Ron Jr.'s Fate

[stilettos]

Studies show that very few children leave the foster care system whole & healthy.
It also causes an enormous amount of stress for a child to be taken away from his mother. Witnessing mom & dad fight every once in awhile IMO is not as traumatic as being removed from their parents.
Why don't we just punish the guilty ? Make the penalties stiffer for abusers, send THEM away for awhile until they learn their lesson ?
There are women who are afraid their husbands will kill them if they leave. Instead of making the guilty pay, they punish the victims by taking their children and the children by taking them from their mother. To me, this makes no sense.
My daugher & her boyfriend got in a fight recently and the cops were called. He went to jail but CPS called the next day.
Fortunately she listened to me. She didn't let them in the house, showed them the baby was fine and said she didn't need any services. She also had witnesses there in case they tried to twist anything she said.
They went away and sent her a closure letter. If she had talked to them, whatever she said could have been used against her. If she had agreed to services, they would have been in control of her and her son's lives for the next year or more.
Between what I've witnessed and what I've heard, I wouldn't trust my dog with a CPS worker. I'm sure there are good ones, but the damage done by the bad ones have made people fearful of the whole process.
I especially dislike the ones who have no children telling other people how to raise theirs.

RJ should definitely not be in foster care. There are too many people who love him and are capable of taking care of him. Even if they're not the Brady Bunch.

:blowkiss:CHICANA...I know you have had a bad experience and there are many stories of abuse in the system. However, there are times and situations where placement in Foster care is a salvation to the child. I am one of those who entered the system broken and left on the way to wholeness. My story is one of a Step-Father who beat my Mother continually and verbally abused me for years. Eventually he moved on to abusing me. The second time he broke my nose I left and was placed in the home of my Father who had been abusing me as far back as I have memories. Had my placement been in Foster care at that time, it could have saved me endless torture. Placement in Foster care saved me and gave me true parents who are in my life today. I also because of them found the fortitude to care for my step-Father as he died, my Father as he died and my bioMom to this day. Sometimes the best place is outside the family. As this is my career now, I would say that I would have to see psych evals, records and home studies on ANY family member interested in placement. This family has been consistent in it's dysfunction and producing non-functioning criminal and drug addled youth and adults from their parenting style.

 

[Sanddollar14]

:blowkiss:CHICANA...I know you have had a bad experience and there are many stories of abuse in the system. However, there are times and situations where placement in Foster care is a salvation to the child. I am one of those who entered the system broken and left on the way to wholeness. My story is one of a Step-Father who beat my Mother continually and verbally abused me for years. Eventually he moved on to abusing me. The second time he broke my nose I left and was placed in the home of my Father who had been abusing me as far back as I have memories. Had my placement been in Foster care at that time, it could have saved me endless torture. Placement in Foster care saved me and gave me true parents who are in my life today. I also because of them found the fortitude to care for my step-Father as he died, my Father as he died and my bioMom to this day. Sometimes the best place is outside the family. As this is my career now, I would say that I would have to see psych evals, records and home studies on ANY family member interested in placement. This family has been consistent in it's dysfunction and producing non-functioning criminal and drug addled youth and adults from their parenting style.

Stilettos I am sorry that you had such bad experiences with your biological family, but how wonderful you found a family who were healthier and could provide you what you needed. Thank you so much for the job that you do. It has got to be one of the hardest jobs that I have come into contact with which results in few people staying with the job for a long time. Thanks for everything you do to protect our children and keep them safe.

:blowkiss:

 

[CHICANA]

:blowkiss:CHICANA...I know you have had a bad experience and there are many stories of abuse in the system. However, there are times and situations where placement in Foster care is a salvation to the child. I am one of those who entered the system broken and left on the way to wholeness. My story is one of a Step-Father who beat my Mother continually and verbally abused me for years. Eventually he moved on to abusing me. The second time he broke my nose I left and was placed in the home of my Father who had been abusing me as far back as I have memories. Had my placement been in Foster care at that time, it could have saved me endless torture. Placement in Foster care saved me and gave me true parents who are in my life today. I also because of them found the fortitude to care for my step-Father as he died, my Father as he died and my bioMom to this day. Sometimes the best place is outside the family. As this is my career now, I would say that I would have to see psych evals, records and home studies on ANY family member interested in placement. This family has been consistent in it's dysfunction and producing non-functioning criminal and drug addled youth and adults from their parenting style.

Isn't it still the law that a child has to be at imminent risk of serious physical harm or death ?
Otherwise children can be removed based on things like psych evaluations (which are based on opinions and can differ from expert to expert).
It sounds like there were definite signs of physical abuse in your case. When there's not, the decision to remove a child is based on nothing more than the social worker's opinion.
They let my teenager live with a family member who had already raised three children who are convicted criminals. What were they thinking ?
That she deserved another chance ?
When my nephew was molested by an older boy, she didn't report it because the boy's grandma was a friend of hers.
The DEA recently raided her house that her son lives in and she felt bad, not because she allowed or benefitted from his drug dealing, but because she didn't realize that the guy in the broke down car in front of his house was an undercover cop.
I don't have a criminal record and was never accused of being a bad parent until I moved back to my home state and the same county this person lives in. Since she resented the fact that I made more money than she and her husband, she figured she'd get a nice child support payment. This was my oldest child, and they let her live with someone who allowed her 14 year old daughter's boyfriend spend the night.
I know I was a far better parent than she ever was or could be.

It was sick and twisted and it happened because I pizzed off the childless 27 year old social worker.
They came out once because she was skipping school, they didn't even finish the report. They said she was the problem. She had someone who had never been to my home call them after she lost her cell phone and was told she wasn't getting the car til her behavior improved.
I watched every person in that office hide the fact that the social worker didn't follow procedure (or the law) when conducting a criminal background check. They made threats against my two other (smaller) children when I refused to sign what they wanted and because of this, I will never trust a government social worker. If I needed services, I would never go to them and I wouldn't call if I only suspected abuse against a child. I would have to know they were abused, otherwise it would be my fault if they took a child from a good home and put him with someone who might be worse. This is what the bad social workers do to parents. I was not this way before, I held CPS workers in high regard and thought all parents who were in the system were lowlife child abusers.
This is why I think even the not so great parents are still better than the state.
If one person would have listened to me or admitted that what they did was wrong, I wouldn't feel the way I do now. I also don't think that RJ should be handed over to strangers because there might be somebody better out there.
And I don't think a government paid CPS worker should get to call all the shots regarding this little boy.
Taking him from his entire family will HURT him. It's fact, and he should be with family.
I'm sorry for what happened to you and I hope you are one of the 'good ones'.
Is it still the law that a child has to be at risk of serious physical harm or danger to be removed from his parents ?

 

[stilettos]

Isn't it still the law that a child has to be at imminent risk of serious physical harm or death ?
Otherwise children can be removed based on things like psych evaluations (which are based on opinions and can differ from expert to expert).
It sounds like there were definite signs of physical abuse in your case. When there's not, the decision to remove a child is based on nothing more than the social worker's opinion.
They let my teenager live with a family member who had already raised three children who are convicted criminals. What were they thinking ?
That she deserved another chance ?
When my nephew was molested by an older boy, she didn't report it because the boy's grandma was a friend of hers.
The DEA recently raided her house that her son lives in and she felt bad, not because she allowed or benefitted from his drug dealing, but because she didn't realize that the guy in the broke down car in front of his house was an undercover cop.
I don't have a criminal record and was never accused of being a bad parent until I moved back to my home state and the same county this person lives in. Since she resented the fact that I made more money than she and her husband, she figured she'd get a nice child support payment. This was my oldest child, and they let her live with someone who allowed her 14 year old daughter's boyfriend spend the night.
I know I was a far better parent than she ever was or could be.

It was sick and twisted and it happened because I pizzed off the childless 27 year old social worker.
They came out once because she was skipping school, they didn't even finish the report. They said she was the problem. She had someone who had never been to my home call them after she lost her cell phone and was told she wasn't getting the car til her behavior improved.
I watched every person in that office hide the fact that the social worker didn't follow procedure (or the law) when conducting a criminal background check. They made threats against my two other (smaller) children when I refused to sign what they wanted and because of this, I will never trust a government social worker. If I needed services, I would never go to them and I wouldn't call if I only suspected abuse against a child. I would have to know they were abused, otherwise it would be my fault if they took a child from a good home and put him with someone who might be worse. This is what the bad social workers do to parents. I was not this way before, I held CPS workers in high regard and thought all parents who were in the system were lowlife child abusers.
This is why I think even the not so great parents are still better than the state.
If one person would have listened to me or admitted that what they did was wrong, I wouldn't feel the way I do now. I also don't think that RJ should be handed over to strangers because there might be somebody better out there.
And I don't think a government paid CPS worker should get to call all the shots regarding this little boy.
Taking him from his entire family will HURT him. It's fact, and he should be with family.
I'm sorry for what happened to you and I hope you are one of the 'good ones'.
Is it still the law that a child has to be at risk of serious physical harm or danger to be removed from his parents ?

