Another teen abandoned in Nebraksa

[MrsSimon]

Do you live in Nebraska? Well, neither did this child's parent. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for people who do not follow through the proper venues to get the help they need. Dropping off your teenager at a hospital? I also wonder what they spoke about on that twelve-hour journey.

I seriously can't fathom being driven to a hospital by my parent knowing that I am about to be deserted. OK, I realize being a parent is difficult but can you even begin to imagine the mental/psychological damage these children are going to suffer for the rest of their lives? It's heart-breaking.

 

[MrsSimon]

I wish they wouldn't change the law; I wish every state had one with no age limit.

And who do you suggest is going to take care of/raise these abandoned children?

 

[MissieMt]

And who do you suggest is going to take care of/raise these abandoned children?

Maybe the same people who have to take care of them once they enter the system AFTER they've been beaten beyond recognition? Or maybe it should be all the people who are waiting and praying to be able to adopt?
Seriously.....the "who" is not be an issue because right now, if these kids stay where they are there is no one taking care of them and watching out for their best interest.

 

[MagicRose99]

A law like this is just asking for these children to be abandoned. It's sad that these parents don't have the "staying" power. If we all decided we couldn't deal with our children and abandoned them, then there would be no parents anymore.

Being a parent is sticking and fighting for your child. It's being there when they need you and knocking heads when they do something stupid. There are agencies and programs designed to help those parents who need assistance. Abandoning them is just giving up on the child and yourself. It's an excuse to be free of the responsibilities... and that's sad.

 

[Sheromom]

Maybe the same people who have to take care of them once they enter the system AFTER they've been beaten beyond recognition? Or maybe it should be all the people who are waiting and praying to be able to adopt?
Seriously.....the "who" is not be an issue because right now, if these kids stay where they are there is no one taking care of them and watching out for their best interest.

Thank you, MissieMt; that was my answer- LOL. I do feel passionately about it as well. In spite of the horror stories of the old time "orphan homes", I would rather see something like that than children left with people who don't want them. And yes, I have fostered before and would again in a heart beat; I think and hope that many Americans would.

 

[MeoW333]

I have to chime in here because I've been in this situation and now know of many many more parents in the same boat. had this law been in effect when i was desperate i would have been on the first flight to Omaha!

if you seriously think it's always the parents inability to find resources, you would be dead wrong.

i adopted a 11 yr old and 4 months later he sodomized my 4 yr old at knife point while i showered. NOT a single agency would help. i dropped him off at a crisis hospital and refused to pick him up. dyfs said they don't get involved with kid on kid crimes and threatened to charge me cause i refused to pick him up and bring him home.

long story short....until you have walked in these parents shoes.......don't judge them.

i now advise parents on a daily basis of this loophole in the law. so expect to see lots more of this.

Good Lord, Linda! That's a terrible situation. Couldn't you check him into a youth psychiatric hospital for long term?

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I knew a couple who took in one of those "children without a conscience" from a relative. It was horrific. They did everything humanly possible to help the girl. They eventually found it was impossible to get help she needed. They were also threatened with abandonment if they tried to "unadopt" her.

These people had to lock their bedroom doors at night because she threatened repeatedly to kill them. There were many other such incidences where they found themselves with no recourse against this child. No one would take her inhouse because she was so violent. No agency would help because they made too much money. It was a nightmare!!

When I heard of people dropping off older kids...this case popped into my head immediately. They would have driven across the country to get help in their situation.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Good Lord, Linda! That's a terrible situation. Couldn't you check him into a youth psychiatric hospital for long term?

sure, if i had an extra twelve HUNDRED dollars a DAY!

 

[Vask]

sure, if i had an extra twelve HUNDRED dollars a DAY!

Don't adoption agencies have some sort of a trial period? I don't want to make a child sound like a pet or something, but I've heard about trial periods and for whatever reason if the child doesn't bond, or more harsh situations that the agency takes them back.

 

[Vask]

And who do you suggest is going to take care of/raise these abandoned children?

Putting them in foster care is a lot better than reading, "3 Siblings Murdered- Mother Charged."

 

[Linda7NJ]

Don't adoption agencies have some sort of a trial period? I don't want to make a child sound like a pet or something, but I've heard about trial periods and for whatever reason if the child doesn't bond, or more harsh situations that the agency takes them back.

There's a pre-placement adoption period, usually it's 6 months. Anything that happens after the adoption is finial it's all on you. Sometimes ...in some states there may be post adoption services advailable, and some cases there's a subsidy agreement that can include long term RTC care.

A child's history ( full disclousure) is supposed to be shared with prospective adoptive parents so the adoptive parents can make a informed choice to adopt or not. Too often, as in my case, this information was withheld. All I was told was he was ADD and his mother died from a drug overdose when he was 8 yrs old .

 

[soyesterday]

hey guys
i was wondering if anyone saw 20/20 tonight...they had a segment on the Safe Haven stuff...it was so sad....they interviewed a couple or moms and a grandmother and an aunt...
i'm actually still kinda....feeling a little sick about it, so i don't know what to say....i mean, it was really just so sad....
i feel bad for everyone involved really

 

[MagicRose99]

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Gov. Dave Heineman signed into law Friday a bill adding a 30-day age limit to a safe-haven law that allowed 35 children - including teenagers as old as 17 - to be abandoned at state hospitals. The law, approved hours earlier by the Legislature in a 45-3 vote, goes into effect Saturday, and makes Nebraska the 14th state with a 30-day age cap. It had been the only state with a safe-haven law without an age limit.

"I think this solves the immediate problem of adolescents being abandoned," said state Sen. Kent Rogert. "These kids are old enough to know they're being dropped off, and that's not good."

The law was meant to prevent newborns from being dumped in trash bins or worse.

But it has been used to abandon 35 children at state hospitals since July - many of them preteens or teenagers as old as 17.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1110ap_safe_haven.html

 

[SewingDeb]

Are they going to offer alternatives to parents who are at their wit's end with their teens?

I don't think teens should ever have been included in their original law and out of state parents should have had no options in Nebraska but are they doing anything to help teens whose parents have given up and just can't handle them?