Spanking illegal?

[Amraann]

My father would spank me .....

This was back in the 70's when it was ok. He never abused me in what I think of as abuse.....

He would say "Amraan" (ok, it was my real name) "when we get home I am going to spank you....."
We would get home an he would sit in my room call me in and plant a firm one on my butt.
I never detected that he was angry.
MY father also instilled the notion in me that I was smart and could do anything growing up.

The Florida school system still makes it legal in their school rules to paddle a child(corpral punishment) although only one county still does. (BTW that county has less issues within their school then any other)

DO you know that in the wild ... animals hit or bite their young (ok not advocating biting for humans) but I will say I once had the pleasure of having a neighbor who had a male and female monkey and they had a baby...... If the baby would get out of line the mommy monkey would spank it.

I have spanked my children .... rarely but still have none-the-less. I have found that they have favorite toys that can be taken away and that impacts their behavoir more then any well placed spanking...
I think there is a huge difference between abusing your child and a spanking.
THe problem is its a thin gray line... In my mind being angry and hitting your child is abuse... How do you prove legally someone was angry as opposed to just swatting a butt??
IN Florida I think its still legal to spank a child however it must be on the hiney with your hand (even though) the schools can with a very large wooden paddle.

I just want to say that even in the justice system punishment is meant to be fearful. Prison is a deterant because it instills fear. The death penalty is fearful, A spanking is fearful.

 

[Mabel]

....................

Go out to dinner, and there's kids being brats. Same with malls, movies, and grocery stores. I rarely go to family restaurants any more for this very reason.
.........................

Here on my planet it's usually the adults acting up. If anyone needs "a good beating" it's the cell phone talkers in restaurants who seem to believe that everyone within 100 feet needs to hear their side of the conversation, or it's the nasty old men who are so rude as to loudly blow their nose at the table after they finish their meal, spoiling the appetite of the other diners. It's also the adult drivers with cell phones glued to their ears who don't even realize how poorly they're driving. It's the adults in grocery stores who change their minds about buying the meat they put in their cart and leave it to rot in the bread aisle, or the elderly people who cluster in groups to visit, blocking the aisle for everyone else. It's the cashiers who are so busy chatting that the customer has to wait to get a word in edgewise. It's also the adults in movie theaters who talk all through the movie or constantly bump the seat in front of them.

Children have an excuse for acting like kids. There is no excuse for a bratty adult.

 

[IrishMist]

Here on my planet it's usually the adults acting up. If anyone needs "a good beating" it's the cell phone talkers in restaurants who seem to believe that everyone within 100 feet needs to hear their side of the conversation, or it's the nasty old men who are so rude as to loudly blow their nose at the table after they finish their meal, spoiling the appetite of the other diners. It's also the adult drivers with cell phones glued to their ears who don't even realize how poorly they're driving. It's the adults in grocery stores who change their minds about buying the meat they put in their cart and leave it to rot in the bread aisle, or the elderly people who cluster in groups to visit, blocking the aisle for everyone else. It's the cashiers who are so busy chatting that the customer has to wait to get a word in edgewise. It's also the adults in movie theaters who talk all through the movie or constantly bump the seat in front of them.

Children have an excuse for acting like kids. There is no excuse for a bratty adult.

YEAH! Them too! Especially the nose blowers! That makes me ILL

Except for the cashiers that are chatting, cause it's people like me they are chatting with.

The IrishMister shakes his head at me all the time, because I'm always chatting with everyone.

 

[Denver Dem]

I truly believe that, if I wasn't spanked when I was a kid, I'd be in some sort of trouble all these years later and would not have the good life that I have now.

I absolutely do NOT feel that I was abused by being spanked and, it is MY butt.

I wonder if George Bush or Dick Cheney were spanked? lol your emoticon . :crazy:

 

[tybee204]

Making spanking a crime wont deter child abuse. Spanking is a method of parenting people use all over the world. The Government interferring with decisions on parenting IMO is intrusive. Child abuse is already illegal and people continue to abuse children. Spanking is different then child abuse. Every child requires different levels of dicipline. For some children timeouts, loss of privilage etc is effective. For others a swat on the behind gets their attention. I know in my childhood I stayed out of trouble many many times just at the thought of my mother telling me to go pick a switch. lol

 

[concernedperson]

My spanking of my children was more like a puff of spanking. Never could do that too well. I was beat with a belt until welts showed up. Beat with curtain rods but not as bad as my sister.Beat with hands, both male and female.Beat with abuse at a very young age. My children do not have any understanding of that and won't. Ever.

