shrinkydink
Former Member
I would like to say the main reason I mentioned income level in another thread is that someone else said that she had no empathy for KM because she had "more resources", as if that was an excuse for not having empathy for the woman.
I do think that people tend to believe that more money buys more security than it really does. Life is much more complicated than that. I think having less money but an excellent support system is better than tons of money and a really awful support system. (Anyone seen Britney lately, with her 750,000 a month? Well, there's an example of what I mean.) Money can't buy trust, love or honesty. KM, if she really was stressed to her limits, as was implied earlier, is as worthy of sympathy as a mother with less money, I believe. That was the whole money argument from my side.
I agree with many here that the McCann family has not made a good public impression at all. They do seem to be amazingly inept in the public eye. This might because they are cold-blooded, or it might be because they are just stupid. Then again, they might be simply clueless as to how the media chews people up & spits them out again. Few of us are used to the whole world watching our every move, and I just think it might be harder to manage than we try to pretend.
I think my main point in all my posts today is that so many people seem willing to judge very harshly on almost no evidence at all. Yes, they were really stupid to leave their children alone like that. Not to burst anyone's bubble, but that sort of thing is sadly very, very common in Europe. I know lots of people who are otherwise what I consider conscientious parents who go to resorts and do the same thing. People in Switzerland are, in fact, told by the schools that children Madeleine's age MUST be allowed to walk to school alone, since that builds character. We have been told we are bad parents if we walk a four-year-old to school, because this is stunting their emotional growth. This was such a big issue it was front page news in a Zurich paper recently. Meanwhile, a five-year-old girl's body was found this week. Her case is being investigated for links to Madeleine's case, since the suspect was living in Spain with his wife before he came back here to kidnap the Swiss girl.
Anyway, here it is a different mentality, and I feel this is being ignored by people commenting on this case. Ideas of safety for children are not the same, no matter how wrong this may seem or be.
I am known as the crazy, over-protective American because I won't do that. - leave my child alone, let her walk alone. I think most people here are grossly underestimating just how true it is when Kate Mccan says they really didn't think it was that big a deal to leave their children alone when they were sleeping. They had done it all week, by their own admission. One more night, they would have been home, and none of us ever would have heard of them. I have Swedish, Swiss and Italian neighbors who do this all the time, still. To them, this case is too rare to worry about. As they put it, your child is more likely to be hit twice by lightening than to be abducted by a stranger, so you're crazy to worry so much about it.Again, another mentality.
I am not defending what I also think is irresponsible behavior. I do think, though, that people are ready to hang KM when no one knows what really happened that night. If her greatest crime was leaving her children alone that night, then I think KM has paid the price already. What could be worse than to lose your child forever like that, just because you did what everyone else was doing? All her friends left their children alone that night, too, but they got to take their kids back to England. Dumb choices don't always end in something as awful as a lost child. People get away with it every day, we just like to pretend they don't.
I don't know what happened, and neither does anyone else here. What I find appalling is how quickly people are willing to blame a mother based on what even the police say is no substantial evidence at all. Show me some evidence, and I'm ready to change my mind. I don't see anything yet, though, but a modern day witch hunt. If it weren't, people would be baying for the father's blood just as much as the mother's.
Shrinky
I do think that people tend to believe that more money buys more security than it really does. Life is much more complicated than that. I think having less money but an excellent support system is better than tons of money and a really awful support system. (Anyone seen Britney lately, with her 750,000 a month? Well, there's an example of what I mean.) Money can't buy trust, love or honesty. KM, if she really was stressed to her limits, as was implied earlier, is as worthy of sympathy as a mother with less money, I believe. That was the whole money argument from my side.
I agree with many here that the McCann family has not made a good public impression at all. They do seem to be amazingly inept in the public eye. This might because they are cold-blooded, or it might be because they are just stupid. Then again, they might be simply clueless as to how the media chews people up & spits them out again. Few of us are used to the whole world watching our every move, and I just think it might be harder to manage than we try to pretend.
I think my main point in all my posts today is that so many people seem willing to judge very harshly on almost no evidence at all. Yes, they were really stupid to leave their children alone like that. Not to burst anyone's bubble, but that sort of thing is sadly very, very common in Europe. I know lots of people who are otherwise what I consider conscientious parents who go to resorts and do the same thing. People in Switzerland are, in fact, told by the schools that children Madeleine's age MUST be allowed to walk to school alone, since that builds character. We have been told we are bad parents if we walk a four-year-old to school, because this is stunting their emotional growth. This was such a big issue it was front page news in a Zurich paper recently. Meanwhile, a five-year-old girl's body was found this week. Her case is being investigated for links to Madeleine's case, since the suspect was living in Spain with his wife before he came back here to kidnap the Swiss girl.
Anyway, here it is a different mentality, and I feel this is being ignored by people commenting on this case. Ideas of safety for children are not the same, no matter how wrong this may seem or be.
I am known as the crazy, over-protective American because I won't do that. - leave my child alone, let her walk alone. I think most people here are grossly underestimating just how true it is when Kate Mccan says they really didn't think it was that big a deal to leave their children alone when they were sleeping. They had done it all week, by their own admission. One more night, they would have been home, and none of us ever would have heard of them. I have Swedish, Swiss and Italian neighbors who do this all the time, still. To them, this case is too rare to worry about. As they put it, your child is more likely to be hit twice by lightening than to be abducted by a stranger, so you're crazy to worry so much about it.Again, another mentality.
I am not defending what I also think is irresponsible behavior. I do think, though, that people are ready to hang KM when no one knows what really happened that night. If her greatest crime was leaving her children alone that night, then I think KM has paid the price already. What could be worse than to lose your child forever like that, just because you did what everyone else was doing? All her friends left their children alone that night, too, but they got to take their kids back to England. Dumb choices don't always end in something as awful as a lost child. People get away with it every day, we just like to pretend they don't.
I don't know what happened, and neither does anyone else here. What I find appalling is how quickly people are willing to blame a mother based on what even the police say is no substantial evidence at all. Show me some evidence, and I'm ready to change my mind. I don't see anything yet, though, but a modern day witch hunt. If it weren't, people would be baying for the father's blood just as much as the mother's.
Shrinky