Huckaby told friends she was raped by a cop

[Winnow]

Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/ful...get=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

 

[SuziQ]

How are you so convinced she is innocent? Do you not believe the police have worked diligently in preparing their case against her? Do you honestly think they would arrest her without having adequate proof to back it up and to risk their own careers by this move? Would you be willing to let her babysit your children right now? Are you that convinced of her innocence?!

I have no pity for people who rape and murder children. I believe LE can prove their case and I pray she doesn't walk because one person on the jury feels sorry for her in any way.

I hear you SS. I've often said that the people with this thought process might have a change of heart if these perps had to go live with them and their children. Heck, we might have parole boards and judges make better decisions if this was a requirement.

 

[snapdragon]

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/ful...get=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

Oh what a tangled web we weave....

 

[SuziQ]

Someone has probably already said this, but anyway......If she was wrongfully accused of this crime, why would she have said it was an accident?

If she were innocent, she would protest being accused and arrested at all, not trying to invent new ways to make the crime appear less heinous.

As far as her claim that she was raped by a cop....who knows?

In fact, in LE interrogations, LE will often play a sympathetic role towards a suspect saying over and over "this is the chance to tell your side of the story" "maybe you didn't mean it", etc. And usually a suspect that goes on to confess will dowplay their involvement by saying the murder was either an accident, self defense, or the victim wronged the suspect somehow and deserved it. LE has gotten their admission from the suspect that they caused the death. It's up to the prosecutor to show and prove motive in court.

 

[panthera]

I agree. If she was raped, you would think that she would know the horror and pain and not then do this to a young innocent 8 year old girl. Now had she kidnapped the alleged police man who raped her and raped him with a foreign object then I might could squeeze a tad of sympathy out for MH. JMO

Exactly. How many rape victims abduct, rape and then kill an innocent little girl? If anything, they'd want to help others avoid what they've been through. MOO

 

[tiredofthis]

Why is it that so many feel sympathy towards a criminal when they see what appears to be remorse? IMO Melissa, like so many other murderers, don't reflect a person who has an ounce of empathy towards their victims when they take their life. So it would not make a lick of sense that they would suddenly show sympathy once they are arrested and charged. What does make sense is that they are grieving for themselves and the situation that they got themselves into. They are grieving for their own life ruined. They are upset because they got caught.

I don't feel remorse for MH, however I do believe there was some form of abuse in her past which caused her to commit this crime. This doesn't make what she did okay and she shouldn't get sympathy for her actions. I will argue for and sympathize with victims of sex abuse nonstop, but the minute a former victim crosses the line and becomes an abuser themselves, my sympathy goes out the window.

 

[tiredofthis]

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/ful...get=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

Oh what a tangled web we weave....

Well, there goes that story, time for her to make up a new excuse.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

She convinced 3 people she was raped by the cop. Interesting how she has been practicing being a victim for 10 years. This should tell us quite a bit about her personality.

 

[snapdragon]

I think the compassion some try to feel for MH is a coping mechanism.. a way of making sense of the senseless. I am reading other boards too and seeing that some feel sorry for her hard life. Wow, is all I have to say. What a hard life. I, personally, went through a divorce early on, my husband cheating on me, got laid off, went back to college, got a great job, got a cancer diagnosis, beat it, got married, got pregnant with my one and only child, stayed on bedrest for 6mos with dr.s telling me I was gonna lose her, gave birth, went back to work full time while raising my young daughter and my 16yr old stepson.

My husband lost his first wife to cancer, raised his son alone until he met me.

My dear friend lost her 19y/o daughter 15yrs ago to her violent boyfriend who strangled her in her own home, drove her in a car to a secluded area, and set her and the car on fire. My friend will go to Corcoran prison in less than 2wks to again fight his parole, a lovely activity she has had to endure every 5yrs for the past 15.

Have I, my husband, or my friend ever thought about raping and killing a little girl because life stresses us out? Because we have been dealt hard blows? God no. Never crossed my mind. Do I sometime fantasize about running away from home and living by the beach? Yes! My point is, NORMAL people do not kill/rage on other people when life's hard knocks come a knockin'. EVERYONE has problems... I have no sympathy for MH. I only have sympathy for Sandra and her family. That's it. She had a RIGHT to play in her neighborhood without thinking some psycho would take her and brutalize her. Boy, I wish I could volunteer for this jury!

