must follow them and encourage our children to do the same. Ya know the rule I always hated the most in school? Having to raise your hand, wait to be called on (or in some cases, have your raised hand be ignored by teachers) and then have to ask permission to use
the restroom. uhh Dude, I gotta pee and your gonna tell me I can't? haha yeah right. I had a mother who told me "don't ask,
just go-tell 'em your going to the bathroom and go". Another rule I remember hating was when we went to the nurses office if you didn't have a temp or a stomach bug she wouldn't send you home. So I complained about that stupid rule too, it was stupid- who was she to tell me cuz I didn't have a temp that I'm not sick? So my mom backed me on that too- told the nurse, "You call me if my child comes to the nurse and wants to come home, temp or not!"

Then I had teachers who gave too much homework, which was also stupid and evil. I did work all day at school, why did I need to do another 1 1/2 or 2 hours of work once I got home? So I stopped doing homework, 'course I'm sure you probably figured out by now, my mom backed me on that too! Started to fight the school about the amount of work they sent kids home with. Same went for detentions for "stupid" reasons, like coming to school 10 minutes tardy but being held after school for 40 minutes. and on and on.. ending with swearing at the principle and having mom back me on that too. What I learned was that I didn't have to follow the same rules as everyone else did.. that the rules did not apply to me. When in reality they soon would and it would have been best for me to learn that then while I was still a child. Woulda saved me a lot of trouble!

Life is not fair- we have to deal with people we will dislike and rules we disagree with and it's best we teach our kids that now, while they are young so they can be all adapted to the stupidity of it all by the time they are adults and have to follow rules of employers and law enforcement. I agree about the hair thing- big friggin' deal, it's just hair and kids need to be able to express who they are and try out different things. My son did the long hair phase and now has those big a$$ holes in his ear (gauges?!) and I hate 'em but it's about finding out who they are and I support that 100%! But IMO the most important thing our children need to find out is that rules are there for a reason and until we can go about changing them properly we must follow them.

I love my mom to death for always backing me with school and stuff but it didn't teach me anything.

I loved this post, OLG, and I could go on and on about the ridiculous things we have to learn here in order to "adapt to the stupidity" (love that phrase!) of our world. But that's probably a subject for another thread.

I definitely agree that it is at least as important to teach a child that he/she cannot always get their own way in this world as it is to teach a school not to waste everyone's time with stupid rules about hair length.

 

[Celt1997]

In the end, though, I think that this rule is obviously discriminatory. If it applies to the boys, then it should apply to the girls as well.

On top of that the basis for the school supporting this rule is beyond reasonable. Does the school district really feel that the style of someone's hair has ANY impact on how much they contribute to society?

We can argue back and forth about if the parent is doing the right thing, or teaching their child about following rules, but, to me, the issue is the actual RULE, not the adherence.

 

[southcitymom]

In the end, though, I think that this rule is obviously discriminatory. If it applies to the boys, then it should apply to the girls as well.

On top of that the basis for the school supporting this rule is beyond reasonable. Does the school district really feel that the style of someone's hair has ANY impact on how much they contribute to society?

We can argue back and forth about if the parent is doing the right thing, or teaching their child about following rules, but, to me, the issue is the actual RULE, not the adherence.

UBM

I agree completely - which makes it stupid AND evil!

 

[pamlet]

I went back and read everyone's imput. I am a little surprised at the responses here. Its a rule that you don't steal from others, if you want to do it , does that make it alright? I see nothing wrong with children learning that in life there are rules, that we must obey to be in our society. Those parents have decided to send their child to public school, so they should obey the rules there. Someone said they had no choice, there is always a choice.
If its that important, they should homeschool or seek a private school. Thats their freedom of choice. Imo, he should get a haircut, he is adorable, but he will be a better person learning to obey rules.

I TOTALLY agree.

To me the issue here is the MOTHER being rebellious against the rule - which teaches the child even further that he can pick and choose what rules to obey ..

I really do NOT believe that the CHILD is insisting on his "style" at four years old ... It's the mother.

IMO - if the mother disagrees with the rule - she needs to first obey it (it is NOT hurting her child) and at that point fight the rule with the board through proper channels. That way she will teach the child that while she believe the rule is "wrong" it is still important to obey ... then get it changed.

