If your child were murdered

[srvfan]

I don't have any kids of my own, But I do have two stepdaughters that I love very much. My reaction if someone hurt one of them I think would be pure rage. I wouldn't grieve until the killer was locked up or dead!

 

[Stef88]

Hmmmmmmmmm just watching John Ramsey on Anderson and host asks 'Do you still think about it all the time?' JR says 'Not all the time, no, you've gotta move on in your life'. Really? Most parents would be thinking of their child everyday and wanting justice! I want justice more then ever for JB and she's not even my daughter!

 

[BBB167893]

Hmmmmmmmmm just watching John Ramsey on Anderson and host asks 'Do you still think about it all the time?' JR says 'Not all the time, no, you've gotta move on in your life'. Really? Most parents would be thinking of their child everyday and wanting justice! I want justice more then ever for JB and she's not even my daughter!

It's sad that we care more than he does, isn't it?

 

[Stef88]

It's sad that we care more than he does, isn't it?

Very! Also ridiculously strange, I don't understand how you could not think about it everyday! (Probably trying to block it out...) so weird...It also unsettles me how in alot of interviews of him i've seen JR looks like he is trying not to smile :S

 

[Noodles]

It's sad that we care more than he does, isn't it?

It seems from the beginning he wanted to forget about it. Quite telling IMO.

 

[Mendara]

Oh yes.

I wanna hear from those who think and can show me(DOi quotes,interviews,whatever) that PR loved JB more than herself,her life style and JR.

Exactly.

 

[GingBreade]

I'm just reading along here but had to log in and say 'BULLSHEET'!!! aRE YOU KIDDING ME?

 

[GingBreade]

John and Patsy just let it go man....they forgive and forget. OMG.

It's just annoying to me that they got such a 'pass'.

 

[sandover]

It seems from the beginning he wanted to forget about it. Quite telling IMO.

From the "beginning," the Jan 1 interview on CNN:

***JR: Well we have been pretty isolated -- totally isolated -- for the last five days...***

This from a family that immediately called and received friends, their pastor, and others within minutes of reading the "ransom note."

***JR: ...we know in our hearts that JonBenet is safe and with God and that the grieving that we all have to do is for ourselves and for our loss...***

In under a week, they admit they are thinking about themselves, not their daughter.

***JR: ... for our grief to resolve itself we now have to find out why this happened.***

Not who did it (wonder why they're not curious about that). WHY it happened.

***JR: Well, we were fortunate from almost the moment that we found the note to be surrounded by friends, our minister, our family doctor, a personal friend of mine who is also an attorney...***

But wait! 60 seconds ago you said you were "totally isolated"!!!

I could go on and on and on -- and this was not a particularly long interview. Yes, from the beginning they wanted to forget. In particular they wanted to forget WHO did it by focusing on WHY and they wanted to forget WHO was killed by focusing on themselves.

 

[FairM]

With respect Cynic this is a nonsense post.. no one knows how they would react if their child were murdered,, even if we have gone through it, we all act differently , you cannot possibly compare 2 sets of parents who have tragically lost their children , you just cannot.
And I think it is deplorable to judge parents on what their behaviour "should" be in these circumstances, there is no "right" way to grieve the loss of your child.

 

[BBB167893]

With respect Cynic this is a nonsense post.. no one knows how they would react if their child were murdered,, even if we have gone through it, we all act differently , you cannot possibly compare 2 sets of parents who have tragically lost their children , you just cannot.
And I think it is deplorable to judge parents on what their behaviour "should" be in these circumstances, there is no "right" way to grieve the loss of your child.

It's not JUST 2 sets, FairM. There are PLENTY of examples: the Van Dams, Marc Klaas, Erin Runnion, the Patz family, and on and on that are as different from the Rs as night is from day. Thus, a reasonable person could make the same conclusion that cynic has.

Besides, IDI seems to be a bit hypocritical on this subject. They'll slam RDI for comparing the Ramseys with what they'd do in a similar situation, but have NO problem doing the exact same thing in FAVOR of the Rs. Funny how that worked out, ain't it?

 

[Flatlander]

With respect Cynic this is a nonsense post.. no one knows how they would react if their child were murdered,, even if we have gone through it, we all act differently , you cannot possibly compare 2 sets of parents who have tragically lost their children , you just cannot.
And I think it is deplorable to judge parents on what their behaviour "should" be in these circumstances, there is no "right" way to grieve the loss of your child.

