IN - Aliahna Maroney Lemmon, 9, Fort Wayne, 23 Dec 2011 - #4

[Dee10]

The stats I read last are 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 7 boys are abused. If true these are terrible odds!

 

[SuziQ]

If I am not mistaken, it is a common MO is any type of domestic abuse, whether it be spousal, child, or domestic sexual abuse, to keep the victims isolated. Make sure they do not form bonds with schoolmates, neighbors.

If people get too close, they might begin to ask questions.

You just described my mom perfectly. People always thought she was overprotective. She was, but not for the reason they thought.

 

[octobermoon]

If I am not mistaken, it is a common MO is any type of domestic abuse, whether it be spousal, child, or domestic sexual abuse, to keep the victims isolated. Make sure they do not form bonds with schoolmates, neighbors.

If people get too close, they might begin to ask questions.

Kinda O/T but the ex of mine slowly started that with me. And I am too old for that crap. Couldn't talk to my friends because he didn't like them. Did I tell my mom this or that?.. Trivial in the beginning and more serious in the end. Run people run if your gut tells you to. I am happy to say he is long gone.

PS Even tho I was head over heals at the start- he never spent one minute baby sitting my grandson. Was never left alone with him.

 

[neese]

Is this the one? Even if not, I do like the tone of it.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11362/1199647-84-0.stm

But that's from Associated Press. I've read the same thing in just about every article where the local paper printed what A/P wrote. Am I right in thinking that it was not written by a pittsburgh reporter??? Just straight from A/P???

 

[FrayedKnot]

The stats I read last are 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 7 boys are abused. If true these are terrible odds!

Today, with this heavy on my mind, I had to go to Walmart.

I swear to you, every man (sorry, I know women are SO's, too) I saw had me wondering "What nasty secret is HE hiding?"

I knew it was wrong and I do not want to raise my daughter in a world where everyone is suspect and she has to be afraid.

On the other hand, it only takes once. One innocent "big boy" walk home from summer school all by himself, one sleepover at a BFFs house, one rushed morning that you drop them off at school but don't actually see them all the way into the building.

Once.

How do we parent? How can we raise our children to be brave and confident and loving and giving when the putrid mess that poses as humanity is out there, just waiting for a chance to hurt them?

Is there a balanced place? A place where we can still teach them life skills and encourage them to grow wings, and not effectively abandon them to evil? Right now it doesn't seem like it.

It seems then, that the solution is to clean up the mess rather than worry about our babies becoming mired in it. Otherwise, they rob us no matter what.

Sorry for the O/T. My heart is just so very heavy tonight.

 

[LydiaDeetz]

But that's from Associated Press. I've read the same thing in just about every article where the local paper printed what A/P wrote. Am I right in thinking that it was not written by a pittsburgh reporter??? Just straight from A/P???

Ah, you are correct. I didn't notice the AP byline, just saw that it was the only lengthy article about this case in the online version of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Perhaps there was a different article only published in the print edition.

I do like that this article points out which neighbors being interviewed are RSOs.

 

[Filly]

Did TS want to Butter up her dad so that she could get inheritance money?
Just an idea.
:waitasec:

How much loot could this guy have had?

 

[Filly]

Jumping in on this one,
http://www.herald-mail.com/news/hm-...-lived-in-hagerstown-20111229,0,2373850.story
Article says.
"Aliahna was a student at Winter Street school from January to June 2011, said Richard Wright, a spokesman for Washington County Public Schools."
This is a town, Hagerstown Maryland.

I lived about 100 yards from this school some years back, It is one of the worse "hoods" anyone can live in. It took us 18 months to sell our house at a very "low" selling price.
I cannot figure out why they lived there for 6 months. I have tried tracing all names but come up empty handed.Also, T worked in Chambersburg Penn. at the time and that is about a 30 mile drive one way from Hagerstown, perhaps she carpooled? I cant see her driving all that way to work at a rental store.
Im dying to know about this 6 month situation, this year :waitasec:

What's up with that?

Do you know where Orefield, PA is? I found TS coming up in an Orefield.

 

[tlcya]

If I am not mistaken, it is a common MO is any type of domestic abuse, whether it be spousal, child, or domestic sexual abuse, to keep the victims isolated. Make sure they do not form bonds with schoolmates, neighbors.

If people get too close, they might begin to ask questions.

