Ok, here is what I came up with in my meditation. This is basically like free-association writing for me. I ask Tara (if you believe shes on the other side as I do) to show me images of things that she wants us to know. I also add my own interpretation based on what I feel being in the meditation. If you dont believe in any of this nonsense, thats OK, I just ask that you be kind and open minded. My attempt is a sincere one, even if you dont believe in what I do.
Also, remember that the images Ive noted can be symbolic or literal. Thanks for reading!
I see Tara in two different ways: first, standing in front of me, facing me, and shes wearing jeans and a red t-shirt. The
red shirt has a white swish on it, underneath white text, but I cant make out what that text says. Shes wearing a short necklace, black maybe. I ask her to show me something, she hands me a small light-colored ceramic bulb or round dish. It feels like this is something she cherishes, possibly tied to her childhood or teenage years, like a special music box. She shows me a small table, like an end table, thats white. She also shows me something yellow and sparkly, which I can only describe as gold nuggets. I cant get a sense of scale, though -- if these are small or large, like a canyon.
I feel a burst of anger toward her, that shes not who she pretends to be, that shes fake, a flirt.
I also see Tara a second way, at night time, wearing a white dress. Its a halter top, clasped behind her neck, but short (knee length), and shes wearing a short white beaded necklace. I see her from behind, and shes slowly stepping into a cold lake. The necklace feels like its a collar almost a choking feeling.
A phrase I hear often when I see her is barking up the wrong tree, like everyone is looking in another direction, while someone sneaks away.
The images play faster: red tulips, dog hair on her clothes, a white sweater, sunglasses, police swarming, an old computer, images of her and her boyfriend on the screen.
I feel the texture of a police uniform and have always felt a way-too closeness of police in this case. I feel my hands running over the objects in her room a vase, her curling iron, a scarf.
She shows me something being pushed/moved, feels like a heavy cardboard box. Theres an H word written on the side, like Handy or Hardy.
She says, There are tracks. She also says names to me, like she says, Marcus, but I dont feel like that can be trusted, because I know some of the key players in the case, and my subconscious could be intervening.
I think the big takeaways for me from this meditation are: the water scene with her in the white dress/necklace,
the t-shirt logo (what IS that logo?), the gold canyon, the burst of anger I felt toward her for being fake, officer involvement, and the cardboard box with Handy or Hardy on it. If I think of anything else, Ill let you know.
