Internet fury after customer describes on Facebook how salon owner 'made mom and her

[looneymama]

This is not aimed towards anyone, it is just something I started thinking about this evening so I thought I'd offer another perspective. This goes along with what I mentioned before about how some places sell more than a service, but also a certain type of experience.

I think it is unfair for some people to just assume everyone else in the place is 'normal' and therefore should have an endless supply of tolerance. Don't get me wrong, no matter where I am if I see another mom struggling I'm out of my chair cleaning up spills, offering my place in line, doing anything I can to make that moment a bit easier for that mom because I know that feeling.

This talk of how 'normal' people should just deal with things...well, it's unfair.
For starters, what is normal? My normal is not some people's normal. I have a son with sensory issues. I actually have them as well. Unfortunately it wold probably be frowned upon if I were to cover my ears, close my eyes and curl up into the fetal position when I am feeling overwhelmed, so I don't...but I really really want to.
It makes you feel as if you are being attacked and can't escape. I curl up in a ball, but my son turns into a caged animal. He panics and paces. He talks or sings loudly to block the noises out. He cries, he gets angry. Its mentally and physically exhausting for both of us.

So let's say he got a fantastic grade on a test or did something wonderful and I wanted to take him out to a nice dinner as a reward. Knowing that he has issues with noisy places, I might do some research to try and find just the right place. I might look for a place that specifically offers a calm relaxing experience. That place might even be more expensive but I'd be willing to pay extra because this place is offering just what I need for this special dinner I want to plan.
So, let's say I've done my research, I've found the place, I've paid the money to create this special evening for my son so he can see how wonderful he is to us and how proud we are of him, and someone decided to bring a kid who can't stop screaming to this place that is known to be calm and quiet.
Their excuse is that their child has the right to go where ever they want. So...is that child more important than mine? Just because my child isn't screaming doesn't mean he doesn't have his own disabilities. Is that child's disability more important than my son's? After all of that planning I should just be okay with my son getting sensory overload and freaking out on a day that was supposed to be special because someone else just assumed everyone else is normal and should be capable of dealing with it? Well my son is just as incapable of handling overstimulation as some kids are at controlling their volume. Why should my son's needs be less important when I have made the effort to take him to a place that is supposed to be quiet?

Again, not attacking anyone. I'm not writing this with anger, just something to think about. Yes, people should be tolerant of people with disabilities, but just as I understand that things can happen no matter how much you think you have prepared, it goes both ways. It would be unfair of me to go to a sports bar and ask everyone to talk quietly amongst themselves so they don't stress my kid out, but it is okay to bring a kid with no volume control to a place that is supposed to be quiet? That is not advocating tolerance for people with disabilities. That is advocating tolerance to one child (their own) and showing no consideration for anyone else.

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[BeginnersLuck]

I know I will always run into difficult people throughout life. Some that I know personally I may understand a little bit better because I know they have a mental illness. Then there are the others that I will run into while out and about and I know it's my responsibility on how I chose to react to the situation. I have always been very sensitive so it's easy for me to take things personally. I need to remember to remind myself that it is not my problem, it is theirs and I shouldn't own it or carry it.

I ask the waitress that I know why the employees stay at the restaurant that I talked about earlier. (The owner is very mean to them even in front of the customers) she said the tips are good and the owner is mentally ill, so I guess they just try and do the best they can to deal with her illness although some of the employees have been brought to tears. I don't think I could handle it myself. It did make me think about the woman in the salon having issues herself, although I still don't think it's any excuse for her behavior.

 

[Sonya610]

You do understand that they do not know any better, don't you? Whether they are kids or adults, they have a mental issue that is far beyond "normal".

And YOU do understand that presumably the adult caregiver/parent IS of sound mind and should practice courtesy and common sense.

This isn't about the actions of the kid -- it is about the choices of the parent.

