About the vigil last night...
It was a deep and meaningful experience for me to be there around these very beautiful, however saddened, family members and friends of Adrienne. I've never encountered feelings like these before, fortunately, and so it was very different and exceedingly personal.
I've been to a lot of funerals where afterwards everyone is laughing and telling jokes even and there is such a relief in the fact that they can all get together to pay their respects to the dearly departed that you would hardly believe someone had just been buried.
It wasn't exactly like that, not like that at all because Adrienne is still very very much missing, but the smiles on their faces as they spoke about Adrienne were the smiles of people who have very much faith in God and who put their faith above all else. It made me happy to know they will always have some peace in their hearts because of their faith, even if I do not necessarily share their same spiritual beliefs.
I am highly spiritual and hardly religious. Because of my own brand of spirituality I do call on a higher spirit in times of need, but last night standing there with this grieving family, I could not help but think of the Thomas Paine quote: "These are the times that try men's souls."
It brought tears to my eyes to be around these people, so full of love, so full of faith, so filled with belief in their God and so full of hope that their beloved Adrienne will come home.
Suzanne, Adrienne's mother, was so beautiful and so sweet. One of the most gracious women I have ever met in my entire lifetime. She must have hugged me ten times to thank me for being there for Adrienne. I could tell that she is exhausted. She introduced me to Dalia, one of Adrienne's aunts. And Dalia was also very gracious, warm and friendly.
As I was walking towards that gathering, the storm was moving in and the wind had begun to blow quite hard. Scattered raindrops were falling and it looked like all hell was going to break loose any minute. Some people were leaving for their the shelter of their cars. Flash flood warnings were in effect and the news and TV vans were preparing to pull out to get out of the area before the monsoon hit.
One of the Fox News guy stopped me to talk to me as I was walking by. He didn't know anything new. He shared his opinion that Adrienne might still come home and recounted how recently a young woman in Colorado had been found after being missing for twenty years.
Rick sat on a picnic table and quietly talked about Adrienne. His sadness was all engulfing. He in no way believes that the woman spotted on the video at O'Reilly's was Adrienne. He wants to believe with all his heart she will come home. And yet you can tell he is very afraid that this will never happen. It is all he can do to crack even half a smile. He is a broken man. A man who knows too well the dangers in this world and a man who truly misses his angel daughter with every fiber of his being.
The plastic container next to where he sat on the edge of the picnic table had been once full of fliers with Adrienne's pictures and yet when I spoke to him it was empty. He gave me the last flier in it. Friends of the family and friends of Adrienne's left the area with hands full of fliers to take out and distribute and with hopes of helping in whatever small way they can.
Francisco, the boyfriend, was there with his mother and his father, who were also very warm and friendly. We spoke for a few minutes and he was anxious to share with me. He spoke of that last night with Adrienne and his sorrow and how much he wants her to come home, to be found. He talked about things they were planning to help find her, events they were organizing and told me he would welcome my participation. His genuine compassion and complete sorrow and grief did not go undetected by me. I am convinced that he had nothing to do with her disappearance.
I am so glad I went there last night. While it was, for the most part, a small and somber gathering of friends and family sharing in their grief, sharing their memories of Adrienne, sharing their hope she will come home soon, it was also somewhat cathartic. I felt so much better when I left than I did before I got there.
I now feel closer to Adrienne than I ever have. I know I have been welcomed into her inner circle of family and friends and their love and warmth has given me a better understanding of why her father keeps insisting that she "did not run away".
lease:
