Found Deceased TN - Riley Strain, 22, missing after leaving bar, Nashville, 8 March 2024 #3

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NCWatcher said:
BBM

They may have had drinks before they left the hotel. We don't know. But the group also went to 4 bars-- RS had one alcoholic drink at the last bar--- Luke's. We know about the other bars from his family who have accessed his bank acct. I don't think we know how many alcoholic drinks he had in the other 3 bars. We do know RS face-timed with his mom at a bar earlier (before Luke's) around 7:30-8 pm. We also know he texted his mom about an alcoholic drink that "tasted funny, like barbeque" at one point. But according to the family, that wasn't while he was at Luke's. All those facts came out in the NewsNation appearance linked above (except for the face-timing. That was reported early on during the search.)

The other students may be worried they'll be blamed-- and they are probably right to worry. To some extent, they ARE being blamed. But RS was an adult. He was 22, probably one of the older people in the group. No one was forcing him to drink. And if the family can track where he went during the evening from looking at his bank acct, no one in the group was "giving him" those drinks.
MOO
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Agree with everything you said.

What got me “in the feels” was the part of them going to their formal the following night while the parents were searching, and they saw them.
Honestly, if those kids stayed and searched, I don’t think the family would be questioning them as much as they are.

I think it’s the lack of social grace and perceived lack of empathy for their roommate that just gives me a bad ick.
I get that they are frat boys, but there should be some basic modicum of decorum.
 
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housewife said:
I'm not surprised.
The Greek system attracts people who want to socialize and "party".
Guys in a fraternity aren't actually "brothers", why would Riley's family expect any more from them?

Do they really believe these guys bond like family just because they drink together and sleep in the same house?
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<Snipped for focus>

The majority of students in fraternities associated with our university can not be described as your generalization describes. Many students are attracted to the opportunities for leadership, community service and close friendships with their fraternity brothers both locally, nationally and internationally. The same with sororities, although we do know that many of the sororities also like to party, but at the same time they are young women who are also interested in leadership and community service. I think about Kaylee, Madison, and the other roommates who were all in sororities at the University of Idaho. Nice kids, even though they did their share of partying.
 
branmuffin said:
I'm just wondering what Riley's parents expected his frat buddies to do? If all of them were as intoxicated as Riley, I would think they'd be of little value; the blind leading the blind, so to speak. Having a bunch of drunk 20 and 21 years olds trying to provide lucid advice to someone as drunk as they were seems counterproductive in terms of administering advice. Perhaps one of them suggested he go to the bar across the street and we know how that turned out. Denied access, by himself, intoxicated, disoriented, and confused. Probably like a 100 other intoxicated people turfed from bars that night.

Just as parents believe their child will turn up, praying he'll turn up, they offer up words like, we're not mad, just come back and we'll sort it out. So why wouldn't a bunch of 20 and 21 year olds probably believe he got lucky, or he passed out somewhere and he'd turn up. And a part of them, because they are still young, also think it's better not to sound an alarm when they don't know what's going on so they wait 14 hours before they call the police. Was that 14 hour delay to ensure Riley was well and truly lost or a self preservation move to ensure their intoxicated status wouldn't have been an issue for their families and LE?

I really don't understand the parents negative attitude towards the rest of the entourage. All of them were drunk. All of them were lucky it didn't happen to them. And I'm sure their parents breathed a sigh of relief that their kid was safe and hopefully learned a lesson. Perhaps a scholarship in Riley's name would open the conversation rather than condemning his buddies for being survivors.
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Well said, IMO.
 
SMK777 said:
Snipped for focus:
I agree. They couldn’t see the outcome at that point. He was a 6 foot 7 adult male. The formal had been looked forward to for a year. I don’t believe they felt anything so awful as what we now know occurred in retrospect, was in the offing. MOO
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Was this a formal with dates? Didn’t his date wonder why he is a no-show? A lot of times the girls and boys going to a formal who know each other, make plans for photos together or drinks / dinner before the dance. Just surprised his unexplained absence didn’t set off bells and whistles when it came time to gather for the evening’s events. OMO.
 
