The Verdict is In - post your thoughts here

[otto]

Hi otto.

Firstly, I strongly suggest you urgently get those depo tapes, popcorn, flasks of hot chocolate ... and sit back and enjoy the evening's entertainment. It will floor you just as it did us, the majority of the world ... NC's family ... and a jury of 12 of his peers.

Secondly, you asked for examples of control prior to April 08.

I replied:

Why did he not sort her Greencard out when they arrived in USA? So that NC could work, feel at home - and not be an alien to the society he brought her to for 7 plus years?

Emphasis on ... ALIEN.

I've heard some of the deposition testimony and I can asure you that I will not be floored if Brad does not provide middle names for his parents and the full name of a toddler that should not be publicly named. There was no excuse for Nancy's family lawyer to hammer the point that Brad was not going to be forthcoming about the full names of his parents and brother's family.

What is involved for a Canadian with a green card to get a green card for his wife? Normally, green cards are issued to people from other countries with specific skills that are needed locally. Could Brad's employer give Nancy a green card and a job? I haven't heard that Nancy studied after high school ... have I missed this information? If she didn't have any specialized skills, other than teaching software (which wasn't needed at Brad's workplace), could Brad (a Canadian) get her a green card?

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

I have to admit I have not listened to Brad's custody related Examination for Discovery sessions other than skimming.

A "mind thing" = psychological abuse including verbal abuse? Prior to April, were there examples of psychological abuse? After April, we have come to understand that "financial abuse" has been alleged because of the newly established divorce budget.

Well, against common, popular knowledge and fact ... let's say no. No, there wasn't an existing example of this abuse. NC & BC lived a happy normal life, typical ups and downs - not perfect ...yet suddenly come April 2008 they both morph into sudden vitriolic hate-mode and a sep agreement flies in outta the blue and the world blames Brad for NC's murder ... for no reason. Then the CPD set out to frame him to keep citizens happy that villains don't cruise Cary.

*Of course* there was.

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

When Nancy was telling so many people such personal details about her life, was that her cry for help, or a nannerism? The defense has presented this as a nannerism, but in reality, people like Laci Peterson didn't say a word, neither did Michelle Young. Nancy Cooper said something but it made no difference, she was too late in deciding to leave.

Shoooo. Seems to me you really, really, really .... really .... want to keep the focus of attention or blame on NC. Rather than speak for NC, I'll try and generalize - though your statement calls for common sense, IMO.

Everyone is different. You get happy, sad, strong, weak, placid, defensive, emotional, head-strong, witty, depressed, easily angered people in this world. No 2 are similar. Some may find it hard to discuss what goes on behind closed doors; maybe they believe it'll get better (never does).

Others turn to their friends for network support. Especially if that person was known to be great fun, gregarious and social. And more-so if that person was not allowed to work and have a modicum of independence. And when that person *did* get extra cash for, say odd-jobs ... the same amount would be deducted from her weekly "keep".

How each or any one of us reacts is not text-book material.

It's the monster ruling, controlling, conditioning that person, that is the demonic catalyst, IMO. And woe betide anyone that dares defy "The Ruler".

 

[otto]

I think that if there's one thing that women of domestic violence need to understand ... it's that when their gut feeling says leave, it's time. They should not stay another day even to clean the dress.

I found it interesting that the motive put forth by the prosecution is that Brad got angry. Premeditated means he got so angry he thought about it for a couple of days and at noon on July 11, he tapped into the map and made a decision.

 

[otto]

Well, against common, popular knowledge and fact ... let's say no. No, there wasn't an existing example of this abuse. NC & BC lived a happy normal life, typical ups and downs - not perfect ...yet suddenly come April 2008 they both morph into sudden vitriolic hate-mode and a sep agreement flies in outta the blue and the world blames Brad for NC's murder ... for no reason. Then the CPD set out to frame him to keep citizens happy that villains don't cruise Cary.

*Of course* there was.

I don't know about the rumor that villians don't roam Cary, but Brad was held responsible for Nancy's murder because he had means, motive and opportuinty (just like any husband), just like others.

Brad is convicted of first degree murder, so there's probably a good reason. As far as I can understand, Brad's ups and downs started in 2005, and Nancy's ups and downs started in 2001. It's hard to say when the love stopped and the hate started, but it appears to be in the first year of the marriage.

 

[Bottle Cap]

Emotional abuse can be loosely defined as any behavior designed to subjugate and control another human being. There is no dollar value attached to it, and there is no standard of car the victim has to drive in order to be subject to emotional abuse.

The relationships are generally authority-based. Denied to the dependent as much as possible are: the freedom to perceive; to think and interpret; to feel; to want, need and choose.

