PTSD sufferers - please post here

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Thanks to each poster who shared in this thread, whether suffering w/PTSD or not.

I am amazed reading the stories here! So many are suffering similar things as I. I didn't even know what PTSD was until about 2 months ago when diagnosed by 2 different docs. I was in bad head on car accident, my best friend died. Since then I don't leave the house, haven't driven, sounds of sirens drive me nuts, petrified in car to point of involuntary screaming/jumping/feet up on dash, when another car starts to pull out or gets to close. It's embarrassing and horrible feelings of fear.

I don't remember all of the accident. I remember, in this order, flashes of getting in the car, the sound of crash, the smell of all the fluids, seeing my friend in a flash second, being outside the car, the roof and sound of the helicopter, hollering for my husband in the OR. That is the totality of what I remember of the entire wreck. I found out in the hospital my friend was DOS. I had no head injury.

I want to learn more about this and hope that I can be fixed. :)
 
I also suffer from PTSD. My little boy was taken away from me after a bitter custody battle, in which his father fabricated a bunch of lies in order to keep my son for himself and his wife to raise. The judge refused to even look at any of my documented evidence from professionals that proved his father's falsehoods.

Later that night, my son was snatched out of my arms and handed over to his father, and they drove away with my son sobbing in the back seat of his car. He was taken to their house to live, 2 states away, and I very seldom ever got to see him or hear from him. That was 20 years ago.

Afterwards, I was hospitalized for 3 months for major clinical depression and they performed 6 ECT treatments on me to try to help me forget. I never did, and I never got over it.

To this day, 20 years later, I still tremble at the mention of my son's father's name, or the sound of his voice.
 
ella971 said:
Sha, Flasbacks all the time in most cases it's not until after I realize why I reacted to whatever it was that happened. Same thing with nightmares. I'm very sensitive to noise and bright lights. I just moved into a condo and had to disconnect the doorbell because someone rang it and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Besides the terror that we feel I think the hardest part for me is to explain to whatever person I'm with why I don't want to do something or I can't do something. Like I said before not being able to take the Celexa it's brought me straight back to that horrible feeling and what helps me is to catch the panic before it gets me. Deep breathing, praying, distraction is always the way if I can get myself to motivate. I know your pain.
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For me it's when the telephone rings. Needless to say I rarely answer it. My family and friends have finally given up trying to call me. I feel bad about it, and I've tried everything from medicine to behavior modification to psychoanalysis, even, but it is so hard to calm down. Well, you know what I mean.
 
Ltmamasan said:
I also suffer from PTSD. My little boy was taken away from me after a bitter custody battle, in which his father fabricated a bunch of lies in order to keep my son for himself and his wife to raise. The judge refused to even look at any of my documented evidence from professionals that proved his father's falsehoods.

Later that night, my son was snatched out of my arms and handed over to his father, and they drove away with my son sobbing in the back seat of his car. He was taken to their house to live, 2 states away, and I very seldom ever got to see him or hear from him. That was 20 years ago.

Afterwards, I was hospitalized for 3 months for major clinical depression and they performed 6 ECT treatments on me to try to help me forget. I never did, and I never got over it.

To this day, 20 years later, I still tremble at the mention of my son's father's name, or the sound of his voice.
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So sorry to hear what you've been through. The loss of a child is a special anguish few can comprehend.
 
AlwaysShocked said:
Several posters have indicated in various threads that they have suffered from PTSD or are closed to someone who does. I also suffered from it at one point in my life. Would like to gather in one thread the experiences of others.

My own: After a traumatic event - automobile accident. Symptoms were anxiety attacks, insomnia, generalized nervousness, tearfulness, horrible nightmares when I did sleep. I did not, repeat NOT have memory loss for the traumatic event. If anything, I remembered what had happened all too well.
It kept "replaying" in my head.

