By no means defending him but in Caroline’s reported diary entries she states she hits him. The relationship was utterly chaotic.
"By no means defending him
but..." This is a classic example of victim blaming. It's like the "Ya, he raped you,
but you were wearing a short skirt." or, "You look great in that dress,
but..." or "I'm not racist,
but... You see, your honor, he was a battered husband! As for the relationship being 'utterly chaotic,' she was
19 when she died, let me repeat that,
19. She was all of
19 (b. 2001) and he was 33 (b 1988). She was a teenager for their entire relationship, marriage, baby, murder. The human brain doesn't fully mature until on average, age 25 (
see Big Think for a quick synopsis). There are expansive societal questions about the culpability of adolescents let alone a teenager that has spent years under the control of an older man.
We don't know if that diary actually belonged to her and if it did, had it been edited by B? She texted in Eng but wrote her diary in Greek before encrypting it? (eta: Let's assume she wrote it and it hasn't been edited in anyway.) I kept a journal when I was with my narc and never once did I write anything negative about him, even though he nearly crushed my soul into dust and he did so many controlling, cruel things. There was no physical violence, but, since I blamed all the fights/dysfunction/tension on myself and he was a saint to put up with me, if he had killed me before I left him, the journal would've gotten him off. "Yeah, he killed you,
but you were a horrible person to be in a relationship with."