I agree, this is common in abuse situations and pleae dont take my next comment as condoning the IMO aplorable decision making that placed these girls inthat trailer
But
Poverty is also a reason a large number of families move frequently. Many folks live a gypsy sort of life, moving ffom eviction to eviction.. it can take a landlord several months to get non payin tenants out. Many families living in poverty fall into this lifestyle

 

[missy_g]

Jumping in on this one,
http://www.herald-mail.com/news/hm-...-lived-in-hagerstown-20111229,0,2373850.story
Article says.
"Aliahna was a student at Winter Street school from January to June 2011, said Richard Wright, a spokesman for Washington County Public Schools."
This is a town, Hagerstown Maryland.

I lived about 100 yards from this school some years back, It is one of the worse "hoods" anyone can live in. It took us 18 months to sell our house at a very "low" selling price.
I cannot figure out why they lived there for 6 months. I have tried tracing all names but come up empty handed.Also, T worked in Chambersburg Penn. at the time and that is about a 30 mile drive one way from Hagerstown, perhaps she carpooled? I cant see her driving all that way to work at a rental store.
Im dying to know about this 6 month situation, this year :waitasec:

I live in this town now and I wouldn't exactly call it the worst "hood". It is very poor and there is A LOT of welfare. If this family lived in that area then, they were probably on welfare, or their income was very low that they couldn't afford better housing. Hagerstown isn't nearly as bad as lets say Baltimore or Detroit, it's just poor and run down (well this area anyway). The major crimes are drugs and there aren't too many violent crimes (well there have been a few lately). The poorer families usually live around the down town area while families with more money live further away from down town. I guess it's opposite compared to most cities.
Maybe she did drive? Chambersburg can offer better jobs/money.

Like I said in the other thread, if anyone has any questions about Hagerstown or the areas around it, let me know. You might have to PM me so it doesn't get lost in this thread.

 

[neese]

Wow, here's a chart that actually gives numbers and percentages by state regarding, neglect, sex abuse etc. You need a pdf viewer like adobe to be able to open it. I was shocked at Vermont's percentage of child sex abuse. For some reason Oregon is the only state I found that had nothing reported, as in, they don't have the stats for Oregon for some reason. Shocking to read when you scroll through. Shows child fatalities per state, abuse, mal-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect etc etc. You just have to keep scrolling and each page has a different topic of what type of abuse. Unbelievable.

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm10/cm10.pdf#page=61

 

[octobermoon]

Today, with this heavy on my mind, I had to go to Walmart.

I swear to you, every man (sorry, I know women are SO's, too) I saw had me wondering "What nasty secret is HE hiding?"

I knew it was wrong and I do not want to raise my daughter in a world where everyone is suspect and she has to be afraid.

On the other hand, it only takes once. One innocent "big boy" walk home from summer school all by himself, one sleepover at a BFFs house, one rushed morning that you drop them off at school but don't actually see them all the way into the building.

Once.

How do we parent? How can we raise our children to be brave and confident and loving and giving when the putrid mess that poses as humanity is out there, just waiting for a chance to hurt them?

Is there a balanced place? A place where we can still teach them life skills and encourage them to grow wings, and not effectively abandon them to evil? Right now it doesn't seem like it.

It seems then, that the solution is to clean up the mess rather than worry about our babies becoming mired in it. Otherwise, they rob us no matter what.

Sorry for the O/T. My heart is just so very heavy tonight.

As I said I am jaded. Give them wings when they are able to fly, but within the limits of their skills to protect themselves. Give them trusted adults and books and knowledge. We do let them fly when they are older.

We talk, talk, and talk till they are rolling their eyes at us. And talk till they know that they can tell.

Let them know they can tell and trust us enough to believe them.

But most of all parents must be responsible.

 

[OneLove]

I agree, this is common in abuse situations and pleae dont take my next comment as condoning the IMO aplorable decision making that placed these girls inthat trailer
But
Poverty is also a reason a large number of families move frequently. Many folks live a gypsy sort of life, moving ffom eviction to eviction.. it can take a landlord several months to get non payin tenants out. Many families living in poverty fall into this lifestyle

True. I lived in a state once that takes 6 months of legal procedures to get a nonpaying renter out. So if they pay one months rent and one months deposit and quit paying, they can usually get 9-10 months residence for only 2 months rent. Oftentimes a landlord would let a month or so go by trying to "work with" a renter before starting eviction process.

Tenant laws in Vermont are tough on owners also. Years ago my ex-husband knew someone who built a new house across the street and rented out their old house. They watched the renters take a chainsaw and cut the entire floor out of a bedroom and keep PIGS under the house in that room. They just opened the door to that bedroom to "slop the hogs" with leftover food garbage. It took SIX MONTHS to follow the process to get those people out of the house. I can't even begin to imagine.