 

[IdahoMom]

I wonder if George Bush or Dick Cheney were spanked? lol your emoticon . :crazy:

Why did they get brought into this? I've read this entire thread- what did I miss? I thought this was a California law.

 

[Details]

The odd thing about this is that under 4 is where I can see spanking being most necessary. At early ages, it's sometimes not possible to communicate well enough with a toddler to explain things. A spanking is much more clear. I don't think it's necessary often, mostly for times when they are trying to do something dangerous to them (like run out in the road), and it should never be done in anger - but I don't see much wrong with a little spanking (nothing with a belt or leaving a mark).

 

[Mabel]

Someone needs to define exactly what spanking means. Many times my dad spanked me with a belt to the point where blood ran down my legs and left me with huge purple welts on my bottom that took weeks to disappear. I'm sure that my father didn't consider it to be abuse, in his mind it was discipline. My mother yanked handfuls of hair out of my head when she pulled me up from where I was crouched on the floor so that she could beat me with the belt. She didn't feel that she was an abuser. Who is to decide where the line is crossed?

As someone who has raised three kids to be fine upstanding adults without resorting to violence, I fail to see no need for it. Children have a natural desire to please their parents. A parent who understands that desire and praises their child for good behavior has no need to resort to physical violence to keep the child in line. The only reason, IMO, that any child grows up with a sense of entitlement, as a previous poster complained, is because the parents have spoiled the child. A "beating" is not going to undo what years of spoiling has created.

We all, as children and as adults, live up to our reputations. If we praise our children for being good, they will be good in order to please us. As adults, if our spouses, employers, or friends praise us for having certain virtues, we will live up to their expectations. Kind words, expectations, and rewards create good children. We teach our children nothing through the use of physical punishment other than the fact that the bigger, stonger, bully type person wins. To each their own, I suppose, but that's not a lesson that I ever chose to inflict upon my kids.

 

[SadieMae]

The odd thing about this is that under 4 is where I can see spanking being most necessary. At early ages, it's sometimes not possible to communicate well enough with a toddler to explain things. A spanking is much more clear. I don't think it's necessary often, mostly for times when they are trying to do something dangerous to them (like run out in the road), and it should never be done in anger - but I don't see much wrong with a little spanking (nothing with a belt or leaving a mark).

I agree. It's hard to explain to a 3 year old the consequences of running in the street and what happens if they get hit by a car. They don't really have a clue. All they need to know and all I think they understand at that age is "NO". A good swat on the fanny is all the explanation they can comprehend IMO.

 

[Mabel]

Gosh, has anyone considered the idea of not allowing their 3 year old to play near the street?

 

[narlacat]

Someone needs to define exactly what spanking means. Many times my dad spanked me with a belt to the point where blood ran down my legs and left me with huge purple welts on my bottom that took weeks to disappear. I'm sure that my father didn't consider it to be abuse, in his mind it was discipline. My mother yanked handfuls of hair out of my head when she pulled me up from where I was crouched on the floor so that she could beat me with the belt. She didn't feel that she was an abuser. Who is to decide where the line is crossed?

As someone who has raised three kids to be fine upstanding adults without resorting to violence, I fail to see no need for it. Children have a natural desire to please their parents. A parent who understands that desire and praises their child for good behavior has no need to resort to physical violence to keep the child in line. The only reason, IMO, that any child grows up with a sense of entitlement, as a previous poster complained, is because the parents have spoiled the child. A "beating" is not going to undo what years of spoiling has created.

We all, as children and as adults, live up to our reputations. If we praise our children for being good, they will be good in order to please us. As adults, if our spouses, employers, or friends praise us for having certain virtues, we will live up to their expectations. Kind words, expectations, and rewards create good children. We teach our children nothing through the use of physical punishment other than the fact that the bigger, stonger, bully type person wins. To each their own, I suppose, but that's not a lesson that I ever chose to inflict upon my kids.

Well, probably not me, but that sure sounds like abuse to me.

Do you think it was?

 

[SadieMae]

Gosh, has anyone considered the idea of not allowing their 3 year old to play near the street?

Mine would not play near the street, but while going for a walk with a 3 year old and one in the stroller, he did suddenly run off from me and ran in the street from the sidewalk. He didn't come right back when I called him, so I went after him and gave him a swat. He didn't do it ever again.

 

[Sheromom]

A good shepherd uses a rod to direct the sheep along the right path so that they remain safe. A good shepherd never hits the sheep with the rod.

Likely, this statement from the old testament was not talking about physical punishment of children, but rather about being a trustworthy, observant shepherd and directing children's paths so that they remain safe.

