CA Refused To Watch Caylee for PR Trip Around Same Time KC's Googles?? Motive!

[Chilly Willy]

Bravo, butwhatif. Excellent post. I will never understand the 'it's Cindy's fault that Casey killed Caylee' mentality.

It seems that if Cindy didn't kiss Casey's backside and jump when Casey wanted her to, she's accused of intentionally making Casey's life difficult. If Cindy did give in to Casey, she gets accused of not making Casey live up to her responsibilities. In the minds of some people, no matter what Cindy did, it was wrong. I must have been standing in the wrong line when they passed out the "How to be a Perfect Parent" books. :waitasec:

 

[Asti]

butwhatif I have so say that I really agree with you. CA was stuck in a no win situation. I just don't see where KC had such a horrible life. It looked like her family bent over backwards to help her and when she just resisted then they focused on that little child. Sure since all this has happended CA has had some odd reactions but how on earth do you have anything else. It isn't just that her grand daughter is dead but her daughter is accused of killing her. How is anything normal after all that. And once again if she doesn't stand behind her daughter she will have those who say she is heartless and never loved KC and if she does show that in spite of it all it is her daughter and she doesn't want to "help" her get the death penalty then she really didn't love Caylee. It is a hard middle of the road to follow when your heart is in broken and your life is in shambles.

 

[gardenhart]

Bravo, butwhatif. Excellent post. I will never understand the 'it's Cindy's fault that Casey killed Caylee' mentality.

It seems that if Cindy didn't kiss Casey's backside and jump when Casey wanted her to, she's accused of intentionally making Casey's life difficult. If Cindy did give in to Casey, she gets accused of not making Casey live up to her responsibilities. In the minds of some people, no matter what Cindy did, it was wrong. I must have been standing in the wrong line when they passed out the "How to be a Perfect Parent" books. :waitasec:

Giving in or not giving in to every whim of Casey's and making sure her grandchild was getting proper care are not mutually exclusive, either/or options.

Nor does it follow that just because some websleuths believe Cindy's or Cindy and George's parenting created a spoiled brat (or wherever on the spoiled to mentally ill scale you want to place Casey) that this carries through to mean they believe Cindy or George or anyone else is to blame for whatever actions that spoiled brat chose to do.

 

[beach]

Excellent post, butwhatif.

The thing that keeps coming to my mind is as long as we disect CA's entire life, assume we know her motives for her actions, and directly, or indirectly, hold her responsible for the decisions of her 22 yr. old lying, stealing , murdering daughter...it only serves to enable KC more. I flat refuse to give her another reason to excuse or shirk responsibilty for her own actions one.more.time.

fwiw, I am NOT a big fan of CA. I think she's a control freak who has made some terrible choices and has opted to live in a safe state of denial. However, I give her major props for working her butt off to financially support that family when it seemed like no one else was working or job secure. I imagine she was under a crap load of pressure all the way around. It is clear to me that CA adored Caylee and KC knew it. Just like she knew that she held the biggest trump card of all. I try to remember what GA (LA?) said - (paraphrasing)...not one of you wants to be in this family's shoes". Dang straight. Not me.

Instinctively, we need for things to make some sort of sense. I 'get' the reasons for trying to understand CA, and don't disagree. I try to bridge the gaps, too. I just can't get on the band wagon that CA's (non)actions in re. parenting KC produced a liar, thief and, ultimately, murderer. KC is just an evil person.

--jmho

 

[Searchfortruth]

Excellent post, butwhatif.

The thing that keeps coming to my mind is as long as we disect CA's entire life, assume we know her motives for her actions, and directly, or indirectly, hold her responsible for the decisions of her 22 yr. old lying, stealing , murdering daughter...it only serves to enable KC more. I flat refuse to give her another reason to excuse or shirk responsibilty for her own actions one.more.time.

fwiw, I am NOT a big fan of CA. I think she's a control freak who has made some terrible choices and has opted to live in a safe state of denial. However, I give her major props for working her butt off to financially support that family when it seemed like no one else was working or job secure. I imagine she was under a crap load of pressure all the way around. It is clear to me that CA adored Caylee and KC knew it. Just like she knew that she held the biggest trump card of all. I try to remember what GA (LA?) said - (paraphrasing)...not one of you wants to be in this family's shoes". Dang straight. Not me.