Well all else aside, according to Wikipedia this is a true statement:

Death of a child can take the form of a loss in infancy such as miscarriage or stillbirth or neonatal death, SIDS, or the death of an older child. In most cases, parents find the grief almost unbearably devastating, and it tends to hold greater risk factors than any other loss. This loss also bears a lifelong process: one does not get 'over' the death but instead must assimilate and live with it.

Intervention and comforting support can make all the difference to the survival of a parent in this type of grief but the risk factors are great and may include family breakup or suicide. Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss. Parents who suffer miscarriage or a regretful or coerced abortion may experience resentment towards others who experience successful pregnancies. Because of the intensity of grief emotions, irrational decisions are often made.

I would say the very last sentence only applies to the R's grief. Instead the R's chose to hide behind their money and continue to do so. MOO

 

[qtc]

Does anyone know of any other parents who acted as the R's did, whose child was murdered, and was definitely murdered by someone other than the parents?

I couldnt image not spending every waking moment trying to find the person responsible for taking my childs life. And doing everything possible to bring them to justice.

 

[UKGuy]

Does anyone know of any other parents who acted as the R's did, whose child was murdered, and was definitely murdered by someone other than the parents?

I couldnt image not spending every waking moment trying to find the person responsible for taking my childs life. And doing everything possible to bring them to justice.

qtc,
Just consider the parents of Etan Patz. Since he disappeared, his parents have been reluctant to move or even change their phone number in case their son tried to reach them.

.

 

[Agatha_C]

qtc,
Just consider the parents of Etan Patz. Since he disappeared, his parents have been reluctant to move or even change their phone number in case their son tried to reach them.

.

Because thats what non murdering parents do!!!!!!!

 

[DeeDee249]

Because thats what non murdering parents do!!!!!!!

You are so right. Yet, compare this to JB's parents. They tried to leave the STATE within moments of "finding" her body. They would have just left her, and never looked back. They left her poor, cold corpse under the CHRISTMAS TREE- where she waited for the coroner to come and pronounce her dead. They couldn't WAIT to get away from her. And according to them, they never even TALKED about her to their son. And in the words of her own father- the case is dead to him. Dead...like his daughter. Grieving parents do move on sometimes, but THESE parents moved on THAT DAY. BR too. He put her out of his mind as soon as she was out of his life.

 

[Unreals]

That's why this case is so compelling. The Ramseys' actions after JBR was found are so foreign to every parent that it's impossible not to suspect them for that alone. However, the coldness and the detachment they exhibited towards the dead JBR stands out in stark contrast to the way the living JBR was treated.

How did Patsy become so emotionally detached, instantly, from the daughter who'd evidently been the primary focus of her life? The one she doted on, spoiled and seemingly favored overtly over Burke- how was she willing to flee, without showing the least respect for her little body? Pets are accorded more respect than that. No matter how wacky she was, all evidence shows Patsy was a loving, very involved parent before that night.

It's obvious that someoneor a combination of someonesin that house caused JBR's death. There was no intruder. Patsy wrote the note, quite obviously. But what happened that night, to result in such a tragedy? A horrific head wound, combined with a garrote about the neck- there is no logical way to explain it. What monstrous parents would "stage" either a head wound or a strangulation or sexual abuse? None of it makes sense.

I feel that whatever happened, it didn't happen spontaneously. A huge clue here is the inexplicable lack of family photos that Christmas morning, and no videotaping of the kids opening presents. All parents would do that. Imho, something strange was brewing there well before Christmas.

 

[DeeDee249]

That's why this case is so compelling. The Ramseys' actions after JBR was found are so foreign to every parent that it's impossible not to suspect them for that alone. However, the coldness and the detachment they exhibited towards the dead JBR stands out in stark contrast to the way the living JBR was treated.

How did Patsy become so emotionally detached, instantly, from the daughter who'd evidently been the primary focus of her life? The one she doted on, spoiled and seemingly favored overtly over Burke- how was she willing to flee, without showing the least respect for her little body? Pets are accorded more respect than that. No matter how wacky she was, all evidence shows Patsy was a loving, very involved parent before that night.