 

[Boyz_Mum]

I could be mistaken, I think the boy wants to grow his hair in order to donate the hair for wigs for cancer patients. Older article but mentions the reason: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/17/taylor-pugh-4yearold-texa_n_395550.html

 

[Soulmagent]

I do not believe the school is entilted to make decided what kind of hairstyle anyone's child wears. I am also agaisnt random searches. Our children are being taught in school that being denied their rights granted in the Constitution is exceptable in a school setting which sets groundwork for adults who do not know that they have rights that should not be violated because they were bought up to think they did not have any.
Rosa parks sparked a change in rules by sitting in a seat in a bus ,she broke the rule and others rallied behind her to make it change. History is full of rule breakers and rebels who broke rules. Otherwise we would still be under english rule.

 

[southcitymom]

I do not believe the school is entilted to make decided what kind of hairstyle anyone's child wears. I am also agaisnt random searches. Our children are being taught in school that being denied their rights granted in the Constitution is exceptable in a school setting which sets groundwork for adults who do not know that they have rights that should not be violated because they were bought up to think they did not have any.
Rosa parks sparked a change in rules by sitting in a seat in a bus ,she broke the rule and others rallied behind her to make it change. History is full of rule breakers and rebels who broke rules. Otherwise we would still be under english rule.

BBM - love those people! Christ Himself was an unrepentant rebel.....and he probably had long hair!

"Well-behaved women rarely make history!" :dance:

 

[kgeaux]

Francine, I see your point, but my view is this.....in life we all have to conform to a certain extent to thrive. When his parents chose to send him to public school they should be willing to honor the rules there as long as they do not intimidate or hurt anyone. Hes four years old, his parents should cut his hair. If they don't want to make him cut his hair, homeschool him. This is one of those silly issues we get hung up on when really serious stuff is ignored.

I think I understand where you are coming from, Granny, but don't you also think the Public School system should adhere to the laws which state it is illegal to discriminate against anyone based on their color or sex? Homeschooling is a wonderful opportunity for many children and their parents, but if the parent has no desire to homeschool, has below average intelligence, is under-educated themselves or must work many hours out of the home to survive, then homeschooling becomes a non-viable alternative. I don't know this family, but I do know that any parent who is forced to homeschool their child so that the rights given to them by our country can be lived out means that our justice system has failed.

This particular child seems to be growing his hair so that he can donate it to Locks of Love. Since I have seen my own boys do this same thing----in response to watching young friends lose their hair due to cancer treatments---I admire this child. His hair is clean, well cared for and doesn't seem to be disruptive to other children at all.

 

[kgeaux]

Celine's boy looks like a girl...totally. Young kids normally don't care about
hair.....can't we all just kinda follow the rules...they are life changing so what is the problem.

Years ago we could'nt wear pants or jeans to school. So we didn't.
I don't get why a parent wouldn't cut a 6 year olds hair and no, I don't
give HIM credit for standing by his decision.

Oh, I think he is very masculine! Of course, this statment is made by a woman whose husband has a pony tail down to the bottom of his shoulder blades-----I truly do not see hair as a defining aspect of any sex!

Before giving him credit, I guess we'd have to know if the decision to grow his hair is his own, if it truly results in the desire to donate his hair to locks of love, and if his decision was motivated by watching someone he cared for lose their hair to cancer treatments. Locks of Love is a VERY worthwhile charity, and many, many children have benefited from it's generosity.

BTW, over here, girls were given the right to wear pants to school because it was determined to be sexually discriminatory to force girls to wear skirts/dresses.

 

[kgeaux]

So many rules and laws and policies are stupid and evil and need to be changed but until they are we must follow them and encourage our children to do the same. Ya know the rule I always hated the most in school? Having to raise your hand, wait to be called on (or in some cases, have your raised hand be ignored by teachers) and then have to ask permission to use
the restroom. uhh Dude, I gotta pee and your gonna tell me I can't? haha yeah right. I had a mother who told me "don't ask,
just go-tell 'em your going to the bathroom and go". Another rule I remember hating was when we went to the nurses office if you didn't have a temp or a stomach bug she wouldn't send you home. So I complained about that stupid rule too, it was stupid- who was she to tell me cuz I didn't have a temp that I'm not sick? So my mom backed me on that too- told the nurse, "You call me if my child comes to the nurse and wants to come home, temp or not!"