 

[Opie]

My son, now an adult with children of his own, was what back in the day was called "hyperactive." We attended separate church services so one of us could be home with him rather than subject the other members of the congregation to his likely outbursts. (There were no cry rooms in those days.)

As for going out to a restaurant? We hired a sitter or took our children to child-friendly places.

I think this whole discussion comes down to not-so-common courtesy.

 

[TheDuchess]

I'm just so sad reading this thread. In a place where we discuss children being abused, missing, neglected and even killed. Where is the empathy?

I literally just want to cry when I hear so many people saying "me me me me me me" and "my rights."

No one has the right to yell at a customer ANYWHERE, especially a child-private business or not.

My life is so blessed-a loving husband, 3 healthy wonderful children and a beautiful home. It's takes a lot more than a toddler having a temper tantrum to "wreck my dinner" or "ruin my enjoyable salon experience."

Screaming self-important salon owner vs. screaming autistic toddler and his mother, paying customers....I will ALWAYS side with the child.

 

[LinasK]

The owner is the one who badly mishandled this situation, and yes it's her business, but at that rate she won't keep it long! Customers do have the right to complain and even 2-year-olds who aren't autistic cry and get traumatized at having their hair cut. If I were the child's mother, I would have taken him to a children's haircutting place. They have them here with brightly colored murals, child seats, toys, and videos playing. My daughter went to one for 11 years. Autism is NOT the issue and this owner is an idiot, IMO.

 

[LinasK]

My son, now an adult with children of his own, was what back in the day was called "hyperactive." We attended separate church services so one of us could be home with him rather than subject the other members of the congregation to his likely outbursts. (There were no cry rooms in those days.)

As for going out to a restaurant? We hired a sitter or took our children to child-friendly places.

I think this whole discussion comes down to not-so-common courtesy.

Exactly, the kid deserves better than to have to have his hair cut at home with a bowl!!!

 

[looneymama]

There is a big difference between someone lacking empathy and someone wishing people had common courtesy.

If a person brings their son who has sensory issues to a place that is supposed to be quiet and someone brings a child who is unable to stay quiet to the same place, how come the person with the quiet child who feels physically assaulted by loud noises has to be empathetic to the loud child's situation, but the loud child's parent doesn't have to be empathetic towards the child with sensory issues?

Empathy goes BOTH ways.

I would not go to an amusement park and ask them to turn the blinking lights and music off and ask everyone to speak in an inside voice and walk around in single file lines so my son doesn't get sensory overload and freak out, I recognize that people go to amusement parks for that chaotic environment and everything that comes with it. Knowing that, I take him elsewhere.

That is me having empathy for my son and the people who went to the amusement park to have an amusement park experience.

What about the mom with the autistic child who has never been away from them for five years and just once wants to sit down to a quiet dinner. Doesn't she deserve empathy? How about the soldier with PTSD who is triggered by screams? They don't deserve empathy?

Again, the woman should not have yelled at that child. Absolutely not. I'm not saying that.

I just think that just because one person deserves empathy, it doesn't mean no one else around them does. It should go both ways.

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[killarney rose]

And YOU do understand that presumably the adult caregiver/parent IS of sound mind and should practice courtesy and common sense.

This isn't about the actions of the kid -- it is about the choices of the parent.

Just hitting thanks is. Not enough!!!!

 

[TheDuchess]

There is a big difference between someone lacking empathy and someone wishing people had common courtesy.

If a person brings their son who has sensory issues to a place that is supposed to be quiet and someone brings a child who is unable to stay quiet to the same place, how come the person with the quiet child who feels physically assaulted by loud noises has to be empathetic to the loud child's situation, but the loud child's parent doesn't have to be empathetic towards the child with sensory issues?

Empathy goes BOTH ways.

I would not go to an amusement park and ask them to turn the blinking lights and music off and ask everyone to speak in an inside voice and walk around in single file lines so my son doesn't get sensory overload and freak out, I recognize that people go to amusement parks for that chaotic environment and everything that comes with it. Knowing that, I take him elsewhere.