I will say that what happened to you was wrong. I do know the trouble an ignorant social worker can cause. I had foster children myself, in FL. This situation is such that RC has committed a statutory crime against minors in the same home that JR lives in. In my book that makes him a man who is actively commiting a crime against children and that warrants removal of the child. The danger you speak of is appropriate in this case. One child was already abducted under the watch of a drug addled minor who the Father left her with. Should we wait until it happens to JR.

As far as me being one of the good ones...I am not a caseworker. I work with the State Court systems for cases of child abuse. Cases that would include a caseworker who was negligent. We disagree on this case, not on your own.

I know that we disagree here...I want to say that admire you and your courage in sharing this personal story with others and for your passion to help others. It matches mine, we just have different experiences to draw from. :blowkiss:

 

[donnam]

That said, Ron should be in jail for the felony offense of having sex with a 16 year old girl. If the law had been enforced, this wouldn't even be cause for discussion.

Is it a fact that this is a felony in their state?
Here in Jersey, 16 is the age of consent. Also, the law states if they are over the age of 13 and under the age of 16 there has to be a 4 yr age difference for it to be illegal. I know this for a fact because of something one of my daughters went through. She was 15 at the time and the guy was 18. I wanted to press charges and I couldn't because he wasn't 4 yrs older.

 

[CHICANA]

:blowkiss:CHICANA...I know you have had a bad experience and there are many stories of abuse in the system. However, there are times and situations where placement in Foster care is a salvation to the child. I am one of those who entered the system broken and left on the way to wholeness. My story is one of a Step-Father who beat my Mother continually and verbally abused me for years. Eventually he moved on to abusing me. The second time he broke my nose I left and was placed in the home of my Father who had been abusing me as far back as I have memories. Had my placement been in Foster care at that time, it could have saved me endless torture. Placement in Foster care saved me and gave me true parents who are in my life today. I also because of them found the fortitude to care for my step-Father as he died, my Father as he died and my bioMom to this day. Sometimes the best place is outside the family. As this is my career now, I would say that I would have to see psych evals, records and home studies on ANY family member interested in placement. This family has been consistent in it's dysfunction and producing non-functioning criminal and drug addled youth and adults from their parenting style.

I know there are kids that have to be taken out of abusive homes, and if the ones who were truly at risk were the only ones in foster care, more time could be spent making sure they were in good hands and getting the best care possible.
Based on our personal experiences, we both have valid reasons for our very strong and differing opinions.
Before my bad experience I thought a lot like you. I had faith in 'expert opinions' and psychiatric evaluations until I learned that the experts and psychiatrist are paid by the state and in many cases go along with CPS wants. Not all, the therapist that the state assigned to me actually left her agency after my case and asked me to write a reference letter for her when she applied at a new company.
There have actually been CPS workers who have exposed the corruption within the system. I think it involves all states, but I've heard that some counties in my state are much worse. A caseworker from a neighboring county said mine was the best at 'cleaning up their messes'. Must be true because I talked to a couple who have a foster care group home and an 11 year old who had been in 17 different foster homes committed suicide last year. He said there were 3 others on our county,but I never saw a news report on any of them.
What's scary is that many CPS workers don't know the state statutes they're regulated by. In a therapy session with my daughter, the therapist cracked up when my daughter told her that the caseworker was tired of my quoting state statutes.
Being a WS first thing I looked for was the caseworker's my space. She doesn't even want kids. I must say the dog she has for her profile pic is much cuter than she is.

Please don't think I have any sympathy for people who actually abuse their children. I started following these boards (starting w/ in-sessions) because of the Nixmary Brown case. My kids have seen me crying many times while reading about some of these cases. My nine year old son is brilliant, once he came upstairs to find me bawling and said "they found Caylee, didn't they mom" ?
I think child abusers should be in jail along with RC.
My personal opinion is that Ron was physically abusive to Haleigh, RJ and every woman he's ever been with. I'm glad you're not a caseworker because I don't deny my prejudice against them. :blowkiss:

 

[CHICANA]

Is it a fact that this is a felony in their state?
Here in Jersey, 16 is the age of consent. Also, the law states if they are over the age of 13 and under the age of 16 there has to be a 4 yr age difference for it to be illegal. I know this for a fact because of something one of my daughters went through. She was 15 at the time and the guy was 18. I wanted to press charges and I couldn't because he wasn't 4 yrs older.

