MO - Megan Reppond, 14, shot to death at Neosho slumber party, 27 Dec 2010

[redheadedgal]

is it wrong to wonder what the conversation/reaction in the room was after the gun was picked up but before the shooting? did the teens think it was funny she pointed the gun at their friend? were they horrified? did the teen who lived in the house -or anyone else- shout "put that down NOW!!"

i realize knowing these answers won't change the situation but it would tell us more about how these teens felt about guns/this situation...

 

[OneLove]

I've had teens here a lot, and even my DD11 has friends over frequently. While I do not trust them to make adult decisions, we do have rules about where they are not invited. I've never had a problem with them going into my bedroom or sewing area, office, etc. where I have extremely sharp scissors and rotary cutters, needles, and more. I've never had a kid touch or mess with something that isn't theirs, with the one exception being my older son's drum set. (It's in the room where they all hang out, is incredibly tempting, and they've never harmed it. They just want to try it. If it were a problem, we'd have to come up with a way to move it or move them.Right now it just annoys my older son.)

My understanding is that this girl broke a lot of rules in the house and obviously didn't have the manners to respect other people's boundaries or things. She went into a room where they were not supposed to be, she took a gun from a holster, pointed it at someone, and pulled the trigger. There were so many points on this horrific path where she could have made a different choice!

When you consider that this girl will be legally allowed to drive a car in less than a year, it really puts things in perspective. How can we allow someone to take control of a motor vehicle that kills way more people annually than guns, but not trust her not to point a gun at someone and pull the trigger?

Yes, I think guns should be locked up and ours are all unloaded and in a safe, but the gun owner is not the only person who bears the weight of this tragedy.

While I do think the owner should have had his gun locked, I agree about the girl's lack of appropriate behavior and defiance. For this one and only reason, we had to cut our relationship with dear friends who have a 14 year old extremely defiant son. He is dangerous and we don't even want him remembering how to find his way back to our house. EVER again. Unfortunately, the parents are as enabling as they come. And they both have practices counseling others on family dynamics. Scary stuff.

I wonder if the parents of the 14 year old in this case feel ANY responsibility for their child reaching this age with no respect for appropriate boundaries, now that it has cost a life.

 

[Nova]

While I do think the owner should have had his gun locked, I agree about the girl's lack of appropriate behavior and defiance. For this one and only reason, we had to cut our relationship with dear friends who have a 14 year old extremely defiant son. He is dangerous and we don't even want him remembering how to find his way back to our house. EVER again. Unfortunately, the parents are as enabling as they come. And they both have practices counseling others on family dynamics. Scary stuff.

I wonder if the parents of the 14 year old in this case feel ANY responsibility for their child reaching this age with no respect for appropriate boundaries, now that it has cost a life.

I'd be surprised if the parents of the dead girl don't reproach themselves every day of their lives. Even assuming they had taught her gun safety rules, they'd have to think, "If only I'd said such-and-such on the day of the party, or the day before, or..."

 

[Nova]

is it wrong to wonder what the conversation/reaction in the room was after the gun was picked up but before the shooting? did the teens think it was funny she pointed the gun at their friend? were they horrified? did the teen who lived in the house -or anyone else- shout "put that down NOW!!"

i realize knowing these answers won't change the situation but it would tell us more about how these teens felt about guns/this situation...

No, red, I don't think it's wrong. I have to wonder "what the hell were they all thinking?" (Nonetheless, I still hold the adult gun owner primarily responsible.)

 

[angelmom]

I'd be surprised if the parents of the dead girl don't reproach themselves every day of their lives. Even assuming they had taught her gun safety rules, they'd have to think, "If only I'd said such-and-such on the day of the party, or the day before, or..."

I agree. Part of the grieving process is blame and negotiation. Even those who are truly and 100% blameless often feel that "if only" they had done one thing different that day, the outcome would have been avoided.

The fact that the parents had any influence over the events - and by this I don't mean blame but some control over little things like whether or not she was allowed to go over there, what time she arrived, etc. - must haunt them.

Everyone involved in this situation has my prayers. Regardless of where you place the most blame, I don't think anyone involved had any malice in their hearts. This is a horrible thing to have to live with, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

[OneLove]

I'd be surprised if the parents of the dead girl don't reproach themselves every day of their lives. Even assuming they had taught her gun safety rules, they'd have to think, "If only I'd said such-and-such on the day of the party, or the day before, or..."

Yes, so sad, such a terrible terrible tragedy to have to live with.

I am wondering about the parents of the "trigger" girl and what their attitude is. Are they defiant also as this girl is described being? Do they feel any responsibility that their daughter so disrespected rules and boundaries that she caused a death?

 

[doubt]

is it wrong to wonder what the conversation/reaction in the room was after the gun was picked up but before the shooting? did the teens think it was funny she pointed the gun at their friend? were they horrified? did the teen who lived in the house -or anyone else- shout "put that down NOW!!"

i realize knowing these answers won't change the situation but it would tell us more about how these teens felt about guns/this situation...

true that the answers can't change what happened but i, too, would be interested in hearing them.

 

[gxm]

I grew up in the tropics. At 14, I'd heard of frost-bite, but I certainly was in no position to fend for myself in the snow.

The point is there's no excuse for leaving a gun laying around, IMHO.

Also, I'm left wondering if this was the sort of gun that didn't have a safety mechanism. If one is going to leave a gun out, where anyone can see and/or pick it up, the very least one should do is turn the safety on. And if the gun doesn't have a safety mechanism, it should never be left lying about, loaded and in plain sight of children, teens, or adults. Holstered or not.

 

[gxm]

I am not a gun enthusiast. The only gun I own is a family heirloom (an early 20th century Long Tom that is of sentimental value only). So my gun smarts may be lacking. But one of the first things my father taught me about guns was this rule number one: NEVER point a gun at a person unless you intend on shooting them. It's a simple rule. And, if followed, could have prevented many of the accidental gun deaths I too often read about.

 

[katydid23]

I hold the gun owner 90% responsible for this tragedy. It should NOT have been loaded and sitting out like that. But I also hold the 14 yr old shooter partially responsible. She is not 4 years old. She is 14, and old enough to understand what happens when you aim a weapon at somebody. That was a very unfortunate decision on her part. I know that kids are impulsive. But still, that was a very dumb move and i know it will linger with her for most of her life. I feel badly about that but I hope it curbs her impulsivity.

 

[Nova]

Yes, so sad, such a terrible terrible tragedy to have to live with.

I am wondering about the parents of the "trigger" girl and what their attitude is. Are they defiant also as this girl is described being? Do they feel any responsibility that their daughter so disrespected rules and boundaries that she caused a death?

I'm sorry, OneLove. You were clearly talking about the parents of the "trigger" girl in the first place and I misread your post.

I don't know what their attitude is, but if I were they, I'd feel very much responsible that I didn't teach my daughter better respect for guns. (Of course, if there is a lawsuit in progress, the parents may feel very bad, but be under orders from their lawyer not to make statements.)

 

[wfgodot]

Mother of deceased teen turns grief into book for others (Joplin Globe)

JOPLIN, Mo. — A quote by Martin Luther King is a particular favorite of Ginger Reppond.

“As my sufferings mounted, I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
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In addition to the King quote, there’s a line in an Anthony Hopkins movie that Ginger Reppond also likes to use a lot: “What one man can do, another can do.”

“As a Christian, it is the same,” she said. “What one believer can do, another can do. If the Lord will pour out his grace, power and strength to one, he will do it to another.”
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the rest at link above