Power is not based on respect. Problems are blamed on the dependents poor attitude and character flaws. Needs are frustrated and denied. Dependents are under constant stress. The authority figure rarely admits mistakes or apologizes. The authority figure creates an intricate system of punishments and rewards which rob the dependent of the 4 things listed above. Dependents are held responsible for the authority figures feelings - anger, disappointment, humiliation, unhappiness. Everything takes place in a way that does not reveal the authority figure's true motives.

Emotional abuse typically preceeds physical abuse - not the other way around.

Sorry for the lecture, but it seemed one was needed.

 

[otto]

Shoooo. Seems to me you really, really, really .... really .... want to keep the focus of attention or blame on NC. Rather than speak for NC, I'll try and generalize - though your statement calls for common sense, IMO.

Everyone is different. You get happy, sad, strong, weak, placid, defensive, emotional, head-strong, witty, depressed, easily angered people in this world. No 2 are similar. Some may find it hard to discuss what goes on behind closed doors; maybe they believe it'll get better (never does).

Others turn to their friends for network support. Especially if that person was known to be great fun, gregarious and social. And more-so if that person was not allowed to work and have a modicum of independence. And when that person *did* get extra cash for, say odd-jobs ... the same amount would be deducted from her weekly "keep".

How each or any one of us reacts is not text-book material.

It's the monster ruling, controlling, conditioning that person, that is the demonic catalyst, IMO. And woe betide anyone that dares defy "The Ruler".

No, I'm actually wondering if Nancy was frightened by her day to day experiences with Brad, and if talking about it with anyone that would listen was was her way of crying out for help. People have asked why she was talking about personal marriage details with complete strangers. Maybe she was looking for some sort of vaildation.

There is no textbook reaction to domestic abuse just like there is supposedly no textbook reaction to having a missing or murdered spouse or child. Not true. I think there is a text book reaction to domestic or psychological abuse and "a sense of worthlessness" is high on the charts. Mark Geragos would have us believe that grieving takes the form of partying for some people. Domestic abuse is about victims that are unable to tell their husbands that they've arranged a couple of interviews in another country and need $600 for an outfit ... where their husbands pay even though they are completely broke until the next paycheck.

 

[otto]

Emotional abuse can be loosely defined as any behavior designed to subjugate and control another human being. There is no dollar value attached to it, and there is no standard of car the victim has to drive in order to be subject to emotional abuse.

The relationships are generally authority-based. Denied to the dependent as much as possible are: the freedom to perceive; to think and interpret; to feel; to want, need and choose.

Power is not based on respect. Problems are blamed on the dependents poor attitude and character flaws. Needs are frustrated and denied. Dependents are under constant stress. The authority figure rarely admits mistakes or apologizes. The authority figure creates an intricate system of punishments and rewards which rob the dependent of the 4 things listed above. Dependents are held responsible for the authority figures feelings - anger, disappointment, humiliation, unhappiness. Everything takes place in a way that does not reveal the authority figure's true motives.

Emotional abuse typically preceeds physical abuse - not the other way around.

Sorry for the lecture, but it seemed one was needed.

Who had the power in the marriage? Who was locked out of the master bedroom?

 

[Tipstaff]

To name just a few, and none of these convictions have been overturned:

- Charles Manson (CA)
- David Westerfield (CA)
- Scott Peterson (CA)
- Darlie Routier (TX)

There are people who have literally spent years (and in the case of Manson, decades) arguing these and many other cases.

The first three remain in prison correct? Manson, Westerfield and Peterson are absolutely where they belong.

Manson case is probably what started my interest in true crime - anybody remember Helter Skelter? Couldn't sleep after that book.

As for Routier - not familiar with that case.

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

Who had the power in the marriage? Who was locked out of the master bedroom?

Brad had the power.
Nancy locked herself IN ... at night out of fear for The Ruler.

I knew it ... Focus on NC.... and Brad very subtly is moved into being a victim, eh?

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

I think that if there's one thing that women of domestic violence need to understand ... it's that when their gut feeling says leave, it's time. They should not stay another day even to clean the dress.

I found it interesting that the motive put forth by the prosecution is that Brad got angry. Premeditated means he got so angry he thought about it for a couple of days and at noon on July 11, he tapped into the map and made a decision.

No, premeditation does not mean that. It can happen in the blink of an eye. And of course he had to be angry - he murdered his wife.

Mad, in fact. Escalate it to rage.

 

[Star12]

No, premeditation does not mean that. It can happen in the blink of an eye. And of course he had to be angry - he murdered his wife.

Mad, in fact. Escalate it to rage.

Murderous rage.

 

[cody100]

I see we are still going round and round over this case, verdict, spousal abuse. Amazing how we just can't let it go. Even those who say this is their last post. IMO, the BDIers still feel like having to defend the verdict, the BDDIers are still wanting to defend their opinion, and heck the rest of us just can't let it go for our own reasons. I personally didn't see anything in the deposition that sang out spousal abuse. I find the neighbors and friends seem to be mixed on their opinions on spousal abuse. It is hard to decipher where the spousal abuse was for me, but each person sees it differently. These two should not have been living together. All of this is MOO.