LetsSolvIt said:
Was this a formal with dates? Didn’t his date wonder why he is a no-show? A lot of times the girls and boys going to a formal who know each other, make plans for photos together or drinks / dinner before the dance. Just surprised his unexplained absence didn’t set off bells and whistles when it came time to gather for the evening’s events. OMO.
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I think it was a brothers-only formal with no dates.
 
JerseyWasHome2 said:
I can certainly understand what you're describing above. If they last saw him around 9:30pm or whatever time it was, and they continued to party, were also very inebriated, it's very possible they returned to the hotel in the wee hours and immediately passed out themselves.

I'm not sure we ever learned of the hotel room situation - was he rooming with one or more guys? If he was, and they didn't wake up until 8 or 9am, that would account for 12 hours, and then of course they're not going to think right away that something bad happened after they woke up. If his bed didn't look slept in, as you said, maybe they thought he hooked up with a girl in another bar.

What does bother me regarding his fellow travelers is that they haven't really been in communication with his parents. Even if they have nothing more to offer than what they already know about the event in the bar, surely they'd want to reach out to them!! They could certainly provide details into his state of mind/drunkenness, if he had planned to go elsewhere, if he knew his way back to the hotel, etc. This article touches on that:

According to Gilbert, none of Riley’s fraternity brothers have reached out to the family following Riley’s disappearance and death.

“We haven’t spoke with them. We haven’t really heard that much from them. They’re the ones that was with Riley that night, the last night he was with us. There’s a lot of things we’d like to find out from them,” Gilbert said.

countryrebel.com

Riley Strain's Father Says Family Hasn't Heard From His Fraternity Brothers

In an interview a month after Riley Strain's disappearance, his father shared that the frat brothers Riley was last with haven't reached out.
countryrebel.com countryrebel.com
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Do we know if any of them came to his funeral?

We live in such a litigious society — I can imagine them being advised by frat admin, the college, their parents and/or counsel not to speak to or contact Riley’s family, but I don’t see how a signed $3 sympathy card from CVS could cause the frat brothers any potential liability and it would be a thoughtful gesture for Riley’s parents. OMO.

Maybe you legal / LE types might have different thoughts?

Added: Someone mentioned the boys not knowing what to say or do because of age and inexperience. That’s why I would think parents might have suggested buying and sending a card — no composition needed. That said, these young men are also probably totally dumbfounded. What a shock and wake-up call! People that age never think tragedy or death will happen to them or someone they know. I bet several of them go home this summer and star at the wall for three months. OMO
 
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Universecalling said:
This is what I don’t understand.
Why wasn’t the video from the club released? I think I remember seeing that tge family opted not to release it because it may have not portrayed RS in the best light.

Knowing they’re searching for answers and every bit helps, the bar video could have generated more tips. It certainly could have gotten the public’s attention. Every one of those kids that was there that night would have played it on TMZ, if for nothing, but to see if they’re on it. Maybe it would have jogged someone’s memory.
What is so bad on it that it wasn’t released?

I don’t know if this is driven by their faith or conservative upbringing, and I notice that families such as Riley’s and Caleb’s seem reserved about certain information being shared or discussed w the public.
MOO
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who's Caleb?
 
NCWatcher said:
But a little over a month ago, a few days before RS's body was found, this was said:

"The fraternity brothers who were with Riley Strain on the night he vanished in Nashville, Tennessee, are "heartbroken" as the search for the 22-year-old continues, Strain's mother said.

"We love these boys like our own," Strain's mom, Michelle Whiteid, said through tears at a news conference Tuesday. "It's just as hard on them as it is on us."

