Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #3

[Margo/Mom]

I have debated if I was willing to share this here but I feel as I must. This week I have developed a huge amount of empathy for the mom. I was quick to judge on too little info.

You see see day before yesterday morning we had a bit of drama her in my home. Some of you have seen me mention my 11 yr old daughter who is autistic and developmentally delayed. Well, my husband left for work at 6:15 Wed morning and Katie and I were still asleep. I had been up with her for her nightly wake up from around 3-5. The best I can tell she must have awakened shortly after he left. She has become quite stealthy of late but this time topped the cake. She managed to get out of the house and wandered off. (We have her twin bed between his bed and my hospital bed to prevent her getting up unsupervised) Not before evidently rolling in the wet grass in 50 degree weather. She was found at a restaurant nearby and the man mowing the lawn there called the police. She was able to tell the police her name but that was all except when he asked where she lived she said North.( I am assuming the North Pole) So after driving her around and she couldn’t identify a house he took her to the local emergency room. Some how police dispatch was able to match her to my husbands cell number (I will never guess how) and called him at work. He tried to call me but she had turned the ringer off on my phone. So at 8 am he runs into the house a wakes me up to tell me she is at the hospital. I knew it would waste valuable time if I tried to get dressed and him help me get to the car with my wheelchair so I just told him to go. I knew what he would be facing when he got there and it wasn’t going to be pretty. At first the police and Doctor tried to claim that she had been out all night because she was in her nightgown(at 8 in the morning). Then they wouldn’t let him see her until DSS/DHS arrived. The police interrogated him then DSS took their turn. Then the police came her to interrogate me and then swapped places with DSS. They kept telling him she wasn’t coming home with him. They started telling me if she was allowed to come home there would be requirements we would have to agree to. I home school her for several reasons and am licensed through the state as a school. The said I would have to put her in public school. Then asked if I would refuse to put her in public school. Of course I responded that if it was the only way I could get her home I would enroll her but, if it was my choice as was my legal right as her parent I would continue homeschooling. Duh.

Once she she left I called my husband back at the hospital and he was finally with our daughter. We sat spastically for the hour or two and waited, At nearly 3 pm he called me and said they were on their way home together. Just before leaving the police told him he had originally intended to arrest him. With no stipulations except to add another lock to the 2 already on the door she escaped through. At that point I was ready to put a stockade bar across the door anyway. Today the social worker just popped in unannounced to check for the new lock (which was on the door within an hour of her arrival home.)

So as long as the mom is not a poi with LE she has my empathy. I had a reminder of just how quickly things can go south. Perhaps they were like my husband and I when he has two days off in a row I take a sleeping pill and he does the night shift with her. That way I can catch up on my rest from being up with her every night for the 3 am party. We have medicated her and nothing stops the 3 am party.

90% of autistic children bolt at least once but until it happens you believe it won’t happen to you. As many safeguards as we had in place it still happened and I was terrified. I still am. How easily it could have been much worse. How easily they could have taken her away. She was close to traffic when she was found. It could have been deadly. I know haw serious it was. I am now afraid to sleep. She thinks she had a grande adventure. She rode in a police car, they gave her toys at the hospital and everyone made over her like a little princess she has no concept of the danger. I do

Thank you. I am an adoptive parent, and before my children were grown I had a lot of contact with other adoptive parents, many of whom were raising a broad spectrum of very interesting children. Sometimes the agencies that one might think should be available for support, see "help" as moving the children somewhere else. Never mind that we were all parenting children who came to us with the warranties voided, as I used to think. Because we were there, were frequently suspect when things went wrong.

The other thing that many of us learn is that children bond with parents--even parents who look undeserving. Adoption is a mixed blessing for our children as it seals off a part of their life in which they bonded to a bio parent. The Mathews sibling has just lost all contact with her family. Adults may have all kinds of opinions about those family members, but they have been her whole world. Now CPS and a judge must make a decision about what to do. Not easy stuff.

 

[i8mypaint]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...204408&fs=5&ref=m_notif&notif_t=group_comment

14:41 the newscaster says there might be an arrest soon.... I don’t live in TX but It’s Steve eager.

Mods I believe this is allowed because it’s a news channel, but please delete if not


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[DakotaMayi]

We have no evidence of what actually transpired that night but this is a theory that has been rattling around in my head.

I have wondered if whatever happened in the wee hours of that fateful morning didn’t start with a bed wetting incident. That would account for 3 am laundry and the pimk t-shirt, pink fitted sheet and pink blanket taken with the search warrant. While stripping the bed she may have wanted a drink then refused the “milk” perhaps he thought about sending her to the tree while he re-made the bed but things escalated. Maybe he did send her to the tree and after making the bed he brought her in to strip her urine soaked pj’s. Perhaps giving her a quick bath. Maybe she spilled the milk or poured it in the floor during the refusal. Absolutely normal things that go on with a 3 year old but magnified by the time of day and her being limited verbally. Dad was tired and frustrated and not happy it was his turn on the night duty.