Sandra had the misfortune of crossing paths with a psychopath. I do think it was just a matter of being unlucky. If not Sandra, then someone else. Poor, poor little one. Keep her in your mind and heart first. I am now doubting that MH was ever abused in anyway, what with the false rape charges. I am leaning now toward borderline sociopath and narcissist.

 

[Columbo]

What bothers me a little about the officer being "cleared" is that often the police will cover for crimes committed by their own.

Still, considering the source of the accusation, I tend to think the officer probably did not rape her.

 

[SuziQ]

Tori2, IMO, some things, especially murder is unforgiverable and forgiveness is wasted on a criminal. Forgiveness is very overated. I've seen victims and their families chastised and badgered because they won't forgive and "move on". I know for me that witholding forgiveness, especially for something unforgiveable like sex abuse is at least something I can personally hold over my tormentor. And yes, that makes me feel real good! I really feel that forgiveness let's the criminal off the hook and makes them feel better. I know many people, including me, that have forgiven someone for something unforgiveable, regreted it later and became more angry than before. And if they don't forgive they are made to feel guilty for it and feel like they, the victim, has done something wrong. And that's not right.

ETA: I feel that forgiveness is to be cherised and not handed out to everyone, be expected, or demanded by anyone. It should be an individual choice for each person.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

She seems the type to me to make false allegations seeking attention and sympathy.

Just like she said someone stole the very suitcase that belonged to her and put Sandra's body in it.

Just like she said that the death of Sandra was an "accident".

And now just like she said that the cop raped her 10 years ago and the investigation proved it was false.

Well if she craves attention she darn sure will get it this time but it will not gain her any sympathy. She seems to be a chronic liar who spins tales.

I don't find her mentally ill. I do find her wretched, dangerous and disgusting.

imo

 

[gitana1]

I like to think of myself as an old and advanced soul. The bigger picture that we don’t all agree on…I too can agree with compassion and forgiveness, but I’m just not there yet. I know that my vision of a precious child Sandra was happily playing and not bothering anyone; doing what a child is suppose to do…and then came a monster. Sorry, but I’m not there yet…if ever. Thankfully, it really doesn’t matter how I feel, as long as justice is served for Sandra.

I'm with you. I also am very compassionate. I can't hurt a fly. Literally. I feel deeply for people for the smallest hurts they suffer. I cannot satnd seeing people or animals in pain. But, I cannot feel pity for MH right now. I feel sorry for the child she used to be because I sense that she was probably molested when young. I feel sorry for that child. But not for the adult MH who made a conscious decision to act out her own misery by harming another - an innocent, little kid.
We have free will as humans, even disturbed humans. IMO, MH's sick thoughts took precedence over the human rights of little Sandra to live without assault, to be innocent, to be free from harm and to just be.
MH killed her. That was a choice. She knew it was wrong. That is obvious from her post-crime conduct and the way she committed the crime. I apologize if I offend but given these facts, I cannot empathize at the moment. Not for the person she is today.
Reading this article, I do believe MH has a significant Munchausen's component. I do not believe she was raped by a police officer. Claiming rape or claiming to be the victim of another type of crime is very common for people with Munchausen's and Munchausen's by proxy. Interestingly, she also claims to have been assaulted by two exes and her small child is thin and "sickly". The cutting and suicidial ideation and suicide attempt via swallowing razor blades, no less, also fits such a disorder, from what I have learned.
These are people who don't mind hurting themselves or others for attention.
I find it signficant that LE may not have looked at MH if she had not inserted herself into the case by speaking with the media, writing the note and saying the things she did. It seems to me that she may have wanted to get attention by harming a child and then discover "clues" herself that would make her stand out as someone who found something important. Sorry, but these types never engender pity within me. Their sick desire to be noticed regardless of the lives that may be destroyed due to their wants, disgusts me. It's evil.
But, the apparent sexual assault of Sandra before killing her points to something even more sinister than even Munchausen's. I think there may be a pedophilic element as well. I can't find any pity for these types either. Again, they are deciding that their desires, their wants, are more important than an innocent child's need to remain safe, whole and alive.
MH is disturbed, likely because of her childhood, but she clearly knew right from wrong and had control over what she did. That she committed the crime in secret and then tried to cover it up proves that, IMO. Being disturbed may explain the impulses involved in the commission of a crime but it is not an excuse and it certainly should not be a mitigating factor: The majority of people abused in childhood and/or disturbed adults, do NOT become defilers of children. It is a choice.
IMO the adult MH does not deserve our pity, due to the choice she made. My pity is reserved for sweet little Sandra who just wanted to play and have fun being a kid and her devastated family who will not get to put their arms around that little girl for the rest of their days on earth.

