UK - Actor Kevin Spacey accused of making sexual advances, 12 charges against 4 boys *acquitted in 2023*

[JaneEyre]

Now we're splitting hairs. I said that the first step to healing is reporting, but apparently there has been an assumption regarding what that means. Reporting the experience to a parent, a friend, a therapist, an official all fall under the category of 'reporting'. It almost seems like there is argument for the sake of argument, where something that is not said is argued as having been said.
'

No, that is confiding. Reporting implies talking to the authorities or someone else in a position to hold that person responsible (such as a boss 9r a principal, depending on the situation). No one ever says, I reported this to my mom, my boyfriend, my therapist. And I think you that, how we use those terms.

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[otto]

In the mental health field, reporting is mainly connected to notification to authorities. If what you meant is disclosure, then I can agree that processing through and addressing the issue is part of the journey. When we talk about adults who begin to deal with prior acts of abuse, the first step is a determination that they want to heal and seeing that dealing with their past abuse is essential in the healing.

We can agree to disagree on what it means to report. A child who has been victimized should report that incident in order to begin the healing process. No one expects that child to directly notify authorities, and it is absurd to narrow the definition of the term "report" in order to create an argument.

 

[kaen]

We can agree to disagree on what it means to report. A child who has been victimized should report that incident in order to begin the healing process. No one expects that child to directly notify authorities, and it is absurd to narrow the definition of the term "report" in order to create an argument.

I guess you find it important to split hairs or feel that the word "reporting" is the only way to see it. I also stated that there could be confusion above but, hey.... FYI, no therapist I know calls disclosure reporting. When I work with children who disclose abuse to me, I make it known that I must report the disclosure to the authorities as it is a part of my code of ethics and the law requires. I try to keep it clean and clear.

 

[Poppyflower]

In this context I think of reporting as telling the police what happened.

I wouldn't ever say, "I reported to my mom/therapist/friend that I was raped.". I would say, "I told my mom/therapist/friend that I was raped.".

I would say, "I reported it to the police that I was raped." Literally, because they are going to take a report of what happened, on their report sheet. I would hope my bff wouldn't do that.

I believe these to be different terms with different meanings. If someone doesn't, then it shows another indifference to survivors.

 

[human]

Children often do not “report”. It may be discovered at the doctor’s office. Abnormal bleeding. Unexplained pain. STD.

Or an informed adult may notice behavior such as wearing multiple layers of clothing or advanced sexual knowledge.

Or the adult may get caught in the act.

Children are threatened with dire consequences by the abuser so reporting is hardly ever an option

 

[bluesneakers]

When my car was broken into I told my neighbors and reported it to the police. When my neighbors asked me, after I told them, "Did you report it?" I knew they meant had I reported it to the police, not had I told other people about it. It's very obvious what the difference is.

 

[otto]

I guess you find it important to split hairs or feel that the word "reporting" is the only way to see it. I also stated that there could be confusion above but, hey.... FYI, no therapist I know calls disclosure reporting. When I work with children who disclose abuse to me, I make it known that I must report the disclosure to the authorities as it is a part of my code of ethics and the law requires. I try to keep it clean and clear.

Surely there is understanding of my use of the term now, right?

 

[kaen]

Surely there is understanding of my use of the term now, right?

Yes, I understand your use of the word but I find it to be an inaccurate use. But, I guess that is your perogative.

 

[otto]

Yes, I understand your use of the word but I find it to be an inaccurate use. But, I guess that is your perogative.

I like the word re-telling as well. Disclosing is a term more commonly found in law. Interesting that we're back to strident education.

 

[kaen]

Back to Spacey, I wonder if the employees at HOC will pursue criminal or civil remedies for what they accuse Spacey of? Some of the allegations definitely are in the files of HOC and the production company. My stomach turned as I read this article from the Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/enterta...npacking-the-kevin-spacey-allegations/544685/).

 

[kaen]

I like the word re-telling as well. Disclosing is a term more commonly found in law. Interesting that we're back to strident education.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/28/when-you-disclose-too-much-in-therapy/

Too funny that you use the term strident education...JMHO.

 

[anonypotomous]

Back to Spacey, I wonder if the employees at HOC will pursue criminal or civil remedies for what they accuse Spacey of? Some of the allegations definitely are in the files of HOC and the production company. My stomach turned as I read this article from the Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/enterta...npacking-the-kevin-spacey-allegations/544685/).

Thank you for getting the thread back on track.


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[otto]

I'm not convinced there's much more to say about the subject. Kevin Spacey has been exposed, he career is over, and the only point left to determine is whether he broke the law.