Riley Strain's fraternity brothers 'heartbroken' as search in Nashville continues, his mom says

Things certainly seem to have changed since then. But the mom and stepdad did know the brothers went to the formal the night after RS went missing. They knew it at the time because they say they saw them in formal wear.

nypost.com

Riley Strain’s parents slam his frat brothers for continuing to party after he went missing: ‘Appalling’

Michelle Whiteid and her husband, Chris, described how the members of the Delta Chi fraternity waited until the following afternoon to alert police of Strain’s disappearance, and then went to their…
nypost.com nypost.com

So while we are just finding out, that's not something the family just found out. I'm not sure what changed for the family re: the fraternity brothers. I guess the family was in shock initially? And when shock wears off, there's more intense pain. And more what-ifs. And blame.

I feel sorry for the family. But even if the fraternity brothers aren't worried about liability (or even just ordinary blame) people that age aren't always skilled at expressing sympathy for a death. Actually people of many ages aren't and may worry about saying the "wrong thing" so they say nothing.
MOO
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I know exactly what you mean. I worked with a woman who couldn't even be around a fellow worker who lost a child. She avoided her like the plague because she didn't know what to say. I don't know how the bereaved woman interpreted her behavior but it must have been bewildering and hurtful.
 
branmuffin said:
I'm just wondering what Riley's parents expected his frat buddies to do? If all of them were as intoxicated as Riley, I would think they'd be of little value; the blind leading the blind, so to speak. Having a bunch of drunk 20 and 21 years olds trying to provide lucid advice to someone as drunk as they were seems counterproductive in terms of administering advice. Perhaps one of them suggested he go to the bar across the street and we know how that turned out. Denied access, by himself, intoxicated, disoriented, and confused. Probably like a 100 other intoxicated people turfed from bars that night.

Just as parents believe their child will turn up, praying he'll turn up, they offer up words like, we're not mad, just come back and we'll sort it out. So why wouldn't a bunch of 20 and 21 year olds probably believe he got lucky, or he passed out somewhere and he'd turn up. And a part of them, because they are still young, also think it's better not to sound an alarm when they don't know what's going on so they wait 14 hours before they call the police. Was that 14 hour delay to ensure Riley was well and truly lost or a self preservation move to ensure their intoxicated status wouldn't have been an issue for their families and LE?

I really don't understand the parents negative attitude towards the rest of the entourage. All of them were drunk. All of them were lucky it didn't happen to them. And I'm sure their parents breathed a sigh of relief that their kid was safe and hopefully learned a lesson. Perhaps a scholarship in Riley's name would open the conversation rather than condemning his buddies for being survivors.
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I don’t know what info the frat bros would even have. We already know he was drinking. We already know from the video tape that neither a stranger (who could’ve roofied him and killed him) or the frat bros (who would’ve known how he got into the water) followed him. So I don’t think they would have any evidence of why Riley ended up in the river. I haven’t seen one thing that’s made me rethink my original idea—he got drunk and tragically & accidentally fell into the river and drowned. And maybe the frat bros should’ve not gone to the formal. I think he was already dead by the time they got back to the hotel so noticing/reporting him missing earlier probably would’ve have still been too late. They couldn’t hang around town for days/weeks as they had finals to take. I do feel sympathy for the family but I don’t think they’re going to get the answers that they want.
 
branmuffin said:
I'm just wondering what Riley's parents expected his frat buddies to do?
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What they realistically could expect was probably about what they got, considering the friends were so young and lacking in life experience and were possibly feeling denial, guilt, or both.

But the heart and soul of parents whose son went missing would be expecting, begging, for more -- help us find him, please reach out and talk to us, because you're literally the only ones who know what led to him going missing.

The friends are actually the only ones who can give them all of the information they need. And as the last people with him were almost the last people who could have helped him. Even if it wasn't actually realistic that they did anything differently that night.

But I can see how their hearts expect more, because grief makes the realistic ways of the world just feel...wrong.
 