 

[gitana1]

I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.

Mouser, I seriously admire your ability to feel compassion for MH even while feeling anger towards her. Compassion, as long as it does not temper reason and a determination to obtain true justice, can never be wrong, IMO. However, I believe that if MH really felt actual remorse for what she did, she would simply plead "Guilty." When she does that, I'll believe she feels remorse. So far, all I have seen her do is lie in a calm voice before the body was found, fail to shed tears when talking about the missing child to reporters and only cry when she is caught, and tell her family that she is innocent. I see no remorse so far.

 

[MCDRAW]

Well, snap, you have sure had your share of troubles; and I think you're right, many of us have. I'm so glad you seem to be in a better place now.

I agree and disagree with you.

I was/am very upset with all the children who are hurt in this world. I will never forget Sandra skipping - EVER! What a joyful child! I'm extremely upset with what happened to her, and to tell you the truth, I am sick to death of all the sexual predators out there. That, and all the parents who should not be parents. How can anyone hurt a child?

Where we differ is that I do feel empathy for any of these people. I once read someone - and I can't remember who it was - say that none of these people started their lives wanting to become murderers, pedophiles, etc. Somewhere, somehow, something went wrong.

Is it some sort of imbalance? Could be, and if so, it bothers me to think that someone may have been born that way. Were they raised with terrible people? Again, it could be, and that is a terrible situation, too. The thing is, something happened to this human being, too. Something went terribly wrong and was never addressed. I do not feel I have the right to judge this person. They will be judged...in the courts and by God.

I guess I just don't think things are so black and white. There are so many variables and we have no clue. Even if she is anti-social diagnosed, that is still something that came to be/or something missing and how can you not have empathy for that?

You don't have to like the person or the act, but to hold onto that much anger is not good. Forgiveness is one of the biggest things we must deal with and it is NOT for the other person...it is to let go of the negativity we hold on to.

I think in cases such as this we should pray for everyone. Do I realize that not everyone can do this? Yes. I do. But, I think that is what we strive for. This is what I truly believe God and every other enlightened prophet has spoken about throughout the ages. Forgiveness is what we must get to.

I personally believe that it comes down to choices. No one had a perfect childhood. The things we go through, either you learn to deal with it and go on or you use it as an excuse. There are things that profoundly effect our lives. People struggle every day with these affects. Most don't use them for excuses to rape and kill. Forgiveness is a good thing but I believe that we can only truly forgive with God's help and when it's right for us. It's an individual choice to forgive. Everyone gets to that place at a different time, if ever. Sometimes the pain is just too great. I believe God understands. I hope.

 

[gitana1]

Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/ful...get=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

I knew it.

 

[gitana1]

Gitana,
Just to make it clear, I do not pity MH. And, contrary to what you might think, many of these people don't always "choose" what they do. There is something wrong with them and they do not make the right choices. That is what Mental Health is all about. I have no clue if MH does or not, but it really doesn't matter. What she did was wrong and she will have to pay the price.

I am right with all of you hating what is happening in the world today; I just view it a little differently. I totally see where you're coming from.