 

[smittles]

They might live everywhere but that trailer park had them at a very high concentration compared to the rest of the state:
"In other words, three-fifths of the occupied units house a registered sex offender. That's an extraordinary concentration in Indiana, which has only 137 registered sex offenders per 100,000 population — the third-lowest ratio among all 50 states, according to data compiled by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children."
http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2...r-old-girls-killing-a-haven-for-sex-offenders

jjenny, trust me I know this trailer park well. I am from Fort Wayne and I wouldn't let my cat walk through there. I really wasn't trying to make any point, I was just saying that I had thought we were pretty safe but you just never know. I also realize that there are 15 rso's in this trailer park and 1 in my neighborhood (which is huge).

 

[simlyme]

I live in this town now and I wouldn't exactly call it the worst "hood". It is very poor and there is A LOT of welfare. If this family lived in that area then, they were probably on welfare, or their income was very low that they couldn't afford better housing. Hagerstown isn't nearly as bad as lets say Baltimore or Detroit, it's just poor and run down (well this area anyway). The major crimes are drugs and there aren't too many violent crimes (well there have been a few lately). The poorer families usually live around the down town area while families with more money live further away from down town. I guess it's opposite compared to most cities.
Maybe she did drive? Chambersburg can offer better jobs/money.

Like I said in the other thread, if anyone has any questions about Hagerstown or the areas around it, let me know. You might have to PM me so it doesn't get lost in this thread.

I totally agree with you about Hagerstown in general, BUT, we lived in the WEST end for 1 year, I have 20+ years in Hagerstown and my husband had 48 years there,(born and raised) no matter which way one looks at it ,the west end is the "hood". I LOVE hagerstown, I want to be back in Hagerstown, but FAR from the west end. No offense, but MHO

 

[Filly]

Today, with this heavy on my mind, I had to go to Walmart.

I swear to you, every man (sorry, I know women are SO's, too) I saw had me wondering "What nasty secret is HE hiding?"

I knew it was wrong and I do not want to raise my daughter in a world where everyone is suspect and she has to be afraid.

On the other hand, it only takes once. One innocent "big boy" walk home from summer school all by himself, one sleepover at a BFFs house, one rushed morning that you drop them off at school but don't actually see them all the way into the building.

Once.

How do we parent? How can we raise our children to be brave and confident and loving and giving when the putrid mess that poses as humanity is out there, just waiting for a chance to hurt them?

Is there a balanced place? A place where we can still teach them life skills and encourage them to grow wings, and not effectively abandon them to evil? Right now it doesn't seem like it.

It seems then, that the solution is to clean up the mess rather than worry about our babies becoming mired in it. Otherwise, they rob us no matter what.

Sorry for the O/T. My heart is just so very heavy tonight.

Excellent post.

First don't look at "crimes against children" because I posted about a Wal-Mart in MN where a guy groped a child within inches of her mom. They have it on video. Day after Christmas.

There does have to be a balance. I was raised up on "Better scared than dead" as my dad was a Detective. Still I was sexually assaulted at eight years old. Times are changing and we're empowering our kids. I wouldn't have told my mom a guy groped me in a Wal-Mart. Today that little girl told. Told right away. We need to educate the right way. Back in my day it was just fear of the unknown scarry man and not the creeper grandpop of our friends.

Like Octobermom I didn't trust anyone. My DD will tell you today I kept her in a bubble. I say "That was my job". It shouldn't have been. It also backfires as I didn't teach her skills to protect herself and in her early 20's now she has absolutely no fear. None. Not even after being robbed at gunpoint.

Empower your children with as much knowledge as they need. IMO as you go along. You're doing well.

Sorry for the O/T too. Sending love and light to fellow survivors, and prayers our kids can live in a safer world and know they are cherished.

 

[Dee10]

I live in this town now and I wouldn't exactly call it the worst "hood". It is very poor and there is A LOT of welfare. If this family lived in that area then, they were probably on welfare, or their income was very low that they couldn't afford better housing. Hagerstown isn't nearly as bad as lets say Baltimore or Detroit, it's just poor and run down (well this area anyway). The major crimes are drugs and there aren't too many violent crimes (well there have been a few lately). The poorer families usually live around the down town area while families with more money live further away from down town. I guess it's opposite compared to most cities.
Maybe she did drive? Chambersburg can offer better jobs/money.