Sundog said:
I thought it was a formal with dates and that a fraternity member could bring a date/friend if he wanted to as long as he paid for the guest's hotel and formal/dance event.

ETA jmo
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There were girls there as dates. The hotel guests mentioned the activity in the halls late that evening/morning over someone hurting their arm. My son's formals usually have the option of brining a date. Out of his 4 he only brought one date and it was his girlfriend at the time.
 
Okay back in the day, when i went out in downtown Nashville, we really avoided leaving each other alone. We were from there and knew where we were going, but hello crime exists. So, we stuck together.

If guys were sober, people didn't worry so much about them because men weren't usually attacked. We were of similar age although most of us had graduated college (so, we were 22).

I guess his family expected his frat brothers or at least one of them to stick with him and maybe be sober enough to know they need to go back up to 10th Avenue and not go down by the river.

Nashville is dangerous. Walk in pairs. Know where you're going. It's not hard if you're mostly going to places right off Broadway because Broadway is a huge street with lots of people.
 
mzmarymac said:
I literally no nothing at all about this case in terms of personal knowledge. I do know a kid that is in the frat thought (younger than Riley so they may not even really know each other that well) but I do know his mom posted the story on her Facebook and asked for prayers. So it doesn't really tell us anything other than at least one of the young men did care enough to alert his mom about it. I have to admit that I am absolutely shocked to learn they still went to the formal that evening. I realize that everything is paid for in advance and they really had no idea where he was, but I would imagine not hearing from him for almost 24 hours should have you worried enough that you would cancel everything and go help search for him. I wonder if they were told by their leadership that they had to go to the formal? And what was the formal like? I don't know. Were they partying like nothing happened, or were they gathered to discuss the case?

Also, this said, young guys out at a bar and one "disappears" is not typically a cause for alarm, even if the guy is hammered. You think, maybe he met a girl, maybe he fell asleep on a bench somewhere, maybe he got arrested, maybe he crashed in another room, a million different options. I don't find it alarming that they didn't call authorities. I am sure they got home late (3:00 or something like that?) and passed out cold. They probably slept late and it took a while to realize that he was gone. And quite honestly, I can see the guys just thinking, hey, he's a grown man, he's 6'7", he can take care of himself.

Like I said, I literally know nothing personally about what happened to Riley other than that one loose connection I have, but I get a bit sensitive when I hear all of the trash talking going on in comments (other not here) about frats. Yes, I realize that some frats have had some issues, but my son is in a frat and while they definitely like to party, they are good-hearted kids, usually great students and do a lot of philanthropy as well. So while I don't want to throw them all under the bus, as they aren't meant to be a grown man's babysitter, I would still like to understand why they all chose to go to the formal after all of this.
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Boys/young men IMO are clearly different than girls/young women when it comes to comraderie,loyalty and friendship, etc. Sometimes boys and girls are better friends. Again, IMO, there is no excuse for the other guys letting him leave on his own to just wander. Especially if these guys were like fsmily??? At least get him to the door and get him a ride. All of this still stinks! Don't know why or how but it just does.
 
Universecalling said:
Agree with everything you said.

What got me “in the feels” was the part of them going to their formal the following night while the parents were searching, and they saw them.
Honestly, if those kids stayed and searched, I don’t think the family would be questioning them as much as they are.

I think it’s the lack of social grace and perceived lack of empathy for their roommate that just gives me a bad ick.
I get that they are frat boys, but there should be some basic modicum of decorum.
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Did the fraterniy have representation at the funeral?? Anyone attend? I agree that being in a fraternity for just 4 or so years from 18-22years is not always forever friends. A lot of ego, testosterone, etc. Did he have friends from high school who he might have communicated with who either stayed local or went to another college. Does anyone find it strange that he texted and face timed his mother??
 
I find it a little odd that he texted and FT’d his mother. I was in a sorority and I have known lots of fraternity boys. I would think that at an out of town function with drinking, the last person they’d be thinking about is mother…JMO
 
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