 

[kaen]

The former employee criticised the Old Vic for appearing not to know what was happening. “The thing that really upsets me is the hypocrisy of places like the Old Vic that pretend now that they didn’t know. ”

Rebecca Gooden was an intern at the theatre in 2010 and says stories about Spacey’s behaviour were commonplace.

She said she was told that “pretty” young men were not hired to work in the theatre administration following an earlier incident. “There was a running ‘joke’ about it,” she said. “I was informed that I was not allowed to talk about it outside the theatre. I am honestly sickened that the theatre has chosen to plead ignorance.”



https://www.theguardian.com/culture...of-ignoring-sexual-misconduct-by-kevin-spacey

 

[kaen]

The actor splashed out £50,000 to charter the 150ft yacht the weekend before Netflix announced they would not release his new film — costing him millions
EXCLUSIVE
By Nick Pisa, Ravello, Italy
This was last weekend---

5th November 2017, 3:26 amUpdated: 5th November 2017, 3:26 am
SLEAZY Kevin Spacey held a wild party with 11 men on a super-yacht while filming in Italy, The Sun on Sunday can reveal.

He splashed out £50,000 on chartering the 150ft Highlander for a weekend before Netflix announced they would not release his new film — costing him millions.

Kevin Spacey held a wild party with 11 men on a super-yacht while filming in Italy
Spacey, 58, set off from Ravello, on the Amalfi coast, during a break from shooting Gore, a movie about gay novelist Gore Vidal.

His guests included two masseurs. He had earlier begged one for sex while standing naked.

A source said: “Spacey wanted a massage and asked around Ravello. My friend was mentioned and jumped at the chance.

“When Spacey appeared he was naked. My friend was shocked and told him to get dressed."

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/48452...-men-on-a-super-yacht-while-filming-in-italy/

 

[kaen]

Awesome father:

Richard Dreyfuss ✔@RichardDreyfuss
I love my son @harrydreyfuss more than I could explain with all the words in the world. And I am so incredibly proud of him right now. [video=twitter;926921864139517953]https://twitter.com/harrydreyfuss/status/926921864139517953[/video] …
7:34 PM - Nov 4, 2017
692 692 Replies 7,751 7,751 Retweets 44,719 44,719 likes

 

[JaneEyre]

I'm not convinced there's much more to say about the subject. Kevin Spacey has been exposed, he career is over, and the only point left to determine is whether he broke the law.

There actually is more to say because the problem still exists in Hollywood and elsewhere. As a society, we need to talk about why, and what can be done about it. The public has a responsibility to learn from these events and figure out how to make it less likely this will happen in the future. Part of that is discussing how we react to the victims when they come forward. The general public is part of the problem because they often end up victimizing the survivors further.

Last year after another highly publicized rape, I asked a general question of parents on my Facebook page: "Have any of you discussed what rape is, and that no means no every time?" Because most people talk to their daughters about safety, while fewer parents talk to their sons about what date rape and harassment are. The responsibility has largely been on the girls to avoid rape. (I do realize this is not a strictly male/female thing here, but that was the topic at the time.) This began a discussion among my friends - how and when to do it. It was quite uplifting, and I think they helped each other as parents.

That's just one small thing that can be done. But there is lots of work to be done, and we should all be engaging in that conversation.

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[Poppyflower]

Awesome father:

Richard Dreyfuss ✔@RichardDreyfuss
I love my son @harrydreyfuss more than I could explain with all the words in the world. And I am so incredibly proud of him right now.

:loveyou: So sweet!

I wish everyone had support like this after a life-changing, traumatic experience.

 

[anonypotomous]

This is getting tedious. I’ll check back when it’s about Spacey.

Perhaps we can start a forum where we all give our opinions about what defines harassment/feminism/assault/reporting, etc so it doesn’t clog up the news threads. Not being snarky, perhaps a forum where we can discuss the crimes in general.




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[rsd1200]

Rape on a minor or anyone else, never was and never will be acceptable behavior.

Sexual misconduct on a minor or anyone else, never was and never will be acceptable behavior.

Sexual harassment on a minor or anyone else, never was and never will be acceptable behavior.

Shocked, but not shocked that this still needs to be said. Wth is happening? It isn't ok for people to touch you when you don't want them to. PERIOD. EVER. IN ALL OF HISTORY and present day.

If you do not feel this way, we need you to WAKE UP. People are being hurt out there! We need it to stop! Being sexually and physically assaulted changes peoples lives for the worse. It is very difficult to get over. It scars our being. We need people who don't understand this to start and try their best to understand this. We need your help the most so that there are less victims and less victim bashing. This will help people to report these crimes and not stay silent. Without you, it is going to be a lot slower.

Most humans don't want other humans to be in emotional and physical pain.

While I agree with you, there will be some folks who will take it to the grave. For whatever reason, it is their reason. I'd never fault someone for that.