I was also in pain from physcial injuries sustained during accident for almost 3months. Was treated by family doctor for about 3 weeks after I was discharged from the hospital, then referred to a psychiatrist who specialized in PTSD treatment. Saw him for almost a year. Medication was Xanax, with doses decreased over time. And thanks to good treatment, I did get over it.

Years later I was in a relationship with a man who had PTSD as a result of combat in Vietnam. He had never been treated. He also did not have loss of memory for event(s) that caused it.

I am curious if others who have suffered PTSD have suffered loss of memory for the actual event that caused it?
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BBM.

Same with me. Mine is too personal to go into any detail, But the murder of my brother and his wife only compounded my situation. Two years of therapy, support from WS and I still suffer from it. Jodi CANNOT use this as an excuse. No memory loss for me, even though I wish at times I could forget as mine was very traumatic. :( I am on Remeron and Paxil . Life is good.
 
I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but have issues from severe childhood abuse and trauma. Over the years, I have gone back and forth to therapist/counselors as I work through incidents. I can only work through things a little at a time as the nightmares and symptoms begin to haunt me daily. In order to avoid having the situation take over my life, I have to be kind to myself and remember that its ok to do that. If I were to be in the place I was in 1989 today, I would most likely be diagnosed as PTSD.

There are events that I can not remember that my sisters/brothers do. Oddly enough I have worked through a lot of the abuse my siblings sufferred that I was a witness to, but my personal abuse has been a lot harder to deal with. I suffered from self esteem and self worth issues, guilt, blame. In the last few years my sister closest to me has finally reached out for help and is inthe stage where she wants to discuss things with me. Her problems stem from my abuse and her witnessing those things. As the oldest and only stepchild I had a little harder time. It took YEARS for me not to want to go near a closet. My parents punished us not only physically but emotionally and thru religion. There would be months we were made to stay in our closet anytime we were not in school. We slept, ate and lived there. We were not allowed to take things down from the closet or move shoes. Our parents would make spot checks at all hours of the day and nght and would physically punish us. Initially there was fear of that punishment but as time went on we learned to appreciate that was the only punishment. We learned to cope. It was the lesser of two evils.

I do not believe JA has any of these issues. My siblings and I can remember times getting on the bus, KNOWING, that there was trouble to be had that day. We had a hyper sense of that. And it was always right. Things other people considered abuse, we considered normal. Our home was shameful and full of secrets. It went into our adult lives and we all suffer from EXTREME boundaries. Not loose ones.

I know that not all people suffer in the same way, or have the same symptoms but even here, in this thread you can see the similarities shared. For all of you who suffer, please know that time may not heal the wounds, but it does make them less. I know my limits now to not have daily nightmares. I understand the types of relationships I have tendency to find and allow to continue. All of these things, thru therapy, have decreased so many of the symptoms and made my life so much easier. I do not currently take meds, but have in the past. I have vowed to actually LIVE the last half of my life. My children were not abused, I stopped the cycle here. I have never killed anyone.

My problems, my childhood issues are not an excuse to be a useful hardworking adult and parent. I will never use it as an excuse to never learn to love fully, live fully or die happy. My childhood was taken from me but not my life.

Kelly
 
I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but have issues from severe childhood abuse and trauma. Over the years, I have gone back and forth to therapist/counselors as I work through incidents. I can only work through things a little at a time as the nightmares and symptoms begin to haunt me daily. In order to avoid having the situation take over my life, I have to be kind to myself and remember that its ok to do that. If I were to be in the place I was in 1989 today, I would most likely be diagnosed as PTSD.