That is me having empathy for my son and the people who went to the amusement park to have an amusement park experience.

What about the mom with the autistic child who has never been away from them for five years and just once wants to sit down to a quiet dinner. Doesn't she deserve empathy? How about the soldier with PTSD who is triggered by screams? They don't deserve empathy?

Again, the woman should not have yelled at that child. Absolutely not. I'm not saying that.

I just think that just because one person deserves empathy, it doesn't mean no one else around them does. It should go both ways.

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THIS!!! This is what this thread is about. It doesn't matter that the mother chose to take the child to get the haircut. It's about the fact that the owner of the salon embarrassed the poor woman to tears, and terrified the child further, and ultimately caused another client that witnessed it to speak out.

The way this woman treated the mother and child is WRONG...period. While not a crime, it can be equated with the same standard we use for crime...if someone rapes a woman wearing skimpy clothing alone on the street any less guilty of a crime? If you are walking through a bad neighborhood at night alone, do you deserve to get mugged? If you leave your keys in a running car with the doors unlocked, does it give someone the right to steal it? While perhaps none of these scenarios are the best of ideas, it makes the crime no less of a crime because the victim was "asking for it."

While to a lesser degree, that is the logic that many on the thread are bringing to the argument. The woman deserved to be verbally assaulted and publicly humiliated because she shouldn't have brought a toddler in there.

I always tell my children: The moment you lose your cool is the moment you lose your argument. Any argument in favor of this shop owner went out the window the moment she opened up her big fat trap and acted like a maniac. Had she politely asked the woman to take her son out of the shop until he calmed down, I think everyone here would be on her side. But she didn't. She went absolutely nuts on the woman in front of other customers and regardless of what her child was doing, should never have been treated that way. There is a right way and a wrong way to be treated.

And for what it is worth, it has been reported that the child had been there several times before without incident, she was a regular paying client and the salon did in fact take the booking knowing the child was not only 2 years old, but apparently also knew that he was autistic. Just for the record.

 

[gitana1]

I used to go to a restaurant until I saw this same behavior by a woman toward her staff. I knew one of the waitresses so I heard all the horrors behind the scene. I haven't gone to the establishment since.

The woman's behavior was completely out of line. I am speaking from my own customer service experience. There are multiple ways she could have handled this differently. Causing a scene in front of other customers, bringing a woman to tears and certainly frightening this small child is unacceptable.

I have seen many toddlers scream when they get a haircut. Disabled or not. The owner could have had a policy in place for young children. She could have had a separate location in her spa that young children got their hair cut if she chose to cater to that age group. If the owner had experienced similar problems in the past, then she should have implemented a policy, not blown up on a customer.

As far high scale restaurants go, I would be unhappy if I went out for dinner and the table next to me had screaming children. Luckily in my city the high scale restaurants are 21 and over or they have separate family rooms. Again, I think this is the restaurants responsibility to implement procedures to ensure that their customers have a relaxing dining experience and will frequent their business again.

I remember times when my daughter was a toddler and if she was acting up, I would pay the bill and get the food to go. So yes, there are always going to be some situations where the parent should take responsibility and not just ignore children's behavior when out in public. I see this happen occasionally, but this is not the kind of issue that is being discussed here.

How the owner chose to react to the situation is the problem.

Agreed.

She is still entitled to kick out someone causing a disruption, and she is not required to be nice about it. It's her place of business, if something is annoying her it doesn't matter if other people there are fine with it - she still gets the final say. Not sure why people are confused about that or think there is something wrong about it.

She has not done anything wrong. The problem is that some people have decided that she should have had to put up with the disruption, and when she did not, they are attempting to punish her for it. There is a word for that - it is called "bullying".

Yeah, she's entitled to kick people out and not be nice about it. But you have something wrong here. You see, when she acts in that way, other people have rights as well - the right to boycott her business and to tell others about her nasty behavior so that they can make the choice whether or not to go there. And that's not bullying. Kicking someone out while not being nice about it, is.