It's obvious that someoneor a combination of someonesin that house caused JBR's death. There was no intruder. Patsy wrote the note, quite obviously. But what happened that night, to result in such a tragedy? A horrific head wound, combined with a garrote about the neck- there is no logical way to explain it. What monstrous parents would "stage" either a head wound or a strangulation or sexual abuse? None of it makes sense.

I feel that whatever happened, it didn't happen spontaneously. A huge clue here is the inexplicable lack of family photos that Christmas morning, and no videotaping of the kids opening presents. All parents would do that. Imho, something strange was brewing there well before Christmas.

We may never know exactly what happened in the house that awful night. You are right- Patsy did dote on JB, even if it took the form of pushing her ever harder to win those pageants. Is that really so different from the way Tiger Wood's dad pushed him? Or the Williams sisters were pushed? Probably not. Many parents live vicariously though the achievements of their kids.
But there was something more going on with JB. The sexualization of this beautiful little girl led to the sexual abuse. And that sexual abuse led to the events of that night. I simply can see no other way it could have happened. Even of the abuser was BR, even if he was the one who bashed her on the head...but it could have been anyone in the house that night. Even someone who was never proven to be there...like JAR and possibly a college friend.
I agree that the lack of photos and videos is suspicious. The excuses are just plain lame- dead batteries? No film? C'mon. Patsy was the kind of mother who planned Christmas morning for weeks.
You see, I feel the lack of Christmas morning videos and the paltry few photos are yet another indication that JAR (or another person) was in the house that morning. Add that theory to the almost immediate lawyering up of JAR's mother in Atlanta (to keep LE from pressing her to provide proof her son was with her that day) and I can virtually guarantee his presence in Boulder instead of Atlanta.

 

[sandover]

We may never know exactly what happened in the house that awful night. You are right- Patsy did dote on JB, even if it took the form of pushing her ever harder to win those pageants. Is that really so different from the way Tiger Wood's dad pushed him? Or the Williams sisters were pushed? Probably not. Many parents live vicariously though the achievements of their kids.
But there was something more going on with JB. The sexualization of this beautiful little girl led to the sexual abuse. And that sexual abuse led to the events of that night. I simply can see no other way it could have happened. Even of the abuser was BR, even if he was the one who bashed her on the head...but it could have been anyone in the house that night. Even someone who was never proven to be there...like JAR and possibly a college friend.
I agree that the lack of photos and videos is suspicious. The excuses are just plain lame- dead batteries? No film? C'mon. Patsy was the kind of mother who planned Christmas morning for weeks.
You see, I feel the lack of Christmas morning videos and the paltry few photos are yet another indication that JAR (or another person) was in the house that morning. Add that theory to the almost immediate lawyering up of JAR's mother in Atlanta (to keep LE from pressing her to provide proof her son was with her that day) and I can virtually guarantee his presence in Boulder instead of Atlanta.

JAR has a solid alibi.

The lack of film that morning is strange but hardly evidence of premeditation. That awful ransom note is evidence of no planning.

PR never loved JB; she used her. In life as in death.

 

[UKGuy]

We may never know exactly what happened in the house that awful night. You are right- Patsy did dote on JB, even if it took the form of pushing her ever harder to win those pageants. Is that really so different from the way Tiger Wood's dad pushed him? Or the Williams sisters were pushed? Probably not. Many parents live vicariously though the achievements of their kids.
But there was something more going on with JB. The sexualization of this beautiful little girl led to the sexual abuse. And that sexual abuse led to the events of that night. I simply can see no other way it could have happened. Even of the abuser was BR, even if he was the one who bashed her on the head...but it could have been anyone in the house that night. Even someone who was never proven to be there...like JAR and possibly a college friend.
I agree that the lack of photos and videos is suspicious. The excuses are just plain lame- dead batteries? No film? C'mon. Patsy was the kind of mother who planned Christmas morning for weeks.
You see, I feel the lack of Christmas morning videos and the paltry few photos are yet another indication that JAR (or another person) was in the house that morning. Add that theory to the almost immediate lawyering up of JAR's mother in Atlanta (to keep LE from pressing her to provide proof her son was with her that day) and I can virtually guarantee his presence in Boulder instead of Atlanta.

DeeDee249,
Patsy knew JonBenet had been molested the night she was killed. Why would she give JAR a pass?


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