There are events that I can not remember that my sisters/brothers do. Oddly enough I have worked through a lot of the abuse my siblings sufferred that I was a witness to, but my personal abuse has been a lot harder to deal with. I suffered from self esteem and self worth issues, guilt, blame. In the last few years my sister closest to me has finally reached out for help and is inthe stage where she wants to discuss things with me. Her problems stem from my abuse and her witnessing those things. As the oldest and only stepchild I had a little harder time. It took YEARS for me to want to go near a closet. My parents punished us not only physically but emotionally and thru religion. There would be months we were made to stay in our closet anytime we were not in school. We slept, ate and lived there. We were not allowed to take things down from the closet or move shoes. Our parents would make spot checks at all hours of the day and nght and would physically punish us. Initially there was fear of closet punishment but as time went on we learned to appreciate that was the only punishment. We learned to cope. It was the lesser of two evils. And as the oldest, I knew that my brothers and sisters were safe in their closet if they did not do anything they shouldn't. As the oldest I was their parent in many ways and took a lot of punishment for them. My mother would simply tell my father not to get blood on the carpet.

I do not believe JA has any of these issues. My siblings and I can remember times getting on the bus, KNOWING, that there was trouble to be had that day. We had a hyper sense of that. And it was always right. Things other people considered abuse, we considered normal. Our home was shameful and full of secrets. It went into our adult lives and we all suffer from EXTREME boundaries. Not loose ones.

I know that not all people suffer in the same way, or have the same symptoms but even here, in this thread you can see the similarities shared. For all of you who suffer, please know that time may not heal the wounds, but it does make them less. I know my limits now to not have daily nightmares. I understand the types of relationships I have tendency to find and allow to continue. All of these things, thru therapy, have decreased so many of the symptoms and made my life so much easier. I do not currently take meds, but have in the past. I have vowed to actually LIVE the last half of my life. My children were not abused, I stopped the cycle here. I have never killed anyone.

My problems, my childhood issues are not an excuse to be a useful hardworking adult and parent. I will never use it as an excuse to never learn to love fully, live fully or die happy. My childhood was taken from me but not my life.

Kelly
 
Posted By Cate49 The marijuana growing is not significant to me ( I know that many will dispute my post). To me that is just a juvenille experpintation. The parents calling police because of one plant is odd to me. That could have been handled without the police. (IMO). Growing on her parents roof speaks to the juvinille thinking. Like her folks won't see a big weed growing out of their roof!


I agree. Calling the police on a MJ plant. Mypolice dept would be warn out if every parent did that. And I loved your comment about the parents not noticing the weed growing on the roof. Gave me a good laugh and i needed that today
 
momof7 said:
I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but have issues from severe childhood abuse and trauma. Over the years, I have gone back and forth to therapist/counselors as I work through incidents. I can only work through things a little at a time as the nightmares and symptoms begin to haunt me daily. In order to avoid having the situation take over my life, I have to be kind to myself and remember that its ok to do that. If I were to be in the place I was in 1989 today, I would most likely be diagnosed as PTSD.

There are events that I can not remember that my sisters/brothers do. Oddly enough I have worked through a lot of the abuse my siblings sufferred that I was a witness to, but my personal abuse has been a lot harder to deal with. I suffered from self esteem and self worth issues, guilt, blame. In the last few years my sister closest to me has finally reached out for help and is inthe stage where she wants to discuss things with me. Her problems stem from my abuse and her witnessing those things. As the oldest and only stepchild I had a little harder time. It took YEARS for me to want to go near a closet. My parents punished us not only physically but emotionally and thru religion. There would be months we were made to stay in our closet anytime we were not in school. We slept, ate and lived there. We were not allowed to take things down from the closet or move shoes. Our parents would make spot checks at all hours of the day and nght and would physically punish us. Initially there was fear of closet punishment but as time went on we learned to appreciate that was the only punishment. We learned to cope. It was the lesser of two evils. And as the oldest, I knew that my brothers and sisters were safe in their closet if they did not do anything they shouldn't. As the oldest I was their parent in many ways and took a lot of punishment for them. My mother would simply tell my father not to get blood on the carpet.

I do not believe JA has any of these issues. My siblings and I can remember times getting on the bus, KNOWING, that there was trouble to be had that day. We had a hyper sense of that. And it was always right. Things other people considered abuse, we considered normal. Our home was shameful and full of secrets. It went into our adult lives and we all suffer from EXTREME boundaries. Not loose ones.