Another odd thing, if the owner supposedly started yelling at this woman and berating her horribly, and her behavior shocked all of the other patrons etc....

Why didn't any of the other patrons intervene to calm the situation down? Even just saying "He's just a little upset over the haircut...no big deal" would have done a lot to settle things if the scene was that over the top.

Instead the family (including the husband) walked out quietly and no other patrons said anything. The story gets retold and becomes a big deal afterwards.

I have started using a small 2 chair salon the last couple of years, when I started going there I told them straight up one of the reasons I stopped using their main competitor (a larger salon that is pricier) is because they often had large families with loud children hanging around and making lots of noise. I told them I liked THEIR shop because it was quiet.

Both the stylists have kids, they do get kids in the salon sometimes but the children are quiet and well behaved. They know darn well if that changed I would stop patronizing them.

The bottom line is some people think because they have to deal with a child that has annoying behavioral problems...or is just loud and obnoxious for various reasons....and they have to deal with that child and the behavior EVERY DAY .....the rest of the world OWES IT TO THEM to suffer along with them. Sorry, that is not always the case!

People at salons are notorious for not speaking up to the stylists or owners. It's a psychological phenomena: [ame="http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=181461"]Why Are People Afraid to Speak Up or Walk Out of Salons??? - Long Hair Care Forum[/ame]

I have read about that over the years but can't find the best link about it right now. But it's the truth.

The mother went back in and had her hair colored and styled. This says more to me than the actions of the owner.

See above. Plus, moms with disabled kids sometimes get used to being treated badly. They just put up with it. Note, it was NOT the mom who publicized this event. She just cried and took it. It was an upset bystander.

And YOU do understand that presumably the adult caregiver/parent IS of sound mind and should practice courtesy and common sense.

This isn't about the actions of the kid -- it is about the choices of the parent.

What wrong choices did this mom make?

 

[gitana1]

I am so confused about this thread? Why we are we talking about rude, disrespectful parents who take their bratty kids to nice restaurants where they allow them to flail about, or entitled parents who take their children to what we feel are inappropriately adult-centric places like non-kid friendly movies, or swank dining or shopping venues, and then let their kids act like monsters and run around?

For the record, I get irked about that stuff. I do. When I pay money or have the scant time for a nice evening at a good movie or restaurant, I don't want to have to deal with screaming, tantruming kids whose parents won;t remove them. (In fact, I can;t stand the sound of angrily screaming children anywhere, really).

But again, that's not what this is about.

This is about a mother and child INVITED to get their hair done at a certain establishment. The salon ALLOWED the toddler to have his hair cut there and we all know toddlers often scream and cry and throw fits, whether they have a disability or not.

Then, after the haircut - which the salon AGREED to perform - began, the baby started crying. And then the mother and her toddler, according to an independent witness, were berated, yelled at and forced to go outside where the child was groomed like a dog.

Can you all tell me how that relates at all to the repeated stories about creepy parents who disrespect the rights of others? Because there is nothing, zilch, zip, nada, in that report, indicating that the mother just negligently sat there while her child screamed and flailed about, or helped herself to coffee or chatted on the phone while uncomfortable patrons suffered through the thrashings of her kid. So why are there so many dang posts that act like that's what happened?

Again, the salon invited the baby to come there, agreed to cut his hair and allowed the hair cut to occur. So how is this a parent bringing a child to an "inappropriately" adult venue?

We don;t know how the mother tried to calm her child or whether she picked him up and walked out right away to try not to disturb other patrons. The salon owner allowed the haircut to continue so clearly they wanted the money for it and if they were willing to take her money, then they should have treated her with kindness and understanding. And honey child, if they couldn't do that, they shouldn't be in a service-orientated business. Period.

Now maybe I am misunderstanding some of these posts. Maybe the message is not that the mother was rude, but that because some human beings with disabilities may act socially inappropriately (as if non-disabled people never do!), then these human beings should be kept at home because the rest of the people on the planet have rights that trump theirs, since how dare they disrupt anyone's peace.