I know some nights I am so exhausted I have literally begged my Katie to go back to sleep. He worked in IT at the Citi Group and IT work is precise, exact logical and methodical. Raising children especially those with special needs are not. They don’t follow the developmental schedule. Or the parents schedule. Whereas I believe the older girl progressed on or before the average times. Special needs children can be much more negotiation than expectation, small victories instead of celebrated goals. Since my Katie’s adventure she has wet the bed every night. With special needs children it is easy to regress from time to time due to stress or sometimes the reason isn’t apparent. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking and in our case it is easy to forget how delayed she really is until we are around other children her age or developmental level.

With Sherin the 4 year old was a daily reminder of her issues. In Kerala where the Dad is from and some have said the mom is also there is a 100% literacy. It is an area we’re excellence is not only expected demanded. They have a larger percentage of professionals than many other areas of India. That has to play into the parents expectations for Sherin. Even small delays could seem huge. Dad could take those delays as his own personal failure. I am not trying to justify what happened to this sweet baby and worse what we believe happened. I am trying to find something that might explain how it went so far.

JMHO and Theory of the moment.

BBM.
I like your intricate thinking and appreciate your posts.

So do you think that after Sherin potentially refused the milk, he snapped within in the home and her killed her accidentally? As opposed to a planned and thought out murder?

 

[DakotaMayi]

Thank you. I am an adoptive parent, and before my children were grown I had a lot of contact with other adoptive parents, many of whom were raising a broad spectrum of very interesting children. Sometimes the agencies that one might think should be available for support, see "help" as moving the children somewhere else. Never mind that we were all parenting children who came to us with the warranties voided, as I used to think. Because we were there, were frequently suspect when things went wrong.

The other thing that many of us learn is that children bond with parents--even parents who look undeserving. Adoption is a mixed blessing for our children as it seals off a part of their life in which they bonded to a bio parent. The Mathews sibling has just lost all contact with her family. Adults may have all kinds of opinions about those family members, but they have been her whole world. Now CPS and a judge must make a decision about what to do. Not easy stuff.

BBM.

What does everyone think will happen at Mondays court appearance? The verdict I mean. I'm not familiar with this and wondered how people think it will be played out and what the result will be.

 

[Gumbeaux]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...204408&fs=5&ref=m_notif&notif_t=group_comment

14:41 the newscaster says there might be an arrest soon.... I don’t live in TX but It’s Steve eager.

Mods I believe this is allowed because it’s a news channel, but please delete if not


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The new clip is 2 days old....fingers crossed that it is soon.

 

[i8mypaint]

The new clip is 2 days old....fingers crossed that it is soon.

Yeah... I hope we see something soon


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[DakotaMayi]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...204408&fs=5&ref=m_notif&notif_t=group_comment

14:41 the newscaster says there might be an arrest soon.... I don’t live in TX but It’s Steve eager.

Mods I believe this is allowed because it’s a news channel, but please delete if not


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for posting this, paint.
Another sleuther kindly notified me of this the other day... then when there were no arrests I forgot to post! :doh:

 

[Gigglingtoes]

Maybe one of them is having an affair? There was a case in Ontario Canada - husband and neighbor were having an affair and killed the wife to pursue relationship..

If hes having an affair, fine, but I dont see this having to do with Sherin missing. JMO.

 

[Gigglingtoes]

Not all parents assist their children. It seems the Mathews might be looking at financial issues.



http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2017/10/19/missing-richardson-girl-parents-legal-battle/

Does it say on the documents his insurance company AND his name?
Might be suing his insurance company for the full amount of his policy value on an expensive SUV.

 

[Grouchymom]

BBM.
I like your intricate thinking and appreciate your posts.

So do you think that after Sherin potentially refused the milk, he snapped within in the home and her killed her accidentally? As opposed to a planned and thought out murder?

I do at this point. I think he just lost he temper and struck out. I just haven’t seen anything presented at this point to show a real premeditation. Perhaps with more evidence I could change that. My first instinct was a sexual abuse gone wrong but with what we know now (or don’t know) I think things got out of hand. I truly believe if this had been preplanned he would have come up with something better than the milk/tree story which can land him in the gray bar hotel/the big house/the slammer for up to 20 years. Even if he didn’t imagine such a long sentence was possible surely he knew he could get a prison sentence when he added the coyotes to the mix. That was definitely a spur of the moment bad idea.