I know that not all people suffer in the same way, or have the same symptoms but even here, in this thread you can see the similarities shared. For all of you who suffer, please know that time may not heal the wounds, but it does make them less. I know my limits now to not have daily nightmares. I understand the types of relationships I have tendency to find and allow to continue. All of these things, thru therapy, have decreased so many of the symptoms and made my life so much easier. I do not currently take meds, but have in the past. I have vowed to actually LIVE the last half of my life. My children were not abused, I stopped the cycle here. I have never killed anyone.

My problems, my childhood issues are not an excuse to be a useful hardworking adult and parent. I will never use it as an excuse to never learn to love fully, live fully or die happy. My childhood was taken from me but not my life.

Kelly
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I wish there was a smile/icon that was a symbol for a standing ovation. I would give you one right now if you were in front of me. I am awed by your strength and attitude. Bravo
There have been so many posts of people struggling with horrendous cases of rejection and abuse on this site. I feel truly blessed and honored to be reading them and sharing my own. We rock!!
 
crimesnooper said:
I wish there was a smile/icon that was a symbol for a standing ovation. I would give you one right now if you were in front of me. I am awed by your strength and attitude. Bravo
There have been so many posts of people struggling with horrendous cases of rejection and abuse on this site. I feel truly blessed and honored to be reading them and sharing my own. We rock!!
Click to expand...
Yes we do, because we are survivors. :) And we survived because we knew that life COULD be good. We just have to work a little harder than most. :)
 
Fuze said:
Thanks to each poster who shared in this thread, whether suffering w/PTSD or not.

I am amazed reading the stories here! So many are suffering similar things as I. I didn't even know what PTSD was until about 2 months ago when diagnosed by 2 different docs. I was in bad head on car accident, my best friend died. Since then I don't leave the house, haven't driven, sounds of sirens drive me nuts, petrified in car to point of involuntary screaming/jumping/feet up on dash, when another car starts to pull out or gets to close. It's embarrassing and horrible feelings of fear.

I don't remember all of the accident. I remember, in this order, flashes of getting in the car, the sound of crash, the smell of all the fluids, seeing my friend in a flash second, being outside the car, the roof and sound of the helicopter, hollering for my husband in the OR. That is the totality of what I remember of the entire wreck. I found out in the hospital my friend was DOS. I had no head injury.

I want to learn more about this and hope that I can be fixed. :)
Click to expand...

Two months is sooo short a time ago. And you are dealing with a truly horrific event. I am not an expert..but I think ptsd in reaction to one event..is sometimes not easier to get over, but soemtimes takes less time that PSDT caused by events that are over a longer period of time such as abuse. Again, I am not an expert, but this is what I have heard. But be patient with yourself.your reaction are so understanable. And again this really just happened.
Hugs
 
momof7 said:
I have not been diagnosed with PTSD but have issues from severe childhood abuse and trauma. Over the years, I have gone back and forth to therapist/counselors as I work through incidents. I can only work through things a little at a time as the nightmares and symptoms begin to haunt me daily. In order to avoid having the situation take over my life, I have to be kind to myself and remember that its ok to do that. If I were to be in the place I was in 1989 today, I would most likely be diagnosed as PTSD.

There are events that I can not remember that my sisters/brothers do. Oddly enough I have worked through a lot of the abuse my siblings sufferred that I was a witness to, but my personal abuse has been a lot harder to deal with. I suffered from self esteem and self worth issues, guilt, blame. In the last few years my sister closest to me has finally reached out for help and is inthe stage where she wants to discuss things with me. Her problems stem from my abuse and her witnessing those things. As the oldest and only stepchild I had a little harder time. It took YEARS for me not to want to go near a closet. My parents punished us not only physically but emotionally and thru religion. There would be months we were made to stay in our closet anytime we were not in school. We slept, ate and lived there. We were not allowed to take things down from the closet or move shoes. Our parents would make spot checks at all hours of the day and nght and would physically punish us. Initially there was fear of that punishment but as time went on we learned to appreciate that was the only punishment. We learned to cope. It was the lesser of two evils.