If that's the case, excuse me while I puke.

I have to admit that it is that attitude that is one of the things that make our beautiful country not as perfect as it could be. I want to paint a picture of how things could be better:

My family is from Spain. My family is made up of a huge number of performers. They are Spanish Gypsies - those are the people who created Flamenco - and they are professional dancers, singers and guitarists. In the south of Spain where my family is from, Flamenco is a part of life. Weddings are three day affairs among Gypsies and I vividly remember being at one at which I really paid attention to just how many brilliant dancers and singers there were.

So picture a huge, ugly concrete warehouse. Massive. Just fulled to brimming with various, different groups of people, dressed to the nines, sitting in circles where they talked and sang and drank and ate and danced - all these different groups within this big group - and the best food, all the booze you can drink, all to fuel the most passionate, incredible artists ever assembled in one, vast room.

Now, these events are so incredible, that people try to crash them all the time. You keep seeing non-Gypsies trying to sneak in and being tossed out on their ears. (All the GYpsies are related so they are all invited). And the beauty of it, the artistry, among a population of people who entertain for a living or who don;t but who just bleed Flamenco - "They come out dancing". And you see just one phenomenal dancer after another get up, go into the center of the circles and dance as everyone claps out a rhythm for them and as the incredible singers sing and guitarists play and as people yell out, "Ole!" "Asa" "Toma ya!".

And then you watch as a tiny child gets up and starts to try to dance, moving her chubby little hands in time as the adults look on adoringly. Then comes the incredibly old lady who can barely stand, let alone dance. But she gets up. And she shuffles her little feet about and moves her hands ever so slightly. But she does it in perfect "compass"or timing and in her subtle movements, the echoes of mastery and a soul infused with the art, bleed out of her.

Then comes up a clearly, very intellectually disabled woman who begins dancing, moving her hips and skirt, trying to dance with the rhythm. And she somehow does. But no one would ever pay to watch this person "dance". In fact, I surmise that many would find it a gross display and want to avert their eyes.

But it's not gross and no one averts their eyes. And she is dancing and it IS flamenco. Because that is what Flamenco is - the group, the inclusion, the shared blood and cultural threads that connect every last person in that vast chamber, together, and their ancestors, for generations back. And when that disabled woman gets up to dance in that circle, they clap the rhythms just as beautifully, maybe even a bit more artfully, they yell out to her just as moved as they did when they saw a master dance and the guitarist and the singer, they play as remarkably as ever, if not just a bit more so. Because that woman, so disabled, is part of the fabric of who they all are.

You know, no one is segregated in Gypsy culture. For that matter, In Spanish culture in general, every human being, no matter their age, or condition, including the "lunatic"in the street, the gay guys who come flouncing in to the bar to dance, the babies, the elderly, the disabled, whatever. Everyone is at every party, and every local bar (yes, even babies and kids). Everyone is taken care of by family and by their community. No one is considered "too whatever" to participate in daily life.

I think we lack that here. We need our tidy suburbs with our jewel bright lawns and private back yards and large garages into which we drive our cars, entering our homes through the back door, not even saying hi to our neighbors. And to pay for that, there are no neighbors on the street to watch the kids play. Our babies are put in daycares and our elderly in retirement homes. Our disabled? Forget it. They have the home for the deaf, the blind, in some case and they even have segregated proms, I suppose so they don't disturb others with their odd behavior and loud noises.

When did we become such an uptight, lonely society? Why is this okay? Why can't people realize that the messy things in life, the messy people, the imperfections, the distractions and "disturbances", those things are exactly what makes us alive and what makes our lives full and rich and real?

What ever happened to society, community, inclusion, tolerance?

 

[my_tee_mouse]

I completely agree. This was a 2 year old getting his HAIR CUT IN FANCY SALON!