Yes, and the Florida statute is posted somewhere. She was 16 and he was
24.

 

[Dr. Know?]

stilettos & Chicana, Thanks for both of your views.

 

[CHICANA]

stilettos & Chicana, Thanks for both of your views.

What's yours ?
Don't worry about offending me, I'm used to having the unpopular opinion.
Regardless, I'll still think I'm right.
Sometimes people get so frustrated with me, they give me a :banghead:

 

[Bobbisangel]

I will say that what happened to you was wrong. I do know the trouble an ignorant social worker can cause. I had foster children myself, in FL. This situation is such that RC has committed a statutory crime against minors in the same home that JR lives in. In my book that makes him a man who is actively commiting a crime against children and that warrants removal of the child. The danger you speak of is appropriate in this case. One child was already abducted under the watch of a drug addled minor who the Father left her with. Should we wait until it happens to JR.

As far as me being one of the good ones...I am not a caseworker. I work with the State Court systems for cases of child abuse. Cases that would include a caseworker who was negligent. We disagree on this case, not on your own.

I know that we disagree here...I want to say that admire you and your courage in sharing this personal story with others and for your passion to help others. It matches mine, we just have different experiences to draw from. :blowkiss:

So the state can take RJ away from Ron based on rumor? It isn't a fact that Misty was using drugs or had used drugs the night that Haleigh disappeared. There is no proof that she had been or is taking drugs at all. It is the same as far as Ron is concerned. He may have used at one time but there has been no proof that he uses now.

Ron was never charged because he was sleeping with Misty when she was underage. LE had every chance to arrest him when it became known that Misty was living with him. It didn't happen. I don't see how that can become the basis for taking RJ away from him when LE didn't do anything about it and there was never an arrest.

Crystal didn't bother to fight for her kids before Haleigh disappeared. All of a sudden...after her saying that Ron is a good dad and that he loves Haleigh..she has changed her mind and spread rumors all over the media saying the opposite about Ron. That is how all of this "take RJ away from Ron" thing started...when Crystal decided to attack Ron when Haleigh was abducted. Before that no one was turning Ron in to CPS or LE. I think there should have to be proof that you are a bad parent before your kids can be taken. If kids are taken because someone reported something then that is wrong. I could call CPS and report my neighbor just because she made me mad about something that didn't even have to do with her child. That gives me a lot of power if it is that easy to get someone's child taken away from them. I really hope RJ doesn't get taken from Ron just because of rumors in the media, on forums like this one, or in his home town.

 

[MCDRAW]

I am not a perfect parent. I do not however do drugs, leave my children with those who do and I do not threaten to kill people. I am however, one of the former children who was removed from the home of an abusing parent who on the outside looked to be safe. Removing me saved my life and prevented the rape of my younger sister. Sometimes waiting because of fear is the last thing you should do.

I am very glad that you and your sister were removed. Were you removed because of a rumor, obviously not, because there were facts. That's all I am saying, there must be proof. I have never done drugs, left my children alone or threatened to kill anyone but if someone decided to spread the rumor that I had, I would hate to think my children were taken because of rumors.

 

[stilettos]

I am very glad that you and your sister were removed. Were you removed because of a rumor, obviously not, because there were facts. That's all I am saying, there must be proof. I have never done drugs, left my children alone or threatened to kill anyone but if someone decided to spread the rumor that I had, I would hate to think my children were taken because of rumors.

No MCDRAW, a child should not be taken for a rumor. It is however, a fact that RC is comitting a felony against a child in the presence of his children and has done so one at least one other occasion with a different child. That is fact and sufficient cause for removal of both children. It is not a rumor that RC threatened to shoot out the back of a police car. Are his guns kept in a gun safe? Are they kept loaded? With children around? It is not a rumor that he threatened to kill someone. It is also not a rumor that he left his children with a minor coming off a three day drug bender and that he ws aware of it. All sufficient grounds here in GA to remove the children..combined it would rate as an emergency.

 

[stilettos]

So the state can take RJ away from Ron based on rumor? It isn't a fact that Misty was using drugs or had used drugs the night that Haleigh disappeared. There is no proof that she had been or is taking drugs at all. It is the same as far as Ron is concerned. He may have used at one time but there has been no proof that he uses now.

Ron was never charged because he was sleeping with Misty when she was underage. LE had every chance to arrest him when it became known that Misty was living with him. It didn't happen. I don't see how that can become the basis for taking RJ away from him when LE didn't do anything about it and there was never an arrest.