Instinctively, we need for things to make some sort of sense. I 'get' the reasons for trying to understand CA, and don't disagree. I try to bridge the gaps, too. I just can't get on the band wagon that CA's (non)actions in re. parenting KC produced a liar, thief and, ultimately, murderer. KC is just an evil person.

--jmho

Thank you for this post. I never really thought of it like that, by blaming Cindy, I am enabling Casey...but, you are right, and I certainly don't want to enable Casey ! I do appreciate your post, it made me look at it in a different light !

 

[jandkmom]

While I do not think that anyone has the blame for the death of Caylee except the killer, I think each person in the family is going to have to deal with their actions before and after Caylee's death. There was more enabling instead of parenting and lots of looking the other way. I believe the whole family knew that Casey didn't have a job as there would have been checks seen and IRS paperwork filed. I also don't believe that CA offered to drop off Caylee anywhere during the time that Casey was supposed to go to Puerto Rico. If she had not dropped Caylee off not one day or picked her up one day during her 2 1/2 years, she was not going to start then.

 

[beach]

Thank you for this post. I never really thought of it like that, by blaming Cindy, I am enabling Casey...but, you are right, and I certainly don't want to enable Casey ! I do appreciate your post, it made me look at it in a different light !

.
:blowkiss:

thank you

sometimes i will read something and think , 'if KC could read this, she'd have an armory of new excuses AND she'd be laughing her a$$ off'. that mental image makes me crazy mad.

 

[beach]

While I do not think that anyone has the blame for the death of Caylee except the killer, I think each person in the family is going to have to deal with their actions before and after Caylee's death. There was more enabling instead of parenting and lots of looking the other way.

--respectfully snipped

i totally agree. no doubt, dysfuntional on sooooo many levels. i think all of that should be studied; there is much to be learned. i just don't want KC's responsibility minimized or excused, in any way.

 

[ThoughtFox]

Not to mention she "Wanted" Caylee for herself and yet "FORCED" Casey to take responsibility for Caylee. She also told many people she would TAKE Caylee for herself and then also told people she could not AFFORD to keep Caylee. She also tells people that she only wanted Caylee for herself and Casey could leave at any point but yet REFUSED to babysit Caylee sometimes. She would at times take her no problem and then at other times berate KC and harrass her to come home and watch her kid.

SO WHICH IS IT CINDY?

I was a very young mother and had my son at 16 years of age, my mother allowed me to go out with friends and finsish school - my mother understood my young mind and how it felt and so she took her grandson no problem no guilt nothing and often I didn't have the need to go out with friends - we never had that guilt trip tug of war - I never had a reason to resent my child.

*I also want to add - that I worked from the age of 16 and contributed to our household.

KC had major problems. NO JOB, NO SITTER, NO MONEY, and a mother sending her mixed signals constantly.

Sorry - still no sympathy from me. Lots of people have issues with their parents or in-laws but don't kill their children. And sorry, too, about how young she was but Casey spent loads of time partying - the pictures and her text messages prove that.

You have a right to feel the way you do, but in my opinion we can't pin everything on Cindy - that's not fair. Having an argument over babysitting - even several arguments over years - isn't just cause for murdering a helpless child.

Casey was a grown woman and she wasn't a "new mother" anymore. It just won't fly in court that Casey was a victim of her mother. Juries won't see it that way.

Cindy wasn't blameless - she didn't seek full custody. But Caylee had a mother, and maybe Cindy didn't want as much control as people think. She and her husband gave up their home and much of their time to take care of Caylee, and they treated her with love. That counts for alot with me.

Yeah, Cindy had mixed feelings - raising a small child in your forties is alot of responsibility when you think your children are grown. I'm not ready to be a grandmother myself, just as Casey wasn't ready to be a Mom.