Like I said in the other thread, if anyone has any questions about Hagerstown or the areas around it, let me know. You might have to PM me so it doesn't get lost in this thread.

I have only been to the mall there a couple times many moons ago though, spent weekends in W. Vir., & lived outside Balt. so I didn't see the area as bad...more WHY did they suddenly move THERE from of Iowa & although the school year ended they move to Indi. because of the father, but I am suspect right now to everything. I wonder if it was to avoid the abuse problem in Iowa, I would bet they have a friend or contact in Hagerstown. I have terrible thoughts of why they moved, where they moved, etc. I think it is going to be important to this case. I think it could be something teachers should be aware of new students, maybe to keep an extra eye on this pupil. I could certainly see how a family could fall under the radar of CPS unfortunately.

 

[neese]

Today, with this heavy on my mind, I had to go to Walmart.

I swear to you, every man (sorry, I know women are SO's, too) I saw had me wondering "What nasty secret is HE hiding?"

I knew it was wrong and I do not want to raise my daughter in a world where everyone is suspect and she has to be afraid.

On the other hand, it only takes once. One innocent "big boy" walk home from summer school all by himself, one sleepover at a BFFs house, one rushed morning that you drop them off at school but don't actually see them all the way into the building.

Once.

How do we parent? How can we raise our children to be brave and confident and loving and giving when the putrid mess that poses as humanity is out there, just waiting for a chance to hurt them?

Is there a balanced place? A place where we can still teach them life skills and encourage them to grow wings, and not effectively abandon them to evil? Right now it doesn't seem like it.

It seems then, that the solution is to clean up the mess rather than worry about our babies becoming mired in it. Otherwise, they rob us no matter what.

Sorry for the O/T. My heart is just so very heavy tonight.

Well I do worry about this a lot with the four year old boy I babysit at my home. When we are outside, I have told him we are going to play "stranger danger" so he will know exactly what to do if anyone he doesn't know ever comes up to him. I've told him that someone could come to the fence and say, "hey you're babysitter said for you to come with me" or someone could see him in a grocery store and say, "your mom said to come with me so she can buy you a surprise without you seeing the surprise" I have went over every possible scenario I can think of. I've even role played and played the stranger and told him to pretend he does not know me, and I'll go hide and then appear and say things a stranger would and he immediately runs inside the house. I never leave him outside alone, but if I do tell him, I'm going to be right here in the garage, he'll say, "and neese, I know, don't go with any strangers and yell and scream and throw myself on the ground if they try to pick me up" I've even taught him how to call 911 from a cell phone and told him never do it to play around with the phone. Others have gotten on me and said a four year old shouldn't be shown to call 911 or he may do it just for fun. Well, I'd rather he do it just for fun and learn not to, rather than be afraid to use it when he needed to. So far, he is still outgoing and friendly but he always has in the back of his little mind that anyone could be someone that wants to do something bad to him and he should always tell someone. And now that I've looked up the RSO's I just now find that one is living on the street behind me and I can view his house from my backyard. Now I'm extra glad I've been teaching the little one, "stranger danger." His gma and gpa have custody of him b/c his mother is in jail and they just blow everything off and think I'm being paranoid. They don't even lock their doors at night. FREAKS me out!!!

 

[Dee10]

Just remember, it is NOT AWALYS stranger-danger; it could be a scout-leader, daycare teacher, babysitter, uncle, family friend, the friendly neighbor...it is most OFTEN someone the child knows & they have to be taught that as well.

I was late to the bus stop & my son had accepted a ride from a friend of my husband. We read him the riot act...just because we know him...etc. He didn't really understand for a long time, but he never forgot it.

 

[missy_g]

I totally agree with you about Hagerstown in general, BUT, we lived in the WEST end for 1 year, I have 20+ years in Hagerstown and my husband had 48 years there,(born and raised) no matter which way one looks at it ,the west end is the "hood". I LOVE hagerstown, I want to be back in Hagerstown, but FAR from the west end. No offense, but MHO

I don't think you see my point exactly.

I know the West End. I have known many people in the West End.

What my point is, is it's not the "worst hood". Maybe in Hagerstown but in comparison to other "hoods" it's not that bad. I don't want people to think that where she lived in Hagerstown is like Baltimore City. You don't have to worry about drive bys and getting shot if you walk out of your house and wear the wrong colors. IMO there are WAY worse cities in the USA. I just don't want to give people the wrong idea about where she lived. It's poor and rundown YES but it's not like Detroit or areas of Washington DC.

I was born and raised here too.