Sorry but how hard is it to cut the 2 year old's hair AT HOME? If he carries on and cries/screams why subject other innocent people paying good money for a quiet salon experience to that???

That salon should risk losing business because the mom insists her 2 year old has to have a fancy salon cut? It is ridiculous.

Common sense and courtesy people! I guess that doesn't exist anymore at ALL.

O.M.G. Or better yet, why don't we just lock him up in an institution so that none of us are ever bothered by his behavior? For that matter, why don't we go one step further and just lock up everyone with "gross-looking" disabilities so all of us "normal" folks don't have to be subjected to seeing them?! And naturally since someone has a disability, they aren't entitled to services other than those offered in the cheapest dives! Sheesh. :steamed:

As has been noted time and again, a child with autism is not simply a child misbehaving. The people at the spa would have done well to help the mother figure out a way to make the experience as painless as possible instead of escalating the situation. Then, the next visit would have been easier.

I would love to know what the other patrons thought. I'd be willing to bet they were more disturbed by the behavior of the spa owner than they were by the behavior of the child. I guarantee the child felt the animosity of the owner, and that just upset the child all the more.

There's not a perfect one among us. If people were more accepting of differences and worked together...cooperated...to find common ground, to make the tasks of daily living easier for everyone, life would be so much easier for all of us. Signed: A very disgusted my_tee_mouse, Licensed Social Worker and Certified Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor

 

[gitana1]

O.M.G. Or better yet, why don't we just lock him up in an institution so that none of us are ever bothered by his behavior? For that matter, why don't we go one step further and just lock up everyone with "gross-looking" disabilities so all of us "normal" folks don't have to be subjected to seeing them?! And naturally since someone has a disability, they aren't entitled to services other than those offered in the cheapest dives! Sheesh. :steamed:

As has been noted time and again, a child with autism is not simply a child misbehaving. The people at the spa would have done well to help the mother figure out a way to make the experience as painless as possible instead of escalating the situation. Then, the next visit would have been easier.

I would love to know what the other patrons thought. I'd be willing to bet they were more disturbed by the behavior of the spa owner than they were by the behavior of the child. I guarantee the child felt the animosity of the owner, and that just upset the child all the more.

There's not a perfect one among us. If people were more accepting of differences and worked together...cooperated...to find common ground, to make the tasks of daily living easier for everyone, life would be so much easier for all of us. Signed: A very disgusted my_tee_mouse, Licensed Social Worker and Certified Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor

People bring their kids into my office a lot. And when they are too young to wait in the waiting area, it can be difficult. I bring out those liquid paper strips, copy and original stamps and signature tabs, plus tons of paper and highlighters and let them go at it. They make a huge, horrible mess but it allows me small moments to talk with their parents. What are you going to do?

I had one client with a boy with autism and fragile X. Just humming and buzzing and flapping around the office, down the hall, all over the place. But I talked to him calmly and kept showing him various things to distarct him and I let him rip up papers and draw where he shouldn't and rip apart my liquid paper tape. His mom kept apologizing but it was okay.

I heard that kids with his disabilities don;t like soft touches so I kept squeezing him gently and reassuringly when talking to him - squeezing his little hands and forearms.

At the end, this kid who had not spoken or looked me in the eye once, walked toward the door as if I never existed. But at the last moment he stopped, then turned around suddenly, stood there looking at me for a moment, right in the eyes and said, "Bye, lady."

That moment stayed with me. It took a while to clean up but I will never forget that moment.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

Another odd thing, if the owner supposedly started yelling at this woman and berating her horribly, and her behavior shocked all of the other patrons etc....

Why didn't any of the other patrons intervene to calm the situation down? Even just saying "He's just a little upset over the haircut...no big deal" would have done a lot to settle things if the scene was that over the top.

Instead the family (including the husband) walked out quietly and no other patrons said anything. The story gets retold and becomes a big deal afterwards.

