OK before I watch the video again I want to hone in on one thing that was very apparent to me. I do think it has extreme significance as to SW's character especially since he has now accused HER of murdering her children.
SW states that PRIOR to being diagnosed with lupus (at 25) she had already gone through a rough divorce and was feeling low. Needing to build back up her confidence she worked her butt off and managed to save enough money to purchase her own house.
**** This is important information when considering who was SW? So her marriage fails, she feels like crap and needs to find a way to rebuild her life as the road she was on got detoured. She claims it was a good relationship that went bad. Possible or maybe not. She never gives her age for when she married nor ex-hubby's age either. We know she was young, how young was he? Why does it matter? It does because what her expectations were when she married so young would give a glimpse into the direction she was steering her life in. Was he a professional older guy, was he just older and had a decent job, owned his own home etc. Did he come from money? Was he just a young kid too perhaps highschool sweethearts that outgrew each other and it ended badly?
**** After her marriage ended and she is building her life back up she wants to feel like she is achieving something. Understandable. Not saying this is the case but often divorced women in MY time beyond dealing with the emotion and pain caused by a break up, there are other factors as well. $$ and lifestyle's often changed drastically after divorce especially if the husband had either already established himself prior to meeting or did so during the marriage...a home purchased, cars etc. They had no children so their disposable income had to have gone somewhere. Did her lifestyle change so much so that it bothered her. I just find it curious that her goal became purchasing a home to build back her self esteem. Why? Did she lose a home during divorce and having that happen made her feel she was not an accomplished person without him? That might motivate me.
However it went that home purchase was HUGE for her. She even states how hard she worked and how proud she was that she was able to do it all on her own. Absolutely, 1000% credit there. Shows absolute dedication and willingness to work hard to achieve her goals which leads me to another conclusion. I do not know her parents financial status but it seems very apparent to me that a solid work ethic was already instilled in her PRIOR to her ever joining THRIVE. This was a deep seated habit of hers that only comes as a result of being taught it by example from her parents, having it further encouraged by her parents and believing she had the ability and power to do achieve this so she made it a goal...she totally achieved it.
**** Even more revealing is what she mentions happened to her after her lupus diagnoses. She already had her house. She is basically on top of the world and motivated. Her future ON HER OWN looks bright. Then bam, she finds out she has this very serious issue. She then goes on to describe what a hard time she had with it AND how difficult it was to be diagnosed with something that others basically can't see. Autoimmune disease gives is within your entire body. It isn't like heart disease or emphasema where someone suffering will have visable symptoms such as shortness of breath, heart pain where someone might hold their chest etc and these type of illness don't necessarily result in you losing sleep due to pain. You take your pills or oxygen and soon you feel some sort of relief and can carry on. NOT the case with autoimmune diseases such as lupus. You can literally have nights where you do not sleep a single minute. I have such a problem so I learned to force myself to remain laying down and keep my eyes closed so in the very least, there is some form of rest all though no recuperative sleep. That had to have happened to her at one point or another.
****Her full explanation leads me to believe her coworkers, boss etc were not very sympathetic to her during this time and actually gossipped about or questioned if she was really ill or not and just making it up. Oh it happens. I've had several people INCLUDING doctors that should know better suggest to me it was all in my mind. This happened especially in my early years as I had RLS since age 5 and my mom was taking me from doctor to doctor. I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at 5. I do not think that was a proper diagnoses
but it was what was given and I basically was told to live with it and take baby aspirin which gave me zero relief from the pain. So SW says she quit her job basically because she could not work the hours she had before. A job she states that she had for 9 years. This is VERY good evidence of her character and great work ethic. If she was diagnosed at 25 and left a job she had for 9 years that means she started at 16. I don't know many 16 year olds making big bucks. So was she promoted often during this time frame, work her way up if you will where she ended up making decent money or was she always earning a lower level income which is why she "worked her butt off". If that is the case it sounds like an hourly job that she may have earned overtime or some type of job where she received a base pay and commission. Either way, she was a solid, dependable worker. Says VOLUMES about who she was from a very young age.
****Also important to note that in her testimonial after her divorce when she is looking to build herself back up she mentions school. That is what many young people having been recently divorced would consider in order to get back on their feet and invest in their future. She is very open about this and states she was never a good student. She mentions that it took her more effort to do well in school then other people. At this point (which I found very telling) she bring Chris into her story as a comparison to herself. She says Chris can read something and basically get it all with very little effort on his part. What was a struggle for her came easy to him. Now all of this is in the context that she is attempting to build herself up. So my initial thought was her ex was critical of her and perhaps used her learning issues as a weapon against her. I brushed that aside though because she referred to the relationship as a good one that went bad. Not impossible he used this against her but in the very least, in the early days he did not. Perhaps the marriage ended because he cheat on her and wanted out. That she used Chris as an example at this stage of her story when she had yet to even meet him at this time is very curious. It does suggest to me that perhaps this WAS something he did to her...verbally abuse her by demeaning her ability to learn/emotional abuse. To me, this is the first inkling that he was abusive to her.
Finally, what I recognized right off the bat...how vulnerable she was when she met him. Recently divorced and just told she has a serious chronic issue that is going to have a big impact on her future. I met my abuser at my lowest time as well. I too was open and honest about where I was at. Enough for now though. I will address this later in another post because this one is getting too long.
