GUILTY PA - Jarrod Tutko, 9, disabled, starved to death, Harrisburg, 29 July 2014

[chaotic_idealism]

Edit to add link to video:
Father charged in suspicious death of his child
The mother doesn't have her face on camera (I don't blame her), but I noticed she was wearing a wrist brace. I wonder how she hurt her wrist.

when I was talking about horrible I was speaking to the life these folks appear to have been living. The room, the boy isolated on third floor, the father solely responsible for this child per the mother. the motehr claiming it was not uncommon for her not to lay eyes on her son. The whole of it is horrible to me.

Okay, fair enough; I can agree with you on that. Having to live alone, hardly ever seeing anyone but a father who cares so little that he doesn't bother to inform his family when the boy has died--I can describe that as "horrible".

One thing I noticed was that photo of another girl's bedroom, a neat little space with decorations and a bed with blankets on it, meaning that at least one child had the material comforts that her brother didn't get. This happens sometimes in abuse cases, where one child gets targeted for everything and the other children are relatively safe (though their life isn't a picnic either--physically safe, they still live in fear and guilt, and are vulnerable to emotional problems later on just like the targeted child is). When the targeted child has a disability, the disability often gets much worse because they aren't getting therapy for it, and because the abuse makes it even harder for them to cope than it normally would be. Even a typical child, when abused, may regress, losing language or potty training or acting much younger. A disabled child who holds on to those advanced skills much more tenuously will lose them much sooner and much more dramatically. It's cruelly ironic that disabled children, who suffer more from abuse than typical children, are also abused more often.

The environment Jarrod Jr. was living in, and his social isolation, says "emotional abuse and neglect" to me. The absolute most charitable explanation I can think of is that the father, guilty over having mistreated his son, thought that he had caused what was actually a natural death and hid the body until it was no longer feasible to do so. But more likely, the child died due to neglect, abuse, or a combination of both.

 

[craftybatchy]

In the interview, the mother tells the reporter that 'I haven't been up here in years'. Negligence . No other words for that. Excuse, explain, justify or whatever. It's still negligence.

All of of the children reportedly had some degree of disability. No mention has been made of adoption, so I assume that these children are biologically related to one or both of their children. Why would they continue having children if there was an already established pattern of genetic abnormalities ? Money from the state ?

 

[momrids6]

I don't know their reasons, and I don't particularly care. I am a parent of a now adult child with a disability. I have been a foster parent, and have neurotypical children also. I have 2 extras that basically live here. There is no shame is admitting you are in over your head- with any child, or children, and you need help- from the state, a charity, family, or friends. The shame is, not enough people will ask nor admit they cannot do it alone; and a child suffers or dies needlessly.

I would not let a wild animal live in that room- no excuses cut it imo.

 

[tlcya]

8 year old but the only picture they had of Jarrod was as an infant. That is so sad and telling to me

 

[tlcya]

the photos at this link are hurtful. It appears they simply stuck their son in this room and left him there to his own devices

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/boy_found_dead_in_harrisburg_home.html

 

[Linda7NJ]

I am Completely and totally out of my league.

I read up thread that this child refused to wear a diaper.

I have no idea how to even begin to go about caring for a child that smeared feces at every bowel movement.

Seems just cleaning and disinfecting would be a full time job.

I will never understand. Try as I might.

 

[chaotic_idealism]

AFAIK, a kid with that problem in a typical family would be supervised by an adult or an aide, and when he had an accident they'd clean it up. Therapy would include sensory integration to help him learn to tolerate clothing, and learn to notify people when his diaper was wet so that he would get it changed properly instead of taking it off and making a mess. He would learn to play with Play-doh instead of poop, and use a system like picture cards (PECS) to tell an adult if he needed help. That's the general idea for a kid with ID and autism and potty training delays.

But I don't think they made any attempt to help him; or anyway they stopped long ago. They just put him in that room and tried to ignore him. If they had tried to help--if they had so much as let him go to school--that boy would have been doing a lot better, probably wearing a diaper, maybe even learning to use a toilet. At the very least they would have had help keeping him clean, instead of forcing him to live in that filthy, disease-inducing environment, with nothing to play with.

Does anybody else remember Dani, the "feral child"? She was kept in conditions almost exactly like this, alone in a filthy room. She's alive and doing well after she was rescued. Makes me wonder if this boy would've been another such case if he had lived.