Crystal didn't bother to fight for her kids before Haleigh disappeared. All of a sudden...after her saying that Ron is a good dad and that he loves Haleigh..she has changed her mind and spread rumors all over the media saying the opposite about Ron. That is how all of this "take RJ away from Ron" thing started...when Crystal decided to attack Ron when Haleigh was abducted. Before that no one was turning Ron in to CPS or LE. I think there should have to be proof that you are a bad parent before your kids can be taken. If kids are taken because someone reported something then that is wrong. I could call CPS and report my neighbor just because she made me mad about something that didn't even have to do with her child. That gives me a lot of power if it is that easy to get someone's child taken away from them. I really hope RJ doesn't get taken from Ron just because of rumors in the media, on forums like this one, or in his home town.

i do not know the statutes in the state of FL. Here in GA irrespective of the fact that LE has not charged a parent with violation of the statute...if the parent is committing a statutory crime against children they can lose their children through DFCS.

 

[CHICANA]

So the state can take RJ away from Ron based on rumor? It isn't a fact that Misty was using drugs or had used drugs the night that Haleigh disappeared. There is no proof that she had been or is taking drugs at all. It is the same as far as Ron is concerned. He may have used at one time but there has been no proof that he uses now.

Ron was never charged because he was sleeping with Misty when she was underage. LE had every chance to arrest him when it became known that Misty was living with him. It didn't happen. I don't see how that can become the basis for taking RJ away from him when LE didn't do anything about it and there was never an arrest.

Crystal didn't bother to fight for her kids before Haleigh disappeared. All of a sudden...after her saying that Ron is a good dad and that he loves Haleigh..she has changed her mind and spread rumors all over the media saying the opposite about Ron. That is how all of this "take RJ away from Ron" thing started...when Crystal decided to attack Ron when Haleigh was abducted. Before that no one was turning Ron in to CPS or LE. I think there should have to be proof that you are a bad parent before your kids can be taken. If kids are taken because someone reported something then that is wrong. I could call CPS and report my neighbor just because she made me mad about something that didn't even have to do with her child. That gives me a lot of power if it is that easy to get someone's child taken away from them. I really hope RJ doesn't get taken from Ron just because of rumors in the media, on forums like this one, or in his home town.

I don't think they should take him from RC, I think they should let him live with his mom.

 

[titanfan62702]

It really doesn't matter what I think about RC, MC, and their parenting skills. The bottom line is what DCFS believes. I do know that there is a major difference between someone knowing about a child's welfare and being able to legally prove it. That is why I don't fault who did/did not say anything.

 

[Melanie]

I didn't vote yet. I don't think there are any stable family members, but if there were I would vote for that.

Me too. There has to be someone out there? The foster care system is littered with drugs, child abusers, and the like.

I would rather Ron Jr. be around someone he knows, or have weekly CPS visits (yah, as if that would ever happen).

Ron has 2 children now (teen bride and Jr) and with Haleigh missing, I think that's more than he can handle. He should voluntarily give Jr. to a family member.....or maybe ditch the babysitter/bride?

Best,

 

[lil momma]

Since RC, MC, & JR are living with RC's mom, i don't think that DCF is going to come in and do anything. I think that custody from the very beginning shouldn't have been given to RC. b/c at the time of the custody hearing he was in trouble with drugs, and if the judge would have seen his record then he wouldn't have been granted custody and HC would probably still be with us....IMHO

 

[stilettos]

Since RC, MC, & JR are living with RC's mom, i don't think that DCF is going to come in and do anything. I think that custody from the very beginning shouldn't have been given to RC. b/c at the time of the custody hearing he was in trouble with drugs, and if the judge would have seen his record then he wouldn't have been granted custody and HC would probably still be with us....IMHO

I would really like to see that Judge sanctioned or warned about foolish judgements such as this.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

If DCFS believed that Rj was in immediate danger, he would already have been taken away from Ronald! This has not happened and is a good indication it is not going to happen.

KP can keep on going with her nasty campaign for custody, but a judge will see it for what it is worth. BS won't win a reversal or have Rj removed from his father's care, imo.

 

[Dr. Know?]

No, I don't think with everyone that has been around RC he would hit JR, and being with his GM. It takes 60 days is what I have read for DCF to make their decision. I just hope they are watching Misty with him. The papers were filed I believe, correct me if I am wrong, on March 17th. So JR to me is sort of safe and DCF is going to file their report in mid May. Hmmm....