I have started using a small 2 chair salon the last couple of years, when I started going there I told them straight up one of the reasons I stopped using their main competitor (a larger salon that is pricier) is because they often had large families with loud children hanging around and making lots of noise. I told them I liked THEIR shop because it was quiet.

Both the stylists have kids, they do get kids in the salon sometimes but the children are quiet and well behaved. They know darn well if that changed I would stop patronizing them.

The bottom line is some people think because they have to deal with a child that has annoying behavioral problems...or is just loud and obnoxious for various reasons....and they have to deal with that child and the behavior EVERY DAY .....the rest of the world OWES IT TO THEM to suffer along with them. Sorry, that is not always the case!

This is the definition of autism: "Annoying behavioral problems?" Oy. Perhaps some reading on the disorder is called for. And frankly I do not want to be in an establishment where patrons have this attitude toward people with autism. So maybe people who are so self-centered and cold-hearted as to think autism is just an "annoying behavioral problem" should be sequestered somewhere to enable the kind-hearted souls among us to have a decent dining/shopping/spa experience.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

The mother went back in and had her hair colored and styled. This says more to me than the actions of the owner.

It tells me that the mother has been berated time and again and is beaten down and has accepted the fact that she and her child are going to be treated like this time and again.

 

[momrids6]

The mother went back in and had her hair colored and styled. This says more to me than the actions of the owner.

See above. Plus, moms with disabled kids sometimes get used to being treated badly. They just put up with it. Note, it was NOT the mom who publicized this event. She just cried and took it. It was an upset bystander.

RSBM: I am the mother of a disabled adult. Some place would freeze before I had my husband come get my child- and went into that salon and had my hair done.

It tells me that the mother has been berated time and again and is beaten down and has accepted the fact that she and her child are going to be treated like this time and again.

Acceptance of bad behavior continues the bad behavior.

 

[gitana1]

RSBM: I am the mother of a disabled adult. Some place would freeze before I had my husband come get my child- and went into that salon and had my hair done.



Acceptance of bad behavior continues the bad behavior.

Good for you. I think that would be my reaction as well. I hope so, anyhow. But not all parents are the same. Which is why I used the qualifier "sometimes".

I don't think it's logical to use one's own, individual temperament to make judgment calls about everyone else and what's valid or not. People are different. Some people fight and some cry.

 

[momrids6]

Good for you. I think that would be my reaction as well. I hope so, anyhow. But not all parents are the same. Which is why I used the qualifier "sometimes".

I don't think it's logical to use one's own, individual temperament to make judgment calls about everyone else and what's valid or not. People are different. Some people fight and some cry.

I have a problem with her going back in- after sending child home, and allowing the child's hair to be cut outside. What message did that send to the child.... not a good one, imo. It may be her temperment is different- however- as parent, ( or a stranger for that matter) it is imperative to protect, stand up for, and be a positive role model for child/children- no matter how scary, difficult or uneasy a situation makes one feel.

 

[looneymama]

There's not a perfect one among us. If people were more accepting of differences and worked together...cooperated...to find common ground, to make the tasks of daily living easier for everyone, life would be so much easier for all of us. Signed: A very disgusted my_tee_mouse, Licensed Social Worker and Certified Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor

respectfully snipped by me

This is exactly what I am trying to say...I might not be doing a great job at it, but this is what I am trying to say.

Everyone should try to be more accepting of differences and work together. That means that it is not okay for me to walk around feeling like the world should revolve around me and my child because he has a disability. I can hope that people will be tolerant of whatever we are dealing with, but I also need to remember that everyone out there is going through something so I need to do my part to take them into consideration as well.

This goes both ways, why are people not seeing that? I think a lot of people here just want exactly this. They just want to meet somewhere in the middle. They aren't even talking about exactly in the middle. I don't think people are saying "keep those kids at home" I think they are saying that it is nice when people are mindful of those around them.

I know, this is not what this thread is about....I just think people are being attacked and shamed and they aren't trying to be intolerant, they are just asking for some tolerance in return. I think that is a fair request.