Thank you. I disagree, though, that people like MH do not choose to do what they do. I have studied a significant amount of psychology and as a lawyer, albeit not a criminal one, I know enough about the subject of competency and not guilty by reason of insanity to have a firm foundation for my opinions. Again, I admire the ability to show compassion for a person who may have suffered such as this. I can't. Maybe I'm not a good enough person but I sincerely base my inability to feel compassion on the fact that MH made a choice and that her choice involved the rights, life and light of an 8 year old darling.
I would believe she did not choose to do what she did if she tried to do it on the street in full view of the public. I would believe it was out of her control if she was just as capable of trying to do it to a 200 pound adult male as to an 8 year old child. But, MH did this in secret. It appears she planned to do this by taking the child to an isolated location and not bringing witnesses. Then, she lied about it and tried to cover it up by stashing the body. If it was not in her control, I imagine she would hurl the body on the street in plain view, in a full, psychotic break. None of this happened. MH knew and MH chose, IMO.
It irritates me that many use the excuse that the person was mentally ill so they could not control themselves. The seriously mentally ill people I have knowleldge of that one could say were not in control of themselves do things like slinging their feces around or on themselves, lighting themselves on fire and chewing off their own fingers. They babble, hallucinate and are not coherent in the moments just prior or just after a psychotic episode. MH seemed to be in full control of her mental faculties before and after as she calmly lied to reporters and spoke of Sandra Cantu after she went missing and was found dead.
I'm not buying that MH is in anyway so mentally ill that she could not control what she did.

 

[MCDRAW]

Yes, we have free will and we do have to make choices. Unfortunately, some people's psyche is not equipped correctly; some people have personality disorders; etc., etc. This does not in ANY WAY excuse what they've done. It is just one part of the whole picture. All I am saying is that Forgiveness is NOT about excusing what they've done. It is being able to see the human being underneath the "bad person" and not hold onto anger.

I honestly don't believe that too many people are born as "bad seeds." There's a lot more to it than choice.

I understand what you are saying. I feel like if someone knows right from wrong then it comes down to choices. If they don't know right from wrong then thats a different story. JMO

 

[SuziQ]

Hey Suzi!
I totally hear you and understand. It's very scary to "forgive" someone. But, often "forgiveness" is not truly understood. It does not mean we let the other person off the hook - NO WAY! It does not mean we give them a "pass" for what they've done. None of this is what forgiveness truly means.

I am right there with you in regard to rape, murder, child abuse, etc. The difference is that I don't want to hold on to negativity, and judgmentalness is negativity. I also want to be able to look at the offender and at some level understand (BUT IN NO WAY APPROVE OF OR CONDONE)that this is a human being who somehow, someway got led astray or has medical problems or has also been abused. For whatever reason, this person has chosen to react in horrible ways.

I would never presume to tell someone when or how they should forgive. Maybe they never will. No one has the right to tell someone to "move on" or "suck it up". We just can't possibly understand what another person has been through.

I'll say it again, Forgiveness is NOT for the other person, it is for you. It is letting go of anything that will get in your way. You will never forget, but not forgiving keeps you constantly tied to that other person. In essence you are giving up your power to them! Forgiving and letting go empowers YOU.

I happen to have worked for one of the leading researchers on Forgiveness for many years, and she is now one of my dear friends. I learned a lot and I think if you knew more you might see it differently. But, I will in NO WAY tell you to do this!:blowkiss:

Victims should NEVER feel guilty. EVER!

I don't think forgiveness is overrated...I think it's misunderstood.

Regarding what I bolded. Does a criminal know what forgiveness means? Do you think they've benefited from reading the research your dear friend conducted? I doubt it. In fact most people do not know what forgiveness truly means. To many who receive forgiveness it does mean they they are let off the hook and it does make them feel better. Ever do something bad to someone and they forgave you for it? Did it not make you feel better or not?

Not trying to insult your friend or argue, just wanted to give another person's point of view about forgiveness. And there was a big movement a few years back when soul searching and self help was big and everyone had a book out there. Believe me when I say alot of people like me were left confused, hurt and wondered what was wrong with them because they didn't get it or jump on the forgiveness band wagon. I never heard any of the "experts" state it was ok not to forgive. But I sure heard alot of why we should and that we should.

 

[gitana1]

Yeah, this is a very troubled young woman. I figured as much, too. You know, with all the religious background I'm wondering if maybe she didn't feel a lot of shame in her life. That's what I notice about a lot of preacher's kids. Or, sometimes the church comes before the kids. No matter what, MH was certainly crying out for help - in very, very bad ways.

I agree. I think some times religion is used in a way that prevents a person or family from facing, coping and dealing with things like mental issues or abuse.