Here's the only picture we have of Jarrod:

Notice the little guy is holding his own bottle, wearing clothes, generally clean and well cared for. But since that baby picture, there's been nothing. Something must have gone horribly wrong in that family.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I don't think they made any attempt to help him. They just put him in that room and tried to ignore him. If they had tried to help--if they had so much as let him go to school--that boy would have been doing a lot better, probably wearing a diaper, maybe even learning to use a toilet. At the very least they would have had help keeping him clean, instead of forcing him to live in that filthy, disease-inducing environment.

Does anybody else remember Dani, the "feral child"? She was kept in conditions almost exactly like this, alone in a filthy room. She's alive and doing well after she was rescued. Makes me wonder if this boy would've been another such case if he had lived.

I am sitting here wondering how many other children are being kept the same way? How many parents are over their heads caring for special needs children? Does it happen slowly and over time as the child grows? How does a family even go about getting services? I wonder if it's easy or a huge time suck that frazzled overwhelmed parents simply don't have the time ?



At first, I wondered if these parents were low functioning, but given their daughters condition and obvious care, her caretaker was not stupid.

I have a neighbor whose child has some sort of severe special needs. Every day, year round ( except weekends ) a little school bus picks him up at the door and brings him home after a full day. I also know they have some sort of para professional that comes regularly.
I don't know if insurance pays for all of that, the school district, Medicade? Social security disability or if it's self pay?

 

[chaotic_idealism]

I have a neighbor whose child has some sort of severe special needs. Every day, year round ( except weekends ) a little school bus picks him up at the door and brings him home after a full day. I also know they have some sort of para professional that comes regularly.
I don't know if insurance pays for all of that, the school district, Medicade? Social security disability or if it's self pay?

It can be any of those, depending on your income level. Usually it starts with the primary care doctor, when the child is diagnosed; they'll refer to therapists, and probably early childhood intervention programs (like pre-school, but with OT, PT, and ST for the child). Then when the child gets into school they'll have an IEP, which will detail their particular challenges and what adaptations need to be made for the child to learn in school. A child with a disability and low- to middle-income parents will usually get medical care subsidized, including home health care and respite care. But it's not perfect by any means; parents have to be quite persistent to get round-the-clock care for a disabled child, and aides, especially PAs, are often underpaid and undertrained.

By law, every child with a disability, no matter how severe, has to be given a "free and appropriate education in the least restrictive environment possible"--that is, the school has to take the child, and the child has to be taught what he can learn, and be integrated as much as possible with his peers. Sometimes when a child absolutely cannot go to school--a medically fragile child, or one with behavior problems--that "appropriate education" can mean being tutored at home, going to a segregated special-needs school, or even going to residential care. All of these are legally required to be available to disabled children who need them. So your neighbor's special school bus would be free and automatically available, just like public school is available to typical children.

For the most part, when people talk about lack of services, it's aide hours they're talking about--they can get someone an hour a day, but they need a night nurse every night; or they can get an hour of therapy a week, but their child needs an hour a day. There's often not enough to go around, and parents have to be persistent. But these parents seem to have rejected even the services that were required by law to be available to the child.

 

[Linda7NJ]

It can be any of those, depending on your income level. Usually it starts with the primary care doctor, when the child is diagnosed; they'll refer to therapists, and probably early childhood intervention programs (like pre-school, but with OT, PT, and ST for the child). Then when the child gets into school they'll have an IEP, which will detail their particular challenges and what adaptations need to be made for the child to learn in school. A child with a disability and low- to middle-income parents will usually get medical care subsidized, including home health care and respite care. But it's not perfect by any means; parents have to be quite persistent to get round-the-clock care for a disabled child, and aides, especially PAs, are often underpaid and undertrained.

By law, every child with a disability, no matter how severe, has to be given a "free and appropriate education in the least restrictive environment possible"--that is, the school has to take the child, and the child has to be taught what he can learn, and be integrated as much as possible with his peers. Sometimes when a child absolutely cannot go to school--a medically fragile child, or one with behavior problems--that "appropriate education" can mean being tutored at home, going to a segregated special-needs school, or even going to residential care. All of these are legally required to be available to disabled children who need them. So your neighbor's special school bus would be free and automatically available, just like public school is available to typical children.

For the most part, when people talk about lack of services, it's aide hours they're talking about--they can get someone an hour a day, but they need a night nurse every night; or they can get an hour of therapy a week, but their child needs an hour a day. There's often not enough to go around, and parents have to be persistent. But these parents seem to have rejected even the services that were required by law to be available to the child.

Thank you. That makes a lot of sense.

I'm just trying to imagine ... He was probably very easy to care for when he was young, as he got older it became more difficult. Surely, they had some form of help with the daughter? Right? Doctors ? Supplies?