 

[DakotaMayi]

I do at this point. I think he just lost he temper and struck out. I just haven’t seen anything presented at this point to show a real premeditation. Perhaps with more evidence I could change that. My first instinct was a sexual abuse gone wrong but with what we know now (or don’t know) I think things got out of hand. I truly believe if this had been preplanned he would have come up with something better than the milk/tree story which can land him in the gray bar hotel/the big house/the slammer for up to 20 years. Even if he didn’t imagine such a long sentence was possible surely he knew he could get a prison sentence when he added the coyotes to the mix. That was definitely a spur of the moment bad idea.

Agreed. Thank you.

I cannot comment if anything happened in that home prior to 10/7 but this particular event was not planned.

 

[Gigglingtoes]

Nah, those ol' Texas LE boys (and gals) are sharp as they come. Rather than blindly believing, I'd say "strategically aligning" with....

This.
Love this and you.

 

[Grouchymom]

BBM.

What does everyone think will happen at Mondays court appearance? The verdict I mean. I'm not familiar with this and wondered how people think it will be played out and what the result will be.

This is a routine first hearing since the child was taken and since essentially nothing has changed since she was taken into custody I will be surprised if anything were to change at this hearing. I suspect they will give time for DSS/DPS/DFACS/DHS to create the ‘permanency plan” and set a quick review in 30 days. This would ensure LE can interview her as necessary and get her set up with some counseling. She would have had an I take physical exam to rule in/out precious abuse. Additionally there is no way putting her in the middle of the media circus would be in the best interest of the child. I understand no one wants to see children in foster care but it can be a safe harbor under the right circumstances. I am not familiar with the reputation of the foster care system in Dallas County but until there is more clarity on what happened to Sherin the judge would be within his/her rights to assume a family placement could put her in danger. Also, they will not place her with family or friends until home studies and background checks can be done. I believe we will see them keep the status quo for at least 30 more days possibly with an order to start some familial home studies based on my years of experience as a foster parent / adoptive parent and Guardian ad Litem volunteer/Casa. JMHO

 

[DakotaMayi]

Thunderstorms heading Richardson's way tonight That poor little baby is out there somewhere

 

[Gigglingtoes]

This is a routine first hearing since the child was taken and since essentially nothing has changed since she was taken into custody I will be surprised if anything were to change at this hearing. I suspect they will give time for DSS/DFACS/DHS to create the ‘permanency plan” and set a quick review in 30 days. This would ensure LE can interview her as necessary and get her set up with some counseling. She would have had an I take physical exam to rule in/out precious abuse. Additionally there is no way putting her in the middle of the media circus would be in the best interest of the child. I understand no one wants to see children in foster care but it can be a safe harbor under the right circumstances. I am not familiar with the reputation of the foster care system in Dallas County but until there is more clarity on what happened to Sherin the judge would be within his/her rights to assume a family placement could put her in danger. Also, they will not place her with family or friends until home studies and background checks can be done. I believe we will see them keep the status quo for at least 30 more days possibly with an order to start some familial home studies based on my years of experience as a foster parent / adoptive parent and guardian ad liter volunteer/Casa. JMHO

I said this and got creamed for it.

Glad someone else feels the same :couch:

 

[DakotaMayi]

I said this and got creamed for it.

Glad someone else feels the same :couch:

I'm right behind both you and grouchymom on this one.

 

[Grouchymom]

I said this and got creamed for it.

Glad someone else feels the same :couch:

As you see I agree with you. It alone would not be enough to meet the legal standard of continued custody, but it has to be looked at as an additional or complicating factor. Social services is supposed to be governed by one cardinal rule (the best interest of the child) but family reunification has become its mantra. The best interest of the child however usually gets lost in the system somewhere so it becomes the responsibility of the child advocate/Guardian ad Litem/CASA to speak only for the child and his/her best interest.

 

[MarisaS1985]

Since this is the first case I have ever follow from beginning to end on WS, just wondering what happens if they find her or make an arrest? Do we continue to chat in this threat and gather facts and info as it comes or is it "case closed" on here once she is found?

 

[Riice]

With Sherin the 4 year old was a daily reminder of her issues. In Kerala where the Dad is from and some have said the mom is also there is a 100% literacy. It is an area we’re excellence is not only expected demanded. They have a larger percentage of professionals than many other areas of India. That has to play into the parents expectations for Sherin. Even small delays could seem huge. Dad could take those delays as his own personal failure. I am not trying to justify what happened to this sweet baby and worse what we believe happened. I am trying to find something that might explain how it went so far.

JMHO and Theory of the moment.

Sorry my phone is not good for quoting.. the above was something Grouchymom stated... Excellence in India is demanded everywhere and not just limited to Kerala.. getting into good schools is hard..suicide rates are high among young adults because of competition and demand for excellence.. orphanages are full of children with special needs.. and "othe defects".. it is a very intense culture. .

 

[Riice]

If hes having an affair, fine, but I dont see this having to do with Sherin missing. JMO.

In reference to posters of sherin being torn up.. could be an illicit partner not wanting attention to the matter