I do not believe JA has any of these issues. My siblings and I can remember times getting on the bus, KNOWING, that there was trouble to be had that day. We had a hyper sense of that. And it was always right. Things other people considered abuse, we considered normal. Our home was shameful and full of secrets. It went into our adult lives and we all suffer from EXTREME boundaries. Not loose ones.

I know that not all people suffer in the same way, or have the same symptoms but even here, in this thread you can see the similarities shared. For all of you who suffer, please know that time may not heal the wounds, but it does make them less. I know my limits now to not have daily nightmares. I understand the types of relationships I have tendency to find and allow to continue. All of these things, thru therapy, have decreased so many of the symptoms and made my life so much easier. I do not currently take meds, but have in the past. I have vowed to actually LIVE the last half of my life. My children were not abused, I stopped the cycle here. I have never killed anyone.

My problems, my childhood issues are not an excuse to be a useful hardworking adult and parent. I will never use it as an excuse to never learn to love fully, live fully or die happy. My childhood was taken from me but not my life.

Kelly
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing your story. It's encouraging to hear you have found some help. Even greater to hear the cycle of violence stops. Good luck and Blessings to you.
 
She remembers. A huge cunning liar is what she is and a fake. I do think she & her crummy team have won over at least one juror though, just a bad feeling I have.

I've suffered thru PTSD, it's not pretty, and I remember all of it, unfortunately.
 
I have PTSD. I do not have a full memory of my assault; however, that may be because I was drunk or it may be because I just blocked it out. I do remember pieces. Those pieces haunt me regularly.

I do not drink at all. I actually gave it up almost 20 years ago just a few months after the attack because I could not stand to not be 100% in control of my safety at all times.

I have panic attacks, am clausterphobic, and I hate specific smells and noises. I am hyper sensitive to all kinds of stimuli that seem completely unrelated to my trauma.

I think that if I had been sober, I would remember it all.
 
HarvestMoon said:
She remembers. A huge cunning liar is what she is and a fake. I do think she & her crummy team have won over at least one juror though, just a bad feeling I have.

I've suffered thru PTSD, it's not pretty, and I remember all of it, unfortunately.
Click to expand...

I don't beleive for a second that she has PTSD or that she does not remember. I don't think TA abused her physically either. She has no symptoms that we would normally asscoiate with someone who has been physically abused. Do I think TA was a great guy? Not when it came to women and I think there was emotional abuse in the way he treated her. But even that I think it richocheted(bad speller!) off her. I have known several women who were truly beaten down from emotional abuse..and JA isn't one of them. But even if he had treatly her horribly, there was no threat to her saftey or life. They had a unhealthly, mutual manipulative relationship. To me, the evidence is overwhelming that this was premeditated murder. As far as one juror buying it, I agree...I think Juan Martinez is at fault. I'm clearly not a fan of his and I think he is blowing it.
 
crimesnooper said:
Two months is sooo short a time ago. And you are dealing with a truly horrific event. I am not an expert..but I think ptsd in reaction to one event..is sometimes not easier to get over, but soemtimes takes less time that PSDT caused by events that are over a longer period of time such as abuse. Again, I am not an expert, but this is what I have heard. But be patient with yourself.your reaction are so understanable. And again this really just happened.
Hugs
Click to expand...

Thanks for your words. I apologize for not communicating correctly. I was diagnosed 2 months ago. The accident was 1 1/2 yr ago.
 
No, I don't drink or touch alcohol. :)
 
Hi everyone. :) I'd post more, but I'm having trouble breathing, lol.

Lurk.
 
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