Then I had teachers who gave too much homework, which was also stupid and evil. I did work all day at school, why did I need to do another 1 1/2 or 2 hours of work once I got home? So I stopped doing homework, 'course I'm sure you probably figured out by now, my mom backed me on that too! Started to fight the school about the amount of work they sent kids home with. Same went for detentions for "stupid" reasons, like coming to school 10 minutes tardy but being held after school for 40 minutes. and on and on.. ending with swearing at the principle and having mom back me on that too. What I learned was that I didn't have to follow the same rules as everyone else did.. that the rules did not apply to me. When in reality they soon would and it would have been best for me to learn that then while I was still a child. Woulda saved me a lot of trouble!

Life is not fair- we have to deal with people we will dislike and rules we disagree with and it's best we teach our kids that now, while they are young so they can be all adapted to the stupidity of it all by the time they are adults and have to follow rules of employers and law enforcement. I agree about the hair thing- big friggin' deal, it's just hair and kids need to be able to express who they are and try out different things. My son did the long hair phase and now has those big a$$ holes in his ear (gauges?!) and I hate 'em but it's about finding out who they are and I support that 100%! But IMO the most important thing our children need to find out is that rules are there for a reason and until we can go about changing them properly we must follow them.

I love my mom to death for always backing me with school and stuff but it didn't teach me anything.

Girl, I respect you so much, you know I do. You have been an incredible help to me when dealing with the problems my youngest son had, and I will always be thankful for you because of that!

So I hope you don't get mad at me: but some rules are wrong. Some rules discriminate against females, against males, against races, etc. Should African Americans still be sitting at the back of the bus and drinking out of segregated water fountains, simply because that was the rule and it should have been obeyed? Or should Rosa have sat in the front of the bus and refused to obey an unjust rule? Maybe our founding fathers were idiots to throw all that tea into the Boston Harbor to rebel against taxation without representation......or maybe they were right to fight an injustice? While I realize we cannot raise our children to rebel against all societal norms, there are wrong norms that must be corrected. Thank God for Rosa!

Since all school districts across our nation do not enforce the same set of rules, then it seems to me that there is some "Texan" thinking involved in this rule. If a child in New Jersey, New York, California or other states can wear his hair long and STILL be expected to be a success, then we have to ask ourselves whether there is a prejudice at play in the Mesquite district. And if there is, then I see no alternative but to support this child and his parents in their attempt to overcome the prejudice.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Girl, I respect you so much, you know I do. You have been an incredible help to me when dealing with the problems my youngest son had, and I will always be thankful for you because of that!

So I hope you don't get mad at me: but some rules are wrong. Some rules discriminate against females, against males, against races, etc. Should African Americans still be sitting at the back of the bus and drinking out of segregated water fountains, simply because that was the rule and it should have been obeyed? Or should Rosa have sat in the front of the bus and refused to obey an unjust rule? Maybe our founding fathers were idiots to throw all that tea into the Boston Harbor to rebel against taxation without representation......or maybe they were right to fight an injustice? While I realize we cannot raise our children to rebel against all societal norms, there are wrong norms that must be corrected. Thank God for Rosa!

Since all school districts across our nation do not enforce the same set of rules, then it seems to me that there is some "Texan" thinking involved in this rule. If a child in New Jersey, New York, California or other states can wear his hair long and STILL be expected to be a success, then we have to ask ourselves whether there is a prejudice at play in the Mesquite district. And if there is, then I see no alternative but to support this child and his parents in their attempt to overcome the prejudice.

LOL- of course I wouldn't get mad at you! :blowkiss:

I am a rule breaker all the way down to my bones! My whole life I thrived on doing the stuff authority said "no" to. But it was just constant turmoil and resentment and it got me nowhere but under arrest, fired from jobs and hating the people who's job it is to enforce the rules and in the end I was still facing the same rules- it changed nothing! The way this woman is acting, the way she is teaching her child to act (stubborn- and offering up no real option for change) won't change things either. I still fight for what I think is right but I follow the rules and let my son know I expect him to as well until I can come up with a way to create change. If I find that I can't.. that there is no way around it, I use it as a lesson to teach my son about the unfairness of the world.

I'm not saying don't be loud, I'm not saying don't help create change I'm just saying watch how ya go about it because your kids are watching and learning from you.