 

[cody100]

I think that if there's one thing that women of domestic violence need to understand ... it's that when their gut feeling says leave, it's time. They should not stay another day even to clean the dress.

I found it interesting that the motive put forth by the prosecution is that Brad got angry. Premeditated means he got so angry he thought about it for a couple of days and at noon on July 11, he tapped into the map and made a decision.

I agree completely. But domestic violence is not limited to husbands on wives. I say any spouse (male or female) who suspects spousal abuse should listen to their gut feelings.

 

[cody100]

Hi otto.

Firstly, I strongly suggest you urgently get those depo tapes, popcorn, flasks of hot chocolate ... and sit back and enjoy the evening's entertainment. It will floor you just as it did us, the majority of the world ... NC's family ... and a jury of 12 of his peers.

Secondly, you asked for examples of control prior to April 08.

I replied:

Why did he not sort her Greencard out when they arrived in USA? So that NC could work, feel at home - and not be an alien to the society he brought her to for 7 plus years?

Emphasis on ... ALIEN.

Can't do the hot chocolate with the popcorn. Could you be specific in the depo where you believe spousal abuse was shown? I am serious. I have reheard them, and I just don't see spousal abuse ringing out. I am not saying it is not there, but just don't know if my radar is down or not.

 

[Madeleine74]

You may not see it or understand it, but the NCCADV has outlined what domestic abuse and domestic violence consists of, and they consider the Cooper case an example of domestic abuse.

That group of 'gossiping friends' as some referred to them, have raised over $60,000 to help other women understand and leave controlling and violent situations. That was in NC. The Canadian chapter of NBF also raised over $60K. With Sat night's Gala, thousands more $$ were raised for the cause. At least some positive things have come from this tragedy.

 

[LAWsy_ME]

You may not see it or understand it, but the NCCADV has outlined what domestic abuse and domestic violence consists of, and they consider the Cooper case an example of domestic abuse.

That group of 'gossiping friends' as some referred to them, have raised over $60,000 to help other women understand and leave controlling and violent situations. That was in NC. The Canadian chapter of NBF also raised over $60K. With Sat night's Gala, thousands more $$ were raised for the cause. At least some positive things have come from this tragedy.

Hi Madeleine,
Wonderful news! Will you post a link for those who may want to donate?
Thanks!

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

Can't do the hot chocolate with the popcorn. Could you be specific in the depo where you believe spousal abuse was shown? I am serious. I have reheard them, and I just don't see spousal abuse ringing out. I am not saying it is not there, but just don't know if my radar is down or not.

oh Cody, I didn't sound the bugle and play The Last Post. I wrote "it's HIGH TIME I get outta here...". High time. Not "the time" Goes to show people read what they want to believe than what is actually written. But sure as the sun sets and rises ... on my last legs in here, friend.

1. Apropos the above, you've taken my post out of context.
Otto advised "skimming" through the records and not seeing the depo in full (unless I misconstrued otto's post).

2. My post above has *nothing* to do with spousal abuse, correct. Nor does the depo tapes mention it. We all *know* that. Rather, it's all to do with 7 hours odd of typical Bradspeak. Which translates to BS. Whenever he opens his mouth. We know when he's lying ------> his lips move.

3. There are no more BDDI and BDIs. He did it. Proven in a court of law. As for appeal? Don't see it, ever. Ever. In 10 years, Brad may be called Braid. Or ... Bradgette. But whatever he's called, he'll be looking over his shoulder the rest of his days.

Karma.

 

[cody100]

You may not see it or understand it, but the NCCADV has outlined what domestic abuse and domestic violence consists of, and they consider the Cooper case an example of domestic abuse.

That group of 'gossiping friends' as some referred to them, have raised over $60,000 to help other women understand and leave controlling and violent situations. That was in NC. The Canadian chapter of NBF also raised over $60K. With Sat night's Gala, thousands more $$ were raised for the cause. At least some positive things have come from this tragedy.

I both see it and understand it as well as commend NCCADV for its work. I understand that this was a homicide and BC has been found guilty. Ergo, this is domestice violence. No brainer on that part. My question to PSA was to detail what parts of the deposition were indications of spousal abuse by BC? Hopefully she will address that next time she is in the chat area.

 

[PolkSaladAnnie]

You may not see it or understand it, but the NCCADV has outlined what domestic abuse and domestic violence consists of, and they consider the Cooper case an example of domestic abuse.

That group of 'gossiping friends' as some referred to them, have raised over $60,000 to help other women understand and leave controlling and violent situations. That was in NC. The Canadian chapter of NBF also raised over $60K. With Sat night's Gala, thousands more $$ were raised for the cause. At least some positive things have come from this tragedy.

Wonderful update; correct - great news in the midst of all of this. Congrats and well done to those dedicated souls!