This was totally premeditated. He just can't admit it. He says that he got used to a life without the kids while he spent all his time at NK's apartment for a month before they got home. He got on top of her to "talk" to her before she said a thing that morning and it made her uncomfortable. He planned this. Maybe not exactly what he would do to the girls and when - but this was planned. He just does not want to seem like a monster. That's just my take.
I agree with you. He straddled her to talk? He straddled her to pin her down, disable her and to strangle her. He knew that she would think that he was wanting to have sex again. So, at this point, she didn't resist.
He says that he asks her if they can cancel their Aspen trip and move away. Yet, he immediately, then moves the conversation to their marriage isn't going to work and he doesn't love her? She tells him to get off of her and that he is hurting the baby.
He doesn't get off of her because he has her in a vulnerable position to strangle her. Of course, she isn't going to fight. She is pinned down and can't fight. I am strong. Yet, I wouldn't be able to move if I were put in this position, no matter how much I struggled.
Bella was awakened because I can imagine that Shan'ann may have screamed before passing out.
To me, the only way that he can live with himself is to say that "something/someone took possession over him." That excuse would also placate his family, who never liked Shan'ann, anyway. IMO, they would try to find any excuse to blame it on her.
I actually think that, after meeting NK and doing all of the outdoorsy things with her that he wasn't able to do with Shan'ann and the kids, that he made up his mind that he wanted out to begin a new life.
Unfortunately, for some reason, divorce wasn't an option. What gets me is if he truly wanted a new life, Shan'ann supposedly gave him the perfect out of keeping the kids away from him.
He could then be the victim, saying that Shan'ann moved back to NC and refused to let him see the kids. Nope - for some reason - he felt that annihilation of his family was the only way to go.
How on earth did he believe that he would get away with this?