Wouldn't it actually be easier to get help for him if it is true they had help with the little girl?

I just can't understand how this went on for so long unnoticed. Even by them.

 

[tlcya]

harkens back to the days when peoole would put children with disabilities or mental illness into the cellar or attic and that was their life. Locked away, too much trouble and embarrassment to see the light of day.

This case is just so troubling because there ARE resources and we now know so much more about how to treat and help children born with special needs. This case just feels barbaric. I look forward to learning more about this one.

 

[chaotic_idealism]

I'm just trying to imagine ... He was probably very easy to care for when he was young, as he got older it became more difficult. Surely, they had some form of help with the daughter? Right? Doctors ? Supplies?

Wouldn't it actually be easier to get help for him if it is true they had help with the little girl?

I just can't understand how this went on for so long unnoticed. Even by them.

Yes, they would have needed supplies and assistance caring for the girl. She probably can't swallow safely, which means they had to have known how to maintain a feeding tube for her and have had access to the supplies, and they would have had to maintain diapers or a catheter or similar arrangement for her.

I'd say that they probably did have the ability to get help for Jarrod. If they can care for his severely disabled sister, successfully, then yes, they had the skills to care for Jarrod either by doing it themselves or by finding assistance that would allow Jarrod to get the help he needed. Apparently he was both physically and mentally disabled, but he seems to have been mobile enough to "paint" the walls of his room (poor kid, probably the only entertainment he had), and to remove his own clothing. A lower level of care than his sister needed, but probably more supervision, because if a kid is mobile he can get himself into trouble in two seconds, whereas a kid in a bed just needs to be moved around to prevent pressure sores.

But the other disabled kids do figure into it. Say that Mom is busy caring for her children--they take up a lot of time and she loves them so she gives that time. Jarrod grows older and he doesn't learn how to use the potty and he has sensory problems that cause him a lot of distress. Finally Dad says, Hey, I'll take the boy; I'll put him in this upstairs room so he won't bother you while you're dealing with the other kids' needs. And things gradually get worse from there. My guess is that the mother focused on her other children, knowing she could not care for all of them and for Jarrod all at once, and trusted her husband too much--that things got worse for the little boy so gradually that she became used to it, and learned to avoid the upstairs room. It's like some kind of slow-motion Sophie's choice... my instinct here is not to blame the mother very much if at all, because of how easy it would have been for him to intimidate and isolate her, holding the welfare of her other children over her head.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I've also spoke with any people that believe if they ask for help, the government will take away their children.

 

[BatWoman]

I'm stuck on the mother not seeing Jarrod Jr for long periods. I get that she was totally overwhelmed but not to at least check on him at least once a day?

It's obvious that with the different diagnoses the children must have seen doctors. How could the doctors not know what they were dealing with and refer them to at least a social worker for assistance?

 

[momrids6]

I am Completely and totally out of my league.

I read up thread that this child refused to wear a diaper.

I have no idea how to even begin to go about caring for a child that smeared feces at every bowel movement.

Seems just cleaning and disinfecting would be a full time job.

I will never understand. Try as I might.

I doubt it. I believe you would have handled this like you handle everything else life throws at you and managed just fine.

I seemed to have forgotten my point in my earlier post. We have, and have had many types of kids to raise. We have gotten help from almost every group I mentioned earlier, and have given help to some struggling parents. You do what you have to do to make life as decent as possible for all of your kids, including someone else's.

 

[OkieGranny]

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/kimberly_totku_jarrod_totku.html

Neighbors describe the family in the home, the Tutkos, as a peculiar family: A mother seldom seen, save for the few times a month she boards a cab and sets off to Wal-Mart, returning with the family's grocery shopping; a father, who while seemingly involved with his children, was prone to violent – profanity ladened – outbursts, his massive hands startling the neighborhood kids when they landed across the back of his son's head...

Every now and then they would see two of the Tutko girls, M, 3, and the oldest, D, 13, who was deaf, out on the porch. Most of the time, it was A Tutko, 12, who, like all kids his age, loved to play outside, was the ambassador of the family. A, neighbors said, was that kid, so skinny that his ribs poked through his chest. He could be helpful, and at times, neighbors rewarded him with a popsicle for helping them cart groceries. The kids here say he seldom went home when his father called for him at night, and that a few months ago he tried to run away.

Accustomed to taking to their front porches to smoke cigarettes or watch the kids play on the street, most neighbors assumed A lived with his parents – Kimberly and Jarrod Tutko Sr. – and his two sisters. They had no idea that there were three other children living in the house.

 

[Tulessa]

the photos at this link are hurtful. It appears they simply stuck their son in this room and left him there to his own devices

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/boy_found_dead_in_harrisburg_home.html

Per your link.

He was always so sad. ... He'd be on his bike because he didn't want to be in the house because of his father," she said.

She said she once saw him hit A<mod snip> in such a way it troubled her.
"He whacked him real good upside his head," Knight said.
ETA, this is not referring to the deceased child.

 

[Linda7NJ]

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/kimberly_totku_jarrod_totku.html

That's is absolutely heartbreaking.

From the link
Kimberly Tutko on Sunday said she had not seen little Jarrod since 2010, when she decided it was best for her to avoid contact with him and any potential bacteria that could spell a lethal sentence to Arianna, who was kept alive by several tubes, one of them inserted into an opening in her abdomen.

 

[tlcya]

The other story is that of a mysterious family, its home often marred with yelling and fighting. Mom could be seen throwing meat out the door, the children screaming, driving one neighbor to suspect abuse, and an enigma of a father, who while he accompanied his children to doctor's appointments and school, could betray all gentleness with violent and troubling outbursts toward A.

SNIP

"They were a fighting family," K said. "She didn't want to be bothered with him and he didn't want to bothered with her."

A had several friends up and down the street, and one of them was MB, the 15-year-old niece of AK.
A seldom wanted to go home, she remembers. He was often out playing by himself when other kids were in their homes, she said.


"Some days his dad be calling him home and it looked like he didn't want to go home," M said.


Though just at the cusp of young adulthood, M grasps the idea that there's something wrong with the fact that she had no idea her friend had a brother and four sisters &#8211; nor a mother.


"I never seen her," she said. "I never heard of mom. I always thought she was in a mental hospital."

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/08/kimberly_totku_jarrod_totku.html

 

[chaotic_idealism]

That's is absolutely heartbreaking.

From the link
Kimberly Tutko on Sunday said she had not seen little Jarrod since 2010, when she decided it was best for her to avoid contact with him and any potential bacteria that could spell a lethal sentence to Arianna, who was kept alive by several tubes, one of them inserted into an opening in her abdomen.

Think how easy it would have been for the father to keep his wife away from Jarrod Jr., with that argument... "If you go up there, your daughter will die."

What little nursing help they were able to get over the years did not work out and the nurses were dismissed. "We were doing this on our own," Kimberly Tutko said.

So they had help, but rejected it.

[Older sister], 13, is deaf, a condition she developed after a severe bout with the flu. [Older brother], 12, has developmental disabilities; [younger sister], 6, has autism; [younger sister], 3, appears to be a healthy child. And then there was Jarrod, who at 11 months, failing to grow, was diagnosed with Fragile X syndrome...

Here's an explanation as to why they were still having kids after Jarrod was diagnosed with Fragile X.
Kid 1 is deaf, but it was caused by influenza; that's not genetic.

Kid 2 has developmental disabilities, but they're mild--to the point that he spends most of his time outside the house, essentially taking care of himself.

They have no reason to expect Jarrod, Kid 3, has Fragile X, but most likely Mom's premutation is low-level, say maybe 70 CGG repeats, making the risk of having another Fragile X child relatively low, (implied because one out of six children actually had Fragile X).

His three younger siblings are all sisters; girls either become asymptomatic carriers or get a mild version of Fragile X, so having girls is safer.

His 10-year-old sister's severe disability is also acquired, from a febrile seizure she had when she was very young.

The 6-year-old has autism, which would have been diagnosed at around age 3, when the youngest child, age 3 now, was either already born or already on the way.

So... six kids, five disabled, but only one of the two born before Jarrod had a mild, heritable developmental delay. Under those circumstances, getting pregnant again wouldn't seem to be particularly problematic; and, in any case, having a child despite the risk of Fragile X is a personal decision. The bigger problem I see here is, why did they have so many children when their existing children needed so much care and they were only barely coping, if that? If you don't have enough time for the children you have, why in the world would you have more? I'd buy "the condom broke" for one more kid, but that many, no... I don't think these people were thinking about whether their children would have what they needed.

I know some families who really do have that many disabled children, often adopted, and care for them successfully--but the one factor that they all have in common is that they are deeply involved in their communities. Everyone knows them. The children are out and about. Aides and nurses go in and out of the house. Money is sometimes tight, but the children get what they need. That's the way it ought to be done--not this isolated child-hoarding.