I assume as with most family laws, statutes, etc that they vary from state to state. So, I can only say how it is here[just for point of reference I'm 2,320 miles away from Portland, OR
]...
So, this is what I know in the past 12 months(so this is current) a mother who has had primary custody of her two school aged children with the father having visitation rights and also paying a good chunk of money monthly to her each month for both children's support. The woman that had been babysitting these 2 children for the past 9 yrs(where after about the first 3 of those 9 yrs) The kids spent the night the majority of the time at the babysitters, so by the 9th year of this the woman who was "babysitting" them[tho the reality was she had been raising them absolutely full time for 5 solid years, yes the "mother" saw them several times a week as she'd come over after work and eat dinner there at the "babysitter's" house(of course babysitter providing the dinner)and then go home and the kids just stayed with "babysitter", as I said this was just completely "normal" for these 2 kids as they'd been living there full time for 5 yrs. All the while the "mother" continued receiving the child support check, the "mother" continued claiming the children every year on HER taxes, and the "mother" had quit paying "babysitting" bill many, many moons ago!
This outraged me! As I personally know very well this wonderful, caring woman who was the " babysitter", who in reality was the only "mother" these kids knew, they naturally over the years even began calling her "mama" and the bio-mom by her first name. This was at no prodding from anyone, the kids were in middle school by this point so they knew full well what was up and exactly who cared for them, met their needs, helped with homework, took them to dr appts, and went to parent meetings at school for them both..
Well, the dad got sick of paying these huge chunks of money to bio-mom who did not spend a dime on her children in any way at all. So, he took her back to court and subpoenaed the "babysitter" to prove that the children were not and had not been living with mom for many years.. He was furious when it all came out just how long these children had actually been living at "babysitters" and was not only gonna have these huge monthly support payments stopped but he wanted back pay of all the money he'd paid bio-mom when children lived full time with someone else..
WELL, EVERYONE who was involved in the whole court proceedings were absolutely shocked after the judge made his final ruling. The "babysitter" was awarded primary custody, with visitation to either bio-parent totally and completely at her discretion. Yes, the judge did stop the large checks that were going to bio-mom and yes he did award back pay to be paid from bio-mom for all of the years of payments when she did not even have the children living with her. But much to dads surprise that back pay was not awarded to him, nope, bio-mom had to immediately begin back pay of the moneys she received from the dad, she had to pay them to the "babysitter", along with also immediately begin paying a monthly child support for each child to the "babysitter". Dad didn't get to stop paying a monthly child support either, rather the only change would be that his check for support would immediately begin going to "babysitter"..
"babysitter" was in shock for a couple of months over this, it was never even her intention to try to get money out of them, certainly not back pay from the past 5 yrs. The only thing that woman had asked for was to be able to claim the kids every other year on taxes[AND YES SHE WAS AWARDED THIS TOO BY THE JUDGE] and for mom or dad to provide insurance for the kids.They had not done either, but when it finally went before a judge(and remember it still wasnt because she was taking them to court, rather it was selfish daddy subponeaing this woman so that he could get outta paying his ex all of that money)...
Thank God for the laws allowing for this here where we live. This woman more than deserved all of this and more. So, my point is here where I live yes, Terri would be having to pay a support for her child living with his dad. And she sure would not be able to continue receiving support for a child that she is not even raising and furthermore Kaine, too would be eligible to receiving a monthly support from Terri for baby K since he is providing primary custodial residence and parenting. It is only right that Terri be made to pay towards the support of her children..
I mean come on, if this were the other way around and a man, a dad were in Terri's exact position ppl would be raising he!! that the support payments had not begun yet.
So, I know if this were all taking place here in Tennessee then the above that I just stated would infact be the case and Terri would have already been in the process of having to provide support and if it was her same ol excuse of can't find a job, nobody will hire me, well, the courts take care of that, too. You've got a limited amount of time for you To get that butt in gear and get yourself hired SOMEWHERE that provides income so that an appropriate amount be determined and it can be distributed as child support to each of her children.. If ya don't the contempt charges will ensue and around here you DO go to jail for failing to comply with child support and family court rulings...
I can only pray that the system works atleast similar to this up there in Portland , as I feel man or woman no matter, when you have children you must be accountable for providing for them in some way. These children atleast deserve monetary support since she feels for whatever reason she can no longer physically and emotionally
provide support.(IMO she very well could and would have supervised visitation with baby K, no doubt in my mind. She is not choosing to do this so at the very least she should be contributing to them with monetary support)
And I KNOW FOR CERTAIN SHE SHOULD NOT BE RECEIVING ONE, RED CENT OF CHILD SUPPORT FOR A SON THAT HAS NOT LIVED WITH HER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR.