Ah, yes; but then again, the good shepherd was not above using the crook of that staff to physically pull a straying sheep back into the safety of the flock.

 

[Mr. E]

Here on my planet it's usually the adults acting up. If anyone needs "a good beating" it's the cell phone talkers in restaurants who seem to believe that everyone within 100 feet needs to hear their side of the conversation, or it's the nasty old men who are so rude as to loudly blow their nose at the table after they finish their meal, spoiling the appetite of the other diners. It's also the adult drivers with cell phones glued to their ears who don't even realize how poorly they're driving. It's the adults in grocery stores who change their minds about buying the meat they put in their cart and leave it to rot in the bread aisle, or the elderly people who cluster in groups to visit, blocking the aisle for everyone else. It's the cashiers who are so busy chatting that the customer has to wait to get a word in edgewise. It's also the adults in movie theaters who talk all through the movie or constantly bump the seat in front of them.

Children have an excuse for acting like kids. There is no excuse for a bratty adult.

Amen! I have been much more annoyed by the adults I encounter when I'm out-and-about than the children. I also hate the way I hear parents talking to their kids in public, ordering them around, snipping at them, shouting at them. I heard a woman yelling at her kid to "sit the f*ck" in his carseat. I heard a woman telling her little boy that she was going to "bust his *advertiser censored*." Then parents (not all, of course) wonder why their kids are violent or disrespectful.

 

[luthersmama]

LOL. I had a mom like yours. I think a spanking or swat on the behind gets kids attention. It is not meant to hurt so much as to startle them. I didn't beleive in spanking my first kid. I remember he used to grab things off the coffee table when he was about 2 and I was told to slap his hands. I didn't until I realised it is better to slap their hands, not hard, than to have them grab a glass they might break and cut themselves. Or swat their butt when they ran out to the road rather than have them hit by a car. I don't think anyone condones child abuse. This law might confuse spanking and child abuse.

I agree 110%. At 2 a kid just doesn't listen all the time. Getting them to understand that something unpleasant is going to happen is important to keeping them safe. A swat on the butt will get a toddler's attention when "reasoning" and cajoling would take too long and not be effective.

 

[angelmom]

Gosh, has anyone considered the idea of not allowing their 3 year old to play near the street?

Good idea! Let's keep them in playpens until they reach the age of reason!

 

[Details]

Someone needs to define exactly what spanking means. Many times my dad spanked me with a belt to the point where blood ran down my legs and left me with huge purple welts on my bottom that took weeks to disappear. I'm sure that my father didn't consider it to be abuse, in his mind it was discipline. My mother yanked handfuls of hair out of my head when she pulled me up from where I was crouched on the floor so that she could beat me with the belt. She didn't feel that she was an abuser. Who is to decide where the line is crossed?

Society, or a judge. But really, it's not that hard to say that anything remotely resembling your experience is past the line.

Spanking - at least the type of spanking many of us are saying should not be outlawed, and does have it's place on occasion - does no physical damage to the child, doesn't really do anything more than at most smart a little. It's not done when the parent is angry or yelling or out of control in any way.

My mom did it - and I don't remember it ever hurting - I can't even remember it - but I remember that even mentioning that I might be due a spanking being a sign I had gone too far - that stopped me right there. Hard to remember, since after all, we were good kids, happy, creative, lots of freedom, and she naturally only used it when we were very young.

The classic example is in a parking lot - ever see a little kid see something or think it's funny to run away from mom in the few instants between locking the car and taking their hand?

 

[Jeana (DP)]

I don't believe in spanking, ESPECIALLY a child under the age of 4; however, I don;'t think its the government's business.

 

[eve]

I must live on an entirely different planet because I don't see monster kids everywhere. My daughter and the kids she goes to school with are polite, intelligent, and caring young adults. They have jobs, they do volunteer work, they get good grades, they obey rules, and they stay out of trouble. My sons are both hard working responsible young men who support themselves and are the first to jump in and offer help to anyone who needs it. Their girlfriends both have jobs and attend college in the evenings.

Where is this place where so many bad kids live? I'd like to know so that I never make the mistake of moving there.

But Mabel, look at your location! LOL!

Those nice kids must have had some discipline. I used spanking only judiciously - in certain situations. In talking to my almost 20 year old about this the other day, he had this to say, " Mama, I now know tough love is the best love."

All parenting philosophy aside, this issue not the government's business. I think if CA is a predictor of things to come, we are in a lot of trouble in this country. Abuse laws are already on the books.

Does the lala land you live in preserve our personal Constitutional freedoms, Mabel?

Eve